Ballad of the Postman
by MangoKat
Summary: The Windfish in name only, for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams? Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem. Part 4 of The Postman series. STORY COMPLETE
1. Prologue

**The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

**Authornote:  
**

**Okay, guys, here's part 4 and I hope this one will be better than part 3! This is probably going to be the longest and most epic of the series so far, so I hope you guys will like it! This is just the prologue so that's why it's a fair bit shorter than my usual chapters. I got so many reviews on part three's last chapter that it actually surprised me!  
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**Ballad of the Postman**

Prologue

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Ganondorf threw Sakon up against the wall with a sickening crunch. The thief let out a cry of pain and slid to the floor, both dazed and winded. Having bit his tongue at the impact, Sakon spat out a mouthful of blood, not daring to move. Ganondorf, his red hair dishevelled, scowled down at him and raised his boot to stomp down onto the smaller man's chest. Sakon let out a yell of pain as the boot made contact and looked up at the villain in pure terror.

"Did you really think you wouldn't be caught?" The Gerudo king demanded. "That I would just forget how you attempted to steal from me twice?"

Sakon coughed wetly and let out a wheeze as he attempted to sit up. Ganondorf was quick to kick him back to the floor.

"Let me remind you, Sakon, you belong to me. You're my thief and you will not betray me again."

He stomped down on Sakon's chest a second time who let out a shrill yell as he felt one of his ribs crack. Sakon clutched at his chest and instinctively curled into a protective ball. Ganondorf towered over him angrily and placed a boot on the thief's side, the threat clear. Sakon let out a squeal of protest and curled up even tighter, just wanting Ganondorf to stop. Ganondorf pressed down, causing Sakon to squeal all the louder and he squirmed to no avail.

"If you weren't so useful, I would have already killed you." Ganondorf informed him irritably. "When I'm done with you however, you'll never dare betray me again."

Sakon was completely terrified and knew Ganondorf could do any number of horrible things to him. Knowing that the Gerudo wasn't planning on killing him, made it all the worse and he gave another useless squirm hoping he wasn't going to be tortured.

"I'm sorry!" he wailed out. "I'm sorry!"

Ganondorf narrowed his eyes and pressed down all the harder. "You will be, Sakon." he stated. "I don't take betrayal lightly, and I will make an example of you!"

Sakon's normally silver tongue seemed to have turned to lead and he stared up at Ganondorf with wide frightened eyes. Ganondorf's red eyes bored into his own for a long, agonizing moment, then the villain turned his gaze to the two guards at the door.

"Take him to the dungeon." he ordered. "I don't have time to deal with this at the moment. I have more important things to take care of."

The guards one dressed in blue and the other green, seemed disappointed but still saluted all the same. "Yes, sire."

"You two are to stand guard over him the entire time until I come down." Ganondorf said. "If you turn your back, he will escape. He's my thief for a reason and is both sneaky and underhanded. Go through that backpack of his and remove any weapons."

If Sakon wasn't currently pinned beneath one of Ganondorf's boots, he might have felt flattered but was much too scared to think clearly.

Once again, the guards gave a salute and picked up the backpack. "Yes, sire."

Removing his boot from Sakon's side, Ganondorf watched as the guards seized Sakon and began dragging him from the room.

"I be will down to deal with you shortly." Ganondorf said as they left the room. "Try to escape and your punishment will double."

Once the door was closed and he was by himself, Ganondorf let out a disgruntled sigh. He had come across Sakon quite by chance while scouting a possible temple up North and it took six of his warriors to catch him. The thief may have horrible luck but he was fast and incredibly sneaky. Ganondorf was so furious at Sakon, he had immediately teleported them back to his castle to make an impression. Now that he'd calmed a bit, Ganondorf knew he had to finish his previous business before indulging in his revenge. With another sigh, he teleported himself back to Snowhead.

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Sakon kicked and screamed all the way to the dungeon, the guards holding him tightly by the arms. The hallways were just a blur to Sakon as he fought to get away but he definitely noticed when they reached the entrance to the dungeon. A horrified shiver made its way up his spine as the Gerudos pulled him down the dark and dank staircase and he kicked and struggled all the harder. Their grip was like steel and Sakon couldn't break free as they got closer and closer to the dungeon. The first thing Sakon saw were the bright glint of the torture devices and he let out a howl and thrashed against his captors.

The two guards were strong, obviously well trained and Sakon couldn't even loosen their grip. To his immense relief they passed the torture devices and instead unlocked a cell. They tossed him harshly inside then re-locked the door, then took a guarding position without sparing him another glance.

Sakon let out a groan at his harsh treatment and slowly rolled onto his side, feeling like one giant bruise. Glancing over at the two women, he knew it would be extremely difficult to escape while being watched so closely. Feigning being injured much more than he was, Sakon let out another agonized groan.

"I think I need medical help!" Sakon wheezed, trying his best to sound weak and pathetic.

The guard who was dressed in blue looked down at him with an obvious sneer. "You've felt nothing yet, thief. The king will be down shortly and you'll be lucky if he doesn't break every bone in your body!"

Sakon frowned and sat up. "Would it help if I said I was sorry and promised not to do it again?"

The guard let out a snort and turned away. Sakon stuck his tongue out at her and gave a dramatic sigh.

"Well, can I at least have a drink of water?" he asked.

"Don't have any." the guard in green responded without interest.

"There's a canteen in my backpack." Sakon said, pointing to the backpack which now sat by the guard's feet.

The guard looked down at it suspiciously but did open the top and pull out the full canteen. Opening it, she gave the contents a sniff then glanced over at the other woman with a shrug.

"It is just water." she stated.

"Give it to him. Lord Ganondorf wants him alive and well for when he 'deals' with him."

The guard gave a nod and tossed the canteen through the bars of the cage. As Sakon took a long drink, she lost interest and again turned away. What she didn't see was that Sakon was carefully using one of his nails to pull a lock-pick out of the bottom of the canteen. As he worked on getting it out, he took another sip of the water.

"I still think you should let me see a medic." he said casually. "What if I die? I could be bleeding internally right now for all you know!"

"Wouldn't that be a shame." the Gerudo in blue muttered.

Sakon gave her a dirty look and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "You're lucky you're both extremely good-looking or I'd be far angrier."

"Keep talking thief and I'll cut out your tongue."

"Prisoner brutality!" Sakon yelled out. "Prisoner brutality!"

Neither answered him and seemed determined to ignore him. Sakon finally got the lock-pick free and shoved it up his sleeve, the Gerudos none the wiser. Determined to make the Gerudos angry enough the open the cell, Sakon let out a loud obnoxious sigh.

"If I die, what would Ganondorf do without me?" he demanded, faking a cough. "No one is as good a thief as me! I'm the king of all thieves and am more valuable than you-"

Sakon cut off abruptly as an excruciating pain filled his entire body. It felt like his insides were being ripped apart and he immediately let out a shriek and fell to the floor. He gave another wail and curled in on himself both shocked and confused. Sakon was paralysed with agony and he stared straight upwards at the ceiling, delirious with pain. He felt a wetness make its way down his chin and realized his nose was bleeding.

Sakon was vaguely aware of the guards staring at him but could care less, the pain getting worse and worse. He laid on the floor clutching his stomach in agony as wave after wave of agony ripped through him. He knew he was screaming at the top of his lungs but all he could hear was the blood pulsing within his ears. He felt his tears mix with the blood on his face and convulsed as another wave of pain overtook him. His head was getting light and somewhat dreamlike, although the pain wasn't subsiding, and he hoped this meant he was dying. Just as the pain reached all new levels of horrible, everything went black and he sagged limply to the floor.

The first thing Sakon noticed was that there was no pain. Slowly opening his eyes, he gave a long blink and noticed his perspective was wrong. Giving another blink, he realized he was floating several feet off the ground weightlessly. Confused, he looked down and saw he was hovering directly over his own body. He stared down at himself with wide eyes, not quite comprehending what was happening. Holding up one of his arms, he saw he appeared solid but yet floated no heavier than smoke.

"Nice try, thief." he heard a voice say. "I'm not falling for such a stupid trick."

Looking over, he saw the Gerudo in green frowning down at his body. When it didn't move, she seemed a bit uncertain.

"Do you think he's faking?" she asked.

The second guard also gave him a frown. "It sounded pretty real to me..."

The Gerudo in green scratched at her hair a moment. "Lord Ganondorf said he was incredibly sneaky, what if it is a trick?"

"Just leave him there." The Gerudo in blue suggested with a shrug. "Do you really care if he's dead?"

"No, not really, but the king wanted him alive."

Sakon, who had floated closer to them to listen gave them a scowl. "_You're horrible!_" he yelled. "_I'm still alive, you can't just leave me in there!_"

They obviously couldn't see or hear him as neither reacted to his words. Sakon gave another yell, all which fell on deaf ears. Frustrated, Sakon struck out at one of the Gerudos but his fist went straight through her harmlessly.

"Do you think I should check him all the same? Lord Ganondorf won't be happy if he's dead..."

"Go ahead but keep your sword on him. This whole thing might be a trap so be careful."

Sakon watched as the Gerudo opened the cell and knew he had to do something. Trying to concentrate, he reeled back his leg and booted straight at her face. He was once again surprised and dismayed when his foot went right through her. The Gerudo didn't notice and knelt down next to his body, giving him a hard poke. His body lobbed but didn't move. The Gerudo stared down at him a moment suspiciously, then hesitantly reached out and laid two fingers against his throat. She waited a minute then looked up to the other guard.

"He's dead."

Sakon's eyes widened in alarm. "_What? No, I'm not! I'm still here!_" he yelled out to them desperately. "_I'm still alive!_"

The other Gerudo frowned. "Dead?" she questioned. "Are you sure?"

The Gerudo next to his body checked once more then gave a nod. "Unless he somehow stopped his heart, then he's definitely not faking."

"...how did it happen?"

The Gerudo in green reached out and picked up the canteen. She gave it a sniff then held it out the other woman. "Looks like a case of poisoning to me."

Sakon was stunned. He was poisoned? His heart had stopped? Looking down at his body, he felt very afraid. Was he really dead? In a panic, he threw himself down into his body trying to merge. He felt himself connect just briefly and the body convulsed before he was thrown violently back out. Frustrated, Sakon tried again with the same results.

Both Gerudos watched as the body convulsed, seemingly in the throws of a violent seizure and exchanged a look. It convulsed over and over again as Sakon tried to regain control of the body and neither of the Gerudos knew what was going on.

"...I think we should summon the king..."

As the body gave another flop, the other Gerudo quickly nodded her agreement. As both women ran from the dungeon, Sakon let out a howl of pure frustration. The cell was wide open but he couldn't seem to stick inside his body long enough to take advantage of it. No matter how hard he tried, he could only stay inside his body a brief moment before being ejected.

"_I'm not dead!_" Sakon yelled, more for his own reassurance than anything. "_I'm not!_"

Sakon wasn't sure what had happened but when he went back into his body he could feel his heart start as soon as he touched it and then stop as he was thrown out. Certain this meant he was alive, he floated above his body listlessly, trying to figure out what to do. The dark, shadowed dungeon made him shiver, despite not being able to feel the cold and he observed the blood and tears on his face with almost a morbid curiosity. His eyes were still open a crack, staring unseeingly upwards and Sakon felt a bit creeped out. He really did look dead and hoped he'd be able to find a way back to his body shortly.

He wasn't sure how long he floated, staring into the darkness of the dungeon, but after a while, Ganondorf appeared on the staircase. He approached the cell, seeming very angry and gazed down at Sakon's body with a look that crossed between disgusted and annoyed. Sakon floated over to the Gerudo king, sure of all people he'd be able to see him.

"_Ganondorf!_" Sakon bellowed directly into his ear. "_Hey! Ugly! I'm still alive! Ganondorf!_"

Ganondorf rubbed at his ear as if there was an annoying buzzing but otherwise didn't react. He knelt next to the body, and removed one of his gloves. Laying his hand on Sakon's chest, he closed his eyes in concentration. He was silent several minutes as his hand emitted a dark glow then stood up and turned away with a scowl.

"He's dead." he stated to the two guards. "There's nothing I can do."

"_Ganondorf!_" Sakon yelled again. "_I am __not__ dead, you stupid Gerudo!_"

"Build a pyre and burn his body with the other dead prisoners." Ganondorf ordered, still not hearing the screaming in his ear. "And find me a new thief."

"Yes, sire." the Gerudo in green said with a salute.

"_What?_" Sakon cried. "_No! You can't burn it! I'm still alive! I'm still here, you stupid desert rat!_"

Ganondorf rubbed at his ear again, and gave a glance around as if he'd heard something but was unsure of exactly what. Excited, Sakon screamed as loudly as he could into the villain's ear.

"_Ganondorf! I'm still here! I'm still here! Ganondorf!_"

Ganondorf gave one more glance around then turned away. "Inform me when it's done."

"Yes, sire."

Then, without another word, Ganondorf disappeared in a shimmer of power. Sakon stared after the two guards who quickly left, running up the stairs, and felt a heavy desperation in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he was certain that if his body was harmed, he truly would die. Sakon let out a howl that should have echoed along the walls but instead it fell short as if something were muffling it. He had to save his body! Sakon tried again to re-enter it but was thrown out like every time before.

"_This is ridiculous!_" he cried. "_Someone__ has to be able to see me!_"

Sakon floated out of the cell and gazed around the dirty and dreary dungeon, knowing he had to do something. He had to find someone who could see him, anyone! Not holding much hope, he floated out of the dungeon, determined to find someone who could save him.

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**Reviews make the author happy!**


	2. The Haunting

**Authornote:  
**

**So sorry it took me an entire week to get this chapter out! I've actually re-written this chapter three times but can't seem to get it to what I want. Gah. Oh, well, I hope you guys like this chapter, it's a little bit different than my usual stuff. I'm going away to Halifax next week with my sister so my next update will probbaly be in a week or so.**

**Thank you so much to my reviewers, you guys are wonderful!  
**

**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**ChocolateMilkLOL**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Light-Sakura**

**Lord Siravant**

**Any suggestions or feedback on this story is greatly encouraged! Don't be afraid to tell me what you think no matter what it is. I try my best to listen to my reviewers as I'm trying to improve my writing. So the conclusion is:Please Read and Review!  
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**Ballad of the Postman**

Haunting

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The Postman could hear something loud and persistent in his ear and rolled over in his sleep. Whatever it was got even more determined and loud and despite himself, The Postman began to wake.

"_Jihiro! Wake up you stupid ass! I know you can hear me! Jihiro!_"

The Postman really didn't want to wake but with the nagging voice in his ear, he really had no choice. As he slowly began to become more alert, there were two things he noticed. One was that there was indeed someone speaking into his ear and the second was that the voice was extremely unwelcome. Waking in a slight panic, he lashed out with both his feet and knocked his two brothers out of the bed. As they crashed hard to the floor, The Postman looked wildly all around but the room was empty. He was still at his parents house and there was no one speaking to him. His brothers looked up at him from the floor, both indignant and angry.

The Postman gave them a sheepish smile. "...sorry. Bad dream."

Neither said a word but gave him twin looks of death as they crawled back into the bed. As they settled down again, The Postman gave another uncertain look around the room. Still seeing and hearing nothing, he hesitantly laid down again. The silence persisted so finally he rolled over to go back to sleep. Just as he was drifting off, the voice started again, this time ten times as loud.

"_JIHIRO_!"

The Postman visibly jumped and instinctively thrashed out again. The room was as empty and silent as before, no sign of where the voice had come from. His brothers crashed to the floor a second time and this time they weren't quite as forgiving. Jaru narrowed his eyes as The Postman gave him an apologetic smile.

"Er...bad dream again..." he said lamely.

"Out!" Haru snarled, pointing to the door. "Go sleep with the girls! Go sleep beside the dog; I don't care! Out!"

Jaru mirrored his twin's scowl so The Postman slipped out of the bed, feeling rather foolish. As he made his way to the door, he gave them one more sheepish look.

"Sorry."

"OUT!"

The Postman left the room without another word, closing the door after him. He could hear Haru and Jaru complaining to each other about him through the door and rubbed at his eyes with a frown. What was wrong with him? He didn't usually have dreams that woke him and never ones that seemed as real as that.

Instead of finding somewhere else to sleep, The Postman walked down the dark hallway and left the house. Sitting on the porch swing, he looked up at the sky and let out a sigh. Perhaps his mother was right, maybe he had been working too hard lately. Swinging slowly, he leaned back and gave a long lazy stretch as he gazed up at the stars. It was extremely late, well after midnight and The Postman wasn't used to being up so late. He was an early riser and normally slept like a rock until five so it was very unusual that he woke through the night. Giving a yawn, The Postman laid his head on the back of the swing, his eyes feeling heavy. They had barely even closed when the voice started again.

"_Wake up and help me, you stupid ass! Wake. Up!_"

The Postman jumped and lashed out, opening his eyes just in time to see his foot pass through Sakon's head. The Postman blinked in both surprise and confusion and Sakon looked completely indignant.

"_Would __please__ stop kicking me in the head!_" he cried out, his voice sounding strange and far off. "_Get off your lazy butt and help me!" _

The Postman simply stared at him and Sakon quickly noticed The Postman was looking at him and not through him.

"_You can see me?_" Sakon cried out hopefully. "_You can really see me?"_

Before The Postman could formulate any sort of response, Sakon faded and he was alone once more. Rubbing at his eyes, The Postman frowned, gazing around the dark porch, the only sound crickets chirping, the normal sort of quiet for the country. He sat a long while, unsure if he had really seen anything at all, then stood to go back into the house. He obviously was overtired and needed his rest so he let out a sigh, wondering which sibling he'd bunk with.

As he walked down the dark hallway, he felt his skin prickle, feeling eyes on his back. Looking over his shoulder, there was no one there. Now feeling a bit uncertain, The Postman continued through the house until he reached his youngest siblings bedroom, unable to help feeling a bit creeped out. Opening the door to the room, he saw his two youngest siblings sound asleep and gave a shiver, still feeling like he was being watched. Tired and sure he was imagining things, he approached the bed and shoved his two sisters to one side and laid down beside them. The girls lobbed a bit but didn't wake, both being heavy sleepers. His skin was still prickling so he pulled the covers up over his head, hoping to fall asleep.

The only sound in the room was the snoring coming from beside him, so after a bit he began to relax. As he fell asleep, he thought he heard the words '_you ass!_' but was sure he imagined it.

The next time The Postman woke, it was because his sister Minoko jumped hard on his back.

"Breakfast!" Minoko yelled into his ear, springing away before he could retaliate.

The Postman let out a groan and looked up, Minoko already long gone. The room was empty and the smell of bacon filled the house so he knew he'd overslept. He never overslept, especially not on important days like this! Sitting up, he gave a stretch, feeling well rested and hoped he wouldn't have any more hallucinations.

Slowly making his way towards the kitchen, he rubbed at his eyes, wondering what time it was. His entire family was seated around the long table, laughing and eating breakfast and The Postman immediately froze in the doorway. It wasn't the sight of his family that shocked him, it was the sight of Sakon laying in the middle of the table, limbs sprawled in all directions. He looked almost solid but his hands and feet went straight through the dishes and food on the table, making the entire scene incredibly bizarre. He was staring up at the ceiling, singing a dirty tavern song and The Postman could only stare. No one else seemed to notice Sakon, and never paused in their conversations, reaching straight through the thief in order to eat.

"There you are, sweetheart!" His mother called over to him. "I was beginning to think you were going to sleep all morning!"

The Postman didn't answer, simply staring at Sakon.

"Sweetheart?" His mother questioned. "Come have breakfast."

The Postman gave a gulp, unable to look away from the thief who sang on, incredibly loud and off-key. He edged his way over to the table and took a seat between the twins, still not saying a word. Sakon's hand rested on his empty plate and The Postman stared at it, unable to believe he was the only one who could see this. Just how over-worked was he? He sat in silence for a few minutes, feeling very awkward before his mother noticed he wasn't eating.

"Jihiro, eat something." she urged. "It's going to be a long day."

At The Postman's name, Sakon looked up and their eyes met. The thief's eyes widened and he hurriedly sat up.

"_Can you see me?_" he demanded. "_You're looking at me, aren't you!"_

The Postman quickly averted his gaze. His hallucination was talking to him; that wasn't a good sign. Sakon leaned forward until they were almost nose to nose and stared at him, sure he wasn't mistaken.

"_Hello?_" Sakon questioned. "HelloOoOo! Can you hear me?"

The Postman continued staring down at his plate in silence. Sakon frowned at him, wondering if he was mistaken.

"Jihiro?" The Postman's mother asked, approaching. "What's the matter?"

She laid her hand against his forehead then gave him a questioning look. "Haru told me about your nightmares last night. Are you not feeling well?"

"I'm fine." The Postman answered, not entirely sure that he was.

"I told you, you're working too hard!" she admonished. "Eat something."

Taking his plate, she filled it and placed it back in front of him as The Postman's eyes flicked up to Sakon again. He quickly looked away but his action wasn't missed by the thief.

"_Aha!_" the thief cried. "_You __can__ see me, can't you?_"

The Postman didn't answer, hoping he'd snap out of it soon. Turning his attention to his plate of food, he tried to remain casual as he picked up his fork. Sakon narrowed his eyes at him and edged closer, now sitting directly on The Postman's plate.

"_Go ahead!_" he challenged. "_Eat!_"

The Postman hesitated then set down his fork, still looking anywhere but at him.

"_Why won't you speak to me?_" Sakon yelled into his face. "_Why won't you look at me? I know you can hear me!_"

The Postman clenched his fists and stared down into his lap without a word. Conversations buzzed around him like a wall of unintelligible noise and The Postman closed his eyes, hoping to will his delusions away. Sakon frowned at him and leaned over and whispered into his ear.

"_This morning I watched your sisters get dressed. The one with the big boobs has a birthmark on her-_"

"**WHAT?**" The Postman yelled, jumping to his feet.

Everyone stopped eating in surprise and simply stared at him as Sakon gave a happy cheer.

"_I __knew__ you could hear me!" _he cried out triumphantly. "_I knew it!"_

The Postman gazed around the table at his family then gave a slight cough. "Um...have to go to the bathroom...be right back."

Without another word, he fled the room. His family exchanged looks of slight confusion then resumed their conversations like nothing had happened.

The Postman left the house by the back door and crossed the field. When he came to the fence which ended his family's property, he leaned against it, wondering what was wrong with him. He couldn't be this overworked, could he? Since when did overworked people see delusions this realistic? He didn't even feel tired! Sakon who had followed after him, sat on top of the fence.

"_Why won't you talk to me?_" he demanded, sounding a little hurt. "_I know you can see me!_"

"Because you're not real!" The Postman hissed out, looking away from him.

Sakon seemed a bit confused before realization crossed his face. "_You think you're imagining me?_" he asked. "_You think this isn't really happening?"_

When The Postman said nothing, that was all the answer Sakon needed.

"_Darling, don't be stupid!_" he scolded. "_You could never imagine anything as handsome as me! Your dreams probably all consist of boring things anyway, like stamps or something." _

The Postman let out an irritated sigh. "Please go away."

"_No, I will not 'go away', you twat! You're the only person who can see and hear me!"_

The Postman picked at the fence with his nails, feeling frustrated and confused. Trying his best to ignore the thief, he instead turned his attention down to the tall grass of the field which was tickling his bare legs. He was sure if he distracted his mind and just thought of other things, Sakon would fade and disappear. Watching a caterpillar edge towards his leg, he frowned and really hoped he wasn't losing his mind.

"_If you don't stop ignoring me, I'm going to go back in the house and watch the rest of your sisters get dressed!_"

"It doesn't matter." The Postman stated dismissively. "You're not real anyway."

Sakon let out a growl of frustration. "_I'm real, you stupid oaf! I'm __not __just in your mind!_"

The Postman's brown eyes lifted to meet Sakon's. "Prove it."

Sakon hesitated, knowing he couldn't move or touch anything. "_Um...I can't._" he admitted.

The Postman let out a snort and turned away. "Go away." he repeated_._

Sakon floated around so he was back in The Postman's field of vision. "_Just how many other delusions do you have that you think I'm one of them?_" he demanded.

The Postman wouldn't meet his gaze. "You're the first one." he responded.

"_If you're not normally crazy, why do you think I'm a delusion?_" Sakon asked_, _furrowing his brow. "_Why not just listen to me?"_

"I'm just overworked." The Postman answered, heading back towards the house. "You'll fade soon enough."

"_Ugh_." Sakon muttered, following after him. "_I don't know how I got like this, but I'm real! I think someone put something in my canteen. After I drank it, __this__ happened."_

"Then what are you exactly_?_" The Postman demanded, reaching a hand out towards the thief. The hand passed right through him like he wasn't even there. "Are you the delusion of a ghost_?_"

"_I'm not a delusion!_" Sakon yelled. "_And I'm not a ghost either! I __know__ I'm still alive!_"

"I'm going to ignore you now." The Postman informed him. "I don't need my family thinking I've completely lost it."

"_Why are you all here together anyway? Kinda crowded isn't it?_" Sakon asked. "_Is it a reunion or something?"_

"Today's Haru's wedding." The Postman replied. "Now please be quiet."

Sakon scowled at him. "_I will not! My body's rotting in a Gerudo dungeon and you're going to save me!_"

The Postman glanced at him but said nothing.

"_You'd seriously rather attend lard-ass's wedding than save my life?_" Sakon cried out indignantly. "_Don't you understand I could die if you don't save me?"_

The Postman seemed uncomfortable and averted his gaze.

Sakon narrowed his eyes. "_Well, that's just lovely of you!_" he snapped. "_You're a real hero, you know that?_"

The Postman pretended he didn't hear him.

"_I thought we were friends!_" Sakon yelled at him. "_Go save me, you stupid ass!_"

The Postman continued walking without a word, looking determinedly ahead.

Sakon floated directly in front of him. "_Listen to me!_" he ordered angrily. "_Stop being so stubborn and listen to me!"_

The Postman walked right through Sakon like he wasn't even there. Completely infuriated, Sakon let out a growl and again flew in front of him.

"_This is real!_" he yelled. "_I'm really in danger and you really are seeing me!"_

Again, The Postman passed right through him without looking at him or acknowledging him in any way.

"_Fine_." Sakon snapped. "_If that's how you want it to be, then I will make your life absolutely miserable until you listen to me!"_

The Postman opened the backdoor of the house silently, his gaze fixedly ahead. The moment he entered the house, he was immediately in the middle of complete chaos. All twelve of his siblings were running to and fro getting ready for the wedding, several only half dressed and almost everyone was yelling at one another. Clothes were being thrown every which way in a flurry of colours and The Postman noted the noise drowned Sakon out nicely.

The Postman pushed his way through his siblings to get to his own dress-clothes and ignored Sakon completely as he got dressed. Everyone seemed to have forgotten about his weird moment at breakfast and no one gave him so much as a second glance as he shoved his way towards the kitchen. He was disappointed that the breakfast was already cleared, and hoped the food at the reception would be good. His father was standing on the other side of the table, helping one of his brothers with his tie and glanced over at him.

"Your mother has her hands full dealing with the caterers and baker. Apparently the wedding cake was missing a layer and she's completely beside herself. Would you please help the younger ones get ready?"

Without a word, The Postman nodded and turned to do as he was told. He found Minoko running up the hall in just a slip, getting in everyone's way so he took her by the hand and pulled her back into her room.

"Why aren't you dressed?" he demanded. "We have to leave soon."

Minoko gave him a sour look. "Why do I have to wear a dress?" she demanded. "Kal isn't wearing one!"

"Kal is a boy." The Postman pointed out. "And I really doubt Haru would appreciate the flower girl wearing a tux."

Minoko gave the frilly dress on her bed a dirty look but did reluctantly pick it up. Sighing, she pulled it over her head and The Postman helped her zip it up as another one of his younger sisters came in.

"Will you help me with my hair?" she asked. "Everyone else is too busy."

Sakon, who was seated cross-legged in the air watching, gave a snicker. "_Aw, you're gonna be such a good mummy someday_!"

Ignoring him, The Postman nodded and reached out to take the brush and hair ribbon from her. Minoko, whose hair was still short from when she'd massacred it, made quick on her escape and ran back out into the crowded hallway. The Postman looked down at Kari, his second youngest sibling, as she took a seat on a stool expectantly.

"I want it braided." she informed him. "Hylian-style."

Still not saying anything, he set to work on her hair as Sakon sang obnoxiously, floating just above his head. After a few minutes, Sakon peered down at them and frowned.

"_Do I even want to know how the heck you know what a Hylian-braid is?" _he asked. "_Or question the fact you actually know how to do one?_"

The Postman continued braiding the hair, not giving any indication he had heard. When he was finished, he tied the ribbon neatly and Kari gave him a grin.

"Thank you, brother." she said, looking in the mirror. "Why are you being so quiet? Is anything wrong?"

The Postman gave a glance to Sakon. How would he explain to an eleven year old that he had lost his mind and was hallucinating that he was being harassed by a villain? Giving her a smile instead, he replied.

"I'm fine, just excited for the wedding."

"_Liar._" Sakon commented.

Kari gave him a skeptical look but accepted the answer as she stood to her feet. As she hurried out of the room, The Postman caught sight of his youngest brother, tie askance and hair mussed, and stood to go after him.

Eventually, the complete family looked presentable and they made their way outside where the entire front yard had been converted for the wedding. Many of the guests had already shown up and were mingling with one another and The Postman could see his mother in a huge argument with the baker. They were both pointing at the wedding cake and the baker's face was purple with fury. He wasn't sure who was winning the fight but knew he didn't want to be anywhere near. Standing near the front steps, he watched the crowds in silence, as Sakon floated above him, singing loudly. After a few minutes, his family gathered around, getting ready for the ceremony to start and Haru approached him. He gave him a grin, both nervous and excited.

"So, you mad that I beat you to getting married?" he asked jokingly.

"_You'll never get married because you're gay_." Sakon stated, placing himself between the two brothers. "_Your family would never accept it. They're way too traditional, that's why you're in such denial!_"

"No, of course not." The Postman replied to Haru giving him a somewhat strained smile. He looked like he wanted very much to respond to Sakon but stubbornly said nothing.

"I can't believe that in just a few minutes I'll be a married man!" Haru exclaimed. "It doesn't even seem real! I wonder if you'll get married someday too?"

Sakon gave him a nasty look, determined to make The Postman react and continued standing between them. "_Are you worried they'll disown you?" _he demanded. "_That they'll pretend you never existed, that the family was as unchanged as ever? You refuse to admit it because you're afraid!_"

"I'm not gay." The Postman snapped, glaring at the thief.

Haru gave him an odd look. "Um...I never said you were..."

Sakon gave him a cheeky grin. "_Better be careful, darling or they might think you're crazy or something."_

"Nevermind..." The Postman said, as Sakon continued his dirty tavern song.

Haru said something else but The Postman couldn't hear him over Sakon's singing. Haru took a step through the thief and repeated his question but The Postman still couldn't hear him. Sakon only sung louder and louder, his eyes sparkling in mischief and The Postman began to get frustrated. Haru was giving him a concerned look and continued speaking to him but The Postman couldn't make out a word of what was said. Sakon then began making his own lyrics, adding members of The Postman's family as he bellowed out line after line and The Postman clenched his fists. When Sakon began crudely singing about The Postman's mother, he couldn't take it anymore.

"Shut up!" he bellowed out absolutely livid. "Shut the hell up, you stupid ass! Just shut up!"

The Postman didn't realize his mother was just behind him and she had him by the ear in an instant. "What did you just say to your brother?" she demanded angrily.

"Ow!" The Postman protested as she gave his ear a twist. "No, I wasn't-ow!"

"You do not use that sort of language in this household! You know better than that!" she yelled, giving his ear another pull.

"Ah, but I wasn't talking to-"

"If for one second you think you're too old for me to take a switch to, then you're in for a surprise! I don't know what's come over you!" she snapped, finally releasing his ear. "Now apologize to your brother."

Sakon was laughing hysterically, holding his sides as he rolled on the ground. _"By the goddesses your mum is funny!_" he commented through giggles. "_Does __this__ ever bring back memories!_"

The Postman rubbed at his ear, his face completely scarlet as his entire family stared at him. Turning his gaze to Haru, he saw his brother didn't look angry, simply confused.

"Sorry, Haru." The Postman told him. "I don't know what came over me..."

Haru obviously didn't know what to say and gave him a nod, still looking confused and a bit uncertain. The rest of his family had never seen him have such outbursts before this morning and he'd had two!

"Okay, now if we're done with the drama, let's get started." his mother stated. "Those in the wedding stay here and the rest of you go take your seats."

Giving Sakon his best look of death, The Postman followed the others to the front row of chairs and took his seat. Sakon was still giggling and took a seat just in front of The Postman, floating in the air, legs crossed.

"_Will you listen to me now or do you just want to continue acting like a crazy person?_" Sakon asked casually. "_You're not imagining me! I'm real and if you don't stop ignoring me, I'm really going to do something you won't like!_"

The Postman stared straight ahead and didn't react to him in the least. He couldn't believe his hallucinations were lasting this long. Sakon wasn't fading or disappearing like before and if anything, he looked more and more solid. He knew if he didn't snap out of it soon, he'd have to look for some kind of help. He wasn't sure if he was just overtired and whether there was something seriously wrong with him. Normal people didn't have obnoxious delusions.

"_Fine_." Sakon said with a shrug. "_Suit yourself, but don't blame me later for this!_"

Sakon floated a few feet away and stuck his hands into The Postman's sister's breasts. The Postman quickly looked away and clenched the armrests of his chair, trying to suppress his anger. It did no good to get angry at a hallucination but he couldn't help it. No matter how hard he tried to remind himself it wasn't real, all he could see was Sakon acting like a pervert. Sakon continued touching his family members in inappropriate places all while giving loud commentary on what he was doing. Although he wasn't looking, The Postman still felt himself getting more and more furious.

He couldn't concentrate on the wedding at all and didn't even notice when Haru passed by him on the way to the front. Sakon let out a loud, dirty sounding moan and The Postman bit his lip, refusing to look. The flower girls passed him and he didn't even notice when Minoko purposely threw a handful of the flowers at him, his attention entirely on trying to will Sakon away.

It was the sound of the bridal music that made him look up and he saw Anju walking up the aisle dressed in a wedding gown of gold and white, her auburn hair pulled up and held by silver beads, tiny flowers throughout her hair. The crowd whispered excitedly as she walked up the aisle and The Postman, just for a moment, forgot about Sakon. He looked up at his brother and saw the absolute joy in his eyes at the sight of his soon to be wife and gave a smile. He was glad Haru found someone and hoped they'd be happy together.

"_Whoa_!" Sakon exclaimed at the sight of Anju. "_Why is something like __that__ marrying lunkhead?_"

Predictably, The Postman didn't answer, watching as his brother reached out and took Anju by the hands. They both gave one another a shy smile then looked towards the priest. Sakon, his eyes entirely on Anju, floated over and peered down the front of her dress.

"_She has nice boobs too, although a little small for my taste_!" he called over to The Postman who had visibly gone rigid.

Sakon gave him a nasty grin and lowered himself down to the ground so he could attempt to look up her gown. Anju, none the wiser, gave Haru a smile and squeezed his hand as Sakon gave a whistle.

"_Too bad she's pregnant_." he commented with a sigh. "_She's going to be all flabby once the baby is born. I wonder if I stand a chance with her...?_"

The Postman bit his lip until he tasted blood, fighting not to react. Sakon slowly stood to his feet and placed himself between Anju and Haru and leaned forward to kiss her. His lips passed right through her but none of that mattered to Sakon. He let out a moan then straightened, reaching a hand into her stomach in a violent gesture.

"_Oops? Did I just hit the baby?_" he questioned in a surprised tone. "_I hope that won't cause any damage!"_

Unable to stop himself, The Postman jumped to his feet and let out a howl of outrage. He screamed every obscenity he knew at Sakon, then froze when he realized what he'd done. Slowly looking around himself, he saw every single person at the wedding was staring at him in shock, slack-jawed and completely horrified. The Postman gulped and turned his gaze to Haru who looked like someone had just struck him. He was staring at The Postman with an unreadable expression and Anju had raised her hands to her mouth in complete shock.

Sakon was staring at him triumphantly and The Postman slowly backed away into the aisle.

"..sorry." he said softly. "I have to go."

Then without another word, he fled. He ran as fast as he could across the field and then into the neighbours land. He kept going and going until finally he heard Sakon's voice in his ear.

"_Stop running like this, you're going to kill yourself! Slow down_!"

The Postman didn't even question how Sakon was able to keep up with him, just pushing himself harder and harder over the fields.

"_Look, I'm sorry, okay_?" Sakon said again in his ear. "_I didn't really mean any of those things I said and did but you need to listen to me. I need your help and you're the only one who can help me."_

The Postman came to an abrupt halt and Sakon went right through him, unable to stop as fast.

"Why are you doing this to me!" The Postman yelled. "I'm not crazy! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not crazy! Just leave me alone!"

Sakon made an impatient sound in the back of his throat. "_That's what I've been telling you, darling. I'm really here and you need to go to The Gerudo City to save me. Why won't you believe me?_"

"Because you're not real!" The Postman yelled back. "I've been working too hard and you're some sort of manifestation of that!"

"_Of all the things you've seen in your life, the adventures and oddities, why is __this __any different?_" Sakon demanded. "_If you don't save me, I could die! Do you really want that to happen?"_

The Postman visibly slumped and stared down at the ground. "Okay." he said quietly. "If this is what my delusions are ordering me to do, then I will do it. Maybe when I see the truth, you'll disappear."

Sakon rolled his eyes. "Good enough for me."

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**A big thank you to Reiz16 who gave me the idea of having The Postman genuinely lose his temper at Sakon. The Postman is a pretty easy-going guy but even he has his buttons and Sakon knows exactly how to press them!**

**Reviews make the author happy!**


	3. The Retrieval

**Authornote:  
**

**Hello, everyone, so so sorry for the two week gap between updates! If you read the authornote i posted as chapter 3 a few days ago then you know exactly why. So I have re-written this chapter from memory so I know it won't be as good as what i had originally written. I hope you guys like this one as it's quite long!  
**

**Thank you guys for such encouraging words and i really appreciate it!  
**

**A big thank you goes to my reviewers:**

**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**Nocturne of Eclipse**

**Light-Sakura**

**ChocolateMilkLOL **

**KrystonDavenport**

**I'll try to get the next chapter out a lot faster than this one! If any of you have any suggestions, feedback or critique, don't be afraid to leave me a review! (BTW, there may or may not be a few typos because after writing an 18 page chapter twice, i was only up for proofreading it once! lol) I hope you enjoy!  
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**Ballad of The Postman **

**The Retrieval  
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The Postman ran across the fields of Termina silently, looking out of place among all the green, dressed in the black of his dress clothes. His expression was strained as he kept his eyes straight ahead, refusing to look at or acknowledge Sakon in the least. At first Sakon had tried speaking with him but when it became clear The Postman wasn't going to answer, he fell silent. The Postman ran for hours as fast as he could before he finally slowed down to catch his breath. Considerably calmer than he'd been before, he regarded Sakon as the thief floated lazily beside him. Sakon stared back at him, wondering if he'd permanently traumatized him.

"Alright," The Postman stated. "If I'm to believe you're a ghost, then explain a few things to me."

"_Fine_." Sakon replied. "_What do you want to know?_"

"Why was Ganondorf after you this time?" he demanded.

Sakon gave him an incredulous look. "_Stealing. Duh_."

That seemed like a completely plausible reason so The Postman accepted it without question.

"And what do you want me to do?" The Postman asked. "I don't know anything about curses and magic."

Sakon gave him a roll of the eyes and crossed his arms. "_You're the only one who can see and hear me; you have to save me! We'll figure out the rest later!"_

"I'm not a hero, Sakon, I'm a postman. This is more Link's area of expertise."

"_Don't you think I know that?_" Sakon cried out. "_Believe me, you were the last person I came to! A postman isn't exactly my idea of a hero. Link couldn't see or hear me so you're all I've got!"_

"Well, I'm still not even sure I believe you." The Postman informed him.

"_You'll see soon enough_." Sakon responded. "_Then you'll feel like a dumbass_."

The Postman narrowed his eyes, the memories of the what happened at the wedding still all too fresh. "If this is real, then I'm never delivering your mail again."

"_Fair enough_."

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Ganondorf wiped the sweat from his eyes and gave a vicious lunge at one of his shadow monsters. He had made these shadows much faster than his usual opponents and was having trouble catching them. He had gotten the idea to train against speed from his previous encounter with The Postman and realized he was at certain disadvantages. Already he was seeing a vast improvement over his agility and reaction time and wondered how he would fare against Link if they were to meet again.

Pausing for a moment to catch his breath, he leaned against his sword, watching the shadow monsters circle him mockingly. He loved difficult training and it had put him into a considerably good mood. He felt more relaxed then he had in a long time and was glad he didn't have anything at the moment to worry about.

The Gerudos hadn't been able to find him a replacement thief as of yet as he'd rejected every single one they'd brought before him. Sakon had been an excellent thief when he put his mind to it and Ganondorf couldn't help but compare all of them to him. None were anywhere near as talented when it came to general sliminess and lockpicking and Ganondorf only wanted the best of the best.

He knew there had to be a creature shady and underhanded enough for his liking but the search was slow. He didn't really need a thief at the moment, so for the time being, he was content.

Lifting his sword, Ganondorf took one more deep breath then charged at one of the monsters.

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They could feel the desert air before they even passed through the canyon. The heat hit them in face in a hot blast and The Postman blinked hard but didn't slow down. Sakon however gave a dramatic moan, trying to get some attention.

"_Ugh, no wonder Ganondorf wants to take over the world." _he commented_. "His country really sucks."_

The Postman glanced over at him thoughtfully. "I thought you couldn't feel anything?" The Postman asked curiously, passing a hand through the thief's chest. "How could you be hot?"

"_No, no, no_." Sakon corrected, shaking his head. "_Other__ people can't feel me when they touch me but I can still feel it."_

The Postman quickly retracted his hand.

"_It doesn't hurt_." Sakon assured him with a grin. "_I may not be able to touch anything but I still feel it when I pass through things. It feels kind of weird_."

They crossed the bridge leading into Gerudo territory and when Sakon saw The Postman wasn't slowing down and was going to take the direct route, he became alarmed.

"_Wait a second!_" Sakon cried. "_Are you crazy? You can't just march into the Gerudo City!"_

The Postman didn't slow down. "Why?"

"_You're a __man__ unless you've forgotten due to your lack of a love-life. Gerudos __hate__ men, __all__ men. I know you used to work for tall, dark and ugly but things have changed now."_

"Sakon, I'll be fine."

Sakon floated directly in front of him in an attempt to stop him. "_They'll just kill you and then I__'ll__ die! I need you alive!_"

The Postman stepped around him, not wanting to walk through him now that he knew Sakon could feel it. "That's very considerate of you." he commented. "But I just want to get this over with as fast as possible. If I'm crazy you can haunt me until I'm committed but if I'm not then I'll rescue you. I promise."

Sakon let out a frustrated sigh and again tried to block the way. "_What are you going to do once you rescue me anyway?_" he demanded.

The Postman stepped around him again. "I'm going back to the wedding. The celebrations are supposed to go on until morning then my brother leaves on his honeymoon."

Sakon raised an eyebrow. "_Um, no offense, darling, but I think he probably revoked your wedding invitation."_

The Postman's shoulder's slumped slightly but he still levelled the thief with a glare. "I'm holding you entirely responsible, you know, and I'm going to explain to him why his wedding was ruined."

Sakon gave an indifferent shrug. "_Meh. Fine with me, lunkhead doesn't like me anyway_."

The Gerudo fortress came into view and the guards posted saw The Postman approaching but didn't so much as move, their expressions disinterested. As he got closer, the guards posted at the desert gate stared at him a long moment, taking in his strange clothing in very vague curiosity. They didn't seem overly concerned with him and their weapons remained sheathed.

"Do you have a letter for someone, postman?" one of the guards asked him. "I've been expecting a letter from my cousin from Great Bay."

The Postman shook his head, stopping just in front of them. "No, miss, I'm here on other business."

"_You're being too nice_." Sakon commented. "_Gerudo's like tough manly men. Flirt with her a little and she'll move_."

The Postman gave Sakon an incredulous look. He could just imagine how that situation would turn out.

"If you're not here as a postman, then you're here to see Lord Ganondorf?" the Gerudo questioned.

The Postman gave a nod. "Yes, miss."

The guards all exchanged a look and the one he'd been speaking with thus far gave him a shrug.

"It's your funeral." she commented. "Not that we'd give you one anyway..."

She paused to look him over again. "Although you do seem to be dressed for it...You can do what you want. I don't care."

Without another word, the Gerudo stepped out of his way and gestured towards the open gate leading into the desert. As The Postman passed the guards by, Sakon had a look of astonishment on his face.

"_How come they let you just pass right through_?" he asked. "_Every time I come here, no less than three Gerudos try to stab me with something! They're not even escorting you_!"

The Postman imagined there was probably a very good reason that Sakon was treated differently but didn't say what was on his mind. As he crossed the short distance to the hidden Gerudo City, he couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive. He really hoped what he'd been seeing all day really was Sakon and not a delusion. Once he got to the castle, he'd find out for sure.

The yellow sand of the desert clung to his black pants as he crossed dune after dune. Sakon commented he was beginning to look a bit like a bumblebee but he paid him no mind. By the time he reached the city, he was absolutely plastered with sand and because he wasn't wearing his hat, his brown hair was sticking up in every direction from the desert wind. The Gerudos peered out of their houses at him curiously, never having seen him looking so dishevelled. No one really bothered him as he pushed his way through the crowded market and again Sakon was indignant.

"_What's up with this?_" he demanded. "_When I pass through here, the crowds hit me and throws things at me! I'm nothing but bruises by the time I get to the castle! They're not even sneering at you!"_

"They're used to me." The Postman answered distractedly.

"_They probably think you're a girl._"

The Postman didn't dignify that with a response, simply rolling his eyes.

"_Or maybe it's because you have the sexual appeal of a rock._ _Either way makes sense I suppose._"

Only a few minutes later, he reached the castle and began up the stairs, Sakon floating above his head, eager to get inside. The guards posted at the door gave The Postman a questioning look but made no move to stop him as he pushed open the doors. They both gave a shrug and resumed their former position without a single word. Once the doors were closed behind them, Sakon looked down at him.

"_Worst guards ever_." he commented. "_When I'm rich and wonderful, remind me not to hire Gerudos._"

"Noted." The Postman responded.

"_Okay, I'm in the dungeon_." Sakon said, starting to float down the hall. "_I hope they left the cell door unlocked_."

The Postman started walking down the opposite hall without a word. Sakon paused then quickly floated to catch up with him.

"_Where are you going_?" he demanded. "_Go rescue me!"_

"I'm going to speak with Mr. Ganondorf first." The Postman answered.

"._..what_?" Sakon asked, sure he'd misheard.

"If you're in the dungeon then you're his prisoner." The Postman pointed out. "I won't steal your body from him without his permission."

"_It's not stealing if you ask permission, darling_." Sakon pointed out. "_And do you really think Ganondorf isn't going to just stab you the minute he sees you? He'll either kill you or throw you in the dungeon to be beaten just like me."_

"I'm not taking it without asking first. Last time I released you, it didn't end very well for me."

"_Boo hoo, get over it, you're alive aren't you_?" Sakon snapped. "_And I need to __keep__ you alive despite your stupidness. Just take my body and sneak it out."_

"No." The Postman responded, continuing down the hall.

"_Ugh, fine, but you better be ready to dodge any fireballs he throws at you!_" Sakon groused, crossing his arms petulantly.

To Sakon's surprise, The Postman passed right by Ganondorf's throne room and continued up the hall.

"_Um, wasn't that his throne room...?_" Sakon questioned uncertainly, wondering if he'd gotten himself mixed up in the maze-like castle as he had many times before.

"It is." The Postman confirmed.

"_Then where are we going?_" Sakon asked as they started up a flight of stairs. "_We don't exactly have time for side-quests at the moment_."

"Mr. Ganondorf's not in his throne room, he's in his training room." The Postman answered.

Sakon let out a gasp and threw himself in front of The Postman flinging his arms wide to stop him. "_You can't interrupt him there!_" he cried. "_He's probably in there slaughtering orphans or something! He really __will__ stab you! It's probably some sort of unspoken rule of his!_"

The Postman gave him a skeptical look. "He's never been too angry at me for all the other times I've interrupted his orphan slaying."

Sakon's eyes widened like saucers as The Postman edged by him to continue up the stairs.

"_WHAT?_" Sakon cried. "_Are you serious_?"

The Postman simply kept walking up the stairs without a word.

"_He really __does__ slaughter little orphans?_!"

Sakon quickly floated after him and stared him right in the face with a frown then he faltered. _"No, you're joking!_" he exclaimed in surprise. "_You actually just told a joke! You must have a fever or something!"_

The Postman rolled his eyes.

"_I need you alive! You don't understand how real men get when they're around weapons when they train. They're so full of testosterone and hormones that when angered they lash out in a furious bloodlust and kill everybody and everything_!" Sakon yelled, throwing his arms up dramatically. "_If you step foot in there, he'll run you through without even looking to see who you are!_"

"Sakon, I'll be fine."

Once more, Sakon threw his arms out, trying to stop him. "_No, you won't! You have the common sense of a housefly!" _He protested_. "Ganondorf is a villain. Villains are bad. Bad people kill other people. You're what is considered 'other people'. Do you see where I'm going with this?_"

The Postman had no choice and walked through Sakon, starting up another staircase without a word.

Sakon let out a frustrated sigh. _"I can't help you if anything goes wrong._" he stated. "_Just don't do anything stupid_."

When The Postman reached the tops of the stairs, he approached a large set of double doors and reached out a hand to knock. The sound echoed loudly within and there was a pause before Ganondorf responded.

"Enter."

"Don't do it!" Sakon warned. "It's a trap! He's probably waiting on the other side sword drawn!"

The Postman gave him a 'look' and slowly pushed open the door. Ganondorf did in fact have his sword drawn but it wasn't to kill him with, it was because he was still in combat with one of the shadow monsters. He was in the centre of the room, red hair mussed, shirt soaked with sweat and was breathing heavily, obviously having been training for quite some time. When his eyes fell on The Postman, he paused and slowly lowered his sword.

Ganondorf stared at him in slight puzzlement, taking in the other man's appearance and couldn't remember ever seeing him so dishevelled. The Postman was always neat and clean but by the way he appeared now looked like he'd had a tumble down a mountainside. Ganondorf sheathed his sword and turned to face him. Frowning, he began approaching.

"_Duck! Run! Dodge!_" Sakon yelled at him. "_He's coming at you_!"

The Postman didn't dodge or run, nor did he so much as flinch when Ganondorf reached out and grabbed him by the front of the shirt. Ganondorf lifted him up so they were face to face and narrowed his eyes at the smaller man.

"Today is Sunday." The Gerudo stated. "If my memory serves me correctly, there is no mail on Sundays."

"I'm not here for a delivery, sir, I came to see you."

Ganondorf turned him one way then the other, taking in the strange clothes in curiosity. "Why are you dressed like this?" he demanded. "Is this the new postal uniform?"

"No, sir, I was at my brother's wedding."

Ganondorf raised an eyebrow. "I see." he responded, dropping him to the floor. "And why did you come here? You are trespassing, postman."

Ganondorf said it calmly, but both The Postman and Sakon could detect the underlying warning within.

"_Run_!" Sakon tried again. "_He won't expect it!"_

The Postman watched as Ganondorf wiped some sweat from his brow and decided to just take the direct approach. "I came for Sakon, sir."

Ganondorf hesitated. "Sakon?"

The Postman nodded. "Yes, sir."

Ganondorf stared down at The Postman a long moment before responding. "Sakon is two days dead, postman. You won't want him."

"_See? I told you_!" Sakon said with a cocky grin.

The Postman released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and felt a heavy tension lift from his shoulders. He wasn't crazy and overworked, Sakon really was there. The thief really had been haunting him. Remembering that Sakon had violated over half of his family at the wedding and also caused him to ruin said wedding, The Postman gave Sakon a glare. He was very tempted to just leave Sakon to his fate but knew he couldn't do that. Sakon knew exactly what was on The Postman's mind and batted his eyelashes at him innocently.

Turning his gaze to Ganondorf, The Postman took a step closer to the Gerudo. "I do still want him, sir. May I please have your permission to take his body?"

Ganondorf didn't bother asking The Postman how he knew about Sakon in the first place, used to other man's strangeness. Questioning The Postman only led to frustration and Ganondorf didn't feel like dealing with it. It was easier just to ignore it.

Ganondorf stared down at The Postman with a frown who stared right back earnestly.

"You really want the rotting corpse of the thief?" he asked.

The Postman nodded. "Yes, sir."

Ganondorf furrowed his brow. "Why?" he demanded.

"He was my friend, sir and I want to take him home."

Once more, Ganondorf frowned down at him. "You're such a loyal little thing." he commented. "You even give loyalty to those who don't deserve it."

"_Hey!_" Sakon protested angrily.

"Please, sir" The Postman requested. "I won't take him without your permission."

Without warning, Ganondorf reached out and grabbed The Postman by the neck. The Postman immediately froze and Sakon let out a howl of anger and tried unsuccessfully to yank at the Gerudo's arm.

"_I told you!_" the thief yelled out.

Although the hold wasn't painful, it was uncomfortable and The Postman looked up at Ganondorf uncertainly, completely at his mercy. Ganondorf mumbled a few words under his breath and The Postman felt a slight heat against his neck. A moment later, Ganondorf released him and The Postman stepped far away from him, clapping a hand to his neck to see what was done.

"You did the Gerudos a favour and saved all my people and I haven't forgotten it." Ganondorf informed him. "A Gerudo always settles their debts and you are no exception."

The Postman rubbed at his neck and felt a patch of skin that was raised and rough to the touch. "What did you do?" he asked, feeling uncertain.

Sakon floated over and stared at his neck closely, his nose nearly on the skin then looked up at him with wide eyes. "_He branded you! He burned the desert emblem into your neck! He marked you as his property!"_

"What?" The Postman cried out, not even caring that he was answering Sakon out loud. He turned accusing eyes up at Ganondorf. "You marked me as your property?" he demanded.

"It is an honour." Ganondorf replied dismissively. "No Gerudo or monster will harm you now. It is my repayment for what you did."

The Postman gave another rub at his neck. "I am not your property, sir. I'm just a postman."

"When you came to live here, I made you a Gerudo." Ganondorf began.

"And then you fired me." The Postman pointed out.

"Shut up, I'm not done yet." Ganondorf scolded. "This is a question of Gerudo honour, not of an insignificant postman. When a Gerudo betrays their country as you did when you allowed the hero of time to defeat me, they are either killed or banished. The only way for a disgraced Gerudo to be redeemed is through battle. If they prove themselves by bravely fighting for their country and prove to be an asset then their honour is reinstated."

Ganondorf paused to give The Postman an obvious frown. "Do not see this as a sign of weakness, postman. It is our custom. You helped the Gerudo nation and it is because of you that my people are safe. I am obligated to accept you back but I know that you don't want this."

The Postman hesitated then gave a nod of agreement.

Sakon crossed his arms and scowled. "_I helped too_!" he protested. "_How come you're getting all the credit_?"

The Postman gave a slight shrug.

"Because of that, this is why I extend my protection to you. Do not give me reason to revoke it. This is the one favour I give you and as far as I'm concerned, we're even. I may have use for you again one day, so keeping you alive is also in my benefit."

"_It doesn't look that bad._" Sakon said in a way of consoling him. "_Maybe you could start wearing a scarf_?"

The Postman let out a heavy sigh and decided he had more to worry about than a burn. "Please sir, may I take Sakon's body? I made a promise."

"You promised to collect his body if he died?" Ganondorf asked skeptically.

"Yes, sir."

"_Not exactly the truth_." Sakon pointed out. "_You said you'd come get my body if you weren't crazy, but close enough._"

"I don't really care, postman. You can do what you want with the body."

"Thank you, sir."

"I'll take you there postman since you can't be trusted not to release my prisoners." Ganondorf stated, turning towards the door.

He obviously expected The Postman to follow, as he didn't even glance back at him, stalking from the room without another word. The Postman quickly trotted after him, feeling glad this was almost over with.

Sakon floated lazily between them, feeling quite cocky now that his life wasn't in danger. He thumbed his nose at Ganondorf, making horrible faces, and he flashed The Postman a grin.

"_What a stupid lug!_" the thief laughed. "_He doesn't even realize he's helping with my escape!_"

The Postman pointedly looked away, clearly still angry at him but was unable to voice it at the moment. Sakon paused mid-raspberry, glanced at his expression then gave him a questioning look.

"_You're still mad about the wedding thing_?" he demanded.

The glare he received was all the answer he needed.

Sakon floated over and gave him an over-exaggerated pout. "_Aw, do you need a hug_?"

The Postman narrowed his eyes. "Don't push it." he said very lowly. "I can still change my mind."

Ganondorf glanced at him over his shoulder. "Did you say something, postman?"

"No, sir."

Ganondorf gave him a puzzled look then shrugged and turned his eyes back forward.

Sakon gave The Postman a smirk as he floated on his back, staring at him from upside down. "_You shouldn't make idle threats, darling. You know you would never leave me behind. I'm the __only__ interesting thing in your life after all_."

The Postman's expression clearly said different but he didn't say anything. The last thing he needed was for Ganondorf to think any comments were directed at him! He doubted Ganondorf would find the situation very amusing.

Sakon stretched out casually in the air, his feet going straight through Ganondorf's chest. _"Ganondorf can kind of hear me, you know_." he stated casually. "_I'm not really sure what he hears when I speak to him but it bothers his ears_."

The Postman cocked his head, now curious.

"_Several people were like that actually. They could hear or sense __something__ but I don't think it was a voice. By their reactions I think it may have been like a ringing or buzzing or something. Most people can't hear me at all_."

Sakon gave another casual stretch, still halfway through Ganondorf chest. "_Link couldn't see me but he could __almost__ hear me. Every time I'd speak to him, he would draw his sword and look really spooked. You were the only one who could actually see and hear me though_."

Sakon paused and scratched at his chin in thought. "_I wonder why? What's so special about you_?"

The Postman honestly had no idea and gave a shrug as they reached the dark staircase leading down into the dungeon. The guard posted at the entrance gave Ganondorf a salute then turned her gaze to The Postman curiously, wondering if Ganondorf was going to imprison him. Her gaze fell on the emblem on his neck and her eyes widened dramatically, knowing what it meant.

"Sir?" she questioned.

Ganondorf ignored her and began down the stairs, The Postman following quickly behind. The guard stared a long moment, then she too followed, wanting to see what was going to happen. They walked down the very long winding staircase in silence, the only sound yells from far below in the dungeon. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Ganondorf pointed towards the only open cell.

"He's there." he stated. "Take him and go."

The Postman could see a crumpled form laying in the centre of the cell and slowly approached the cell to get a better look. Seeing the familiar blue and white of Sakon's clothes, he stepped into the cell under Ganondorf watchful gaze. He knelt next to the body and reached out, turning Sakon's face towards him. Sakon certainly looked dead as he laid in a breathless sleep, but there was no sign of decay or rot. The body was so still, The Postman felt a little creeped out and hesitantly reached out a hand to give the body a poke.

Sakon chose that exact moment to appear in front of him with a loud yell. The Postman visibly jumped then gave Sakon a look of death as the thief gave him a cheeky grin.

"_Sorry, couldn't resist_." he apologized. "_It was too perfect_."

The Postman let out an annoyed huff but didn't say a word as he reached over and grabbed the body by one of the arms. Sakon was a good deal heavier than him, and he began dragging the body out of the cell with a lot of difficulty. He knew he'd never be able to lift him, so he had no choice.

"_Don't forget my backpack_." Sakon instructed, floating over his body worriedly. "_My entire life is in there. And quit being so rough!_"

The Postman shot him a withering look but did reach down and pick up Sakon's backpack. Slipping it over his shoulders, he grabbed a hold of the body once more and resumed very, very slowly dragging it across the room. Ganondorf watched his progress with a raised brow and crossed his arms, content to watch.

"_I'm going to be all scraped up and bruised_!" Sakon complained.

"Better than dead." The Postman muttered.

Pausing a moment to loosen his tie, The Postman gazed across the dungeon and the room suddenly seemed much, much bigger. The prisoners were all yelling and begging to be released and The Postman refused to look at them, knowing what would happen if he did. He continued pulling the body at barely a crawl, the rough stone floor making it hard to drag across. When he finally reached the staircase, his arms were already aching at the exertion and he hoped he'd be able to pull the body all the way to the top. Ganondorf had crossed the room to resume watching and hadn't said a single word to him.

Taking a deep breath, The Postman took the first step then the second, pulling the body up after him. Pulling across the floor had been hard, pulling up the stairs was ten times as difficult. He took the steps slowly, the body continuously slipping back down a bit and causing him to falter. When he got to the tenth stair, he stumbled, almost losing his grip on the body and knocked his hip hard against one of the stairs instead of letting go.

"_Be careful_!" Sakon yelled at him. _"You're going to kill me!"_

The Guard who had also been watching, instantly stepped forward but Ganondorf held up his hand to stop her.

"Leave him." he ordered. "He wants the thief so he has to take him. Do not help him."

The guard gave a nod. "Yes, sire."

The Postman's attention was entirely on what he was doing and he readjusted his grip on the thief. Getting back to his feet, he resumed his slow ascent without complaint, Sakon hovering over him worriedly.

The Postman was a runner, and the heaviest thing he'd ever lifted had been a mailbag. He was not used to moving more than his body weight and despite the fact he was perfectly fit, his arms were throbbing. He struggled up another ten stairs then paused a moment to catch his breath, careful not to let the body's head hit against the stairs or to bend any of the limbs.

Ganondorf could clearly see that Sakon was too heavy for the smaller man and the Gerudo King stood at the foot of the stairs, simply watching. He noticed how very gentle The Postman was being with the body and that he was treating it like he was afraid it would break. Ganondorf's expression was unreadable as he stared at the bizarre scene and made an impatient noise in the back of his throat. The Postman could have just grabbed the body by a limb and carelessly dragged it up the stairs and it would have been a lot easier and faster but he didn't. He took each step painstakingly, struggling under the weight and Ganondorf frowned.

The Postman again paused when he was about halfway up the stairs, looking a bit worse for wear and Sakon wasn't helping matters.

"_I'm not that heavy; quit being so lazy_!" he commented. "_Hurry up!"_

"Shut up." The Postman snapped, once again continuing up the stairs.

Ganondorf stared at The Postman's determination and remembered exactly the reason he had employed him in the first place. Ganondorf was the first to admit that he was a villain through and through. He maimed, tortured and killed people without much thought and he was the most hated man in the world. Despite so much hatred towards him, Ganondorf was clever and powerful and had survived anything fate threw at him. As a rule he hated most people, but there were certain traits that he admired.

It was The Postman's unwavering loyalty and determination that had first caught his attention all those months ago. The Postman would go into any situation that his job demanded, unafraid. As Ganondorf stared up at The Postman struggling with the body of his dead friend, he felt something akin to sympathy. The Postman wasn't his enemy nor was he his ally, so Ganondorf supposed pity was only natural.

Not exactly sure why he did it, Ganondorf let out an exasperated sigh and walked up the stairs towards The Postman. Reaching out, he grabbed the body by the back of the shirt and easily lifted it out of The Postman arms. Then, without a word, he started up the rest of the stairs.

The Postman stared at him in surprise all of a moment before quickly following after.

"_Stop him_!" Sakon yelled in dismay. "_He's going to do something horrible to me! Stop him_!"

The Postman fell in step beside Ganondorf and looked up at him uncertainly. "Sir?" he questioned.

Ganondorf glanced at him out of the corner of his eye as they reached the top of the stairs. "You were taking too long." he stated. "I have better things to do then stare at you struggling up a staircase all day long."

The Postman knew Ganondorf had taken pity on him and gave him a slight smile. "Thank you, sir."

Ganondorf simply let out a grunt. Sakon was hovering over Ganondorf frantically, absolutely certain his body was about to be eviscerated. The guard stepped out into the hallway after them, curious of what was going to happen. Throwing Sakon over his shoulder like a sack of grain, Ganondorf left the castle, The Postman following closely behind.

Once they were outside, Ganondorf glanced down at The Postman. "Were you really planning on dragging the body all the way back to the mainlands?" he demanded.

The Postman nodded. "Yes, sir."

Ganondorf rolled his eyes. "As I said before, postman, I want to preserve your life for at least a little while longer. You'll be no use to me dead and you won't survive more than an hour in the desert."

The Postman considered that and frowned.

"I will lend you a horse, postman, but this is the last and I mean the last time I will help you. Do not see this kindness as a weakness as you'll not see it again."

The Postman's eyes widened, not expecting Ganondorf to help him in such a way. "Thank you, sir."

Ganondorf turned to the guard. "Fetch him a horse."

The guard was surprised as well but she saluted all the same and ran off to do as she was told without a word. Sakon looked dumbstruck and floated closer to Ganondorf, giving him a thoughtful look.

"_How come he favours you_?" he demanded. "_All he does is beat __me!"_

The Postman gave him a pointed look, wanting to remind him about the constant thefts but didn't say a word.

"_I've worked for Ganondorf since I was twenty-one, you worked for him for like a minute and he gives you a horse_!"

The Postman gave a shrug.

Sakon crossed his arms and frowned at him accusingly. "_Are you his boyfriend or something? Why else would he be nice to you? I mean, there had to have been __some__ reason he was keeping you around!"_

The Postman let out a breath of irritation but didn't say anything.

Ganondorf glanced down at him and wasn't sure what was agitating him but didn't ask about it. He'd noticed The Postman had seemed a little off the entire time but assumed it was due to Sakon's death. Not especially caring, Ganondorf didn't put too much thought into it. When the Gerudo returned with a horse saddled and ready to go, The Postman saw it was the black horse he'd used before.

"That's my horse..." Ganondorf stated with narrowed eyes.

"He needs the exercise, sir, plus The Postman is the only one who can ride him."

"You better return my horse, postman." Ganondorf warned. "That breed is extremely rare and very hard to train."

Sakon stared into the red eyes of the horse and shuddered. "_Probably for a reason_."

"Yes, sir. I'll send him home once I'm done with him. Thank you."

Ganondorf threw the body on top of the horse carelessly and Sakon gave a horrified gasp and floated over to check on it. "_Is it okay_?" he demanded. "_He could have broken my back_!"

Not answering, The Postman mounted the horse, giving its neck an affectionate pet. As The Postman turned the horse to leave, he gave a nod to Ganondorf.

"Thank you, sir, for helping Sakon."

Ganondorf gave him an odd look then turned and entered the castle without another word. As The Postman walked the horse away from the castle, he checked the body over under Sakon's careful observation.

"_Check the neck_!" he ordered. "_And my arms, I'm sure I saw one of them bend_!"

"The neck is fine and so are your arms. You're not hurt." The Postman informed him. "There's a mark on your neck that looks like a rat bite but that's it."

"_Great, now I probably have rabies_." Sakon grumbled. "_If I do, I'm giving them to you_."

As they rode through the city, The Postman gave the thief a frown. "How is the rat bite my fault?" he asked.

"_Because you should have been faster_." Sakon said, crossing his arms and sticking his nose into the air.

The Postman sighed and said nothing more, ignoring all the staring and whispering from the Gerudos as he passed. He wondered if they were staring at the burn on his neck or whether they were just surprised he'd made it back out unharmed.

"_So what are we going to do about my little body problem_?" Sakon demanded.

"'We' aren't doing anything. I'm taking you to Link and letting him deal with this. It's his job not mine."

"_I'm a villain, he won't help me!"_ Sakon protested. "_He'll probably just leave my body in a ditch and go off on another adventure!_"

The Postman let out a sigh. "I'll make sure he doesn't."

"_But he can't see me! How can he help me if he can't see me?"_

"I'm sure he'll figure something out."

Sakon scowled at him as they left the city and entered the desert. "_You're not reassuring me much_."

"Hoo hoot"

Sakon gave The Postman a flabbergasted look. "_Did you just hoot at me_?" he demanded.

"It wasn't me." The Postman responded, looking up.

Kaepora Gaebora was perched on top of the city's entrance staring down at him and Sakon's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"_Whoa, look at the size of that owl_!" he commented. "_It's huge_!"

"That's Gaepora."

Sakon squinted up at the owl, this being the first time he'd seen him. "_I thought you rescued that guy? Or someone did anyway._"

The Postman shook his head. "I forgot."

Kaepora Gaebora spread out his enormous brown wings as if to stretch them, never shifting his gaze from The Postman.

"Greetings, young postman," Kaepora Gaebora called down. The owl turned his gaze to Sakon and cocked his head. "And hello, thief."

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**Reviews make the author happy!**


	4. Sakon's Curse

**Authornote  
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**Wow! A fast update! o.O This even surprised me that it only took me two days to get this up. This chapter's not as long as the last one just because it's more or less joining two scenes together. The next one has a lot going on so it will be much longer.****  
**

**Thank you to my reviewers:  
**

**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**Light-Sakura**

**Nocturne of Eclipse**

**ChocolateMilkLOL **

**toolazytologin**

**Any suggestions or feedback is always appreciated! Please read and review!  
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**Ballad of The Postman **

Sakon's Curse

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Sakon stared up at Kaepora Gaebora with wide eyes. "_You can see me_?" he cried out in shock.

"Hoot." Kaepora Gaebora confirmed. "I see more than you realize, thief."

Sakon looked over at The Postman. "_He can see_ _me_!" he cheered happily. "_Maybe there are others too!"_

The Postman shielded his eyes from the sun and stared up at the owl curiously. From his past meetings with him, Kaepora Gaebora had given him advice and he wondered if this was the owl's mission.

"Have you come to tell us something, sir?" he asked politely.

"I have." Kaepora Gaebora responded. "Once again, I've come to assist you on your quest, postman."

The Postman didn't like the sound of that and hesitated a long moment. "...I'm not on a quest."

Kaepora Gaebora hooted in laughter. "Your quest never ended, postman, it has barely begun! There is still much left of your journey. This will be your most difficult journey yet! Hoot."

The Postman gave Kaepora Gaebora a look of death, then without a word, turned the horse and rode off. He was not being pulled into another adventure; he refused, fate be damned.

Sakon didn't want to lose sight of his body again, so he followed after The Postman but was not happy over it.

"What are you doing?" Sakon demanded angrily. "_He could see me! What if he could have told me what happened?"_

"I am not being dragged into another quest." The Postman said with finality. "I am a postman not a hero and just once I'd like to have a normal week."

"_Go back_!" Sakon ordered. "_I want to hear what the owl had to say! He might know who can cure me!_"

The Postman kept his eyes straight ahead. "No. I'm taking you to Mr. Link, I'm not going on an adventure and I'm going to deliver tomorrow's mail as usual."

Sakon scowled at him. "_Don't you even care if I ever make it back into my body?_"

"Certainly, but it's not my job."

"_Bah, you're ridiculous_!" Sakon snapped as they passed by the Gerudo Fortress. "_Friends are supposed to help each other out no matter what!_"

The Postman didn't answer, steering the horse past the Gerudo Fortress, keeping his eyes focussed ahead.

"_What if my body's slowly dying and if someone doesn't help me right away it'll start to rot?"_

"All the more reason for a professional to help you." The Postman replied.

Sakon threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "_Link can't see me! He might just leave me behind and give up! I want help from someone I trust_! _Someone who will actually try to help me!"_

The Postman frowned over at him as they crossed the bridge. "Sakon, what exactly do you expect me to do? I'm a postman."

Sakon gave a helpless, desperate shrug. "_I don't know, but at least you could have listened to the stupid owl!"_

Staring straight across Hyrule Field, The Postman sighed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Fine," he admitted. "I should have at least listened to him."

Sakon floated just above the horse's head and gave The Postman a frown. "_Then why __didn't__ you?_" he demanded.

"I don't like being forced into things." The Postman stated. "Nobody ever asks me, they tell me."

Sakon gave him a skeptical look. "_If I had of asked, would you have agreed to go on the quest_?"

"No, but at least it would've been my choice."

Sakon let out a snort and seated himself on top of the horse's head. "_That's__ why no one asks you_."

The horse was fast and had obviously been penned for far too long as it seemed overly eager to run. It crossed Hyrule field in a blur of black and within minutes they had reached Hyrule Town. The Postman brought the horse to a stop, not sure what he was going to do about Sakon.

"Ho there, young postman! Hoot!" called a voice from above.

The Postman and Sakon both looked up to see Kaepora Gaebora perched on top of Hyrule gate waiting for them. The owl had his head cocked to one side and seemed genuinely amused.

"Why in such a hurry, postman?" he asked in a light tone. "So eager for your quest already?"

The Postman gave him a dirty look, tempted to leave again. Sakon saw his expression and was obviously worried he would leave because he quickly spoke up.

"_What happened to me_?" he demanded. "_Why am I ghost_?"

Kaepora Gaebora turned his attention to the thief. "You are not a ghost. Hoo hoot." he stated. "Your situation is very unique."

Sakon frowned. "_Then what am I_?" he asked.

The large brown owl stared down at him a moment as if contemplating answering. "You're trapped between the dreamworld and this world." he explained. "It is a very serious problem for a mortal."

"_Dreamworld?_" Sakon cried. "_What are you talking about? How did this happen_?"

Kaepora Gaebora shifted his perch slightly, his long talons digging into stone. "You drank water meant only for immortals, thief. Your mortal body could not handle it and the result is your current condition. It is very unfortunate."

Sakon hesitated as he thought back to his canteen of water and exactly where he'd filled it. His eyes widened in realization. "_Oh, crap_..."

The Postman glanced over at Sakon. "Where did you get the water?" he asked. "Did you steal something you shouldn't have?"

Sakon shook his head. _"I filled my canteen at that weird freaky jungle garden in Termina's temple._" he said. "_I should have known not to trust virgin water!_"

The Postman looked back up at Kaepora Gaebora who was watching the both of them impassively.

"What does Sakon have to do to fix it?" he asked.

"He must go on a journey to the land of dreams and ask a favour of the Windfish."

Sakon crinkled his nose. "_The what now_?"

Kaepora Gaebora gave Sakon a patient look. "The Windfish is the god of dreams. He lives on a far away island called Koholint and slumbers high on a mountain. He controls who leaves the world of dreams and you must ask him to release you._"_

"_I have to wake up a sleeping god_?" Sakon asked uncertainly.

"Hoot."

"_I can't imagine any circumstance where this will turn out_..." Sakon stated.

The Postman stared at Sakon a long moment then asked. "If Sakon is in between worlds, then how come I can see him?"

"You touched the water as well, postman." Kaepora Gaebora pointed out. "Although you didn't drink any of it. If you had, you'd be sharing his state now."

Sakon floated up so he was eye level with the owl. "_How come __you__ can see me then? I didn't see any owls hanging around that waterfall."_

"Immortals are much more perceptive than mortals." Kaepora Gaebora informed him. "Only immortals or those touched by the gods can see the unseen."

Sakon thought about that. "_Huh. So I guess that's why Link could almost hear me then_..."

"What does any of this have to do with me?" The Postman asked. "I fail to see why I'd have to get involved."

Kaepora Gaebora's large golden eyes stared down at him for a long moment, studying him. "If the thief goes alone, then he is destined to fail. Only you can save him."

The Postman was not accepting that. "Why can't The Hero of Time save him? That's his job."

Kaepora Gaebora gave his head a jerky shake. "Link has already travelled once to the land of dreams. Once you leave, you can never return. He cannot help him."

The Postman crossed his arms stubbornly. "There are other heroes."

"Hoot, but none who can see the thief. Without your unique teamwork, you will fail."

The Postman did not look impressed but before he could retort to that, Sakon spoke up.

"_Where do we go? How do we get to this Cocklint island? By a boat_?"

Kaepora Gaebora gave his wings a stretch before replying. "Sail to the Southwest as far as you dare. Don't be afraid of the water when the time comes."

"_And_?" Sakon prompted.

"That is all I can tell you for now."

Sakon stared at him in disbelief, then crossed his arms. "_That's it? That's all the advice you have for me? Head Northwest? That's all you can give me?_"

"Southwest, thief."

Sakon narrowed his eyes. "_Well, where's the island? __Where__ Southeast? Be a little more specific._"

"The island does not have a location, it is as ever-changing as the sea itself. You'll have to find it for yourself. Destiny will bring you there."

"_Stop trying to be all 'mysterious'_!" Sakon ordered. "_Just give me a straight answer! Where do I go?"_

Kaepora Gaebora gave a slow blink. "I cannot reveal anymore for fear of changing fate. Trust in this fate."

"_Bullcrap_!" Sakon yelled angrily. "_You've told us nothing, you stupid pigeon! You're just trying to be an asshole!"_

Before Sakon could react, Kaepora Gaebora lashed out with one of his wings, clipping Sakon sharply in the face. Sakon hadn't been touched by anything in days so it took him completely by surprise and he almost fell from the air. He let out a yelp and clapped a hand to his face.

"_You hit_ _me_!" he exclaimed in surprise. "_How come you can hit me?"_

"Hoo. I remind you, thief, you are not a ghost and are very much alive." Kaepora Gaebora stated. "You're simply trapped between worlds and immortals can see and harm you if they wish it. Watch who you insult in the future."

Sakon gave his cheek a sullen rub. "_Well, that's not fair_!" he exclaimed. "_How come I can't touch anything?_"

"Hoo hoot. It takes practice, thief and you will learn. You need to master both worlds if you're to succeed."

Sakon went from sullen to excited within a moment. "_You mean I can learn to touch things?_" he asked.

"Hoot."

"_That could be useful_..." Sakon pondered out loud.

"I must be off, young adventurers. I will return to help you again shortly. Keep safe. Hooo hoot!"

"_But what about_-"

Sakon cut off mid-sentence as Kaepora Gaepbora spread his wings and took off into the air. Sakon gave him a scowl.

"_Stupid pigeon_!" he yelled after him.

Once the owl was gone from sight, Sakon floated back down to The Postman's level who was staring moodily at the ground. Sakon gave him an uncertain grin, not sure whether to push it.

"_Hey, at least you don't have to face any monsters or villains this time around_...?"

Without a word, The Postman urged the horse to cross the bridge into town.

"_Darling, I don't think horses are allowed in town_." Sakon helpfully pointed out.

"Don't care."

Sakon's eyebrows rose in surprise. "_Wow, look at you, Mr. Attitude_!" he commented with a grin. "_What crawled up your butt_?"

The Postman said nothing as they entered town, most of the villagers already inside for the evening. He brought the horse to a stop in front of the post office and dismounted, finally looking up at Sakon.

"I'm going to take a shower. You may want to guard your body while I'm gone."

"_And what exactly am I supposed to do to protect_ _it_?" Sakon demanded. "_Make creepy noises at people?_"

The Postman let out a heavy sigh. "I am taking a shower and getting changed out of these clothes before I even think about any of this." he stated. "You can give me twenty minutes."

Sakon sprawled on top of the horse beside his body. "_Fine, but if I'm kidnapped while you're gone, it's your fault!_"

"Fine." The Postman agreed. "If you're kidnapped then I'll pay the ransom but I'm still taking a shower."

Sakon closed his eyes and waved him off dismissively.

Without another word, The Postman pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. Giving one more glance back at Sakon, he entered the postoffice and closed the door behind him.

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Sakon sat cross-legged on top of the horse and stared down at his body. It was rather creepy in his opinion to see himself and reached out a hand towards his chest. As his hand passed through the flesh, he felt a slight jolt as if he were being drawn back in and he allowed it. He re-entered his body and immediately felt his heart start and got a glimpse of sky as his body convulsed then he was thrown violently out.

Rather dizzy from the short ordeal, Sakon felt a little frustrated. He'd managed to stay in longer than before but couldn't seem to hold onto his body. If he could figure it out himself, perhaps he wouldn't need the Windfish after all.

Crossing his arms huffily, Sakon glanced up at the town clock just as it chimed a new hour. It had now been more than half an hour and Sakon was beginning to get impatient. Never one for forcing his own patience, he decided to see what was keeping The Postman.

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Now that he wasn't hot, sweaty and covered in ten layers of sand, The Postman got changed into a clean uniform, already feeling more relaxed. As he stood in front of the mirror towel-drying his hair, he wondered if anyone had looked for him after his outburst at the wedding. He wouldn't blame them at all if they didn't. Tossing the towel aside, he combed out his hair, his eyes falling on the burn on the neck. Setting down the comb, he stared at the mark with a frown and raised a hand to touch it. It was incredibly noticeable and there would be no denying who'd put it there.

Rubbing his fingers over the rough and raised flesh, he wondered why it didn't hurt. It certainly looked painful enough but all he could feel was a slight tingling. Wondering if it was purposely enchanted not to hurt, The Postman pressed on it lightly. There was no pain but it did still feel hot to the touch. Turning his head to the side so he could get a better look at it, he contemplated whether Sakon was right and he should wear a scarf.

"_Almost done admiring yourself in the mirror, darling_?" Sakon asked from behind him, his voice laced with amusement.

The Postman turned around to face him and gave the thief a resigned look. Sakon looked him up and down with a crinkled nose, then asked.

"_Why are you in your postal uniform? Why don't you put on regular clothes_?"

"I don't have 'regular' clothes." The Postman informed him. "I've never really had a need for them."

Sakon crossed his arms. "_You're a very sad person_."

The Postman rolled his eyes and Sakon approached with an eager grin. "_Ready to_ _go_?" he asked. "_Gonna fight a Windfish with me?"_

"I don't think you're supposed to fight him." The Postman pointed out. "And I have work tomorrow."

Sakon gave a shrug. "Skip it."

The Postman's eyes widened in horror. "I can't do that, I'd lose my job! I would never be such a terrible postman!"

Sakon didn't seem all that concerned. "_Find a replacement then. Make one of your brothers or sisters do it."_

The Postman shook his head. "I can't. The only one who lives close enough to take it over at short notice is Haru and he's leaving on his honeymoon tomorrow."

"_So_?"

"Do you honestly think he'll agree to take over the route instead of going on his honeymoon?"

"_Tape the mailbag and keys to his door then run for it."_

"It's his honeymoon." The Postman repeated with a frown.

Sakon met his gaze evenly. "_It's my life_."

The Postman was completely incredulous. "You really expect me to ruin his honeymoon right after I ruined his entire wedding?"

Sakon gave a nod. "_Yes_."

The Postman let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine."

Sakon definitely wasn't expecting that. "_Really_?" he asked in surprise.

"What choice do I have?" The Postman responded, turning away. "The entire world seems to be working against me on this."

"_Smartest thing you've said all day_!" Sakon exclaimed, giving him a beaming smile.

The Postman let out another sigh. "Just let me get the mailbag." he grumbled, crossing the room towards his coat-rack. He snatched the mailbag off one of the hooks and slung it over his shoulder, grabbing his hat as he did so. As he put it on, Sakon floated over, giving the hat a grimace.

"_Okay, I understand why you have to wear the uniform, but you are not wearing that stupid hat_!"

The Postman gave Sakon a 'look' then turned towards the door. Grabbing Sakon's backpack, he left the post office and locked it behind him, forcing Sakon to float through the door to get out. Several villagers were gathered around, staring at the body but were too afraid to approach because of the vicious horse. The horse kept snorting angrily and stomping its feet any time anyone got too near and none dared get too close. When The Postman saw them, he mounted the horse then gave the confused and concerned villagers a shrug.

"He's drunk." he said as way of explanation of Sakon's body.

The villagers still looked a bit confused but The Postman didn't stay around long enough to be questioned. As he rode the horse out of town, Sakon floated by his side.

"_Think they believed you_?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter." The Postman replied. "They'd be too afraid about their mail to question me. They wouldn't take the chance."

"_That's __some__ power you have there_." Sakon said jokingly, as they crossed the drawbridge. "_They'd probably give you whatever you want if you asked. Maybe even a big fat raise if you wanted it!_"

"Probably." The Postman agreed, distractedly.

"_You could use the mail to extort the common people_!"

The Postman didn't look impressed. They rode the short distance to Kakariko Village and Sakon still couldn't believe The Postman had given in this easily. He had almost expected him to be dragged into it kicking and screaming, not to just complain then quietly give in. He supposed The Postman's will and defences were still worn down from the last adventure and was glad for small favours.

The Postman rode the horse directly into Karkariko Village and saw no one in sight. It was almost suppertime and the village was already shut down, everyone inside for the night. He stopped the horse directly in front of Anju's house and dismounted, his expression somewhat troubled. Standing in front of the door a long moment, he shrugged off his mailbag and quietly hung it off the door knob. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out his key-ring, hanging that off the door as well. The Postman knew Haru would get a very clear message when he returned from the reception and saw the items. He'd have no choice but to take over the route.

The Postman slowly reached up and covered his eyes with a groan. "By the goddesses..." he whispered. "My entire family is going to kill me..."

Sakon tried to pat him on the back then settled for giving him a reassuring smile. "_At least it's all for a very good cause._" he said.

The Postman glanced up, his expression saying otherwise but he didn't comment. Instead, he let out a heavy sigh and headed back to the horse. Mounting without a word, The Postman gave once more glance towards the house, feeling like a jerk then turned the horse to leave.

"Do you even know where we can get a boat?" he asked Sakon.

Sakon gave him a downright evil grin. "_Sure do."_

The Postman looked at the thief out of the corner of his eye, getting a very bad feeling about this. "Where exactly is this boat?" he demanded.

Sakon's grin widened even more. "_What would you say if I knew of a bunch of very lovely ladies who have a ship docked at the Great Bay_?"

The Postman hesitated. "...the Gerudo pirates?" he questioned.

Sakon's smirk was answer enough. The Postman had occasional dealings with the pirates and knew them to be a lot more vicious than the common Gerudo. Living as pirates had hardened them to other races and they loathed men even more than the desert Gerudos. Their philosophy in life was to rob, maim, and kill then ask questions later. They weren't a very pleasant bunch.

"_I happen to know the pirates are setting sail tomorrow and I bet we can catch a ride with them_." Sakon said casually. "_There's plenty of room on their ship_."

"I really don't think they'll agree to that..." The Postman stated, imagining the pirates' expressions if he actually did dare ask.

Sakon waved off the notion dismissively, already having a plan. "_Don't worry about it. They'd never turn away a maiden willing to pay handsomely for their services."_

The Postman's bad feeling about the situation increased ten-fold. "What are you talking about?" he demanded. "What maiden?"

Sakon's smirk grew. "_How do you feel about cross-dressing_?"

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**Reviews Make The Author Happy**


	5. Precious

******The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

**Authornote:  
**

**Hello everyone! Here is the strangest chapter I've written yet for this series. I hope you guys get a kick out of it. Holy crap was this chapter ever long! I was thinking about breaking it up into two parts but figured it would lose a bit of its fun that way. I'll hopefully have the next chapter up a little later this week. We're now getting into the main adventure of this story and it's definitely going to be the longest of all my stories.  
**

**As always, a huge thank you to my faithful reviewers, you guys are really awesome!  
**

**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**ChocolateMilkLOL**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Light-Sakura**

**Guest  
**

**Any feedback or criticism is always welcome so don't be afraid to tell me what's on your mind! I won't get offended so please leave me your thoughts! :)  
**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

**Precious**

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The Postman urged the horse to go faster, trying to drown out the sound of Sakon's voice. The thief drifted next to him, shouting determinedly over the horses galloping.

"_Just consider it_!" Sakon yelled. "_It's the fastest and easiest way to get us on a boat_!"

The Postman pretended he didn't hear, so Sakon floated even closer until they were nose to nose. Sakon's green eyes stared directly into The Postman's brown ones unshakably then he asked. "_Exactly how long do you want me screaming in your ear before you listen? I can keep this up all night, you know_."

The Postman let out an irritated sigh and slowed the horse down to more natural speed. It was almost sunset now and they were quickly losing light. The Postman knew the lands like the back of his hand so he didn't really need to see but he wasn't sure how comfortable the horse would be in the dark. Turning his gaze to Sakon, he gave him a looked that screamed forced patience then said.

"I am not going to cross-dress, Sakon, so just let it drop."

"_Darling, it's the only way_." Sakon replied, trying unsuccessfully to hide his smile. "_We need to leave as soon as possible_!"

The Postman reached up and gestured towards the burn on his neck. "And exactly why can't I just use this?" he demanded. "Ganondorf said it put me under his protection so the pirates won't hurt me. I can explain to them our situation and they might help us. That's the honest way to handle this."

"_Pfft, honest way_." Sakon stated, shaking his head. "_When will you learn? That's not the way things are done with villains. You can't do things the direct way_."

"But the mark protects me...doesn't it?" The Postman asked. "Why wouldn't I be able to use it to get on the boat?"

Sakon settled himself down comfortably on top of the horse's head and crossed his legs. "_You really don't want to try that, believe me." _he informed him_. "You're not the only one who's been under Ganondorf's protection_."

The Postman furrowed his brow. By the way Ganondorf had acted, he thought he was the only one. "I'm not?"

Sakon shook his head. "_I once knew a guy who was under Ganondorf's protection; he was a glorious thief, almost as good as me. He got wind of some treasure at a local bar, came into possession of a map and tried to talk the pirates into taking him out to sea. Do you know what happened to him?"_

"What?" The Postman asked cautiously.

"_The pirates live by different rules than the desert Gerudos and cannot always be trusted to follow Ganondorf's orders. The pirates don't believe the Gerudo race should associate with men any more than necessary and they look at Ganondorf's mark as an insult. When they saw the man's mark, they strung him to the mast by his intestines. He never even stood a chance. It would be suicide if you showed them yours_."

"But Mr. Ganondorf said-"

"_Hanging from his intestines_." Sakon repeated. "_He was still alive when they did it too. He was kicking and twitching for hours_."

The Postman hesitated. "But-"

Sakon edged even closer to him. "_Do you really want to become the newest pirate piñata_?" he demanded.

The Postman leaned away from him, feeling skeptical over the whole story. "How do you even know any of this anyway?"

Sakon gave a shrug. "_I have my ways_."

The Postman crossed his arms and gave him a scowl. "You just want to see me cross-dress." he accused.

Sakon didn't even try to mask his eager look. "_Well, maybe just a bit_..." he admitted. "_But I really do only have your best interests at heart_!"

"No."

"_I don't see what the big deal is_!" Sakon cried out dramatically. "_I've done it dozens of times! Sometimes it's necessary in my line of work_."

"No." The Postman repeated. "The Gerudos are intelligent, Sakon. They are not that stupid and won't be fooled by a man in a dress."

Sakon let out a snort. "_Shows what you know_." he stated, giving him a knowing smirk. "_Trust me, they're not that observant. I once spent three days on their ship pretending I was a lesbian. Now __that__ was a fun weekend_..."

The Postman wouldn't, couldn't believe that and gave his head a shake.

"_How do you think I know so many details about that poor thief they killed? I was standing with the rest of the crowd as they strung him up. As they cheered for his death, they didn't even realize I too was just a thief_."

The Postman gave him a doubtful look. "And they didn't catch you?"

Sakon gave a laugh. "_Of course they caught me! Gerudos aren't morons and I got a little too 'friendly' with one of them and she found me out. I jumped ship and swam for it before she even had chance to sound the alarm._"

"I'm not going to cross-dress." The Postman said with finality.

Sakon let out a heavy sigh. "_I really don't see what the big deal is." _he commented_. "I'm pretty sure you wear the girls postal uniform anyway, so is this really that much of a stretch?"_

The Postman frowned and looked down at his uniform. "I do not; the uniform is unisex."

"_Then how come I've only ever seen your sisters wearing that version of the uniform_?"

Changing the subject, The Postman looked away and said. "It's not going to happen, Sakon."

"_Look, don't worry about it, okay, darling? We'll keep your mark hidden and they'll be none the wiser_."

"I just don't understand why they'd want to hurt me if I was under their king's protection. Wouldn't they see I was no threat?"

"_They hate men, plain and simple_."

"But-"

"_Just do it!_" Sakon insisted. "_With a little bit of work...okay a lot of work, you could pass as a girl! You could just keep to yourself the whole time and they'd never know the difference_!"

"No."

The Postman knew that Sakon was more familiar with how villain society worked but none of this sounded right to him. Wouldn't Ganondorf have warned him to avoid the pirates if they'd kill him just for bearing his mark?

"_I know this guy named Precious in Ikana Canyon that can give you a complete make-over._" Sakon said, interrupting his thoughts. _The guy works absolute magic when you don't want to be recognized. His work is so good, you could fool your own mother_!"

"The answer is still no, Sakon." The Postman replied, then he hesitated. "His name is Precious?"

"_You'll understand when you meet him_."

"I'm not going to meet him!"

Sakon was starting to get a bit annoyed and it clearly showed as he shifted his position on the horse. _"Do you have any other ideas_?" he challenged. "_The pirates have the nearest ship and they're disembarking tomorrow. We need to leave as soon as possible_."

"I'm not pretending to be a woman, we'll find someone else to take us._"_

Sakon tsked him impatiently. _"Now you're just being stubborn. You know this is the only way and there is no one else to take us."_

"There is, you just didn't want to tell me." The Postman informed him. "I happen to know there's a second pirate ship at Great Bay."

Sakon raised an eyebrow. "_Do you now_."

The Postman gave a nod. "I delivered him a letter just yesterday." he said. "He might be willing to take us."

"_Pirate_?" Sakon questioned. "_What other pirate_?"

"His name was Linebeck."

Sakon knew very well who Linebeck was and grimaced. "_You don't want to mix up with that guy. He'll stab you in the back and take you for everything you're worth_."

"Hmm, sounds familiar." The Postman stated, giving Sakon a pointed look.

Sakon let out a long dramatic sigh. "_You're never going to let that go, are you_?"

"Not likely." The Postman answered. "And I'd rather take my chances with Linebeck than travel dressed as a woman with the Gerudo pirates."

"_Fine, fine, whatever_." Sakon relented. "_But you're going to regret it. Linebeck's a real slimeball_."

Without another word, The Postman sped up the horse as the final rays of sunlight began disappearing behind the mountains.

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By the time they reached Termina, it was well after dark and Sakon kept shooting the horse uneasy glances. In the dark of the night, nothing except for the horse's gleaming red eyes could be seen and it was clearly making the thief uncomfortable.

They had just passed Clock Town a few minutes prior and were on the way to the Great Bay and Sakon couldn't seem to look away from the horse.

"_I don't remember the horse seeming quite so evil the last time we rode it..._" he stated. "_Why did that Gerudo guard say you were the only one who could ride it besides Ganondorf? How did you do it?"_

The Postman thought back to the first time he'd met the horse. "I think it allowed me to ride it at first because I smelled like Mr. Ganondorf and eventually it just got used to me."

Sakon looked away from the horse's red eyes for a moment and instead stared at The Postman. "..._why did you smell like Ganondorf_?" he questioned uncertainly.

BOOM

The ground seemed to shake and The Postman heard great flocks of birds take off into the air in a flurry of wings and squawks.

"What was that?" The Postman asked, looking all around for the source of the noise.

"_It's cannon fire_." Sakon answered, looking towards the bay. "_One of the pirate ships must be attacking something._"

BOOM

BOOM

"_Scratch that_." Sakon corrected. "_Two__ pirate ships are firing and I'm going to bet it's at each other..._"

Both men exchanged a look, instantly realizing what was happening at the bay. Without a word, The Postman urged the horse to go faster, hoping the two pirate ships weren't completely annihilating one another. The horse was well out of breath but obediently galloped as fast as it could towards the bay, huffing and snorting as it went. It easily jumped over the small broken walls that littered the beach and it skidded to a halt just at the water's edge, sending a shower of sand in all directions.

The sight that met them at the beach left them speechless and all they could do was stare in awe. The enormous ship of the Gerudo pirates had the much smaller ship of Linebeck pressed up against the cliffs and they were shooting at it, the sky alight with smoke and explosions. Everything was pitch black and only when one of the ships fired, could Sakon and The Postman get a glimpse of what was going on. They could see the pirates standing on deck jeering and yelling across the short distance to Linebeck's ship and Linebeck himself was cursing and yelling back at them, manning the cannon himself.

"I wonder what started all this?" The Postman wondered out loud.

Sakon didn't especially care, too interested in seeing a bit of bloodshed and gave a shrug. "_Does it matter_?"

BOOM

BOOM-CRASH

The horse reared up at the deafening sound of a cannonball making contact and The Postman had to grab a hold of Sakon's body so it wouldn't be thrown off. The horse backed up several steps, snorting furiously and The Postman looked up to see what had happened.

Linebeck's ship was sinking fast and he was screaming and swearing at the other pirates as they cheered and laughed at him. They could see the outline of Linebeck standing atop the mast as the ship sank, still shaking his fist at the Gerudos and swearing up a storm. When the ship disappeared beneath the water, Linebeck swam his way to shore where he stomped, shook his fists and continued shouting obscenities at the pirates. The Postman and Sakon watched as the pirates shot a cannonball at Linebeck which landed dangerously close, hitting the sand with a dull thud. Linebeck let out a yelp and sprung away from the cannonball, then gave the pirates an extremely rude hand gesture.

Sakon let out a giggle then gave The Postman a smirk. "_Sooooo, darling, ready to meet Precious yet?_"

The Postman stared at where Linebeck's ship had once been then at the remaining pirate ship. His shoulders slumping in defeat, he frowned.

"It's not going to work."

"_Just go see him and then decide what you think. See what he can do before you make any decisions. I tell you, his work is pure magic_!"

The Postman let out an aggravated sigh. "Fine." he replied. "I'll talk to him but I'm not making any promises."

Sakon clapped his hands together in pure glee, earning him a look of death but the thief didn't care, giving The Postman a wide grin.

"_Come on, I'll show you where he lives_."

"Isn't it rather late?" The Postman questioned.

Sakon waved off that notion. "_Darling, most of his clientele are villains, he's used to people knocking on his doors all times of night. It's fine, trust me."_

The Postman glanced across the inky black water of the bay towards the pirate ship where jeering could still be heard from onboard. He didn't like the idea of blatantly deceiving the pirates but now it looked like he had no choice. Giving another sigh, he turned the horse and headed away from the beach, Sakon looking quite pleased with the situation.

The Postman allowed the horse to simply canter, knowing it needed to rest soon and didn't want to overdo it. By the time they reached Ikana Canyon, it was well after midnight and The Postman had slowed the horse to a walk as it was covered in a sheen of sweat and wheezing hard and he knew he had to rest it.

"Where exactly are we going?" he asked.

"_You're the one with the freaky mail powers, you tell __me__ where he is_." Sakon said with a grin. "_Where does Precious live_?"

The Postman hadn't put much thought into finding Sakon's friend since he usually only sought people out when he had mail for them and considered it. After a moment he pointed ahead of them.

"He's straight ahead in a secret cave in the wall of the canyon."

Sakon's grin widened. "_That's so freaky that you can do that_." he commented. "_How is it even possible? You're like a human compass or something_."

The Postman gave a shrug.

The Postman stopped the horse just outside the seemingly seamless canyon wall and dismounted as Sakon floated beside him.

"_Knock twice, pause a few seconds then knock three times_." Sakon directed. "_He'll open the door for you._"

The Postman tied the horse to the nearest tree then approached a spot on the canyon wall. He stared at it a moment, wondering how anyone would be able to hear a knock through a stone wall. Raising his hand, he knocked twice, his hand barely making a sound against the stone. He paused a moment then knocked three more times. Almost immediately, the wall slid open with a loud grinding noise, revealing the hideout.

"_Quick, go in before it closes again_." Sakon ordered.

The Postman stepped inside and blinked at the unexpected sight inside the cave. Silks of purple and pink were draped from wall to wall, and lavish, expensive looking furniture decorated the room making it seem more like a palace than a cave. Art and elaborate decorations covered every wall and Sakon laughed at his expression.

"_This is nothing, you should see how he decorates the place for holidays_!"

The Postman wandered a bit deeper into the room, watching how the lit torches seemed to make everything in the room sparkle and felt rather out of place.

"Er...hello?" he called out to the seemingly empty hideout.

"Hold your horses!" Yelled out a high-pitched voice from another room. "I'm coming! You come here this time of night, you can wait five minutes while a lady makes herself presentable!"

The Postman hesitated and looked over at Sakon who grinned devilishly at him. Not sure what else to do, The Postman took a seat on one of the extravagant couches to wait as the cave door slid closed. He didn't have to wait long before a figure in a fluffy pink bathrobe came out from the other room, looking a little bit dishevelled. The woman in front of him was middle-aged, greying and held herself with all the confidence of royalty, her posture and make-up perfect despite obviously having been sleeping just minutes before. The Postman stared at her a moment uncertainly. At least he was sure she was a woman...

The woman stared back at him, interest sparking in her blue eyes. "Well, now," she said as he stood to greet her. "You're not my usual type of customer."

She approached him slowly, her hips swaying provocatively as she looked him up and down. "I haven't seen you around here before." she stated. "What can Precious do for you, Honey?"

The Postman's eyes widened. THIS was Precious? Didn't Sakon say Precious was a man? Looking over at Sakon, he saw the thief grinning, clearing enjoying this first meeting. The Postman looked back at Precious, and looked the figure over once more. Although upon first inspection, Precious did in fact appear female complete with breasts and make-up, The Postman could now see certain male traits which could not be hidden. The very beginnings of stubble were on Precious's chin and an adams apple was very prominent on his neck.

"Cat got your tongue, sweetie?" Precious asked in obvious amusement, standing just before him. "Am I that frightening?"

"_Don't offend Precious_." Sakon warned. "_Tell him that I sent you_."

"No sir-"

Precious narrowed his eyes so The Postman quickly amended.

"No, ma'am."

This seemed to satisfy Precious who smiled at him and took a step closer. "What can I do for you? Are you lost, little kitten? You're very out of place here."

The Postman was inclined to agree but instead he cleared his throat and said. "Um, Sakon sent me. S-Ma'am."

Precious cocked his head, blond and silver ringlets falling in front of his eyes as he considered this. "Sakon, you say? And how do you know Sakon?"

"_Don't answer that_." Sakon instructed him. "_It's a trap. Villains never reveal how they know one another. Tell him you're here for the 'full' treatment_."

"I'm here for the full treatment, ma'am." The Postman said, not exactly sure what that was. "Sakon told me to come."

This instantly interested Precious. "Really? The full treatment?" he questioned. "Are you sure?"

The Postman glanced at Sakon who nodded.

"Yes, ma'am."

Precious let out a delighted laugh and reached out a perfectly manicured hand towards him. He ran his fingers along The Postman's cheek as he looked him over thoughtfully, then removed his hat. As fingers pulled at his hair, The Postman shifted uncomfortably but Sakon quickly waved his hands for him to stay still.

"_Don't move_." Sakon ordered. "_Precious is evaluating you and deciding whether you're worth his help or not. Don't screw this up."_

Precious' fingers found the burn on his neck and he turned The Postman's chin so he could get a better look. He pressed on the burn, feeling the heat emanating from it then removed his hands, giving The Postman a curious look.

"So, you belong to Ganondorf." he stated. "You really don't seem the type to work for him, but who am I to label a person? I know you can't judge a book by its cover."

Precious looked The Postman up and down once more, his eyes thoughtful as he considered him. "This is a big job." he commented. "And I'll definitely have to do something about those eyebrows; they look like dead caterpillars. You have a good facial structure and you're thin enough to work with but it's still going to be a lot of work..."

"_He's thinking about it_." Sakon said. "_Compliment him, tell him he's dazzling and sexy and he'll cave and do it for you_."

The Postman gave Sakon a withering look, clearly not wanting to do any such thing.

"_Just do it_!" Sakon ordered.

The Postman hesitated and looked Precious up and down, trying to think of a compliment he could give. "Um," he began very uncertainly. "You have very nice..."

"Yes?" Precious prompted, smiling up at him.

"You have very nice taste in decorating." he decided. "Your home is very lovely."

Precious gave his hair a ruffle. "Thank you, honey, I do it all myself! You're such a sweet little thing!" he commented. "However did you get involved with the likes of Sakon?"

"_Don't answer that, he's still testing you_." Sakon told him. "_Ask about the full treatment again. Keep his mind on business._"

"Will you give me the full treatment, ma'am?" The Postman asked politely. "I really am in quite a hurry."

Precious rolled his eyes. "All my customers are in a hurry, sweetie, that's why they come to me in the first place. This job won't be cheap, how will you be paying?"

"Put it on Sakon's tab." The Postman replied.

"_Hey_!" Sakon protested. "_He's going to jack up the price if you do that! Don't put it on my tab!_"

Precious crossed his arms and gave him a suspicious look. "I don't normally like doing tabs, kitten, how do I even know you're really with Sakon?"

"He'll pay double."

Sakon let out a cry of outrage as Precious' eyes lit up eagerly.

"Alright, sweetie, I think we can do business. This isn't going to be easy but I'll make a woman out of you yet!"

"_I can't believe you told him I'd pay double_!" Sakon complained. "_I'm going to have to actually pay that!_"

"What kind of woman were you thinking of?" Precious asked. "Any particular look?"

"_Tell him fairy princess_." Sakon said with a scowl. "_It'll suit you_."

The Postman was not about to say that so instead he shrugged. "I don't know."

"No matter, I'll be able to come up with something for you." Precious assured him. "Now be a dear and grab that pot of wax off the fire for me."

"Wax?" The Postman questioned, doing as he was told and carefully taking the pot by the handle. "What do you need wax for?"

Sakon hummed innocently. "_You really don't want to know_." he commented. "_You're not going to like it._.."

"Follow me, honey." Precious instructed, gracefully making his way across the room. "And please remove your shirt."

The Postman looked down into the pot of boiling wax, quickly putting two and two together and glanced at Sakon who was clearly enjoying this.

"_Better do as he says or he might try to do it for you_..." Sakon warned, giving him a cheeky grin.

Following Precious across the room, The Postman set the pot down on a nearby table and watched as Precious laid out several tools, all of which looked suspiciously like torture devices.

"Come on, honey, off with the shirt and please lay on the table."

The Postman stared down at the strange contraptions then hesitated. "Is this really necessary?" he asked. "No one's going to see me that closely anyway..."

Precious made an impatient sound and crossed his arms. "Sweetheart, who's the professional here?" he scolded. "It's the small details that complete the package. I can't have a lady with hairy arms and legs walking out of here."

The Postman glanced down at one of his arms. "I'm not that hairy..."

Precious flicked some of his long ringlets over his shoulder and motioned for The Postman to come closer. "Don't argue with me, kitten. Trust me on this. Precious always knows best when it comes to these things."

Sakon didn't say a word, simply watching in obvious amusement. He was floating just behind Precious where he'd get the best view and The Postman gave him a glare as he removed his shirt. Precious hummed to himself as he stirred the wax and The Postman watched him uneasily as he spread some of it on a thin strip of cloth. Not saying a word to him, Precious stuck the strip of cloth onto The Postman's bare chest and pressed it down firmly. The Postman looked down at the strip on his chest, suddenly deciding that he changed his mind.

"Um, I think-OW!" The Postman yelped out as Precious yanked the strip off.

"Hmm? What was that, honey?" Precious asked, sticking a second strip onto his chest.

The Postman stared down on the now hairless spot on his chest and only had a moment to contemplate that before the second strip was ripped off.

"AH!" The Postman protested.

A third strip was applied and quickly ripped off and The Postman was sure nothing was worth this torture. Seeing his expression, Precious let out a tittering giggle and gave his head a reassuring pet.

"Relax, sweetling, I'm almost done with your chest." Precious assured him. "The chest is always the worst spot."

The Postman grimaced but allowed Precious to continue and two strips later, he was finished.

"You're nowhere near as hairy as some of my usual customers." Precious commented. "Some of them are practically apes."

The Postman stared down at his hairless chest thoughtfully and Precious gave the wax-pot another stir.

"Okay, honey, flip over so I can do your back!" Precious instructed with a large smile.

"But-"

"You're doing fine, the back won't be as bad, I promise." Precious said, preparing the next strip.

"_He's lying_." Sakon said, with a smirk. "_It's going to be just as bad_."

The Postman flipped over and gave Sakon another dirty look. "Does Sakon get this done when he comes to you?" he asked curiously.

"Of course." Precious replied, applying the strip. "I have to force him into it every time though. I've never seen anyone cry as much as him during a simple waxing!"

Sakon's mouth dropped open. "_Don't tell him __that_!" he protested to deaf ears. "_Whatever happened to client confidentiality?_"

"Really." The Postman stated, giving Sakon a smirk of his own.

Precious ripped off the strip with a nod. "You'd swear I was killing him the way he wails every time. If he didn't make such a lovely lady, I probably wouldn't even bother."

"_I do not cry_!" Sakon protested. "_He's just making up stories for dramatic purposes_!"

The Postman closed his eyes as another strip was ripped off and said nothing more as Precious worked on his back. When Precious moved onto his arms and legs, The Postman tried to distract himself and asked.

"Have you known Sakon a long time?"

Precious paused a moment as if trying to decide whether to answer him.

"_You don't ask about things like that_!" Sakon scolded. "_He could throw you out right now if he wanted! Don't be so stupid! Villains aren't supposed to ask personal questions!_"

"I've known Sakon longer than even he realizes." Precious stated thoughtfully.

Sakon frowned. "_What's __that__ supposed to mean_?_ He can be so weird sometimes_."

Precious didn't elaborate and continued his work in silence as The Postman gave a wince. After a few minutes and several strips later, Precious let out a satisfied hum.

"Alright, kitten, sit up now so I can deal with your little eyebrow and sideburn problem then we're all done."

As The Postman sat up, Precious slapped several strips onto his face and The Postman suddenly realized that this was really going to hurt.

"Why do we have to-AHHGH"

Precious gave him a satisfied smile. "There we go, sweetie, all done. This was the worst of it so now we can move onto the fun stuff."

The Postman rubbed at his newly waxed eyebrows with a frown, still wanting to change his mind over the whole thing.

"Now what's your colour, honey?" Precious asked, setting aside the wax.

"My colour?"

"_He wants to know what colours you look best in_." Sakon replied.

"I'm not sure..." The Postman answered honestly. "I've never thought about it..."

Precious let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. "You're such a man." he commented.

"What's Sakon's colour?" The Postman asked curiously.

Precious smiled. "Emerald green to match his gorgeous eyes." he responded. "Put that man in anything green and his eyes stand out like evening stars. Such pretty eyes."

Precious leaned in so he could get a look at The Postman's eyes. "I can work with brown eyes just as well as green. With your skin-tone I'm thinking we should go with lilac or perhaps a pale blue. Stand up so I can get your measurements."

"_He's always going on about eye colour_." Sakon informed him. "_He's a bit obsessive_ _about things like that."_

The Postman stood to his feet and watched as Precious circled him with a measuring tape while humming a cheery tune. Once he had his measurements, he seemed satisfied and gave The Postman a pat on the shoulder.

"I have the perfect dress in mind for you, sweetie. It'll fit you like a glove. I'll be right back."

Precious disappeared into a back room and The Postman exchanged a look with Sakon.

"There has to be a better way than this." The Postman said with a sigh.

"_Too late to back out now_." Sakon replied. "_Precious will hunt you down and beat you if you leave before he has his fun. Let him do his thing and it'll surprise you_."

"Exactly how often do you come here anyway?" The Postman asked.

"_Er...sometimes you need a really good disguise to hide out for a while. A thieves life isn't always sunshine, you know_."

"This isn't going to work."

"What was that, honey?" Precious asked, gliding back into the room, arms full of fabric. "Are you doubting my abilities?"

"No one will ever believe I'm a woman." The Postman stated, despite Sakon's frantic waving to shut him up.

Precious raised a delicate eyebrow as he set down the fabric on the table next to him. "You've never seen my work I gather." he stated. "It's your first time so I'll choose not to feel insulted. Now come here so I can compare colours."

The Postman approached and obediently stayed still as Precious grabbed up a dress and held it against him. Precious immediately wrinkled his nose and tossed the dress aside and grabbed up another. He cocked his head one way then another as he considered it then threw that one away as well. The third dress obviously pleased him greatly as his eyes lit up and he gave The Postman a toothy grin.

"I knew this would be the dress for you!" he exclaimed. "Lilac is definitely your colour!"

The Postman frowned at the very tight looking dress. It would be impossible to be inconspicuous while wearing such a thing and he gave Precious an uneasy glance.

"The back is open...and the arms are bare." he stated. "It shows so much skin...Wouldn't a less...revealing dress be better?"

Precious gave him an annoyed look. "You are hardly the expert on the matter!" he scolded. "Wearing too many clothes is a common mistake men make. They try to cover too much of their bodies instead of showing them off. Wear this, follow my directions and no one will even question you."

The Postman was still skeptical. "But-"

"Put this on, honey. I'll show you what I mean. Trust me."

"_Go ahead, put on the dress_." Sakon encouraged, obviously leering.

The Postman hesitantly reached out and took the dress. Precious was staring at him so intently, he felt he had no choice so he unzipped the dress and slipped it over his head. As he adjusted it until it was straight, Precious helped him zip it up then looked him up and down with a nod.

"Very nice fit but we still need to give you breasts." he commented. "People will be sure to notice if you're too flat-chested."

"Um, exactly how-"

"Oh, that's easy, sweetie." Precious assured him. "I have a special bra that'll do the trick for you or I also have a potion that will give you real breasts. Whichever you prefer."

The Postman's eyes widened as Sakon snickered at his expression.

"Take a deep breath, sweetheart." Precious ordered. "You look like you're about to faint."

"Just the bra is fine..." The Postman said, unable those words had actually just left his mouth.

"Now, applying the make-up is extremely important so you have to pay close attention to what I show you." Precious informed him as he pushed him down onto a stool. "You have to be very careful when applying make-up because it's the key to all of this. Too much and you look like a whore and too little and you're a man in a dress."

As Precious pulled out jars and tubes of all sorts, The Postman found himself in a bit of a daze. He stayed stock-still as Precious went on to him about the different layers of make-up he was applying and their importance but The Postman heard none of it. The horror of the situation was beginning to find him and Sakon floated over and seated himself in front of him in concern.

"_Relax._" he urged him. "_Everything will go fine; Precious' work is always amazing. The pirates won't be able to tell, I promise._"

The Postman took a deep breath, hoping he wasn't doing all this for nothing. It would be extremely embarrassing to walk up to the pirate ship and then be asked why he was in a dress.

"Look up, sweetling, and don't blink. I need to apply your mascara."

Doing as he was told, Precious applied the mascara in record time then began applying eyeshadow and eyeliner. Precious had obviously done this thousands of times before because within seconds he was looking over his completed work.

"Very nice." he commented. "You do look very lovely in that dress."

"Am I done?" The Postman questioned.

"A little patience, kitten, my magic takes time. Let me find you a wig then I'll let you have a look."

As Precious left the room once more, Sakon leaned in to get a better look. "_You look like one of your sisters_." he commented. "_But not one of the pretty ones_."

"Is it going to work?" The Postman asked. "Do I look like a woman?"

"_Hmm, well, I've seen worse looking women_..." Sakon stated. "_I think you'll be fine_."

"Is it good enough to fool the pirates?"

"_I managed to fool them but I'm an amazing actor. As long as we pay them, I doubt they'll look at you all that closely_."

"I don't even know how to act like a woman..." The Postman complained.

Precious entered the room carrying a wig and some sort of bra and gave him an amused look. "Of course you don't, dear, that's what I'm for."

Precious placed the wig onto The Postman's head and began fastening his real hair into it, holding it in place. Once he was sure it was secure, he adjusted it to his liking then gave The Postman a pleased smile.

"Ready to see yourself?" he asked. "I think you're going to be surprised."

The Postman accepted the mirror thrust into his hands and looked into it, not sure what to expect. The face that stared back at him was not a familiar one and he felt a little bit unnerved. Long brown hair, fell beside his face which was so made-up he never would have recognized himself.

"I really do look like one of my sisters..." he observed, reaching up a hand to his cheek.

Precious swatted his hand away. "Don't touch, you'll smear your make-up." he scolded. "And I gather it meets your standards?"

The Postman stared at his reflection wondering if anyone would be able to tell. "Yes, ma'am." he replied. "You did a good job."

"Good, now stand up and put this on." Precious ordered, holding out the bra. "This will fill out the rest of that dress nicely."

The Postman took the bra and stared down at it a moment before standing to his feet to see if he could figure out how to put it on. Once he had it on correctly, Precious adjusted it a couple times then helped him zip up the dress again.

"There we go, sweetie, much better." Precious said, looking him up and down. "Now you have to be careful with how you walk or hold yourself or you'll give yourself away. Show me how you're going to walk."

The Postman hadn't considered that and walked a few steps experimentally. Precious immediately shook his head.

"No, no , no!" he cried. "You're a woman, you have hips, so act like it!"

"_Like this_." Sakon said, demonstrating for him by walking a straight line in the air.

He walked with all the grace of an upper-class woman and The Postman crossed his arms.

"I am not walking like that."

"Unless you want to get yourself caught, you'll learn to act like a lady!" Precious scolded. "Now try again. Foot over foot."

The Postman let out a sigh and did his best to imitate what he'd seen Sakon do. Precious gave him a nod.

"Good first try but don't use your hips too much. It'll draw you unwanted attention. Don't think about how you move, feel it. When you're standing still, put all your weight on one of your legs and it'll make it look like you have more of a figure. Now try again."

The Postman walked a line as ordered and this time it seemed to please Precious.

"Good, good. I think you'll do fine. Now when you speak, don't try to make your voice higher, simply make it softer. Your voice doesn't have to be high to be a women's but it can't be too harsh either. Pretend you're speaking to a pet or small child when you soften your voice, it'll help."

The Postman nodded, glad he wouldn't have to put on a fake voice. Precious looked him up and down thoughtfully then grabbed a white silken scarf. He tied it carefully around The Postman's neck hiding the burn then gave a nod.

"There we go, kitten, you're all done. You make a fine lady and as long as you're careful, no one should notice."

The Postman gave a nod as Sakon circled him like a shark, looking him over with a toothy grin.

"Thank you." he said. "I appreciate it."

"Be careful out there, sweetling, I don't want to hear about you getting killed. I expect you to be a repeat customer from now on!"

The Postman pretended he didn't hear and Precious shoved a purse into his hands.

"All the make-up you'll need for a few days." he said. "Take care of yourself."

The Postman gave a nod and picked up his shirt and hat from the nearby table. Precious walked beside him to the door of the cave wrapping his housecoat a bit more tightly around himself. "Tell Sakon I expect payment by months end." he said.

The Postman gave a nod as Sakon scowled. "I'll tell him." he assured him.

"_Why did you have to promise him double_?" Sakon complained. "_Do you have ANY idea how expensive Precious' services are_?"

The door to the cave slid open and Precious leaned against the doorway, watching him leave with a smile.

"Come back soon, honey!" he called after him as the door closed.

Once he was alone, The Postman approached the horse tied beside the cave and began untying the reins.

Sakon gave him a loud mocking whistle. "_You've never looked so sexy, darling_." he commented with a laugh. "_Ever think about a career change_?"

The Postman gave him a withering glare as he mounted the horse. "Don't push it Sakon. I can still change my mind."

"_Okay, fair enough_." Sakon relented, still looking incredibly pleased with himself. "_But I think you should drop by the wedding reception to see if anyone recognizes you_."

The Postman's eyes widened at the thought of any of his family seeing him dressed like that and he felt a shiver make its way up his spine. "No, Sakon."

As The Postman turned the horse away from the canyon, Sakon pointed out across the dark canyon. "Head towards my secret lair; we need a bit of cash to bribe the pirates with."

"It's hardly a secret." The Postman pointed out. "I've delivered mail there before."

"Just do it, princess." Sakon ordered with a sigh, sprawling onto the back of the horse.

The Postman could see a lot of similarities between Sakon and Precious and wondered just how often the two of them hung around one another. Looking down at himself, The Postman let out another shiver and urged the horse towards Sakon's hideout.

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**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

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Sakon totally lied. He had a miserable time on that pirate ship. He learned there are downfalls to pretending one is a lesbian.

**Reviews Make the Author Happy**


	6. Pirates!

**Authornote:  
**

**Wow, you guys! I got sooo many new watchers, reviews and PM's last chapter! I'm glad you all seemed to like it! :D  
**

**A big thank you to:  
**

**Reiz16 **

**The Empty Lord  
**

**Nocturne of Eclipse**

**Pie Bot  
**

**Arsenic Cupcakes **

**ChocolateMilkLOL **

**Guest (Who i think might be Light Sakura) :D  
**

**Toolazytologin**

**So I have no excuse as to why this chapter is late. I got shamelessly distracted by side-projects which I may or may not decide to post here. I'm also working on a collaboration with Reiz16. Hopefully next chapter will be out in a few days.  
**

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**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
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**Ballad of The Postman **

Pirates!

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**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

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The moment they entered Sakon's hideout, torches sprung to life creating eery arcs of light across the otherwise black room.

"See that sparkly black stone in the wall?" Sakon asked, pointing.

The Postman nodded, distracted by how itchy his dress currently was. He adjusted it a bit as Sakon floated further into the room.

"Tap that stone twice before you pass it or else you'll activate the flamethrowers."

The Postman stopped his scratching and eyed the stone warily as Sakon drifted ahead to show him the way. "Hurry up." he ordered. "We still have to negotiate with the pirates for your passage."

Sakon's hideout was much bigger than one would expect and The Postman led the horse inside without any trouble. Sakon frowned at the horse but still waved him forward.

"If hellhorse craps in here, you're cleaning it up."

The Postman approached the strange black stone in the wall and hesitantly tapped it twice as directed. There was a loud click then Sakon motioned him deeper into the hideout. He pointed to another stone on the far wall and said.

"Tap this one five times and it'll open the passage to my real hideout. This one's just for show."

Leading the horse over to where Sakon pointed, The Postman tapped on it five times and the wall immediately slid open with a loud grinding noise.

"Why does everyone have such elaborate lairs?" The Postman asked, thinking of Precious' hideout.

Sakon gave a shrug. "The hero of time kept poking his nose where it didn't belong so all of us villains stepped up security." he explained. "He can be a bit of a nuisance for the common criminal."

The Postman released the horses reins as he followed Sakon through the doorway, his gaze instantly falling on an enormous pile of rupees and jewels laying in the far corner of the room. Sakon noticed where he was staring and puffed out his chest proudly.

"Pretty impressive, right?"

The Postman frowned at the treasure. "Where did you get this?" he demanded.

"Do you really have to ask?" Sakon inquired in surprise. "Exactly what do you think my profession is?"

The Postman gave the treasure a look of disapproval. He could only imagine how many villagers had been robbed to get a pile that large. Sakon leaned closer to him and squinted at him thoughtfully for a moment.

"Huh." he commented.

"What?" The Postman demanded, not sure he really wanted to know.

"Nothing...it's just for a second there, you looked exactly like your mother. You've perfected her glare to a tee."

The Postman crossed his arms self-consciously, very aware that he was wearing a dress. Sakon laughed at his expression and crossed his arms in imitation.

"Aw, don't worry about it darling; you'll always be the bell of the ball with or without the dress!"

The Postman didn't dignify that with a response so Sakon gave him a smirk.

"Fill a wallet full of silver rupees. The pirates aren't going to be cheap."

Resigned, The Postman approached the loot and grabbed an empty wallet off the top of the pile. He quickly discovered kneeling down in a dress was far more difficult than one would think. His balance thrown off, he felt like he was going to topple over as he picked out the silver rupees. Sakon watched him in amusement then chuckled as he stumbled, trying to straighten up.

"Hopefully the pirates don't ask you to pick anything up." he stated, shaking his head. "You'll be discovered from sheer awkwardness."

"I'm a postman, not a professional drag-queen." The Postman responded, tying the wallet closed.

"Right, well Mr. Not-a-drag-queen, I want you to drag my body over to that bed. I want it kept safe while we're away."

The Postman was getting a bit tired of being ordered around and let out a sigh. "Does your body need to be watered or anything to keep you alive?"

"I'm not a plant, darling." Sakon pointed out. "And no, I think my body will be fine until I'm reunited with it. It was in a hot desert dungeon for two days without water so I think it'll be fine."

The Postman glanced over at the horse who was busy eating the contents of a fruit bowl and approached it. Reaching up, he grabbed one of Sakon's arms and gave it a hard tug, sending it toppling to the ground.

"Hey!" Sakon protested. "Watch it! I'd appreciate it if you didn't break my neck!"

The Postman dragged the body over to the small cot in the corner and then pulled it up onto it. Adjusting the body into a more natural position, he gave another glance towards the horse, who was now chewing various items on the bookshelf.

"The horse is eating your books." he stated to Sakon who was scowling at it.

"The books were here when I took over the lair." Sakon replied, still not looking very happy over it. "Let's get going now before hellhorse destroys the place."

The Postman took the horse by the reins and gave it a tug, pulling it away from the bookshelf and then led it out of the room.

"Tap the stone twice to close the door." Sakon instructed him. "And don't forget to reset the flamethrowers."

The Postman did as he was told then awkwardly mounted the horse, still not used to wearing a dress. The moment he rode outside, the cave door slid shut automatically, the canyon wall looking seamless once more. Sakon glanced up at the sky which was quickly growing lighter then frowned.

"Better hurry up. The pirates will sail at sunrise."

The Postman gave a nod and urged the horse to go faster as they headed back towards the field. As they left the canyon, Sakon observed how The Postman was trying to find a comfortable position on the horse and snickered in amusement.

"You're wearing a dress, darling, you should try riding side-saddle. It's more lady-like that way."

The Postman shifted again and shook his head. "I'm not riding side-saddle."

"Well, you have no one to blame but yourself if you're uncomfortable then." Sakon responded with a shrug. "And you better not rip that dress."

The Postman said nothing, instead keeping his eyes focussed ahead as they crossed the field. He could see a small group of people with lanterns walking ahead and it wasn't until he was passing them that he saw they were several of his brothers and sisters. Horrified that they'd recognize him, he turned his face away and forced the horse to go even faster. He heard one of his brothers make an exclamation of surprise but didn't turn to see if they had recognized him. Feeling his cheeks burn in pure humiliation, he kept his gaze on the ground as they made their way towards the bay.

"I think the next time you see your family they might have a few questions for you..." Sakon said sympathetically.

The Postman simply let out a groan.

"Relax, you can just claim you had a nervous breakdown from being overworked." the thief assured him. "With the way you've been acting, they'd believe it."

The Postman wanted to remind Sakon that all of this was his fault in the first place but instead, gave another groan. He had a lot to explain to his family when he got back. The bay came into view and the enormous ship of the Gerudo pirates was docked and being loaded. They were obviously almost set to leave as the last few crates and barrels were being carried up the gangplank. The Postman dismounted and slipped Sakon's backpack over his shoulders. Giving the horse a shove to send it on its way, he gave an uncertain look to Sakon.

"They're not going to be fooled by this." he said. "My voice isn't feminine enough."

Sakon let out a snort at that. "You don't even have a deep voice." the thief pointed out to him. "Just do as Precious told you and speak softly. All the pirates care about is what's in that wallet."

Feeling incredibly nervous, The Postman slowly began approaching the dock and just as the pirates loaded the last crate, they saw him. They paused what they were doing to openly stare.

Not sure what to say, The Postman scratched at one of his arms awkwardly

"Um, hi." he greeted, throwing on a thick northern accent.

Sakon simply stared at him, not expecting the accent.

A pirate with short spiky hair stepped into view and crossed her arms. She was covered with more scars than The Postman had ever seen and had several piercings in each ear. She stared down distrustfully at him then asked.

"What do you want, girl?"

"The first mate." Sakon said, pointing up at the woman.

"I'm looking for passage to the Southwest." The Postman called up to her.

"We're not taking passengers." she responded, about to turn away. "Especially not of your kind."

"May I speak with your captain, Miss?" The Postman asked. "I really do wish to board with you."

The first mate's eyes widened. "Of all the impudence, you cocky little mainlander! Who says the captain would speak to the likes of you?"

"The captain will speak to anyone who wishes to talk business." Sakon said. "Tell her that."

"I was told your captain is a woman of business?" The Postman questioned. "I wish to strike a business deal with her."

"Don't waste our time." the first mate said impatiently.

"Zaira, who are you speaking to?" a loud voice demanded. "What's going on here?"

"Just some peasant girl trying to board with us, Captain." the first mate, Zaira, explained. "She thinks she can just come to our ship and talk business!"

"I will see anyone who we can profit from." the captain snapped. "You are not in charge of whom I deal with. Remember your place, Zaira."

Instantly Zaira disappeared out of view. "My apologies, Captain."

A woman then stepped up to the side of the ship who could be no one other the captain. She wore a large elaborate sailors hat, complete with feather and she was dressed much finer than the others. She wore boots that went up to the thigh, her clothes new and unblemished. Muscles could be seen even through her shirt, stopping any thoughts that she wasn't very capable of taking care of herself. She stood, hands on hips as she stared down at him, her expression nothing short of disdainful.

"What do you want of us?" she demanded, her yellow eyes narrowing to slits. "What is this business proposition you speak of?"

The Postman adjusted his hold on the wallet and held it up for her to see. "Please, miss, I'm looking for passage to the Southwest."

The Captain stared down at him a long moment then asked. "What is your business to the Southwest?"

"I'm looking for someone." The Postman answered allusively.

The Captain crossed her arms suspiciously. "Who?" she demanded.

"Just someone."

"You're being awfully evasive for a civilian." she observed. "I'm no fool and I know you're up to something. It's just the matter of me deciding whether I care or not."

"Don't blow this!" Sakon hissed at him. "This is the only boat for miles!"

"I imagine you can appreciate my want for confidentiality." The Postman answered. "You yourself are a woman of business."

"You assume much." the captain answered. "There's no reason for us to take you. I could order my crew to slaughter you right now and there would be nothing you could do to stop them."

The Postman nodded. "That's true." he admitted. "But there's also no reason for you not to take me. One more crew-member wouldn't make a difference."

"Stop messing with her!" Sakon warned. "She's going to stab you if you keep this up!"

The Postman wasn't very familiar with pirates but he was very familiar with the desert Gerudos. The pirates and the raider were of the same race and he hoped there would be enough similarities between them. His answer came when the captain gave him a smirk, her posture relaxing somewhat.

"From where do you hail?" she asked curiously. "Your accent is strange to me."

"North." The Postman lied with a shrug. "I come from a tiny village in the mountains."

His accent was flawless and the captain scratched at her chin as she considered him. "Pirates don't venture far from the water." she told him. "I've never been to the mountains."

The Postman had been counting on that as he hoped his strange appearance would be disregarded due to foreignness.

"What is your name, girl?" the captain demanded.

The Postman hesitated as he hadn't thought of that. The captain frowned at him thoughtfully when he didn't answer.

"You intrigue me, I'll admit, and that's no small feat. You must be wanted if you're so afraid to give me your name. Pirates are all wanted." she stated. "Tell me, can you fight?"

The Postman shook his head truthfully. "No, miss."

The captain let out a snort. "Women in this country are weak and pathetic." she stated. "They run to a man if they need help and are so soft and coddled they can't even defend themselves!"

The Postman wasn't sure what to respond to that. "Sorry?"

The captain adjusted her hat so she could get a better look at him. "You're built like a stick." she observed. "You don't look like you've had a hard days work in your life."

The Postman was instantly offended. "I most certainly have!" he defended. "I've worked hard since I was eighteen!"

The captain raised a brow skeptically. "Doing what exactly?"

Sakon peered over The Postman's shoulder. "Darling, I think she means manual labour. I doubt running around with a mailbag counts."

The Postman frowned, disagreeing entirely. He worked very hard at his job and felt he deserved at least a little bit of credit.

The captain noticed his expression and gave him a frown of her own. "I don't take useless cargo on my ship." she informed him. "You'll just get in our way."

"I won't."

The captain tapped her foot as she stared down at him thoughtfully. "How much is in that wallet?" she asked.

Without a word, The Postman opened the wallet so she could peer inside. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the silver rupees and her resolve seemed to be wavering.

"I don't like taking passengers." she informed him. "We've had several bad experiences in the past."

Sakon let out a snicker. "Aw, she remembers me! How sweet!"

"I won't bother anyone." The Postman assured her. "I'm not interested in causing trouble."

"Fine." the Captain relented. "We'll take you but you better not cause us any problems. I'll throw you off the ship if I so much as sniff trouble from you."

"Thank you, miss."

The Captain gave him another frown then turned and disappeared from view without another word. Sakon gave him a pleased smile.

"Way to go, darling, you won her over! Better hurry up and get on board before she changes her mind."

Adjusting the heavy backpack, The Postman carefully balanced across the gangplank and stepped onto the ship. Every pirate stared at him in a mixture of curiosity and disapproval but none said a word to him. Zaira looked him up and down then rolled her eyes and reached out to take the wallet.

"There's an extra hammock in the store-room you can use." she stated. "My advice to you is to stay there as much as possible and don't get in our way."

The Postman had every intention of staying far away from the pirates , so he gave a nod.

"Nimah, show her where she'll be sleeping." Zaira ordered a nearby pirate. "And don't let her touch anything."

Nimah gave a nod and motioned for The Postman to follow her, looking bored and tired. The Postman accompanied her down into the ship, looking all around himself curiously. He'd never been on a boat before and stared at the strange equipment not sure of their purpose. The sleeping quarters were dark, damp and smelled like rotten seaweed but The Postman didn't say a word as Nimah led him to a small room off of the main area. The storeroom was considerably drier and shelves lined with jars and barrels filled the room. Nimah pointed at a hammock in the corner of the room then said.

"You're to stay here. There's no room for you in the other room. Don't touch anything and don't bother anyone."

The Postman nodded. "Yes, miss."

They felt the ship lurch as it began moving and Nimah grabbed a mug off a shelf and approached one of the barrels. She filled the mug full of the foamy amber liquid from the barrel then took a seat on top of it. As she gulped down about half, she gave The Postman a warning look.

"You saw nothing." she snapped. "If anyone asks, I was helping you set up the hammock."

"...yes, miss."

Nimah gave a grunt and took another gulp. The Postman approached his hammock and set down the heavy backpack, as Sakon stared jealously at the mug of ale.

"Nothing is better than pirate ale." he commented wistfully. "It's so strong it can get you drunk in like five minutes. I love it."

The Postman didn't answer him, not really wanting to sound like a crazy person in front of the pirate and instead stared at the hammock, wondering how he was going to crawl onto it in a dress. Frowning, he hesitantly placed a hand on it, testing its strength as the pirate watched him lazily.

"Why are you wearing a dress on a ship anyway?" the pirate demanded. "That's just asking for trouble."

The Postman sighed. "Long story."

The pirate was far more interested in her ale and gave him a shrug. "Just so you know, if you tell the captain about me pinching supplies, I'll deny it and blame you."

"I won't tell." The Postman assured her. "I don't really care."

The pirate held up her mug with a smirk. "Good deal then." she replied, draining the rest. "I have to get back before someone notices I didn't return. Take my advice and stay out of our way for the entirety of this journey."

"Yes, miss."

The pirate replaced the mug of the shelf, belched loudly then left him without a word. Sakon was snickering and gave The Postman an amused look.

"I love pirates." he stated.

The Postman very, very carefully laid down in the hammock, hoping it wouldn't break. The ropes weren't in the best of shape and they made a dry sort a creak as the hammock swung under his weight. Sakon seated himself on the other side of the hammock and gave a lazy stretch. They were silent for several minutes then The Postman asked a question which had been on his mind.

"So...now what?"

Sakon gave a shrug. "Dunno. Guess we just wait for some sort of sign?"

"A sign?" The Postman questioned. "What makes you think there's going to be a sign when we're close?"

Sakon gave him a look as if he were a moron. "There's always a sign when one's on a quest. I think it's required or something."

The Postman was skeptical. "Fine. While you're waiting for a sign, I'm going to sleep."

"There's a bunch of bloodthirsty pirates above our heads who would torture and kill you if they found out you're a man and you're going to take a nap?"

"Yes."

It had been two days since The Postman had actually slept well and as far as he was concerned, the quest could wait. Sakon gave him a look of disbelief then shrugged.

"Whatever you say, darling, but don't blame me if you wake up dead."

"How could I wake up dead?" The Postman questioned. "The dead don't wake."

Sakon gave a snort. "Tell that to the redeads."

"Why don't you scout out the pirates and be useful?" The Postman suggested, adjusting the lumpy pillow into a more comfortable position.

Sakon grew thoughtful. "Hmm, maybe I can watch a few get dressed..."

The Postman wasn't going to respond to that and rolled over slightly, so he was facing the wall. As he closed his eyes, he said.

"Wake me if anything happens."

"Easier said than done, darling. You sleep like a rock but I'll do my best."

Exhaustion taking over from the past 2 days, The Postman closed his eyes and felt himself relaxing. Just as he was drifting off, he heard Sakon say.

"I won't let anything happen to you."

The Postman however forgot all about it as sleep overtook him.

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There was a tremendous crash and the entire pirate ship shook from the force. The Postman woke with a start and fell out of the hammock, gazing all around in surprise and confusion. There were deafening booms which caused the floorboards to vibrate that could only be from the cannons. The Postman looked all around but Sakon was nowhere in sight. He was completely alone in the storeroom.

Getting to his feet with difficulty as the ship rocked, swayed and shook, The Postman realized what was happening. The ship was being attacked!

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	7. The Attack

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:  
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**********You guys have NO idea how fun it was to write this chapter. I started this chapter last night with the intention of just doing a bit and ended up writing almost the entire thing in one sitting. I finished the rest today and I hope everyone likes it. There's a lot of action in this chapter!  
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**********As always, I'm very happy to thank my wonderful reviewers who never fail to keep me motivated! You guys are great! :D  
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**********A huge thank you to:  
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**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Light-Sakura**

**Pie Bot  
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**Toolazytologin  
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**ChocolateMilkLOL  
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**Don't forget to read and review and I'll hopefully have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D  
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**Ballad of The Postman **

**The Attack**

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There was another deafening boom from overhead which caused the ship to jerk to one side violently and The Postman fell against one of the storage shelves hard. Several glass jars shattered to the floor as The Postman caught himself and he looked up, suddenly very afraid that the ship was going to sink.

Holding onto shelves as he made his way towards the door, The Postman wondered where Sakon was. Had the thief disappeared again? Was Sakon here but he was just unable to see him? Hoping that wasn't the case, The Postman pulled open the storeroom door and entered the pirates' sleeping quarters. Clothes and belongings were strewn everywhere and several hammocks had fallen from the walls into tangled messes. The Postman carefully made his way through the room, holding onto the wooden support beams and made it to the stairs just as there was another colossal boom.

Scrambling up the stairs, he peered out and his eyes widened at what he saw. The deck was in complete carnage, pirates running to and fro, injured and bloody with swords drawn. Smoke from the cannons covered the deck like a blanket, making everything seem distorted and all the more frightening. Holding tightly onto the railing as he squinted in the darkness, he could just make out the shape of another ship across the water. The smoke swirled around the water thickly, and when it cleared just enough for him to make out what the attacking ship was, he let out a gasp. The sails were in the Hylian national colours, the mark of the golden crown clearly shining out in the darkness. It was a royal navy ship, the men on board the best Hyrule had to offer.

The Postman now had a very, very bad feeling about this and glanced around the ship. Several guardrails had been blasted off but there didn't appear to be any damage as of yet. All six of the pirate's cannons were being fired over and over but neither side could see to aim because of the smoke.

With every deafening blast from the cannons, the ship jerked violently from side to side sending pirates toppling head over heals onto the deck. Every pirate was bruised and battered, but none slowed in the least and got back to their feet time and time again. The Postman clutched tightly to the railing as the ship tilted dangerously and he felt cold spray from the ocean cover him. Wet and stunned by the scene before him, The Postman could only stare at the battle silently, unsure of what to do.

"What are you doing out here?" demanded an angry voice from behind him.

Looking over his shoulder, he saw the pirate captain standing just behind him, scowling at him fiercely. One of her arms was bleeding heavily from a piece of wood lodged deeply into it and she clenched her rapier tightly with her good arm.

"Get back below deck, girl before you get yourself killed!"

She didn't wait for a response however and ran off, shouting orders to the gunners. As The Postman watched her disappear into the smoke, there was an immense boom and the crows nest exploded from above, falling to the deck in an burst of flaming splinters. Sheilding his eyes as bits of wood landed all around him, he looked out across the water and to his surprise, he saw Sakon. The ghost was hovering out on the water between the two ships and seemed to be pulling and tugging at the smoke. With surprise, The Postman realized Sakon was the reason the smoke wasn't dissipating; he was trying to keep the pirate ship hidden. Sakon's face was a mask of concentration as he struggled with the smoke and it looked as if he was actually succeeding. The naval ship kept firing but missed because they couldn't see where the pirate ship was. Sakon finished with the spot he was currently working on and glanced back to see where he was needed next. His gaze caught The Postman's and his eyes widened.

Sakon shouted something to him, but because of the loud howling wind between the two ships, he couldn't hear a word he said. Sakon yelled again, looking frustrated but was once more drowned out by wind and cannon fire. The Postman hesitantly stepped onto the deck and gazed across the water at the other ship. A cannonball zipped by his ear and again Sakon yelled at him furiously. The Postman found he couldn't look away from the battle, and glanced across the deck at the pirates who were seriously outgunned.

He saw the pirate captain standing among the pirates, yelling out orders, her eyes wild and angry. He approached her curiously as she levelled him with a glare, the pirate obviously demanding to know what he thought he was doing. He heard another scream from Sakon and turned just as a cannonball was fired. Realizing it was going to hit the captain, The Postman reacted quickly and threw himself at her, knocking her hard to the deck. There was a crash as another guardrail exploded and he winced as he felt a piece of the wood stab deeply into his shoulder. The captain shoved him off of her then glanced towards the broken guardrail, quickly realizing what had happened. She frowned down at him but said nothing as she quickly barked out another order to her pirates.

The Postman looked up with a wince and saw Sakon hovering just over him.

"Moron!" Sakon yelled at him furiously.

He kicked a foot through his head harmlessly then pointed back below deck. "You're going to get yourself killed! Stop being a dumbass and go back to the storeroom!"

"You can move smoke?" The Postman questioned. "When did you learn to do that?"

Sakon gave him a proud smile. "Someone has to be useful on this team!" he responded. "Now be a good girl and go back below deck!"

The Postman saw the smoke was quickly dissipating and the navy could now clearly see them. He pointed towards the smoke.

"Sakon!"

Sakon turned, saw what was happening then let out a curse. He flew back to the smoke as fast as he could and started pulling on it again, reforming it. The navy ship was much better equipped than the pirate ship and The Postman knew something had to be done fast or they'd sink the ship. Staring at Sakon as he formed the smoke into a wall, The Postman got an idea.

Rushing to the guardrail, he waved his arms to get Sakon's attention who paused to stare at him. Knowing the thief wouldn't be able to hear him, The Postman moved his arm in a circular motion and pointed to the navy ship. Sakon cocked his head, not understanding. The Postman used his arm to make the motion of circle and again pointed to the ship. Sakon understood, gave him a nod and grabbed a hold of the smoke, yanking and tugging it over to the naval ship. Once Sakon had managed to get the smoke where he wanted, he began spinning it around the ship tightly, so it was completely encased in the thick smoke. The navy could no longer see them but the pirates could see the naval ship since they were directly in the centre of the spinning smoke.

The Postman continued motioning for Sakon to try to keep it going and he didn't realize the pirate captain was watching him. She stared between him then the strange event taking place with the smoke but didn't question it.

"FIRE!" she bellowed. "FIRE!"

The gunners all fired the cannons and everyone heard the loud crunch of shattering wood from the other ship. The mast fell and crushed part of the ship, their cannons now destroyed and instantly every pirate cheered. Without their sails, the navy ship was completely at their mercy and the pirates had won.

"ALRIGHT, LET'S BOARD HER!" the captain yelled. "COME ON, MOVE IT!"

Sakon floated back over to the ship, his job done and seemed incredibly proud of himself. "Take that!" he cheered. "One point villains, zero for the good guys!"

The Postman leaned against the guardrail heavily and watched as they came up beside the other ship. He was aware that he was hurt and bleeding but couldn't seem to look away from what was about to happen. He could see the other ships crew staring across at them swords drawn and The Postman realized they were not going to give up peacefully. The pirate ship was stopped directly beside the naval ship and immediately dozens of pirates swung across the gap and laid gangplanks down, connecting the two ships.

The pirates let out a loud war cry as they drew their swords and fearlessly lunged at the soldiers. The ship was a swarm of movement and blood and slowly The Postman raised a hand to his mouth in horror. These were the good guys he was watching being brutally murdered and he had helped it happen. Sakon was excitedly pumping his fists into the air, urging the pirates on and he didn't notice how pale The Postman was starting to get.

"Get 'em! Get 'em!" he cheered. "Come on!"

The Postman saw man after man cut down mercilessly and after only a few minutes, the pirates were in obvious control. What drew his eye however, were the two captains which stood in the centre of the chaos, swords drawn circling one another. Both radiated power and control as they sized one another up and no one dared near them. The pirate captain bared her teeth in a hateful snarl and made the first move, lunging at the other captain, sword poised for the kill. The naval captain deflected the attack and took a stiff and proper stance as he retaliated, stabbing at her mercilessly. The pirate captain jumped nimbly away, her own stance relaxed and confident.

The Postman watched her swing at the other captain as fluidly as water, her eyes cold and calculating as she watched his every move. Their swords met with a loud clash of steel and the pirate then smiled widely, this being what she lived and breathed for. Their swords met again and again, both excellent in the trade and both evenly matched in strength. They circled one another slowly and the pirate captain once again threw herself at the other captain, sword aimed for his throat. He side-stepped her and thrust his sword towards her chest, the pirate dropping to the deck and rolling out of the way, slashing out at him viciously. Her sword caught him across the leg and he stumbled a bit at the unexpected pain. That being all the time she needed, she sprang up, throwing all of her weight against her sword, stabbing him straight through the stomach.

The naval captain froze in both shock and pain and slowly looked down at the sword protruding from his stomach. The pirate captain smiled at him wickedly then used a boot to push him off her sword and watched as he fell hard to the deck. Reaching down, she pulled him up to his knees by the hair and raised her sword high above her head. Letting out a yell of victory, she brought her sword down, cleanly severing the head from the body. Staring down at the head a moment, she tossed it down beside its body then turned to join the other pirates in their fight. The fight had lasted only minutes, the pirate captain far more experienced and bloodthirsty than the noble naval captain.

With their captain dead, the men were directionless and didn't stand a chance against the pirates. After only a few minutes, the navy surrendered, their numbers drastically reduced. They dropped their swords to the deck and all were forced to their knees as the bloody and enraged pirates surrounded them. The naval ship was ransacked, barrels and crates loaded onto the pirates ship fast. The pirate captain stood among the carnage proudly looking like a bloody goddess, her clothes torn and sword dripping but her expression calm and collected. Once the last of the supplies had been taken, she gave the men kneeling at her feet a cruel smirk.

"STRING THEM UP!" she yelled, brandishing her sword high.

The pirates gave a loud frightening yell of glee as they snatched up whatever rope they could find and grabbed a man of their choice. The Postman couldn't seem to avert his gaze as he watched the men hung one by one until the entire crew dangled by the ships side, some still twitching as they fought for life. He was still staring as the pirates returned to the ship and when they finally set sail once more he took a deep breath then promptly fainted.

He must have only been out for a few seconds because he heard Sakon swear then someone give him a sharp kick in the side. As someone turned him over, he opened his eyes blearily and saw several pirates gathered around him. The captain pushed her way through them and frowned down at him. Her gaze settled on his bloody shoulder and she knelt down beside him.

"Someone take her to the medical bay. The fool's gotten herself injured."

The Postman instantly shook away his dizziness. "No!" he yelled out in a panic. "I'm fine!"

He hurriedly sat up but let out a wince when he realized his fall had shoved the piece of wood in even deeper. The captain gave him an impatient look.

"You're bleeding all over the deck. You are not fine." she stated. "Take yourself to the medical bay or I'll have you dragged there. This is an order."

The Postman looked over at Sakon who seemed completely panicked, unsure of what to do.

"You're gonna die! Oh, goddesses, they're going to kill you!" he cried out. "The doctor will see you're a man!"

The Postman had no choice, so he carefully got back to his feet, stumbling a bit as he stepped on the edge of his dress. He was quite surprised when the captain reached out a hand to steady him.

"Go with Zaira." she ordered. "Once you're seen to, I want to discuss your disobedience when I told you to remain below deck."

"He saved your life!" Sakon yelled out angrily. "Ungrateful witch!"

The Postman simply nodded, knowing he was going to be found out. "Yes, miss."

He turned his gaze to the first mate who was still breathing heavily and was obviously tired, but her eyes were still bright with excitement. Several new scratches adorned her arms but she didn't even seem to notice and motioned for him to follow her. She led him to one of the cabins and kicked open the door carelessly, in a considerably better mood than the first time The Postman had dealt with her.

She pointed to a wooden bench then said. "Alright, dress off and lay face down."

The Postman didn't move. "Surely there's others who are more injured?" he questioned. "Shouldn't you see to them first?"

Zaira gave a shrug. "Probably, but they'll just drink it off and come to me later. You, however are so weak and pathetic that you'd likely die before morning."

The Postman shook his head disagreeing. "No, I'm feeling much better now, miss. I'll just be on my way and let you join the others in celebrating."

Before he could react, Zaira lashed out at him with the flat of her sword and hit him solidly across the thigh. The Postman let out a yelp of surprise and Zaira narrowed her eyes ever so slightly.

"The captain gave you a direct order and you will obey, girl. She wants you seen to, so you will be treated!"

"But-"

She gave him another smack from her sword. "Now, girl! On that bench!"

Sakon scowled at the pirate. "Kill her then jump overboard!" he suggested.

"No!" The Postman answered, horrified at even the thought.

Zaira's eyes glinted dangerously "What did you just say to me?" she hissed out dangerously.

The Postman balked, realizing it had sounded like he had been talking to her. "Wait, no!" he cried out, as she grabbed a hold of him roughly and threw him bodily onto the bench. "I wasn't-"

He was abruptly cut off as she brought the flat of her sword down over and over across various parts of his body. Despite himself, The Postman let out a very unmanly shriek and Zaira paused.

"Are you going to cooperate or do we need to continue?"

Knowing he had no choice either way, The Postman nodded. "I'll cooperate." he answered, his voice just a bit strained.

"Good, you wimp, now off with the dress and stay still."

Zaira turned away to gather various medical supplies and The Postman realized his luck at the fact she wasn't watching. Incredibly sore and knowing he was probably covered in welts, The Postman hoped he wouldn't bruise.

Keeping his eye on the pirate warily, he carefully unzipped the dress and pulled it down to the small of his back, wincing at the pain in his shoulder. Leaving the padded bra on, he laid flat on the bench as Sakon hovered over him worriedly.

"She's going to notice!" he cried. "How could she not? She's a doctor, she's going to notice!"

Zaira turned back around with a armful of supplies and nodded in approval when she saw he'd done as asked.

"Alright, let's take a look at that shoulder." she said, approaching.

She gently wiped away as much blood as she could then reached for something on the nearby table. She thrust it into his face and he instinctively took it, and saw that it was a flask.

"Take a drink of that." she instructed. "This is really going to hurt."

"...what is it?" The Postman asked.

Zaira gave him an impatient look. "It's ale, now drink it or I'll rip that piece of wood out before you're sufficiently numbed."

"Drink it." Sakon ordered, looking over his shoulder. "It looks pretty bad and if they do execute you, you'll already be numb and won't feel much."

"I don't drink." The Postman answered with a frown.

"You're a fool." Zaira stated, picking up a pair of plyers. "You're going to regret it."

The Postman closed his eyes to brace himself but nothing could have prepared him for the excruciating pain to come and he let out a howl. He could feel Zaira wiggling the piece of wood back and forth as she tried to get it out and The Postman felt dizzy with pain. Not caring anymore, he opened the flask and chugged the whole thing down, wincing at the horrible taste. The Postman had never had a drink before and almost instantly he began feeling more lightheaded and slumped to the bench bonelessly, not even noticing when Zaira continued yanking at the wood.

Sakon squinted at his glassy eyes then gave him a look of disbelief. "Did you just get drunk off one shot of ale?" he asked. "That's actually pretty impressive."

The Postman stared at him uncomprehendingly and gave a slight squirm against the pain in his shoulder. He could still feel it but it seemed to be dulled somewhat and he was much too hazy to do much about it.

"Stay still." Zaira ordered, shoving down on his back to hold him down.

The Postman only let out a grunt.

"There's no real damage but you're going to be sore for a few days." she told him. "I've almost got all the splinters out."

"She's right." Sakon told him. "It doesn't look as bad as I thought now that most of the wood is out. There's a lot of blood but the cut isn't huge."

"Good 'cause it's your fault." The Postman said, trying his best to focus on Sakon.

"Uh, darling? You just spoke to me out loud."

"Don't care."

Zaira pulled the last sliver out of his shoulder then tipped up his chin so she could take a look at him. She stared at his unfocussed eyes then raised an eyebrow.

"Huh." she stated. "Interesting."

She bandaged his shoulder with practised ease then approached a water basin to wash the blood off her hands. "You're done." she told him. "By the sounds of it, the crew are already celebrating, so you may leave and join them."

To Sakon's horror, The Postman sat up with Zaira still standing there and fumbled clumsily at the dress, struggling to right it. After a few moments of unsuccess, he let out a frustrated sigh.

"Stupid breasts, they're getting in the way." he complained, his Northern accent so thick now, he could barely be understood. "Have'ta go shirtless."

"What? No, you drunk moron!" Sakon yelled at him. "Put on the stupid dress and stop flashing the doctor!"

Zaira gave him another look of disbelief but luckily didn't stare at his chest too closely. "How in the world are you so drunk?" she demanded. "That flask was only half full!"

The Postman thought really hard for a moment then gave a clumsy shrug.

Rolling her eyes, Zaira approached and yanked up his dress in a business-like fashion and helped him get his arms back through the sleeves. Sighing irritably, she zipped it up then pulled him to his feet.

"Now get out of here." she ordered. "Or I'll tell the others you stuff your bra."

"Not my fault I'm flat-chested." The Postman muttered, taking a wobbly step towards the door. "Not everyone can be built like a shelf."

"I think it's best if you just stay quiet, darling." Sakon suggested. "You've just had the luck of the goddesses so I wouldn't push it."

The Postman had never had a drink so he had never been drunk before and was having trouble making sense of what was going on. He fought to think rationally but his mind just didn't want to clear. His vision was distorted and as he attempted to walk, his legs didn't seem to want to cooperate and he stumbled against a table, knocking the contents onto the floor. Zaira let out a loud curse at him and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him away from the sharp objects he'd just knocked everywhere and let out an exasperated sigh.

"Why did the captain ever agree to take something as useless as you with us?"

The Postman thought about it. "Cause I could lie better than her?"

Zaira rolled her eyes as Sakon's mouth dropped open.

Still gripping him by the arm, Zaira led him out of the cabin where they were immediately met with the sight of a huge wild celebration. Every pirate had a mug of ale and several were playing music as the entire crew sang loudly good-naturedly. The deck was amass with movement and dance and The Postman couldn't help but frown at the pirates.

"Celebrating death." he stated in disapproval.

"No." Zaira corrected. "We're celebrating life. We won the battle and live to see another day. No matter the circumstances, we will always fight to survive. If you were a pirate, you would understand this."

Zaira dropped him down onto a large coil of ropes where he sagged limply and watched as she crossed the deck towards the captain. She pointed towards him and motioned taking a drink of something then everyone laughed. The captain stared over at him, took a long swig of ale then approached. She stood over him a long moment, simply staring down at him as she drank and he stared blankly back.

"I told you to stay below deck and you disobeyed me." she began. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't have you flogged."

The Postman squinted up at her. "Because I'm too drunk to feel it?" he guessed.

"Shut up!" Sakon yelled at him. "Just keep your mouth closed!"

The captain however gave a laugh and took another swig from her mug. "True enough." she stated. "I'd hate to waste a perfectly good flogging. What you did tonight was beneficial to us so I suppose I could give you a reprieve."

The Postman slumped further into the rope, simply staring at her.

"How did you do the trick with the smoke?" she asked. "A useful trick i must admit."

"I didn't do it." The Postman answered.

The captain raised a brow. "I saw you." she stated. "You were at the guardrails directing it."

The Postman shook his head, his mind too fuzzy to think clearly. "No, that wasn't me." he said. "I was just helping a bit. I think."

"Indeed." the captain said, realizing he was too drunk to get proper answers out of. "We'll talk again in the morning. Enjoy the celebrations."

Without another word, she disappeared back into the crowds, leaving him to himself. Sakon floated in front of his vision and kicked at him angrily.

"Stupid!" he yelled. "Stop talking to people if you can't control what you say! You're going to get yourself killed! I'm surprised you haven't already been caught!"

"Sorry."

Sakon gave him a glare. "You're too drunk to be around people right now. Go back down to the storeroom and sleep it off."

The Postman hesitated then struggled to sit up. "Kay."

"I hope you realize you're never going to live this down." Sakon told him. "I'll still be laughing about it when you're old and senile. I'm going to tell everyone in both Hyrule and Termina that you got drunk off one single shot of ale and started complaining about your breast size."

"Kay."

The Postman managed to sit up then looked up to see a pirate standing over him, giving him a curious look. She held out a full mug of ale to him.

"Here." she offered. "You deserve a drink after what you did for the captain."

"Don't you dare take that!" Sakon warned. "If one shot gets you this drunk, a mug will probably kill you!"

The Postman gave his head a shake. "No, thank you, sir." he said politely.

The pirate cocked her head at the sir.

"It's customary." she informed him. "Every crew member must accept any share of ale offered to them. It's extremely disrespectful if you don't."

The Postman looked over at Sakon who was still shaking his head. "Um, no thank you?" he tried again.

The pirate frowned and thrust it into his hands. "You're not one of us but that doesn't mean you can disrespect our ways. Drink it."

The Postman stared at the huge mug of ale then back at Sakon who seemed extremely nervous. Hesitantly, The Postman brought the mug to his lips and took a sip. It didn't taste as bad as the first time and was cold so under the watchful gaze of the pirate, he drained the enormous mug. Setting down the empty mug clumsily, his vison was quickly spinning and before he knew it, he flopped backwards, unconscious.

"He's dead!" Sakon cried out in despair. "I knew it! I knew this would happen! They killed him!"

The pirate knelt down next to The Postman and gave him a hard nudge, causing him to give a very unladylike snore. Sakon let out a breath of relief. The pirate let out a snicker and Sakon quickly realized she'd been planning that the entire time. She stood and left The Postman laying there, still laughing to herself.

Sakon took a seat next to The Postman who was now making a noise akin to a Moblin and watched as the pirates drank, sang and danced throughout the night until they too fell unconscious. Staring at all of the half empty mugs, Sakon let out a heavy sigh and felt considerably lonely.

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	8. A Pirate's Life For Me

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:  
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**********Hello, everyone! Here's another chapter for you! Not too much happens in this chapter but it leads up to something I promise! :)  
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**********As always, I'm very happy to thank my wonderful reviewers who never fail to keep me motivated! You guys are great! :D So many reviewers this time! It really brightened my week!  
**

**********A huge thank you to:  
**

**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Light-Sakura**

**Illusionary Path  
**

**Toolazytologin  
**

**ChocolateMilkLOL  
**

**gnoemchen**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll hopefully have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman**  
A Pirate's life for me

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The Postman was having the strangest dreams he'd ever had in his entire life. Visions of death, destruction and oceans danced through his mind but he couldn't make sense of any of it. In the dream he was floating above the ocean, staring towards a never ending beach. He could make out the faces of dead men, lined up like toy soldiers on the blood soaked sand as far as the eye could see, their expressions blank as they stared up at him. Their necks were bent at an unnatural angle and they pointed towards a mountain far across the island. The Postman stared across the island, hearing a strange echoing tune swelling all around him. The more he focussed on the mountain, the louder the music became seemingly encouraging him. The mountain was shrouded in mist and just for a moment he thought he saw something strange flying through it, something that looked suspiciously like a whale. It was then that he felt someone shake his shoulder.

The Postman shifted slightly as he was shaken hard but couldn't seem to push aside the heavy veil of sleep. Someone gave him a kick in the side and he let out a groan of protest but still didn't move. He then felt someone or several someones move him. Not especially caring, The Postman lost consciousness again. This time he did not dream.

When he finally woke again, he instantly regretted it, certain that he was going to die. He let out a loud moan of agony and curled in on himself, covering his head with his arms.

"You alive yet?" Sakon asked into his ear.

Without opening his eyes, The Postman swatted at him. "Too loud." he complained.

Curling up even tighter, he rubbed at his temples, feeling like his skull was splitting open. He could sense Sakon staring at him and let out another groan.

"You've been asleep all morning." Sakon informed him. "You should probably get up and take care of that hangover."

"Shh." The Postman grumbled, pulling his pillow over his head.

He had no intention of moving. All he wanted to do was curl up in some dark corner and die. He certainly felt like he was.

"I think I'm dying." he complained.

Sakon let out a giggle. "No," the thief corrected. "Dying would be much less painful. It's just a hangover."

"Why would someone do this to themselves?" The Postman demanded. "It's horrible!"

"Being drunk is fun, the day after...not so much."

Pulling the pillow down even tighter, The Postman moaned pathetically. "I'm never drinking again." he whined. "Ever."

Sakon suspected The Postman really would follow through with such a promise and wasn't surprised. "Come on," he urged. "Get up. Lying here won't do you any good."

"I disagree."

"Take it from the man who's spent half his adult life drunk; eat some toast, drink lots of coffee and get some fresh air."

The Postman's stomach turned at the thought of food. "Ugh."

"Trust me, it'll help." Sakon assured him.

"Go away." The Postman growled. "You're making my headache worse."

"The pirates are making lunch right now." Sakon informed him. "You haven't eaten anything in a couple days and that won't help your hangover. They're making some sort of greasy looking sausages and eggs. Unless you're trying to starve yourself, I suggest you go get some."

The image of a dripping, greasy sausage entered The Postman's mind much against his will and he felt his stomach lurch. He sat up hurriedly and his eyes snapped open, ignoring how the light stabbed into his skull. He was going to be sick. Almost falling out of his hammock in his haste, The Postman ran for the door, both hands over his mouth as his stomach churned. As soon as he entered the pirates sleeping quarters, he realized he was never going to make it to the deck in time. Grabbing the nearest thing he could find, which happened to be someone's satchel, he coughed and retched into it as Sakon hovered over his shoulder.

"You couldn't have found anything better to puke in?" he demanded. "Whoever owns that is going to kill you!"

The Postman only let out a miserable whine, feeling like he was hacking up his spleen. When he was finally finished being sick, he looked up and saw a pirate sitting across the room watching him. She was in her hammock, open book on her lap and looked clearly amused. She then gave a shrug and went back to her book. She read for a moment then paused, a thought having occurred to her.

"Don't tell her it was you that did that." she said. "It'll be funnier that way."

"Sorry." The Postman said, wiping at his mouth. "I didn't mean to."

"Don't apologize to me, it wasn't my stuff." she stated, then paused again as she thought about it. "...and don't throw up on my stuff."

"Whose was it?" The Postman questioned, feeling rather bad.

"One of my sisters." the pirate responded nonchalantly, turning a page in her book. "She had it coming."

Sakon gave a laugh. "I like her." he stated.

Another wave of nausea hit The Postman and he quickly grabbed the satchel again. Since he hadn't eaten, there wasn't anything for him to throw up and he continuously dry-heaved, his entire body in agony. Sakon wrinkled his nose at him then let out a sigh.

"You look a mess and your make-up is all smeared. You should reapply it."

The Postman briefly glared up at him but continued to hack into the satchel. When he was finally finished, he let out a miserable moan. The pirate across the room turned the page in her book then gave him another glance.

"The captain wants to see you." she informed him. "You should probably clean yourself up before she sends someone to look for you."

"See me?" The Postman questioned a bit uncertainly. "Why does she want to see me?"

The pirate gave him a look of disbelief. "Exactly how much did you drink last night?" she asked. "Don't you remember anything?"

The Postman thought about it but it hurt to think so he shook his head. "No, not really." he admitted.

"You should probably avoid our ale in the future." she suggested. "There's a water basin and mirror over on the wall you can use to clean yourself up if you like."

The Postman gave a nod. "Thank you miss."

"She's kinda hot, in a geeky way." Sakon stated, staring at the pirate thoughtfully. "Too bad she has those glasses..."

Ignoring the thief, The Postman went back into the storeroom and began hunting around for the makeup purse. He found it underneath one of the storage shelves and pulled it out, brushing off his dress as he stood back up. Looking himself up and down, he saw the dress had several tears and had blood at the shoulder where he'd been stabbed.

"Think this can be repaired?" he asked.

Sakon gave a shrug. "Doesn't really matter. Have you seen the outfits the pirates wear? Their clothes are practically rags tied together. I doubt they'll say anything to you."

Seeing that he had a point, The Postman left the room and found the water basin and mirror the pirate had pointed out. Scrubbing the old make up off his face with difficulty, he then opened the bag and peered inside at all the strange tube and jars. Randomly grabbing one and opening it, Sakon immediately scolded him.

"No! You don't put the blush on first! Geez, weren't you paying attention?"

"No." The Postman admitted.

Sakon let out a longsuffering sigh. "Put the foundation on first."

The Postman stared uncertainly into the bag so Sakon pointed at the correct tube. He walked The Postman through the correct process of reapplying the makeup and watched him carefully to make sure he was doing it correctly. When he was satisfied, he gave a nod.

"There you go, darling, you're beautiful once again!"

The Postman couldn't wait until he was off the pirate ship and could tear the dress into many small pieces. Turning around, he glanced towards the stairs, supposing he should go see what the captain wanted. The pirate in the hammock looked up from her book as he passed by.

"When you're done speaking with the captain, you should come back down and play cards with me."

The Postman hesitated. "Not to sound rude, miss, but won't the others get angry at you for staying down here so long?"

The pirate held up one of her legs and for the first time The Postman saw it was severed cleanly below the knee. It was obviously an old wound as it had long since healed but The Postman still felt uncomfortable.

"I'm not much good to them right now." she said. "I lost my prosthetic in the fight last night and I'll have to wait to get another one. Until then I have to amuse myself."

"I'm sorry about your leg." The Postman said with a frown. "It must be hard."

The pirate narrowed her eyes. "I didn't ask for your pity, I asked for a game of cards." she snapped. "We pirates are stronger than you take us for. A missing limb is nothing for us."

"Of course, miss, I meant no disrespect. I can play cards with you if you like when I return."

The pirate leaned back in her hammock. "Tell the captain Samirah wants to know if she can have her ale rations for the day."

The Postman gave a nod as he continued towards the stairs. Sakon was staring back at the pirate thoughtfully as he floated after The Postman then he commented.

"I changed my mind. I don't care about the glasses, she's perfect. Whenever men dream about female pirates, she's the definition. Once she's gets a new pegleg, she'll be awesome."

"You're demented."

Sakon smiled. "Thank you."

The Postman rolled his eyes and stepped up onto deck instantly regretting it as the sunlight seemed to stab through his skull. Closing his eyes and letting out a groan, he hoped his hangover wouldn't last all day.

"Incoming pirate!" Sakon warned him.

The Postman didn't even care, the sun too bright to open his eyes at the moment. The pirate gave him a hard poke in the side and The Postman flinched away from her.

"Are you still drunk?" she demanded.

"No." The Postman responded, opening his eyes a tiny crack.

He could just make out the blurry form of a pirate and was pretty sure it was Zaira. She stood hands on hips then let out a snort.

"How is that shoulder of yours doing?" she asked.

"It's fine, miss. Just a bit sore."

He opened his eyes a bit further, trying to get them used to the bright sunlight but it was still agonizing.

"Once you see the captain, I want to take a look at it again to make sure it's healing right."

The Postman gave a nod.

Zaira pointed to the large cabin. "The captain is in her cabin. You'd better go see her before she gets any more impatient."

The Postman nodded once more and turned towards the captain's cabin.  
"You realize you can't go to that scary, scar lady a second time, right?" Sakon questioned. "It's a miracle she didn't notice you were a man the first time and there's no way she won't notice the second time. She was probably distracted last night because of the battle but there are no distractions this time."

"I know." The Postman responded. "But I'm not sure what I can do about it."

"Easy, hide every time she comes near. You only have to avoid her until we jump ship."

The Postman frowned. "And when will that be?"

"Dunno."

Rubbing at his eyes with a sigh, The Postman couldn't imagine this turning out well. He noticed all of the pirates were bandaged in some way but seemed to be in good spirits and he wondered how they did it. Surely they drank far more than him last night? No one seemed to pay him any mind as he made his way towards the cabin and when he reached it, he raised a hand to knock. Wincing at the sound, he rubbed at his temple as he waited for a response.

There was a pause then "WHAT?" came the grouchy response.

Slowly pushing open the door, The Postman peered inside and saw the captain speaking with another pirate at a small conference table. One of the captain's arms was in a sling and she had a bandage across her cheek and The Postman remembered that she'd been injured the night before. She glanced up at him then motioned for him to take a seat to wait until they were finished speaking. Doing as requested, The Postman slowly sank down into one of the conference chairs and glanced around the room.

The cabin seemed to be both the captain's personal quarters as well as where she conducted business. Books and charts lay strewn about the room on every available surface and The Postman found himself studying them curiously. He noticed several of the maps were incorrect and looked down at the one laying in front of him. It was a map of Hyrule with several different landmarks noted but there were mistakes on this chart as well. It was bothering him and he frowned down at it.

Glancing up at the captain, he saw she wasn't paying him any attention so he picked up a quill off the table and dipped it into an inkwell.

"What are you doing?" Sakon demanded. "You don't mess with a pirate's maps!"

"They're wrong." The Postman whispered.

"So? How is that your problem?"

Ignoring him, The Postman began correcting the outline of Hyrule. Sakon watched him a moment then said,

"Remember that thief I mentioned, the one who the pirates hung by his intestines?'

The Postman paused and gave a nod.

"Well, if they catch you doing that, that's going to be you."

The Postman slowly set down the quill. Sakon gave a nod of approval and took a seat on top of the table.

"I never told you the whole story about that thief, did I?"

The Postman shook his head, not sure he really wanted to know.

Sakon seemed lost in thought a moment before he answered. "We boarded the ship together, I was pretending to be his wife. He was a real decent thief by the name of Talak and I had known him for years. He was actually the one who had shown me how to pick-pocket when I first started my criminal career and we teamed-up every now and then. He had heard about hidden treasure on a faraway island from a drunk in a tavern and stole the man's map. We were supposed to hitch a ride from the pirates, get the treasure then live the high life as wealthy men."

Sakon paused and picked harmlessly at the table as he frowned. "It didn't exactly go as planned. No sooner did they bring us on board, they seized Talak because of the burn on his neck. They beat him until he was nearly unconsciousness, slit him open and hung him by his own intestines while he was still alive. The weren't going to kill me at first because I claimed to not know about the mark but I didn't think they were going to kill him..."

The Postman had never really considered the possibility of Sakon having other friends and the images of the dead naval crew came back to his mind. Giving a shudder, The Postman felt sympathy for the thief.

Sakon took a gulp then continued. "They would have just let me go but I drank myself stupid right after and was found out. They tried to kill me and I gouged out one of the pirate's eyes and managed to jump overboard."

The Postman wanted to give Sakon his condolences or to at least say something encouraging but he couldn't with the pirates sitting so close to him. Instead, he stared back down at the map of Hyrule in silence.

After a time, the captain finished discussing the previous nights battle with the other pirate and turned her attention to The Postman. She studied him a moment, then stood to her feet as the other pirate left the room. She dug around in one of her desk drawers for a moment as The Postman rubbed at his eyes and when he looked up, she set down a glass of water in front of him with two small white pills. He stared at the pills uncomprehendingly and made no move to touch them.

"For the hangover." the captain explained. "You look like you need it."

The Postman frowned suspiciously at the pills as Sakon peered extremely closely at them then gave a nod.

"They're fine." he assured him. "Just mild painkillers."

The Postman still made no move to take them. "No thank you, miss."

The captain resumed her seat. "Suit yourself, I don't care either way. I have other matters to discuss than your inability to handle your liquor."

"Yes, miss?"

"When we were under attack, we should have been blown out of the water. The other ship was bigger and had a better arsenal than ours." here she paused to give The Postman a meaningful look. "Something strange happened last night that I've never seen before. The smoke from the cannons was staying at water level, shielding our ship from view. At first I thought it was a trick of the wind but then I saw you at the railings edge directing it. You made the smoke envelope the other ship allowing us to defeat it."

The Postman shook his head. "No, that wasn't me, miss."

The captain narrowed her eyes. "Don't lie to me, girl. I saw you with my own eyes! You were moving the smoke and I want to know how you did it! What exactly are you? Are you a sorceress?"

The Postman paused a moment trying to think of way to explain. "It wasn't me who moved the smoke, it was a ghost..."

Instantly the captain's eyebrows rose skeptically. "A ghost? You're telling me it was a ghost who saved us?"

The Postman nodded. "Yes."

Pirates were extremely superstitious and the captain gave a glance around despite herself. "Why would a ghost help a pirate ship?" she demanded. "And why could you see it and no one else? Ae you lying to me?"

"No, miss. I'm of the mountain people and we have very strong connections to the dead. For generations my family have been able to speak with the dead and when we were attacked I asked the spirits to help us. It wasn't me who did anything at all, it was the ghosts who did it."

The captain wasn't sure whether to believe him or not and crossed her arms. "Being able to see the dead is very bad luck." she told him. "I should throw you off board before you doom us."  
The Postman shook his head. "My people are good luck." he corrected. "While I'm on board, the spirits will protect your crew."

Sakon was completely impressed. "You're getting a lot better at lying." he complimented. "I'm such a good influence on you!"

The captain's eyes grew thoughtful as she considered that. "Who was this ghost and why would it help us?" she demanded. "Was it a spirit of a pirate?"

The Postman immediately nodded. "She was a brave and fearless pirate by the name of Sakona the Fearless. She got her name by sailing the seas, killing and looting every ship her crew came across. She was the most feared pirate the world had ever known until one day she met her demise at the jaws of a terrible sea monster."

Sakon gave him a grin. "You're enjoying this now, aren't you?"

"Her legend isn't as well known nowadays but her spirits still dwells, waiting until the day someone slays the monster on her behalf."

The captain stared at him as she thought that through. "Is she still here?" she asked.

The Postman shook his head. "She will only return if we need her."

"Hmm." the captain said, still skeptical. "I'm no fool and I know you're hiding something, I just have yet to figure out what it is. Whether it was you or a ghost that helped during the battle, I am grateful. Whatever happened or is happening I will get to the bottom of it."

The Postman nodded so the captain waved him away dismissively. "That's all for now. Be warned however, that I'm keeping my eye on you."

The Postman got to his feet. "Yes, miss."

As he left the cabin, Sakon let out a giggle. "You made me a pirate! And I got eaten by a sea monster!"

The Postman said nothing, simply wanting to get back below deck out of the sunlight. Squinting as he crossed the deck, he ignored everyone and everything he passed them, hoping Zaira wouldn't see him. As he walked down the stairs below deck he let out a breath of relief at the semi darkness. He saw Samirah still in her hammock, deck of cards at the ready and she gave him an expectant look.

"Did you ask the captain about the ale?"

The Postman winced. "Oh...I forgot..."

She let out an irritated sigh. "Well, now you have to go steal me some. That's the law."

The Postman frowned. "What law?"

"My law." she answered with shrug. "The one where I don't punch you if you get me booze."

The Postman would have liked to point out that the only way she could punch him at all was if he walked over to the hammock but he felt that was too mean. Instead he let out a sigh.

"Okay." he agreed, walking towards the storeroom, feeling resigned. It was just easier to do as she wanted than to argue.

He filled an empty mug full of ale from one of the many barrels then carefully carried it back out to Samirah. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the ale and she immediately reached out and seized it the moment it came within her reach. She took a huge gulp then she froze, her eyes growing wide.

"This is the captain's private ale..." she stated.

"What's the difference?" The Postman asked. "There were over a dozen barrels of ale."

Samirah shook her head. "No. There was only one barrel of the captain's ale and it's only for very, very special occasions. Anyone caught so much as sniffing it can be flogged!"

The Postman frowned at the mug. It looked the same as any ale he'd ever seen and still wasn't sure what the difference was. Sakon saw his confusion so decided to enlighten him.

"A barrel of regular pirate ale costs a purple rupee and a barrel of the really good stuff costs at least 5 orange rupees."

The Postman eyes widened and he again stared at the mug of ale. How could it possibly cost that much? It looked the same!

Samirah quickly drained the mug and tossed it down onto a pile of clothes below her hammock.

"Never mention it to anyone." she warned, scooting herself up into a sitting position. "Now come up and play a game of cards with me. I'm bored."

Staring at the hammock uncertainly, The Postman awkwardly crawled up so he was sitting opposite the pirate as she shuffled the cards.

"What games do you know how to play?" she asked.

"Er...go fish?"

Samirah gave him a look which clearly said her opinion on that. "I'm teaching you to play poker." she said decidedly.

Sakon sat cross-legged in the air. "I love poker!" he exclaimed. "I can teach you to cheat like a pro, darling!"

Samirah dealt him five cards and The Postman looked them over uncertainly as she began explaining the rules to him. He listened attentively then showed her what he had.

"Do I have anything?" he asked.

Samirah let out an exasperated sound and snatched his cards away to reshuffle them into the deck. "Don't show me your cards." she scolded.

"How else will I learn to play?" The Postman asked. "I don't know what the hands mean."

"You'll learn by watching me beat you over and over." she responded.

"I'll help too." Sakon assured him. "Be glad she's giving you a new hand; that one sucked."

The Postman frowned at his new hand then looked over at Sakon for instruction.

"You don't want the two and the six, toss them back and ask to draw two more cards."

The Postman did as he was told and looked at his new hand as Sakon peered over his shoulder. "See how you have three of a kind? That's a pretty good hand. Once she's done, tell her you call."

Samirah drew one new card and seemed satisfied so The Postman said. "Okay, I call."

She showed him her hand which meant nothing to him and he laid out his which she grinned at. "Close but I still won."

"Why?" The Postman asked as another pirate entered the room. She gave them both an odd, questioning look but didn't say anything.

"A flush beats three of a kind."

"What's a flush?"

Samirah frowned at him. "I just told you that like two minutes ago!"

"Sorry."

The Postman let out a sigh, never being one for complicated card games and wondered if he could talk her into playing go fish. Samirah dealt them each a new hand and Sakon once again peered at the hand he was dealt.

"Hmm, get rid of the 3, 7 and 9." he instructed.

As The Postman did as he was told, Sakon snuck a peek at Samirah's cards.

"Pfft, she has crap this time." he glanced at his cards again. "Get rid of that 4."

Once Samirah was done as well, Sakon motioned for him to call. "You'll win this hand." he told him.

"Um, I ca-"

"ARGH! Who the hell threw up all through my stuff?"

The Postman froze and glanced over at the other pirate who was staring at her satchel with an expression of extreme anger and disgust written across her face. Samirah held up her hands to her face as she laughed and instantly the other pirate's attention was fully on them. Her one good eye was narrowed to a slit and Sakon let out a gasp of horror.

"It's the pirate I accidentally almost slept with! Oh crap. Oh crap."

"Did you do this?" she hissed, looking straight at Samirah.

Samirah outright laughed. "And how do you suppose I did that? Did I fly? Don't be a moron."

Slowly the pirate's gaze turned to The Postman. He looked down at the floor guiltily.

"You. Strange girl. Did you do this?" she demanded.

The Postman gulped and slowly looked up to meet her gaze. He wished he hadn't as her glare bore straight into him.

"...I didn't mean to." he answered quietly.

Samirah let out a sigh. "Spoilsport."

The other pirate bared her teeth and stalked over, her fists clenched. "Stupid, dirty little foreigner!" she growled. "All of my clothes are going to have to be washed."

"They probably could have used it anyway." Samirah pointed out.

"You, shut up!" the pirate snarled, pointing a finger at her. "This has nothing to do with you!"

"It was an accident." The Postman said as way of apology. "I am very sorry."

"Are you now." the pirate stated. "And how do you plan on making it up to me?"

"Uh..."

"Don't answer that!" Sakon warned. "It's a trap!"

"I'm sorry, miss, I'll wash your clothes."

The pirate looked him up and down for a moment and seemed thoughtful. Slowly she reached out and ran a hand up The Postman's leg. "You could repay me in other ways..." she said suggestively, her anger seemingly pushed aside for the moment.

Samirah let out a sigh and threw her cards down as The Postman instinctively pulled away, horrified.

"What is with this girl and accidentally hitting on men?" Sakon asked. "You need to run."

The pirate wasn't daunted by his reaction in the least and again felt along one of his legs. "If you make me happy, I can see about forgetting this whole incident."

"NO!" The Postman protested, pulling away. "I mean, no thank you!"

The pirate stepped even closed and groped at his chest. "Who says you get a say in the matter?" she demanded. "There's nothing you can do to stop me."

As The Postman's eyes widened, Samirah gave the other pirate an irritated glower. "Could you kindly not do this on my hammock?"

She was ignored completely as the pirate once again looked The Postman up and down.

The Postman froze as the pirate began crawling up onto the hammock with him and he did the first thing that came to mind, he kicked her as hard as he could. The pirate let out a shriek of surprise and pain as she fell backwards and Samirah let out a low whistle of sympathy.

"Now you've done it." she stated.

The Postman hopped down off the hammock but the pirate was quick to recover and she was now completely enraged. She lunged at him viciously and knocked him hard to the floor and punched at him with all her might. The Postman was well aware he was outmatched and kicked and lashed out as hard as he could, just desperate to make it out of the fight alive. The pirate clawed, elbowed and struck him wherever she could and The Postman knew he was going to be covered in bruises.

"You horrible, little mainlander!" the pirate screamed into his ear. "I'm going to hit you so hard, you'll end up looking like a Zora!"

The Postman thrashed underneath her and to his horror, she grabbed a hold of his wig and gave it a hard tug. It came loose in her hands and the pirate paused in complete confusion as she stared at the hair in her hands then looked down at The Postman. Her eye widened in shock and disbelief.

"YOU'RE A MAN!" she cried out.

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Reviews Make The Author Happy! :D


	9. Caught

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:  
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**********EDIT:  
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**********SORRY GUYS!  
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**********I was trying to fix some spelling mistakes on this chapter and accidentally re-uploaded this! Chapter 10 will be out in a few days So sorry for any confusion!  
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**********Hello, everyone! Okay, I apologize for this in advance but I'm currently on sedatives and had SUCH a hard time trying to concentrate on anything this week! Almost every word I typed i misspelled and had to retype so it took me 500 times longer to write this than it should have. If there's anything wrong with this chapter or if it's boring, i'm truly sorry. This is what the work of a zombie looks like. :S Once my brain no longer feels like mush, i'll re-read this chapter and see if it needs to be fixed. lol  
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**********As always, I'm very happy to thank my wonderful reviewers who never fail to keep me motivated! You guys are great! :D So many reviewers this time! It really brightened my week!  
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**********A huge thank you to:  
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**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Light-Sakura**

**Illusionary Path  
**

**Toolazytologin  
**

**ChocolateMilkLOL  
**

**Mikaufan101**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll hopefully have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

Caught

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There was a long pause as if time itself had stopped where The Postman and the pirate simply stared at one another in complete silence. Sakon appeared in front of The Postman's gaze, his eyes wide with worry and pointed to the stairs.

"RUN!" the thief screamed into his face. "RUN!"

In that instant, everything came back to life and The Postman made a mad scramble for the stairs, determined to escape. The pirate lunged at his legs and he toppled to the ground hard but he kicked and fought to get away, knowing he had to get off the ship as fast as possible. Sakon was yelling at him to fight harder but the pirate was much stronger than him and within a moment, she had him successfully pinned to the floor. His chin was bleeding from the rough floorboards and his arms were twisted at a painful angle and he had no choice but to go limp in her hold or he knew she'd break both his arms. She bellowed for her crew mates and The Postman slowly turned his head to look up. He saw Samirah looking down at him from her hammock in curiosity, her mouth set decidedly into a frown.

Letting out a cry as his arms were twisted, The Postman heard the pounding of feet as several pirates made their way below deck to see what the commotion was.

"Fight! Fight!" Sakon yelled at him. "You have to get away!"

"I can't!" The Postman answered, struggling uselessly.

Four pirates stood at the foot of the stairs taking in the scene in surprise and the pirate holding him, turned her attention to them. "The mainlander was a man!" she yelled furiously. "The wretch played us all for fools! Help me seize him!"

The pirates all instantly surged forward and grabbed a hold of him and roughly pulled him to his feet as he kicked and struggled to no avail. There was a lot of yelling and he was shoved this way and that and he was in a bit of a daze as they dragged him up the stairs. Instantly mob mentality overtook the pirates and the moment they were on the deck, every pirate swarmed over to join in, yelling for his death excitedly. He saw Zaira push through the crowd with the captain and she gave him a look of pure disgust.

The pirates all went silent as they waited for their captain's decision on the matter and she narrowed her eyes at him. There was no pity in her eyes, only cold determination and she crossed her arms, her expression betraying nothing. She looked him up and down slowly, the pirates waiting with baited breath.

"String him up." she stated, not even having to raise her voice.

The cheering was deafening and The Postman felt his stomach drop to his feet. He was completely stunned and didn't even resist as he watched a pirate throw a noose over the mast, tying it securely. A barrel was rolled over underneath it and two strong pirates lifted him so he stood on top of it. The one-eyed pirate took the pleasure of placing the noose around his neck and bound his wrists tightly behind his back. The Postman stared across the crowd of jeering pirates, completely terrified and knew there would be no escape.

Sakon was shaking his head. "Not again. Not again." he murmured to himself, sounding somewhat hysterical. "By the goddesses, please not again!"

The captain stepped forward and gave him another look over, surprised he hadn't said a single word as of yet. He certainly looked frightened but he hadn't begged or cried like most did when in the same situation.

"Have you nothing to say before you die?" she demanded, placing her hands on her hips.

The Postman gave an obvious gulp then spoke in his regular accent and voice. "I-I would appreciate it very much if you didn't execute me while wearing a dress. If you please."

The captain stared at him a long moment then drew her sword. Without a word she sliced the dress off of The Postman leaving him in just his white shorts. He gave her a slow nod.

"Thank you."

She returned the nod silently.

Knowing it was inevitable, Sakon stood just behind The Postman, trying to remain calm for his benefit. "It's going to be alright." he assured him. "Close your eyes. You don't want to see it coming. Close your eyes."

The Postman did as he was told and closed his eyes, the only thing he could hear now was Sakon's voice.

" I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..." Sakon whispered. "It's my fault. I'm sorry. It won't hurt much, I promise."

The captain looked at all of the pirates who were cheering and calling for his death and purposely drew it out with a smirk. She loved getting them riled up and a good execution always was great for their morale. One of the pirates pulled at her sleeve and she glanced beside her, annoyed at the interruption. A younger pirate looked up at her nervously then pointed at The Postman.

"Uh, captain? The silk scarf he's wearing, may I have it before it's ruined? It'll tear once his neck breaks."

The captain gave her an annoyed look but nodded all the same. The young pirate eagerly stepped forward and reached up to untie the scarf. As she carefully pulled it away from his neck and untangled it from the noose, her eyes fell on the burn. Her eyes widening, she dropped the scarf.

"Captain!" she cried.

"What?" the captain asked, getting impatient.

"Look at his neck! Look at the mark!"

The captain approached and her eyes immediately fell on the bright red burn. Turning his head so she could get a better look, she frowned at the easily recognizable desert emblem. Running a finger over it, she could feel the heat emanating from it and it seemed it shimmer under her scrutinizing gaze.

"Zaira."

At her name, the first mate was instantly by her captains side. Her eyes widened at the unexpected sight and she turned a questioning look up to the other woman.

"What do you make of this?" the captain asked.

Zaira rubbed at the mark and inspected it closely for a moment before glancing back up.

"It's real." she confirmed.

The captain narrowed her eyes. "That's what I thought. Kindly stand back now."

Zaira and the young pirate backed away against the rest of the crowd just as the captain hauled off and slapped The Postman hard upside the head. The Postman had been prepared to hang but he hadn't been prepared to be slapped and let out a yelp, opening his eyes in surprise. He was met with the sight of the captain scowling up at him fiercely.

"MORON!" she hissed, striking him a second time.

The Postman simply stared at her then glanced over at Sakon who seemed just as baffled as he.

The captain gave him a look of disgust then turned away. "Leave him there. I'm too angry to deal with him at the moment." she snapped. "Everyone go about your duties."

There was quite a bit of complaining and grumbling as the pirates slowly dispersed so the captain shot them all warning looks.

"NOW!" she bellowed. "GET BACK TO WORK!"

Now moving much quicker, the pirates went back to their tasks and The Postman was left by himself, standing on the barrel, noose still around his neck. He looked over at Sakon.

"What just happened?" he asked uncertainly.

Sakon looked around himself uneasily. "I have no idea...I think the captain just spared you..."

The Postman was completely by himself in the centre of the deck, unable to move an inch and hesitantly looked up at where the noose was tied to the mast. The rope was scratchy and extremely uncomfortable and it was obvious he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He'd lost his sandals at some point and shifted his bare feet on the rough barrel, the wood uneven and splintery to the feel.

"What are they going to do with me?" he asked Sakon.

The ghost frowned down at him then gave a glance at the pirates who weren't paying The Postman any mind. "I wouldn't complain too much if I were you." he suggested. "One little nudge and you'll be hanging."

The Postman knew this was very true and didn't dispute it. "But why haven't they killed me?"

Sakon gave a shrug. "Maybe they're planning on keeping you as a pet?"

The Postman grimaced. That definitely wasn't better than being executed in his opinion and he hoped there was a much better explanation.

"What about my marking? She was talking about that."

Sakon shook his head. "I told you, Talak was executed because of his mark, you wouldn't be spared because of yours!"

"I don't know then."

"Maybe she's thinking up a torture for you or something..."

The Postman frowned. "Not helping, Sakon."

Sakon glanced back towards the pirates who weren't even looking in their direction. "Sorry."

The Postman let out a heavy sigh. He wasn't feeling very well and the day was getting to be unbelievably hot and he was already too warm. There was no shade where he was standing and after only a few minutes, his throat was parched and he felt sticky from sweat but couldn't move a muscle. Every time he shifted too much, the barrel would waver precariously and the noose tightened painfully around his neck and he didn't want to chance causing the barrel to topple so he stayed very still. After a time, Sakon left to scout out the pirates and The Postman was left by himself. It didn't take him long to begin feeling ill and after a short while, he felt his eyes slowly close from heat exhaustion. That's when he was shocked awake from a cold bucket of water being thrown over him. Salt water stung his eyes and his sun burned skin and he blinked heavily for a few seconds as Zaira dropped the bucket to the deck and approached him, medical bag in hand. She gave him a scowl but didn't say a word.

She snapped open her bag as she glowered at him and reached up and began removing the bandages from his shoulder as Sakon returned. He gave the doctor a curious look then asked.

"Doctor crazy taking you apart while I was gone?"

The Postman was too tired and hot to much care about subtlety so he answered. "I think she's just checking to see if I'm healing alright."

Zaira paused. "Who are you talking to?" she demanded.

The Postman shrugged.

"Don't move your shoulder while I'm working on it." she scolded. "I need to see what I'm doing."

"Don't forget no one besides you can see me." Sakon reminded. "They'll think you're possessed by a demon or something. Or just crazy."

"I don't really care, I have a noose around my neck. How can it get any worse than this?"

Zaira dug her nails into his wound. "What did you just say to me?" she demanded. "Care to find out how much worse I can make it? Now shut up and don't move!"

"Careful." Sakon warned again. "No one's saying much by the way. Most are debating knocking the barrel over but that's about it."

The Postman didn't dare move as she roughly looked his wound over and cleaned it as one would an animal but he couldn't stop a yelp as she found a splinter she'd missed. Not having the patience for him, she yanked the splinter free then gave him a smack on the good shoulder

"You're lucky I didn't shove all the splinters back IN!" she hissed. "Now stay still and shut up!"

"You should probably do as she says, darling..."

The Postman flinched but didn't say a word as she re-bandaged his shoulder. Satisfied with his shoulder, she pulled a stethoscope out of the bag and listened to his chest for a few moments then to his back. Next she pulled out a thermometer and held it up.

"Okay, open up." she ordered.

The Postman wondered why the pirates cared whether he was healthy at all if they were planning on executing him or torturing him. Perhaps they were planning on selling him into slavery?

Zaira stuck her thumb into the waistband of his shorts. "Open your mouth or I'll stick this somewhere else."

Sakon let out a childish giggle and grinned widely.

The Postman obediently opened his mouth. Zaira quickly checked his eyes and ears then crossed her arms as she waited then snatched the thermometer away a moment later. She frowned at it then packed up her stuff without another word. Sakon was still grinning at him.

"So darling, did you have fun playing doctor?"

The Postman didn't answer, only wishing he didn't have to stand there much longer. Luckily there seemed to be some clouds slowly coming in from the Southwest. Hopefully he'd finally get a bit of relief from the heat.

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The captain looked up from reading a chart when there was a knock at her cabin door.

"Enter." she called.

Zaira pushed open the door and entered saluting respectfully. "Captain. I just gave the man a physical and cleaned the wound in his shoulder."

The captain gave a nod. "And?" she demanded.

"His shoulder is healing well but he is dehydrated and hallucinating from the sun. If he's left there much longer, he'll either fall off the barrel or faint."

The captain had worked with Zaira for years and trusted her medical opinion entirely. Letting out a sigh, she gave a nod.

"Alright. Cut him down and give him some water. I want him brought to me immediately."

Zaira gave a nod. "Yes, captain."

As Zaira quickly left the cabin, the captain frowned down at the map once more. There was something off about the map but she just couldn't put her finger on it... It was as if something had been changed.

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Zaira could tell The Postman was speaking to someone before she even got to him and wondered how bad his heatstroke was. He went quiet once she came within sight but his eyes were still on something just to the left of her and she frowned at him. Drawing her sword, she placed her boot on top of the barrel, causing it to tip dangerously.

"You deserve to die." she stated.

The Postman said nothing.

"If it was up to me, I would push this barrel over." she said easily, making the barrel waver back and forth. "But the captain wants to see you."

With a swipe of her sword, she cut the noose and stepped back, sheathing her sword as she did so. The Postman let out a breath of relief and stepped down off the barrel, pulling the noose off his neck and dropped it to the deck as Sakon gave the pirate a suspicious look.

"I wonder what the captain wants you for? It can't be anything good..."

"I don't care...anything's better than standing on that barrel."

Zaira raised an eyebrow at him then handed him a flask. The Postman hesitated.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Water." Zaira answered impatiently, thrusting it into his hands.

The Postman eagerly unclasped it and downed half of it at once, feeling better almost instantly. Taking a seat on top of the barrel, he took another sip of the water as Zaira gave him an impatient stare. Sakon was staring at him as well, and floated just behind the pirate.

"Careful, darling." he cautioned. "Or you might get a splinter in an unmentionable area and I doubt doctor sunshine will care to dig it out."

The Postman didn't dignify that with a response and finished the water with a sigh, not wanting to move. Zaira snatched back the flask and grabbed him by the arm.

"This isn't leisure time, the captain wants to see you." she stated, pulling him harshly to his feet. "I hope she whips you good. You deserve it."

The Postman didn't really have time to consider that as she dragged him across the deck as the other pirates simply stared at them then she knocked on the cabin door. Pushing The Postman inside, she left without saying a single word. The Postman exchanged an uneasy look with Sakon then glanced at the captain who was seated at the table surrounded by maps and charts. She slowly set down her quill and looked up at him, her eyes narrowing and she pushed her chair away, her lips pursing into a thin angry line. She approached him, hands held behind back, as she inspected him then tipped her chin the direction of a water basin.

"Wash that make-up off." she ordered.

Without a word, The Postman did as he was told. When he was finished, he stood back in front of her as she looked him up ad down, her expression angry but controlled.

"You belong to Ganondorf?" she asked. "He marked you? It's genuine?"

The Postman nodded.

Her eyes narrowed further. "You are a complete moron."

The Postman shifted a bit and said nothing.

"What is your name? I don't want any more lies out of you."

"My name is Jihiro, miss."

The captain tapped her fingers on her hip as she thought a moment. "I haven't heard of you." she said decidedly.

"I'm a postman on the mainlands." The Postman explained. "I'm nobody special, I just deliver letters."

The captain's eyes widened a bit. "Oh. I have heard of you. You amused the king and have been made an honorary Gerudo."

The Postman would definitely not consider himself a Gerudo but he wasn't going to correct her so he said nothing. The captain took off her hat and tossed it onto a nearby chair and let out a heavy sigh. Crossing her arms, she gave him an annoyed look then asked.

"Why are you such an imbecile? If you wanted to board with us, why didn't you just ask instead of lying and deceiving us so blatantly? I almost had you executed. Do you have any idea how much trouble I would have gotten in had I killed you?"

The Postman hesitated. "You...you mean you're not going to execute me?" he asked.

The captain let out a snort. "Don't be stupid. Being a moron doesn't get you executed if you're a Gerudo, it gets you punished. I will be informing lord Ganondorf all about your deception however."

The Postman was still confused. "But...I'm a man!"

The captain frowned at him. "Unfortunately, but where are you going with this?"

"I have the desert emblem burned into my neck from Ganondorf!"

The captain seemed to be getting impatient. "Yes?" she demanded. "What is your point? That's why you're alive right now."

The Postman rubbed at the burn. "But Sakon said you kill any men who have this mark..."

"Sakon? That stupid, annoying bald thief that my cutlass wants a few words with?"

Sakon scowled at her. "Harsh."

"That would be the one. He told me that he saw you hang a thief by his intestines who had the desert emblem."

"No other man has that burn." The captain informed him. "As of right now, you're the only man who has a genuine one.'

The Postman paused as that sunk in. "Then that thief..."

"The mark was a forgery. It was an insult to our people and he had the nerve to order us to take him across sea on a voyage. He had to be made an example of."

The Postman immediately looked over at Sakon who looked flabbergasted. "Yeah, it was a fake but how could they possibly know that? How could they know each and every person Ganondorf marks?"

The Postman knew it wouldn't be that hard if he was the very first man to be marked in such a way. The captain gave him another lookover, obviously not impressed with what she saw then pointed towards the table.

"Alright, 'Jihiro' position yourself over that table for your flogging."

The Postman hesitated. "Flogging?"

The captain crossed the room and opened a closet. The Postman instantly felt his stomach hit the floor at the sight of several whips and various vicious looking implements.

"Yes." the captain confirmed. "Flogging. You didn't think you were just going to get away with this, did you?"

The Postman gulped as she began looking several of the whips over. "Well...maybe?"

Sakon winced in sympathy. "Trust me, this isn't going to be a sexy flogging either...it's really going to hurt. In my profession I get flogged a lot when I'm caught."

The Postman watched as the captain selected a whip then turned around to face him. When she saw he hadn't yet obeyed her, she narrowed her eyes and pointed to the table.

"Do you wish to be flogged in front of the crew?" she demanded.

"No, miss."

"Then do as I say and position yourself before I double your punishment."

Biting his lip, The Postman slowly lowered himself over the table, giving the captain clear access to his back. She approached him and ran her hand across the bare skin of his back, instantly frowning in disapproval.

"Your skin is soft like a child's." she scolded. "The whip will shred you like paper. Haven't you ever been flogged before?"

The Postman shook his head. "No, miss."

The captain rolled her eyes. Turning away, she went back to exchange the whip for something a little less severe. Everything she touched was made for the tough skin of pirates and she made an irritated sound in the back of her throat. Any one of the whips could kill him and she couldn't chance that but she also couldn't let him off without punishment. Pondering a moment, she unclasped her belt and pulled it from her pants. Using such an implement was laughable for a pirate but she had a feeling he wouldn't be able to take much more than that. Folding the belt over in her hands she approached him.

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The sky was amass with black clouds and a cool wind blew over the ship, feeling good after so much heat. The Postman sat at the ships side, his legs dangling off the edge and his chin rested on the bottom railing as he stared out across the sea thoughtfully. The water was so dark it looked like ink and he couldn't see through it. His entire body ached from the flogging but he knew all things considering he'd gotten off pretty easy. Zaira had come by to check on him afterwards but she declared that he'd only received a child's punishment and that he was perfectly fine and didn't require medical attention.

The crew had jeered at him a bit but eventually left him alone when he didn't react which he was grateful for. Sakon had acted indignant on his behalf and yelled at any and all pirates but The Postman hadn't said a word. The pirates weren't going to kill him and they weren't going to throw him overboard so he didn't really have anything to complain about. He did have a few bones to pick with Sakon later but that would have to wait until he had a bit more privacy.

Hearing a strange series of thunks coming from behind him, The Postman glanced over his shoulder and saw Samirah slowly making her way towards him on crutches. She had a large mug of ale in one hand as she concentrated on making it over to him. Seating herself on top of the railing above him, she looked down at his striped back and ran a finger across one of the welts, wincing in sympathy when he flinched.

"Ouch." she commented. "Well, I guess it looks like you're not dead."

The Postman didn't answer, his gaze still out to sea. Samirah took a long swig of ale and tried to follow his gaze. Giving up, she set her mug on top of his head with a sigh, finding him to be at exactly the right height.

"You still owe me a game of cards."

Feeling the cold condensation dripping into his hair, The Postman very slowly started to reach up towards the mug.

"Don't move." Samirah scolded. "You'll spill my ale."

The Postman let out a sigh feeling resigned and didn't argue.

Sakon floated over and settled himself beside the pirate, wondering what she was up to. He already felt guilty about getting The Postman flogged and hoped she wasn't going to try to do anything to him as well.

"No one ever tells me anything." Samirah complained. "I always have to find out for myself. So why aren't you dead? Do you just look like a man or something? Or did they castrate you?"

"No, I'm marked by Ganondorf." The Postman stated.

Samirah squinted at his neck. "Huh. That explains it. Would it have killed them to tell me that? To just poke their head down and yell 'Hey Samirah, you know that weird cross-dresser? Well he's actually one of us so we're not to execute him after all!"'

She let out a sigh and picked up her ale causing another splash of condensation to drip down The Postman's neck. He cringed but didn't complain. There was a loud rumble of thunder and all three looked up.

"Damn." Samirah complained. "I hate storms. Everything below deck always gets soaked and it takes days to dry out."

The Postman was staring at the clouds which seemed to be getting darker and darker by the moment. It was only mid-day but the sky was quickly turning ominously black.

"Come play poker with me again." Samirah urged.

"No, thank you." The Postman said politely, his eyes still on the sky. "I'm not really in the mood at the moment."

Samirah gave one of his welts a poke, causing him to look at her. "Don't be boring."

"Sweetheart, that's his very definition." Sakon said with a sigh.

There was a flash of lightening and The Postman's attention was instantly back to the sky. Samirah gave him a swat on the back causing him to let out an agonized yelp then she carefully slipped down off the railing.

"Just to let you know, I'm bored so I'm going to be rummaging through your backpack." she stated.

"Fine."

As Samirah thunked away across the deck, Sakon was instantly in his face. "What do you mean 'fine'? Go stop her! You can't just let her go through my things! What if she steals from me?"

The Postman gave him a glare and shrugged.

"Oh, is that how it's going to be?" Sakon demanded. "Well, fine, but you're the one who's going to have to explain to her why you have Deku Scrub porn in your backpack."

The Postman frowned. "You're lying."

Sakon met his gaze evenly. "Am I?"

The Postman thought about it for a moment then quickly scrambled up to go after her. He caught up with her on the stairs which she was having a bit of trouble with. She paused and gave him a questioning look. The Postman edged past her and all but ran to the storeroom. Grabbing up Sakon's backpack, he looked one way then another then opened the nearby porthole. Digging inside the backpack, he pulled out anything made of paper and didn't even look to see what it was, just throwing it out into the ocean as fast as he could.

Sakon was protesting, clearly distraught but he ignored him.

"Wait!" Sakon cried. "That one's a pictograph album!"

The Postman started to throw it out in disgust.

"A FAMILY pictograph album!" Sakon cried.

The Postman stopped just as he noticed Samirah standing in the doorway.

"...are you throwing all your porn into the ocean?" she questioned.

"...no?"

Samirah picked up a fallen magazine and flipped to a random page and squinted for a moment then turned it one way then another. Giving a shrug, she tossed it back to the floor.

"You're into some weird things." she stated. "I don't blame you for trying to hide the evidence."

Seeing the pictograph album, she quickly snatched it away. "What's this?" she asked.

She opened it up and The Postman looked over her shoulder and was incredibly surprised to see a very young Guru Guru holding a baby which must have been Sakon. The baby was sound asleep in his arms and Guru Guru was smiling brightly, no sign of insanity lurking in his eyes. In the next picture, Sakon was slightly older, about two and was sitting on The Happy Mask Sales Man's lap looking positively terrified. The Happy Mask Salesman was grinning brightly for the pictograph but it did nothing to detract from his eeriness. To The Postman's surprise Sakon had a mass of curly blond hair and he would have thought he was a different child if it wasn't for the familiar emerald green eyes.

Sakon frowned at the album then said.

"Yeah, Guru Guru gave these to me a few years ago."

Samirah clearly wasn't interested and tossed back the album with a roll of the eyes.

"So, you're into kids too?" she asked, with a hint of disgust.

The Postman was horrified. "What? No! That's my friends family album! No, I would never! And this is his backpack too! I'm on a quest to find him! I'm not a pervert!"

Samirah frowned but gave a nod. "Alright fine. You don't really strike me as a pervert so I'll believe you for now."

A loud boom of thunder came from above and lightening lit up the porthole. Almost instantly there was another rumble of thunder and Samirah sighed.

"The storm's getting closer. I knew something was up when we got the heatwave earlier. It's never this hot this time of year...I'd better secure my hammock just in case."

As Samirah left the room, The Postman stuffed the pictograph album back into the backpack and gave Sakon another glare. Sakon gave him a sheepish look, not really having any justification so The Postman simply sighed, deciding that he didn't really care.

"I didn't know you were a blond." he stated.

"Yeah," Sakon said wistfully, "I wonder what my hair would have looked like now? My uncle's both have dark hair and I don't remember my parents so I wonder if it would have darkened over time or whether it would have remained blond..."

The thunder was almost constant now and the ship began to rock and The Postman and Sakon exchanged a look. Very faintly over the rumbling and banging, he could hear something that pulled at his memory. It was soft and sweet, almost like music and he knew he'd heard it before. Not sure if he was hearing things, he dug inside the backpack and pulled out his shirt, pulling it on then slipped the pack over his good shoulder. He had a feeling something was going to happen and headed towards the door.

"Um, darling?" Sakon called over the thunder. "Shouldn't we stay below deck during the storm?"

"I think something's going to happen." he called to Sakon.

"What's going to happen?"

"Listen!" The Postman instructed. "Can't you hear that?"

Sakon gave him a puzzled look. "The thunder?"

"No, something else!"

Sakon listened but all he could hear were the sounds of the storm. Not sure what he was supposed to be hearing, he followed The Postman out of the room. Many of the pirates were in their room tying things down and they passed by them without pause and made their way up deck as the ship rocked violently across the waves.

Sakon swore at the sight of the storm and shot a nervous look to The Postman. Enormous waves swelled around the sides of the ship which was lurching and dipping in the water fiercely, showers of water spraying across the deck. The sky was pitch black and was only being illuminated by flashes of lightening. The Postman could still hear odd echoes of music and stared across the ocean just as the rain started. He grabbed a hold of the ships railing to keep his balance and stared into the heart of the storm, certain something was going to happen.

"Are you suicidal?"

The Postman turned and saw the captain standing just behind him, glancing at the storm nervously.

"Get back below deck or I'll beat you a second time!" she yelled.

"I can't, miss!"

"NOW, this storm is too strong to be on deck! You'll be thrown overboard! Don't be a fool! I'm going below deck as well!"

"I'm sorry!"

There was suddenly a huge roaring wind and the captain's mouth dropped open in horror as she stared at something just behind The Postman. The Postman looked over his shoulder and his eyes widened at the enormous funnel of clouds spinning wildly above the water heading straight for the ship. The sound of deafening and no one moved, not sure what to do, as there WAS nothing they could do.

"A waterspout..." the captain mouthed.

A sea tornado was deadly to ships and there was nothing that could be done when they were this close to the ship. They'd be torn apart. The Postman stared into it and again he heard the strange music cut through the noise of the storm. He saw a shadowy form flit about in the centre of the tornado and The Postman stared at it intently trying to remember where he recognized this from. For a brief moment it came out of churning water and he clearly saw it was a flying whale and knew it was from his dream. The whale looked straight at him and said but one word before disappearing.

"Jump."

"This is our sign." he yelled to Sakon, not caring that the captain was within earshot. "I have to jump."

Sakon seemed hesitant. "You're sure?"

The Postman nodded.

The captain simply stared at him. "What are you talking about, you crazy fool? You can't jump!"

The Postman gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry, but I'll be fine."

Gripping the railing, The Postman awkwardly threw himself overboard, hoping he wouldn't regret it. Sakon stayed close to his side as he hit the cold water with a gasp and both were consumed by the funnel almost instantly. The storm dissipated the moment they were gone and the sea was once again calm and quiet. The captain stared across the water in confusion then let out a curse, wondering how she was going to explain this to Ganondorf.

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**Reviews Make The Author Happy!**


	10. The Hero Postman

**The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?**

**Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**Authornote:**

**Shameless Self Promoting! ****Shameless Self Promoting**! lol

I had a weird moment a few days ago and wrote an Ace Ventura fanfiction after watching the movies. I hadn't seen them since I was a kid and made an observation about his character I hadn't thought of before. With this in mind I began a story...It's NOT a crack fic I promise guys! I promise it's not what you expect! You guys should go check it out if you're in the mood! ^_^

BTW, if anyone wants to know exactly what song The Postman keeps hearing look up Ballad of The Windfish by Fox Amoore on youtube. (It's the best version)

So, this chapter is just an intro to Koholint island, that's why it's a bit shorter than my usual chapters. (Well, if you call 12 pages short lol) Next chapter will be longer and will begin the island adventure! :)

For my wonderful Reviewers! WOW guys! Just WOW! I got the most reviews last chapter that I've ever gotten before! You guys are truly awesome and it REALLY made my week! I wasn't having a very good week and you guys really cheered me up! :3

A huge thank you to:

Reiz16

The Empty Lord

Nocturne of Eclipse

Light-Sakura

Illusionary Path

LordSlifer

Toolazytologin

ChocolateMilkLOL

gnoemchen

Mikaufan101

Don't forget to read and review and I'll hopefully have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D

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**Ballad of The Postman**

The Hero Postman

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The Postman knew he was having strange dreams again but was determined to push them aside and sleep normally. Ignoring anything he saw or heard, The Postman purposely thought of other things until his dreams shifted, seemingly giving in to him. He slept a while in relative peace until he felt someone shake his shoulder gently.

The Postman slowly opened his eyes and quickly discovered he was in a small bed with a young girl staring down at him, who looked like a blond Malon. She immediately relaxed when she saw he was awake and she gave him a gentle smile.

"What a relief!" she exclaimed. "I thought you'd never wake up! You were tossing and turning..."

The Postman stared at her a long moment. "Miss, Malon?" he questioned.

The girl cocked her head. "Huh? Maybe you aren't awake... My name is Marin. Who's Malon?"

The Postman didn't answer and glanced around the small, cozy cottage, his eyes falling on Sakon who gave him a dopey grin.

"Hey, darling," the thief greeted. "You swallowed half the ocean but gorgeous here gave you mouth to mouth. Too bad you were asleep...you've probably never gotten so much action!"

Marin flashed Sakon a look of death. "Shut up, you pervert! I thought I told you to leave me alone?"

The Postman hurriedly sat up. "You can see him?"

The girl gave Sakon one last glare before turning her attention back to The Postman. "Of course I can; he's certainly obnoxious enough."

"He's been bothering my Marin all morning but she keeps him in his place." said a voice from The Postman's other side.

Looking over, The Postman saw an overweight man seated beside him who looked just like Talon. He was drinking a large tumbler of beer and his cheeks and nose were red from over-drinking.

"Mr. Talon?" The Postman asked hesitantly.

"Nope. Name's Tarin."

The Postman frowned.

"Here, I fixed you some lunch." Marin told him, setting a tray on his lap. "Your stomach kept growling in your sleep."

The Postman doubted he had ever been more grateful to anyone in his life as he stared down at the large, steaming bowl of stew. He was absolutely starving and without a word, he hurriedly began wolfing down the thick stew as Marin stared at him in surprise. He didn't care whether he ate with manners or not and when he had finished it, she refilled his bowl without hesitation.

"When's the last time you ate?" she demanded, as he started on the second bowl.

"I told you!" Sakon said, with a roll of the eyes. "He's an escaped slave! He doesn't get to eat! He has to rely on the kindness of strangers and hope that he's fast enough to catch the occasional rat."

The Postman paused, spoon mid-way to his mouth. "What exactly have you been telling her?" he demanded.

Sakon bit his lip in an attempt not to laugh. The Postman sighed and turned his gaze to Marin wondering whether she was actually buying any of that. She seemed a bit uncertain and shifted, not meeting his eyes.

"Um, I saw your back..." she said to him uneasily. "It looks painful..."

"Not really." The Postman admitted. It was still a bit sore but he knew it probably looked a lot worse than it felt.

Marin shook her head. "No need to be brave on my behalf, Hero of the Post. Sakon told me all about how you bravely fought against ghastly pirates and ended up as their man-slave! What tortures you went through! He's told me many of the tales you and he faced at sea and you're a courageous man! You must still be feeling a little woozy after cutting off both of your own testicles to escape that pirate ship! You should lay back down!"

Both of The Postman's eyebrows shot up in surprise as Sakon gave him a downright shit-eating grin.

The Postman frowned. "Sometimes I really hate you, Sakon."

"No need to be modest, darling, the whole island already knows of your great heroics! They've been talking about it for hours!"

Marin gave him a smile as Sakon snickered. "The kids are calling you captain ball-less!"

The Postman let out a heavy sigh, took another bite of stew then stated to Marin. "Sakon still wet the bed when he was twelve."

Sakon's mouth dropped open as Marin giggled at him. "I did not!" he protested. "I didn't!"

The Postman said nothing more, simply finishing his stew as Sakon turned bright red.

"Where are we anyway?" The Postman asked after a moment.

Marin was quick to speak up. "You're on Koholint island. I found you on the beach earlier this morning while I was looking for seashells. Since you washed ashore, lots of nasty things have been in the area."

Here she paused to look pointedly at Sakon. Sakon's cheeks were still pink but he stuck his tongue out at her all the same. "Well, I bet you don't look all that great in the morning either." he snapped. "...although I'd be willing to find out..."

Marin snatched the roll off The Postman's tray and lobbed it at Sakon's head but it sailed harmlessly through him landing on the floor a few feet away. The Postman stared mournfully at the roll then turned his attention to Tarin.

"If this is Koholint island then this is where the Windfish lives?" he asked.

Tarin paused a moment then scratched his chin in thought. "Not sure. I'm not a learned man, I mostly keep to myself. I'm glad you seem to be feeling better though, Link."

The Postman blinked in confusion.

Tarin smiled at his puzzled expression. "What? Are you confused at how I know your name?"

"Um, my name's not Li-"

"I saw it on the back of this shield!" Tarin loudly interrupted, holding out an intricate hero's shield, obviously expecting The Postman to take it.

The Postman simply stared at it. "...that's not mine."

Tarin faltered as if he wasn't sure what to say to this. "N-not yours?" he repeated.

"No, sir. I don't have a shield."

"Oh, um, well, would you like it anyway?"

"No, thank you, sir."

Sakon instantly forgot about his embarrassment and eyed the shield greedily, thinking of the profit. "Take it!" he urged, eagerly. "Link's not here and we could use it on our quest! Shields are useful!"

The Postman crossed his arms, having no interest in weapons or armour. Tarin was still awkwardly holding out the shield as if The Postman had interrupted something scripted and he didn't seem like he knew what to do. He seemed completely confused and looked down at the shield.

"You should be careful, there are monsters everywhere." Marin cautioned. "A shield could aid you."

Sakon leaned into The Postman's face. "Just take the stupid thing." he ordered.

Frowning, The Postman reached out and took the shield, the metal feeling heavy and unnatural in his hands. Tarin immediately relaxed and gave him another smile.

"Oh, another thing you should know, some other stuff like this washed up on the beach..."

Sakon's eyes lit up at the thought of treasure but The Postman clearly wasn't interested. Setting his dinner tray aside, he got to his feet and gave a casual stretch.

"Follow the lane South to reach the beach where I found you." Marin directed him, sounding like she was going over something very well rehearsed.

The Postman paused mid-stretch. "Who said I was going to the beach?"

Marin seemed genuinely confused by that question. "You're a hero and my father told you something mysterious washed up on the beach. Why wouldn't you go? Aren't you curious?"

"No." The Postman responded. "And I'm not a hero, I'm a postman."

Marin nodded blankly. "A hero postman."

Sakon snickered.

"I appreciate your help very much, miss Marin and yours too, sir but I think I should be going now."

Both Marin and Tarin nodded together. "To the beach. To the South." They said at once.

"Wow, creepy." Sakon said, taking a step away from them.

The Postman gave them an indescribable look, grabbed up the shield and hurriedly left the cottage with Sakon at his heals. The moment he was outside, he let out a breath of relief and glanced back at the closed door.

"What was that all about?" Sakon asked. "You ran out of there like a keese out of din! Did you just figure out that Marin is supposed to be your love interest?"

The Postman spun to face him. "My what?"

Sakon gave him a patient look as if he were speaking to a child. "Your love interest, genius. This is your quest and you're the hero of this quest, therefore you get the girl! She totally has love interest written all over her!"

The Postman's nose crinkled and he quickly turned away from the cottage. "She looks like she's only seventeen or eighteen!"

Sakon gave him a smirk.

"They really blew it with your love interest! Instead of a cute teenage girl, they should have made it a cute teenage boy!"

The Postman let out a sigh. "Who exactly are 'they'?" he asked.

Sakon gave a shrug. "The goddesses? Dunno. The ones in charge of quests I guess."

The Postman didn't really like the idea of someone purposely interfering in his life but knew gods and goddesses did that sort of thing all the time to people. Glancing around at the very small village uneasily, he said.

"I don't trust this place, Sakon..."

This instantly had Sakon's attention. "Huh? What's wrong?" he asked.

The Postman hesitated as if he weren't sure how to explain it. "These people aren't real." he stated. "I can't feel them at all. The only one I can feel is the Windfish."

Sakon paused then frowned, he too glancing around the village. "What about me?" he asked. "Can you feel me?"

"No." The Postman admitted. "I can always find anyone and you're back in Termina and the Windfish is the only one on this island."

Sakon scratched at his head, perplexed, knowing for a fact he was indeed real. "I'm in-between worlds aren't I? If this is a dreamworld, maybe that's why you can't sense me or anyone else?"

The Postman considered that. Dreams weren't real and therefore it would make sense he couldn't sense the people within them. "...I suppose." he agreed reluctantly.

"Soooo," Sakon said. "Are you actually going to go to the beach?"

"I have a feeling I don't have a choice..." The Postman replied, glancing down the stone path across the village. "Something wants me going to that beach..."

"That's the spirit!" Sakon encouraged him. "Let's go treasure hunting!"

The Postman had no intention of keeping any treasure he found but kept that little bit of information to himself. Starting down the path, they approached the cottage next door, then immediately came to an abrupt halt when an enormous black beast lunged at them, its long dripping fangs snapping straight through Sakon's head. Sakon let out a yelp and jumped backwards, throwing his hands up instinctively, forgetting that he couldn't be touched. He stared at the beast with wide eyes as it strained against its chain, then glanced at The Postman who had cautiously backed away.

"What is that thing?" Sakon demanded.

"...I have no idea." The Postman answered, edging by to continue on his way. "I tink it's a dog."

The 'dog' lunged at Sakon a second time as the ghost followed after The Postman and he gave it a look of disbelief. "There's no way that thing is a dog."

The Postman gave it another look as it growled at them deeply in its throat, white eyes narrowed to slits then gave a shrug. It was chained and not a threat at the moment so he didn't especially care.

The village was incredibly tiny and they made it to the outskirts only a moment later where they saw two children playing ball outside a schoolhouse. They looked identical to two of the Kokiri children The Postman was familiar with but The Postman knew if he asked them, they would claim otherwise. When they saw The Postman and Sakon, they paused their game to whisper to one another then they began giggling, pointing. The Postman shot a glare to Sakon.

Sakon looked completely innocent/oblivious as he continued following The Postman past the school, pretending he didn't notice the children at all. The Postman rolled his eyes and didn't say a word as they continued down the path South. He had to hop over several ledges the further South he went and shortly they came across a few Octorok's who saw them and immediately attacked.

The Postman wasn't used to monsters noticing him much less attacking him and wasn't quite sure what to do. He stared at them a moment then side-stepped the rocks they spat at him.

"Use your shield, dumbass!" Sakon yelled at him, trying to draw their fire away from him.

The Postman looked down at the shield, almost having forgotten about it and held it up. A rock bounced off of it and The Postman backed away further until he was behind a grove of trees out of range. Sakon joined him and The Postman stared in the direction of the Octoroks, rather confused.

"Why did they attack us?" he asked. "What did we do? We weren't bothering them..."

"You're the hero, that's their job."

The Postman frowned, not liking the sound of that. He rather liked going about his days unnoticed.

They came upon a flight of stone stairs leading down to the beach and The Postman stepped onto it, the hot sand feeling uncomfortable on his bare feet. The second he touched the sand, several Leevers exploded out of the sand near his feet and The Postman instinctively threw up the shield letting them bounce off and he was almost thrown backwards from the force. The Leevers rebounded and he felt a sharp spike cut into one of his legs. Holding onto the shield tightly, he ran across the sand, the Leevers trailing behind, following the scent of his blood.

They only followed him a few metres however and it was as if he'd crossed some sort of magical barrier as they instantly sank back into the sand, with a hiss of disappointment and the sand was still and quiet once more. The Postman gave an uneasy look all around. He'd been attacked twice now in less than a minute and wasn't liking the beach very much. He looked down at his bleeding leg then up at Sakon who gave him a concerned grimace.

Adjusting his grip on the shield, The Postman approached the narrow cavern ahead and saw a large Sea Urchin blocking the path. The Sea Urchin seemed very relaxed and not at all aggressive, so he cautiously approached it.

"Hey, my backpack!" Sakon yelled, excitedly from ahead.

The Postman glanced up and saw Sakon pointing just to the other side of the Sea Urchin. The backpack seemed alright and that's when The Postman saw the sword. It was stuck in the sand just to the left of the backpack and was a glorious sword, fit for hero and it shone brightly in the afternoon sun.

"There's a sword." The Postman pointed out. "I wonder if it belongs to Mr. Link?"

Sakon's eyes instantly fell on the sword and he floated over to it with a large eager grin. "What are you waiting for?" he demanded. "Get your lazy ass over here! This looks expensive!"

The Postman looked down at the Sea Urchin blocking his way. "Excuse me, sir, would you mind moving a little bit? I need to get by."

The Sea Urchin looked at him but made effort to move. It simply let out a lazy sigh.

"Bash its head in with the shield!" Sakon ordered him.

"No!" The Postman responded, holding out the shield and gently pushing against the side of the Sea Urchin. Very carefully, he moved the Sea Urchin out of his way and edged past it, leaving it unharmed.

Sakon crossed his arms. "Softy."

"I'm not killing it just because its in my way."

Sakon rolled his eyes and motioned towards the sword. "Just take the sword, you wuss."

The Postman took the backpack instead. "I don't kill, Sakon."

"What?" Sakon demanded. "You're just going to leave it here? You can't do that! You're going to need it!"

The Postman shouldered the backpack. "I doubt that. Now come on, let's go."

Sakon stared down at the valuable looking sword woefully and wasn't ready to give up. "Well, at least bring it to Tarin or whatever his name was. He might need it to protect his daughter since there are so many monsters around..."

The Postman narrowed his eyes at the thief knowing Sakon could care less about Marin and Tarin.

"I wonder if it belonged to Link?" Sakon wondered out loud, kneeling next to the sword, curiously. "You shouldn't leave a heroes sword just laying on the beach like this. You should at least take it for safekeeping..."

The Postman stared down at the sword and felt frustrated. He was not a hero but it seemed the world was trying very hard to force him to be one. Heroes carried shields and swords; postmen did not. Letting out a deep, irritated sigh, he glared at the sword, then at Sakon, blaming him.

"Fine, I'll take the sword, but I won't kill anyone."

Sakon gave him a smile.

He reached out towards it then stopped as a voice interrupted him just as his fingers were about to close around the hilt.

"Hoo Hoot!"

The Postman and Sakon looked up to see Kaepora Gaepbora perched a few feet up the beach watching them. The owl cocked his head, his yellow eyes ever intelligent then said.

"Ho there Postman and thief. I now understand why all the monsters are starting to act so violently...A courageous hero has come to wake the Windfish and release the soul of his friend. It is said that you cannot leave the island unless you manage to wake the Windfish."

Sakon raised an eyebrow. "Um, yeah, you stupid pigeon, you're the one you told us to come here, remember? We already know all that. Did you fly into a glass window or something?"

Kaepora Gaepbora stared at them a moment then replied. "Sometimes destiny is set to be repeated over and over no matter who sails its course."

"Sir?" The Postman questioned. "What do you mean by that?"

Kaepora Gaepbora flapped his wings and looked up towards the sky, his eyes going distant. "You should now go North, to the Mysterious Forest. I will wait for you there. Hoot!"

Without waiting for a reply, Kaepora Gaepbora took off into the air and disappeared from sight, flying high above the trees.

"Did he seem a little off to you?" The Postman asked.

"Any more than before?" Sakon asked. "No. Stupid bossy pigeon."

The Postman wondered what Kaepora Gaepbora had meant by destiny repeating itself and reached down to take the sword. His hand passed right through it. Surprised, he tried again with the same results. The sword certainly looked solid enough but his fingers passed right through it as if it were air.

"Sakon...I can't touch it!" he said in confusion.

Sakon stared a long moment in bewilderment then hesitantly reached out a hand. His fingers closed over the hilt of the sword and he pulled the blade easily free from the sand. There was a loud triumphant chime from all around them as the sun caught the steel of the blade and Sakon held the sword to the sky, his name clearly written across the hilt.

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**Reviews Make The Author Happy**


	11. Sakon The Fearless

**The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?**

**Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**Authornote:  
**

**I actually planned to have this chapter out a few days ago but other things got in the way. (sigh) I actually had planned on having this chapter a LOT longer but it would have ended up WAY too long if I hadn't of decided to split it up. Next chapter will have more action, I promise! ^_^  
**

**Thank you reviewers!  
**

Reiz16

The Empty Lord

Mikaufan101

ChocolateMilkLOL

Nocturne of Eclipse

TooLazyToLogin

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll hopefully have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

Sakon the Fearless

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Sakon stared at the sword where his name was clearly engraved in gold and slowly his expression morphed into a wide, manic grin. Laughing in pure, unadulterated glee, he lashed out with the sword, effectively killing the Sea Urchin. The sword cut through the monster like butter, and Sakon's grin became even wider.

"Hell yeah!" Sakon cried out triumphantly, swinging the sword wildly in all directions. "I can kill things!"

The Postman gave him a look of disapproval. "You didn't have to kill the Sea Urchin." he stated. "It wasn't hurting anyone."

Sakon puffed out his chest indignantly, striking a heroic pose with the sword. "Sea Urchins are pointy. What if you had of accidentally leaned against it? It could have given you a nasty prick! I was protecting you!"

The Postman crossed his arms.

"Don't worry, darling, I'll vanquish all of the monsters!" Sakon promised, holding the sword high above his head. "I'll clear the way!"

As Sakon charged on ahead, The Postman's eyes widened, realizing what he meant to do. "Sakon, wait!" he called after him, scrambling to catch up. "Stop!"

Sakon wasn't listening and to The Postman's dismay Sakon cut down any monsters in his path without so much as blinking an eye.

"Sakon!" The Postman yelled to deaf ears. "Stop it!"

Sakon laughed as he cut through Leevers and Octoroks alike without hesitation and for the first time, The Postman was truly reminded that Sakon was a villain. The monsters knew Sakon was the main threat and directed their attacks on him but nothing could touch Sakon much to his delight and his sword cut through the monsters one by one until there were none left. The Postman closed his eyes for a moment, pushing aside his queasiness and approached Sakon who seemed incredibly pleased with himself.

They were now back at the entrance of the village and he was still bouncing on his feet, obviously still pumped up looking for more action.

"That was uncalled for." The Postman scolded, angrily. "You didn't have to kill them."

Sakon gave him a smirk. "No, but it was fun."

"That's horrible." The Postman snapped.

Sakon paused a moment in thought as they approached the village. "This is a dreamworld...right?"

The Postman nodded.

"So the people aren't real?" Sakon asked, giving him a sideways glance.

"I don't think so but where are you going with this..." The Postman's eyes widened as Sakon gave him a mischievous grin. "Sakon, don't you dare!" he cried.

The schoolhouse came into view and Sakon charged for it, sword raised, giggling as The Postman ran after him, screaming for him to stop.

The two small boys playing ball, paused in their game to stare and Sakon lunged forward with his sword poised for the kill. The Postman didn't know what else to do so he lashed out with the shield and was quite surprised when it connected solidly with Sakon's back. Sakon's aim was thrown off and the sword stabbed harmlessly through the children's ball which immediately deflated.

"Ow!" Sakon protested, turning to face him. "Did you just hit me? How did you do that?"

The Postman hit him a second time then a third for good measure. Sakon got the point and backed away from the children.

"Ow! Okay, geez! I won't bother the villagers!"

Rubbing at his back, he held out the sword towards the children with the deflated ball on the end. Obviously pouting, one of the boys pulled the ruined ball off of the sword. Sakon gave The Postman an uneasy look who was watching him through narrowed eyes and Sakon then lowered the sword.

"You win, you're in charge." he said with a sigh. "No more fun. No more killing people."

Thinking of everything Sakon had put him through thus far, The Postman was tempted to hit him a few more times and gripped the shield tightly. Instead, he simply gave the thief a glare and said.

"I need to get my leg seen to, it's bleeding. Don't kill anyone in the village."

Sakon hesitantly reached out a hand towards the shield but his hand passed right through it. He gave it a frown.

"How come it can touch me but I can't touch it?" he demanded.

The Postman gave a shrug, still annoyed at him. "I don't know." he snapped. "Maybe because you deserved it?"

Sakon doubted that was the reason but followed after The Postman who had stomped off ahead of him.

As they passed by the children who had awkwardly resumed throwing the deflated ball back and forth, Sakon asked.

"Are we going back to Marin and Tarin's? Your girlfriend would probably be more than happy to fix your leg for you."

Remembering their dead, soulless expressions as they directed him to go South, The Postman let out a shudder. "No." he responded. "I'll ask one of the other villagers instead."

"Who?" Sakon questioned. "You haven't met any of the other villagers!"

"Small villages are friendly." The Postman stated. "I'll introduce myself and ask for help."

"All this to avoid a girl?" Sakon asked with a smirk. "She's going to corner you somehow. Love interests have a way of doing that."

The Postman walked a bit faster. "She's not my love interest."

"Whatever you say, darling."

They passed by the cottage with the 'dog' and The Postman didn't even attempt to go near the pathway leading to the door, the large beast growling threateningly at them. Sakon held up his sword, but he seemed to hesitate, frowning.

"I like dogs." he complained. "I don't want to kill it."

"You had no problem killing small children but you have a problem killing someone's pet?" The Postman asked, edging by the snarling 'dog'. "And it's not a threat anyway."

Sakon rolled his eyes. "That's different, I wouldn't kill real kids!"

The Postman gave him a skeptical look which Sakon took great offense to. Not even going to argue with him about it, Sakon sheathed the sword and crossed his arms petulantly.

The Postman eyed Marin's house warily as they passed it and saw two different shops, one to the South and another to the North.

"Do you have any rupees?" he asked Sakon. "One of those shops may have a healing item."

Sakon shook his head. "I don't normally carry much with me. I'm a thief; how often do I actually have to buy things?"

Heading North up through the town, Sakon stepped in front of The Postman as they reached the shop. "Let's go inside."

"We don't have any rupees, Sakon."

Sakon held up the sword with a grin. "I have this! I'm pretty sure he'll give us whatever we want!"

The Postman was aghast. "We're not robbing a shopkeeper!"

Sakon gave him a shrug. "Trust me on this, darling, heroes do this sort of thing all the time. Now come on before that leg gets any worse!"

Sakon entered the shop and The Postman followed after him, having every intention of stopping him before he actually did anything. Sakon burst into the shop, sword brandished high, and chest puffed out threateningly and yelled out.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll give me whatever I wa-"

His eyes fell on the shopkeeper and he immediately froze, going deathly white, his words falling flat. Behind the counter was The Happy Mask Salesman, his usual large eery grin plastered on his face as he looked over at Sakon. He was dressed as a simple villager and there were no masks to be seen but Sakon still visibly gulped. They both stared at one another and Sakon seemed incapable of movement.

"May I help you, sir?" The shopkeeper asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I..uh.."

The Postman entered the shop behind the thief, quite annoyed and placed his hands on his hips.

"Sakon, you are not-"

"RUN!" Sakon screamed, fleeing the shop as fast as he could. "RUN AWAY!"

"Ech?"

The Postman looked over at the shopkeeper who cocked his head in confusion. The Postman at once saw who he resembled then gave a smirk. Giving the shopkeeper a nod, he left the shop without a word.

"...come again?" the shopkeeper said uncertainly.

The Postman found Sakon a good fifty feet away from the shop hiding behind another cottage, looking like hell itself was after him.

"What did he say?" Sakon demanded. "He's not coming out here, is he?"

The Postman crossed his arms. "No, he's not, although it would serve you right if that was your uncle. Don't steal from the villagers."

Sakon still gave an uneasy glance in the direction of the shop but did step out from behind the cottage. "I don't see why you care so much what happens to dream-people! They're not real! What does it matter?"

"Don't forget you're a part of this dreamworld too, Sakon."

Sakon thought about that. "Okay, you have a point there."

The Postman looked at the cottage they stood in front of. "Who lives here?" he asked. "Do you think they would help me?"

"How would I know who lives here?" Sakon demanded. "I just got here too, remember?"

Deciding this cottage was better than the one with the 'dog', The Postman reached out and rapped loudly on the front door. There was a long hesitation, then.

"Come on in, the door's unlocked!"

The Postman pushed open the door and was immediately met with the deafening sound of a baby screaming. Sakon threw his hands over his ears with a wince but The Postman wasn't bothered and stepped further into the house. The cottage was quite large but simple in furnishing and a man and woman stood side by side fussing over a very upset baby. The Postman stopped mid-step and his eyes widened when he saw they were his parents.

They were much younger than The Postman could ever remember, looking to be in their twenties and his mother smiled at him warmly. There was no recognition in her eyes as she waved him over and The Postman instantly felt awkward and incredibly uncertain. Sakon stared a long moment, then glanced at The Postman in amusement.

"Well, now...this is going to be interesting..." he stated.

The Postman approached his parents who both didn't seem to recognize him at all and his mother's gaze fell on his bleeding leg.

"Oh, you poor, man!" she exclaimed. "What happened to your leg?"

"A monster on the beach." The Postman responded, just now realizing he was older than both his parents by several years. "It caught me by surprise..."

"Sit yourself down!" she directed pointing to a stool. "I'll get some bandages. Makoto, get the disinfectant!"

As The Postman did as he was told, he watched his 'father' disappear across the room to dig through a cabinet and looked up at Sakon who gave him a shrug. To The Postman utter surprise, his mother placed the baby into his arms, as she went to find the bandages. Looking down at the wailing baby, he wondered which of his siblings he was currently holding and rocked the baby slightly, trying to calm it.

The baby immediately quieted and large brown eyes full of tears looked up at him uncertainly and The Postman had a very bad feeling about who he was currently holding. There was only one baby born while his parents were in their early twenties...

Sakon peered over his shoulder and wrinkled his nose at the baby, not fond of them then asked.

"Is this the little bratty one? Menikole or whatever her name was?"

The Postman frowned. "No...I think it might be me..."

Sakon's eyes widened and he peered even closer. "Huh. This just keeps getting weirder and weirder. How is that even possible?"

"This is a dreamworld, Sakon, anything's possible..."

The baby stuck its tongue out at Sakon who grinned down at it. "You were a brat too."

The Postman's mother and father returned with bandages and disinfectant and The Postman received another smile.

"You're really good with children, do you have any of your own?"

The Postman shook his head. "No mu-ma'am."

The baby squirmed in his arms and The Postman really wanted her to take it back. Seeing himself as a baby was strange and it made him extremely uncomfortable. Although this was a dreamworld, he felt like he was somehow messing with time itself by being there and gave the baby another uneasy look.

"Is..is he your first?" The Postman asked, certain he already knew the answer.

His father gave a nod, puffing out his chest proudly. "A healthy baby boy." he announced. "He's teething and a bit grouchy at the moment but the best looking baby on the island!"

The Postman's mother was carefully cleaning the wound and glanced up. "He's been crying for the last five days and we're a bit worn out but it can't last much longer. He saw some sort of green lizard doll at the store the other day and wanted it, but we didn't have the money to get it for him which was a shame. It was the only time he stopped fussing in days."

The Postman recalled his parents telling him how he'd been miserable as a baby while teething and again looked down at the baby. The baby stared back, sniffling sadly. Sakon gave him a grin.

"Well, at least you were a cute baby."

The Postman's parents gave Sakon an odd look. "Where are you two from exactly?"

"We're from the tropical paradise known as Snowhead and we just got married and are on our romantic honeymoon."

The Postman promptly let out a choking sound as Sakon gave casual stretch and wrapped an arm around The Postman's shoulders. Although the ghost wasn't actually touching him, The Postman still pulled away.

"You'll have to excuse him, he still hasn't come out to his parents and is rather shy about the whole thing. He's afraid to admit his passionate love in public and as a result is a repressed bore."

"Sakon stop." The Postman ordered, angrily. "Just shut up."

The Postman's mother finished tying a bandage around his leg and gave him a bit of a reprimanding look. "You have a bit of a temper on you." she scolded. "You shouldn't raise your voice around children."

Sakon gave a laugh at that and pointed to the baby. "Just wait until he gets older and see if you still say that! I have a feeling you're going to change your mind very fast!"

The Postman's mother reached up and took her baby back, smiling warmly down at it as it began screaming again. "Nonsense." she said dismissively. "He's a little angel."

Sakon put his hands back over his ears. "Yeah, he certainly sounds like it."

The Postman looked down at his bandaged leg then gave his parents a grateful nod. "Thank you."

"No, problem. Anyone is always welcome in our home."

As The Postman stood to his feet to leave, his mother cradled the baby then asked. "What were your names?"

"Sakon and Jih-Jaru." The Postman finished. "Jaru." Giving his brother's name.

"Jaru..." his mother repeated thoughtfully. "Lovely name...if I have anymore sons perhaps I'll use that..."

"Thank you again," The Postman said, quickly backing out of the door before she had time to respond.

The moment the door was closed, he rounded on Sakon. "NEVER do that again!" he warned, his eyes flashing angrily.

Sakon actually took a step back at the unexpected fury on his friends face. "Are you mad about the whole gay thing?" he asked.

He got his answer when The Postman stormed away from him. Sakon quickly floated after him.

"They weren't even your real parents!" he protested. "And they didn't care! They didn't yell at you, throw you out or make fun of you so I don't get why you're so mad!"

The Postman glared at him and continued stomping away. Realization crossed Sakon's face.

"You're worried I'm going to do that to you in real life!" he exclaimed.

The Postman stopped walking as Sakon crossed his arms.

"Well, I'm not." Sakon informed him. "I'm not that much of a jerk."

The Postman gave him a skeptical look seemingly wanting to disagree . Sakon gave him a frown in return.

"Let's just go find the stupid pigeon." he suggested.

The Postman nodded in agreement, wondering how he had ever gotten himself involved in this in the first place. He followed after Sakon in silence and noticed how the thief all but ran past the item shop, giving it a frightened look as he did so. The Postman couldn't help but feel a little bit satisfied at that; at least he wouldn't have to worry about Sakon trying to steal from THAT particular shop.

They once more passed by the cottage with the vicious 'dog' and followed the path North as they'd been directed. Reaching the edge of town, they came to a sign indicating they were now approaching the Mysterious Forest and Sakon drew the sword, cutting down the bush blocking their path. The moment they entered the woods, they heard the fluttering of wings from above.

"Hoo hoot!"

Kaepora Gaepbora landed in front of them and Sakon held up his sword with a grin. "Look what I got!"

"Ho, there brave postman and thief!" the owl greeted. "You're finally set to begin your quest to wake the dreamer."

Sakon swung the sword. "Where is he? I'll wake him!"

Kaepora Gaepbora blinked at him then continued. "Much of these woods mystery are uncharted on Koholint island. I'm afraid you may find it a trifle difficult to leave the island while the Windfish still slumbers."

"Why would we want to leave before waking the creep?" Sakon demanded. "He needs to release me, remember?"

Once more, Kaepora Gaepbora ignored him. "Once you have finished exploring the woods, brave ones, I suggest you take a look at Tail Cave which is to the South of the island. Go there with the key you find in this forest. Hoo hoot."

The Postman had an inkling of where this situation was leading up to. "Tail Cave is a dungeon, isn't it..." he stated with a sigh.

"Hoot. Seek out the strange mushroom only found out in these woods first." Kaepora Gaepbora said, spreading his wings and flying off without another word.

The Postman let out another sigh as Sakon brandished his sword high, ready for battle. "Onward, brave postman! You heard the pigeon! Destiny calls!"

"You just want to kill things."

Sakon grinned at him, not denying it.

Lifting his shield just in case, they began walking through the forest. Almost immediately they came across several moblins and Sakon sprang into action and lunged at them with the sword. The moblins couldn't hurt Sakon so despite his clumsy sword work, he was able to easily kill them. The Postman still didn't approve of the violence but knew there really wasn't anything he could do so he simply followed after Sakon as he chased after every Moblin they came across.

The Postman glanced towards the mountain he could see in the very far distance and knew that's where the Windfish was and wondered why they couldn't just go to him now. Adventures always seemed to have a set course and he doubted he'd be allowed to just skip over the whole quest even if he wanted to. He had to admit he was curious what would happen if he tried but didn't really want the wrath of a god to rein down on him. Without a word, he followed after Sakon as monster after monster fell to the sword.

The forest itself was dark and rather gloomy but travel was easy when the enemies couldn't get a single attack in. Sakon didn't seem capable of tiring and even an hour later, he was still killing with just as much enthusiasm. When they reached a dark, foreboding looking cave a while after that The Postman hesitated, remembering the cave he and Sakon had explored in the forbidden district all that time ago. He knew this cave likely didn't contain a redead with an eating disorder but he still hesitated.

"Do you have any torches?" he asked.

Sakon was looking all around, sure something was going to jump out at them and gave a distracted nod. "Yeah, there should be a lantern in there somewhere. The flint is in the front pocket."

As The Postman dug around inside the backpack, Sakon turned his attention to the sign in front of the cave.

"Beware of floors with cracks." he read out loud. "A heavy person should not stand on them!"

The Postman glanced up at him. "It doesn't say that."

"It does too!" Sakon insisted. "I don't think you have anything to worry about anyway, a cat weighs more than you."

The Postman pulled out a bent lantern then the flint. As he lit it, Sakon swung the sword above his head in a circle, full of energy and eager to get moving again. The moment the lantern was lit Sakon ran into the cave swinging the sword in all directions, letting out a war cry and The Postman let out a heavy sigh and followed slowly behind. Whatever god or goddess had given Sakon a sword must have been drunk, that was the only explanation he could come up with.

The cave wasn't as bad as The Postman had feared, the only monsters a few keese watching him from the walls. Sakon chased after them like a child chasing butterflies and The Postman looked down at the horribly cracked floor. Remembering the warning Sakon had mentioned, he hesitantly placed a foot on one of the cracks. Still not trusting it, he chose to hop over the cracks instead. When he finally reached the other side of the room, Sakon had stabbed the last Keese and grinned at him triumphantly. That's when Sakon's eyes fell on the treasure chest in the centre of the room.

"Look!" he cried.

"Hmm." The Postman replied with disinterest.

"Go get it!" Sakon cried in frustration. "It's right there! Go claim it!"

The Postman started down the opposite hallway and Sakon let out a bellow of frustration.

"We don't have any rupees, you moron! What if you get hurt again or we need something from one of the shops? Unless you want me to steal, you're going to need money!"

The Postman saw the logic in that and slowly turned back towards the chest. Treasure had never interested him before but Sakon did have a point. Being careful of the cracks, he crawled over the large boulders surrounding the chest and pried open the top, finding a purple rupee inside. Sakon grinned at him from over his shoulder.

"Sweet deal." he commented.

Stuffing the rupee inside the backpack, he crossed the room again and continued through the cave. Sakon killed the jellies that jumped out at them and they came to a strange room full of boulders that looked a bit like a maze. Far across the room, The Postman could see a heart container which he ignored to Sakon's annoyance.

"You're the hero, darling. Do you keep forgetting this? You're supposed to take the power-ups!"

"You're the one with the sword. You take it."

Sakon paused as he realized he was the one who had been doing all the fighting. "Oh! It probably is mine!"

Floating across the room, he eagerly reached out and touched the heart container, pleased when it absorbed into him, proving it was meant for him. Knowing he needed three more to gain strength, Sakon gave The Postman a proud smile.

"I guess this means I'm the true hero of this quest." he announced.

"Does this mean I can go home?" The Postman demanded, crossing his arms.

"Naw, every hero needs his side-kick. Even the hero of time has his little fairy. You can be my fairy. You can be Navi for the quest."

"I am not Navi." The Postman snapped.

"Are you racist against fairies or something?" Sakon demanded.

The Postman simply sighed and left the cave without another word. Sakon followed along behind him, in a very good mood and covered his eyes from the bright sunlight the moment they were back outside. The Postman paused just outside of the cave and wrinkled his nose, smelling something really strange nearby.

"What's that?" he demanded.

"Can you be a bit more specific?" Sakon asked. "My mind-reading skills are a bit rusty."

"That smell."

Sakon sniffed the air thoughtfully for a moment then cocked his head. "Huh." he stated. "Interesting."

Glancing all around, Sakon's eyes fell on a large red mushroom growing a feet away and approached it curiously. "Hey, I think I found the mushroom the pigeon was talking about!"

The Postman stared at the suspicious mushroom then slowly reached down to pick it. It had the strangest smell and he gave Sakon a confused look. "What am I supposed to do with it?"

"It's a mushroom, doofus, obviously you're supposed to eat it."

The Postman recoiled and he almost dropped the mushroom in his disgust. "What? Why?"

"How should I know? Am I an all-knowing magical pigeon?"

The Postman stared down at the mushroom which smelled sickly sweet and spicy almost like pepper and grimaced. It didn't look like anything he'd want to eat and was tempted to simply toss it away.

"Don't be stupid!" Sakon scolded him. "Hurry up! I want to get this quest over with and go home! Just eat the mushroom!"

The Postman wanted to go home as well so he looked at the mushroom one last time then hesitantly popped it into his mouth. The flavour was strong like chewing on a peppercorn but he managed to choke it down as Sakon watched him expectantly. He no more than swallowed it, when everything went completely black and he felt himself fall.

Sakon watched as The Postman fell to the ground and took a step back in surprise. The Postman curled into a small ball of pain as his body began transforming and Sakon let out a curse when fur began sprouting all over The Postman's body. Only a moment later, a small fat racoon was sitting where his friend had once been. Its eyes were full of mischief and a fierce intelligence and it grinned up at the thief. It then cackled as it sprung away through the forest out of sight.

Sakon looked one way then the other unable to believe that had really happened.

"Oh, shit." he stated to the empty forest.

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**Never EVER take advice from Sakon.**

**Reviews Make The Author Happy**


	12. The Postman's Curse

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**********SORRY GUYS!  
**

**My internet has been down for almost the entire weekend and I haven't been able to upload this! Next chapter we begin the dungeons! :D**

**********As always, I'm very happy to thank my wonderful reviewers who never fail to keep me motivated! You guys are great! :D So many reviewers this time! It really brightened my week! You guys are so awesome! :D  
**

**********A huge thank you to:  
**

**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Hollow Shade**

**Illusionary Path  
**

**Toolazytologin  
**

**ChocolateMilkLOL  
**

**Mikaufan101**

**Renle**

**LordSlifer**

**gnoemchen**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll hopefully have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

The Postman's curse

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Sakon stared a long hard moment into the woods, hoping the raccoon would return. When it was obvious it was long gone, he let out another curse and floated up above the trees to get a better look. The trees looked almost endless and Sakon had no idea how he was going to find one little raccoon in the miles of forest.

Hovering high above the trees, he squinted down at the trees, trying to see through the thick branches. Looking for any sign of grey fur, he started his search, feeling frustrated with the situation. Knowing it was technically his fault, he knew he couldn't blame The Postman too much but was still annoyed. Leave it to The Postman to find a cursed mushroom instead of the good kind. Sighing, Sakon kept his eyes trained on the trees and slowly made his way over the forest to the east, hoping for some sort of miracle. He was quite surprised when he actually got one.

He flew over a small clearing in the forest then paused when he saw a small, fat racoon sitting calmly beneath a tree, cleaning its whiskers. Sakon let out a cry of triumph and quickly landed in front of the raccoon who paused what it was doing. Beady black eyes stared at him, then the raccoon cocked its head curiously. To Sakon's surprise it spoke to him in a high, mischievous voice.

"As a raccoon, my nose is verrrry sensitive to stuff like dust and powder..."

Sakon raised an eyebrow. "Um, that's very interesting, darling...I'll be sure to file that away under useless knowledge I know about raccoons."

The raccoon regarded him a moment then laughed, its small pointy teeth making it seem almost threatening. "Heh heh heh, you're going to be lost thanks to me!" it cried out proudly. "Just TRY to find your way out of the forest NOW!"

Sakon knelt down to the raccoons level and frowned. "I think that mushroom did something funny to your head..."

The raccoon seemed confused and reached up a paw to its head, wondering what Sakon was talking about. "I think you should walk that way." the raccoon suggested, pointing to the North. "Try walking that way and see what happens."

Sakon was by far sneakier than any raccoon and he narrowed his eyes. "No."

The raccoon glanced towards the North then reached out a paw towards Sakon. He gave Sakon's knee a soft nudge, trying to encourage him to do as it wanted and Sakon almost fell over in his surprise.

"You touched me!" he exclaimed.

The raccoon twitched one of its ears but said nothing. Hesitantly, Sakon reached out towards the raccoon, unsure if he imagined it or not. His fingers met fur and Sakon gave the raccoon a wide toothy grin who still looked befuddled, like Sakon wasn't doing what he was supposed to.

Excited he was finally able to touch someone, he grabbed the raccoon as it let out a squeak of surprise. As it struggled to get away, Sakon gave a laugh and sat down, pulling the raccoon into his lap, running his fingers through the rough fur. The raccoon hissed for a moment angrily then went limp in his hold when it realized the petting felt good. Sakon smirked down at it.

"You're kinda cute like this." Sakon stated, scratching it beneath the chin. "Maybe I'll keep you like this?"

The raccoon let out a sound that could only be described as a purr and leaned back in Sakon's arms, completely content.

"You don't even know who you are, do you?" Sakon questioned in amusement. "I bet you'd be perfectly happy if I kept you as a pet..."

The raccoon looked up at him and gave a toothy yawn, giving its chubby belly a lazy scratch as it did so. Sakon rubbed it behind the ears for a moment wondering what he was going to do. He had found the raccoon so now what was the cure? Find a magic laxative? Where could he find someone that was familiar with magic? Sakon thought about it a moment then abruptly stopped patting the raccoon which caused it to squirm impatiently.

Sakon gave a wince. His uncle was the only one he knew of that was familiar with magic. He didn't know anyone else and he really doubted an island of village bumpkins would be of any help. Grimacing at the thought of going back to that shop, he frowned down at the raccoon, and resumed petting, much to its delight.

"You're lucky that you're my friend and that I like animals." he muttered. "If you were anyone else I'd have a new pet right now."

Slowly, getting back to his feet, he adjusted his hold on the raccoon then slowly jumped into the air, glad that he was able to carry the both of them. The raccoon didn't seem to care that they were thirty feet in the air, simply content to be petted. Sakon headed back towards the small village, glad he didn't have to fight while trying to hold onto the raccoon. He was sure it would have gotten hurt.

"Why are you so fat, anyway?" Sakon demanded. "You're probably heavier now than when you were a human!"

The raccoon closed its eyes and let out another purr. Sakon simply rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to add this to the list of things I'm never going to let you forget about." Sakon commented.

The raccoon didn't seem to care either way and Sakon floated down towards the item shop, feeling his unease rise. The moment his feet touched the ground he stopped, not wanting to enter the shop and instead played with one of the raccoon's ears nervously. Kaepora Gaepbora had clearly told him he couldn't regain his body without The Postman's help and he knew he would fail if he tried so had no other choice but to ask for help. Biting his bottom lip as he stared at the shop, Sakon took a deep breath then opened the door.

The door chimed as he entered and the shopkeeper instantly looked up as he entered and started to say a greeting then paused at the sight of the raccoon.

"I apologize, sir, but pets are not allowed in the shop!"

Sakon frowned and approached the counter. Lifting the raccoon, he set it on the counter in front of the shopkeeper who simply stared at it, obviously displeased. The raccoon stared back at him, twitched its whiskers then yawned, feeling content.

"Sir, animals are not allowed in my-"

"Fix him!" Sakon ordered.

The shopkeeper hesitated. "Fix what exactly?" he questioned.

Sakon knew The Happy Mask Salesman had a nose for magic and was certain this incarnation of him couldn't be any different.

"You know very well 'what'!" Sakon snapped, crossing his arms. "This innocent act doesn't fool me! I know who you really are!"

The shopkeeper cocked his head and gave Sakon a bemused smile. "Do you now?" he asked lightly. He didn't even deny the accusation.

Sakon realized he was on dangerous ground but knew with his uncle everything was about business. He still had a feeling this really was The Happy Mask Salesman but didn't want think about that at the moment and instead gave a nod.

"Yes and I also know you'd never turn away a good deal."

The shopkeeper grinned at him and said nothing, simply allowing him to continue.

Sakon pushed the raccoon closer. "Turn him back."

The shopkeeper's gaze never wavered from Sakon. "I own an item shop, how could I break his curse?" he asked, seemingly testing him.

Once more Sakon noted he didn't deny knowing what the curse was or even who it was and frowned at his uncle. "I know you can. What do you want?"

The shopkeeper stared at Sakon thoughtfully and scratched at his chin as he considered it. Sakon had grown up around The Happy Mask Salesman and didn't like that look one bit. It never meant anything good.

"A favour." he finally said

Sakon's eyes widened. "No way!"

The shopkeeper gave a shrug. "If you're not going to buy anything then I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Sakon let out a frustrated sigh. "The last time you suckered us into a favour for you, it almost got us killed!" Sakon accused.

"I don't know what you're talking about." the shopkeeper responded. "I've only just met you today."

Sakon crossed his arms and scowled. "How stupid do you think I am? I know it's you! No one could possibly be as creepy as you!"

The shopkeeper gave him an unimpressed look and Sakon fidgeted, not liking the look. Despite his genuine fear of his uncle, he would not be tricked into doing something dangerous for him.

"No favours." Sakon said stubbornly. "What else do you want?"

The shopkeeper gave him a shrug and again considered it. "500 rupees." he stated.

Sakon paused. "...I don't have 500 rupees."

"Not my problem. 500 rupees or a favour."

Sakon rested his elbows on the counter as he thought that through and gave a look to the raccoon which rubbed its head against his arm.

"500 rupees but I'll owe you." he stated.

The shopkeeper shook his head. "Payment up front."

"I'm your nephew, you know I'm good for it."

"I've never met you before and I expect payment up front."

Sakon knew he was really pushing his luck, but he narrowed his eyes accusingly at the shopkeeper. "I don't believe you." he stated. "You're no 'simple shopkeeper'! What's on this island that you want so badly?"

The shopkeeper gave him another grin. "You're very confused, dear boy, perhaps you've had a bit too much sun?"

Sakon met his gaze evenly. "When I was 8, I stole 50 rupees out of your cash drawer."

The shopkeeper twitched, a reaction barely noticeable then gave a shrug. "You have me mistaken for someone else."

Sakon leaned over the counter. "When I was 12, I switched all of the price-tags on your masks then blamed a customer. When Guru Guru took over your shop for the day, he didn't know about the switched tags and he accidentally sold a 1000 rupee mask for 20 rupees. I was too scared to tell you at the time because I thought you'd kill me."

The shopkeeper's eyes seemed to glint red for a moment but he quickly blinked and resumed grinning at Sakon in a friendly fashion. "I own an item shop, not a mask shop. I've never been off of this island before."

Sakon was now feeling very bold indeed. "You know that really expensive mask I accidentally broke that got me banned from your shop a few months ago? I broke it on purpose. I dropped it onto the floor when your back was turned. I was mad that you wouldn't give me a loan."

"WHAT?!"

The 'shopkeeper' slammed both of his fists down onto the counter, his eyes now slitted and red and expression anything but happy as Sakon let out a yelp and jumped backwards. Realizing he may have said just a bit too much, Sakon let out a nervous giggle as the The Happy Mask Salesman seemed to radiate anger.

"Um...uh, I was just joking." Sakon tried to lie. "I just wanted you to admit who you were..."

The Happy Mask Salesman almost seemed to be glowing in a green aura which was really worrying Sakon as he knew his uncle was capable of doing really horrible things when he put his mind to it.

"1500 rupees." Sakon said quickly. "I'll pay you 1500 rupees."

The Happy Mask Salesman paused.

"500 for the cure and 1000 for the mask incident from when I was 12."

The Happy Mask Salesman crossed his arms and seemed to consider it. "You don't have 1500 rupees." he pointed out.

"I'll pay you later." Sakon promised.

The Happy Mask Salesman seemed skeptical. "You don't steal from me." he warned.

Sakon nodded his head in agreement.

"Others have stolen from me and they all tend to meet unfortunate endings." he stated. "Unless you want to pay the ultimate price, I suggest you take my advice and don't steal from me."

Sakon gulped and gave another nod.

The Happy Mask Salesman gave him a wide grin. "Very well, I will cure this curse as agreed."

Reaching underneath the counter, he pulled out a pouch and set it on the counter. Opening the pouch, he took a pinch of the powder within then threw it into the raccoons face. The raccoon let out a shriek of protest then immediately began violently sneezing and fell off the counter as it rubbed and clawed at its nose. Sakon stared in amazement as there was a puff of smoke then the raccoon began transforming. Sakon's mouth then dropped open when Tarin stood before him instead of The Postman.

"What in Din's name?" he demanded. "Where's Jihiro?"

Sakon stared all of a moment before his expression turned horrified and he let out a sound of disgust and rubbed his hands on his pants.

"Eww! I petted the big fat, greasy, drunk! Ewww! "

Tarin seemed incredibly confused and scratched at his head as if not sure how he got to the item shop. "...mushrooms..." he muttered to himself.

Sakon rounded on The Happy Mask Salesman who was still grinning as if nothing unusual had happened at all. "You! You knew he wasn't Jihiro! Where's Jihiro?"

The Happy Mask Salesman gave a shrug. "We made a deal for me to cure this raccoon which I did. The deal has been made. You never asked if this was your friend."

"You should have told me!"

The Happy Mask Salesman gave another shrug.

Sakon scowled at him. "Fine. Ha ha, so what will it take for you to cure Jihiro?"

"A favour."

"No."

"Then your friend will live out his days as a raccoon." The Happy Mask Salesman said, seemingly not caring one way or another.

Sakon gave Tarin a look of death. "You fat drunk! This is all YOUR fault! You owe me 1500 rupees!"

Tarin gave another look of confusion. "Mushroom?"

Sakon wrinkled his nose at him then turned his attention back to his uncle. "What kind of favour?"

"There's a mask on this island that I want."

Sakon's eyes widened. "No way! Are you crazy?"

The Happy Mask Salesman brushed back a bit of his hair with one hand then said. "It is perfectly safe as long as you don't put it on." he assured. "Touching it will not cause you any harm."

"You're here so why don't you get it?"

The Happy Mask Salesman let out a sigh. "The Windfish forbade me to take it. He controls this island so I must abide by his rules. Everyone has their part to play in this dream and I have taken the role of the shopkeeper and cannot leave the shop until the Windfish wakes. Someone must retrieve the mask for me if I wish to have it."

Sakon crossed his arms. "What does it do?" he asked suspiciously.

"That is none of your concern."

"Well, what if I decide to put it on?" Sakon challenged.

"Go ahead." The Happy Mask Salesman responded, with a smile.

Remembering the one and only time he had ever put on one of his uncle's masks, Sakon felt a shiver of fear make its way up his spine. He would never be able to put on another mask again and The Happy Mask Salesman knew this. Knowing he was being shamelessly manipulated, Sakon gave a gulp and averted his eyes.

"Where is it?"

"There are several dungeons you'll have to face on this island. One of the monsters within the dungeons will have the mask. Bring it to me once you find it."

"I'm your nephew, you shouldn't make me do this in the first place! You should just help me!"

"I overlook a lot because you're my nephew." The Happy Mask Salesman responded, evenly. "How many people do you think I help?"

Sakon pondered about it. "Okay, fine. I'll be back with Jihiro, but you better tell me whether it's really him this time!"

The Happy Mask Salesman gave him a nod.

Sakon turned to Tarin who was watching the whole exchange with a somewhat glazed look.

"My backpack is in the forest. Go find it for me." Sakon ordered. "I'll be coming back later to collect the money you owe me for saving you!"

Blankly, Tarin gave a nod and left the shop still muttering about mushrooms. Sakon let out a resigned sigh, not liking how he'd been outsmarted and gave his uncle one last glare as he too left the shop. Once back outside, Sakon jumped into the air and headed back towards the forest, hoping there weren't too many cursed raccoons hiding within the Mysterious Woods.

Below him all he saw were monsters and trees and after an hour of searching he began to feel discouraged. Anything could have happened to one small raccoon. A monster could have killed it, a fox could have eaten it or it could have found a cave or hole to crawl down into. He came to the clearing he'd found the other raccoon in and landed down to see if there was any sign of The Postman around. The clearing was completely empty so Sakon turned his attention to the North, remembering how the previous raccoon had seemed so determined to make him go that direction.

He stared to the North, not wanting to fall into a trap but feeling like there was something in that direction he was supposed to find. Cautiously heading through the trees, he walked for a few minutes until he came to a second clearing with a large treasure chest sitting at its centre. It wasn't the chest that caught Sakon's attention however, it was the raccoon crouched on top of it, clutching a key to its furry chest. Sakon took a step forward.

"Jihiro?" Sakon questioned.

The raccoon turned to face him and narrowed its eyes and Sakon noticed it had a very familiar burn on its neck. Sakon let out a breath of relief.

"I finally found you!"

"You'll never get it!" the raccoon told him, clutching the key even tighter. "I will drop it into the ocean!"

"Now why would you do that?" Sakon questioned.

"Because you want it." the raccoon answered simply. "I am a raccoon and as a raccoon I play tricks on people!"

"But you need it too." Sakon pointed out. "If you drop it into the ocean then you're only hurting yourself."

The raccoon let out a snort. "Raccoons don't need keys; keys are for men."

Sakon knelt down and edged a bit closer. "Don't you remember who you are? You are a man!"

The raccoon hopped down off the chest, its black eyes watching Sakon warily. "You cannot trick me." it stated. "I am a raccoon; I have always been this way."

"No, you've been that way for like two hours tops." Sakon corrected, slowly reaching out towards it.

The raccoon hissed at him in warning and Sakon hesitated. The other raccoon had enjoyed being petted so certainly this one would too, right? He just had to get a hold of it to show it he meant no harm. The raccoon was much more alert than the other one and was watching his movements closely as Sakon very, very slowly continued edging towards it. The moment he reached out towards it again, however, it gave another hiss, its fur standing straight up on end.

"I will bite." it warned.

"Why?" Sakon asked. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Because I don't want you to touch me."

This was definitely The Postman alright.

"Okay," Sakon said with a nod. "I won't touch you."

The raccoon seemed suspicious and narrowed its eyes further, obviously trying to figure out if Sakon was telling the truth. Sakon gave it a friendly smile which made it even more distrusting then Sakon said.

You know this is my first time meeting a talking raccoon, I've never- LOOK OUT!" Sakon suddenly screamed. "FOX! IT'S A FOX!"

The raccoon instantly spun around to where Sakon was pointing and Sakon made his move and lunged at the raccoon. He caught it around the middle just as it realized it had been tricked and it let out a ferocious snarl as Sakon wrapped his arms around it. Sakon tried to pet it but this raccoon was struggling with all its might, biting and clawing at any bit of skin it could reach and Sakon almost dropped it as it attacked him.

The raccoon sunk its teeth into his arm and Sakon let out a shrill yelp, yanking at its fur in an attempt to pull it free. The raccoon no longer seemed like a person who had been cursed but more like a genuine wild animal. As it, growled, hissed and clawed at him, Sakon struggled to get a grip on the raccoon.

"By the goddesses!" Sakon exclaimed. "You have rabies!"

Sakon finally managed to get the raccoon by the scruff of the neck and held it far from himself as it continued hissing and snarling threateningly. Despite having clawed him up pretty good, the raccoon still maintained a tight grip on the key, and was obviously determined to keep it away from him.

"Stop it!" Sakon ordered as it tried to snap at his hand. "I'm not going to hurt you!"

The raccoon flattened its ears against his head, its eyes narrowed to small, black slits. Sakon could tell by its expression that it was just waiting for an opportunity to bite him again and held it even further away.

"How come the drunk had a better temperament than you?" he demanded. "You're lucky you're so cute right now or I'd have a new hat."

The raccoon bared its pointy little teeth at him so Sakon stuck his tongue out at it. Jumping into the air, he couldn't help but feel satisfied when the raccoon stiffened in fear. Its eyes grew very round as they went higher and higher and Sakon was tempted to pretend he was going to drop it just to hear it squeal.

His arms were covered in blood from the attack a moment ago and he was indeed a petty enough person to do such a thing but still wasn't sure if The Postman would remember any of this. The Postman was angry enough at him as it was so he didn't really want to give him anything else to whine about.

As they went higher and higher into the sky, the raccoon puffed itself up much like a cat and turned nervous eyes to Sakon.

"...changed mind." it said frantically. "Raccoons like to be held safely...not dropped."

Sakon gave it a wide grin. "Oh, so now your attitude changes." he commented. "Well, what if I've changed my mind? What if I don't want to hold you anymore? You are rather heavy..."

The raccoon's eyes went even wider. "No! I will give you the key! No more tricks, I promise! No more tricks!"

Sakon gave the raccoon a mischievous look which it didn't like at all. "Hmm, say you're sorry for attacking me." he ordered. "Then I'll consider it."

"I'm sorry!" the raccoon immediately cried. "Very sorry!"

Sakon's grin became a bit wider and he loosened his hold a bit. The raccoon let out a loud, frantic squeak and kicked its short, stubby legs uselessly.

"Sorry for what?" Sakon urged, knowing he was being a complete bully but not caring.

"Sorry for scratching and for biting your ugly, greasy head!" the raccoon cried. "I am sorry!"

Sakon frowned at the raccoon. "You are not a pleasant raccoon." he stated. "I like you better as a human. You're not as mean."

He brought the raccoon closer to himself, intending on holding it more securely but it had other ideas. The moment the raccoon's paws touched his arms, it grabbed a hold of his shirt and scrambled up inside it, shaking like a leaf. It was holding on like its life depended on it and Sakon winced as several claws found his stomach.

"Ow!" Sakon protested angrily. "Watch those nails!"

The raccoons nose poked out near his neck and a low, shaky growl came from somewhere within his shirt.

"You can't be intimidating while hiding in my shirt." Sakon pointed out. "It just comes off as cute."

The nose disappeared again and there wasn't another sound.

Sakon let out a giggle at the sulking lump in his shirt and gave it a poke. Shaking his head, he started back towards the village, glad to have finally found his friend. When he reached the item shop and touched down, the raccoon felt it and poked its entire head out to look. Sakon quickly entered the item shop before it could decide to attack him again.

The Happy Mask Salesman raised an eyebrow at the squirming lump in Sakon's shirt but said nothing about it as his nephew approached the counter. Sakon lifted his shirt, gave it a few hard shakes and sent the raccoon tumbling onto the counter. The raccoon shook its head, looked up and upon seeing The Happy Mask Salesman, immediately began hissing and backing away.

"This is him, right?" Sakon asked hopefully. "It better be after he clawed half my face off."

The Happy Mask Salesman nodded without a word.

Sakon let out a breath of relief. "Good, now fix him."

"Remember our bargain, Sakon." The Happy Mask Salesman cautioned, taking a pinch of the powder. "I'm not in a hurry but I do expect you to follow through."

Sakon waved him off. "Yeah, yeah."

The Happy Mask Salesman brought his hand towards the raccoon who reacted in the best way it knew how. It bit him as hard as it could. Surprised, The Happy Mask Salesman retracted his hand, several bright red drops of blood splattering onto the counter. Sakon's eyes widened in complete horror, certain his friend was now doomed. The Happy Mask Salesman narrowed his eyes at the snarling raccoon, glanced down at his bleeding hand then threw the powder into the raccoon's face.

The raccoon's hisses instantly turned to sneezes and it fell backwards off the counter as it batted and clawed at its nose. There was a poof of smoke and when it cleared, Sakon was relieved to see The Postman in the raccoon's place.

The Postman blinked a few times then glanced around himself in confusion. Seeing that he was now in the item shop sitting at Sakon's feet, he hesitated then slowly got up. Sakon grinned at him widely.

"Welcome back, Darling!"

The Postman furrowed his brow. "Back? Back from where?"

Sakon tried to set a hand on his shoulder but his hand passed right through the other man. Deflating in disappointment, he replied. "Nowhere."

The Postman noticed The Happy Mask Salesman staring at him with a large, friendly grin, but something seemed off about the smile. The expression itself was friendly but it left a feeling of unease inside him and he quickly looked away.

"...how did I get here?" The Postman asked uncertainly. "We were in the forest..."

"Um, the mushroom teleported us..." Sakon lied. "It was magic."

"Teleported?" The Postman questioned, looking down at the key in his hand. "Where did this come from?"

"...the mushroom gave it to you?"

The Postman gave Sakon a look of disbelief then noticed for the first time how scratched up the thief was. "What happened to you?" he asked. "It looks like you fell in a rosebush."

"A raccoon tried to eat my face."

The Postman crossed his arms. "All this happened while being teleported and I didn't notice?"

"...you teleported really, really slowly."

The Postman gave him a skeptical look. "You expect me to believe that?"

"Yep."

The Postman decided he didn't really care and didn't bother questioning it any more than that. They had the key, no one that he knew of was hurt so that's all that really mattered. The Happy Mask Salesman pushed the pouch of powder towards The Postman, his grin never once wavering.

"You'll need this." he stated. "It has some interesting properties."

Sakon peered into the pouch at the white powder but wasn't able to touch it. "This stuff's cool; what is it?"

The Happy Mask Salesman's grin grew a little wider. "It's a magic powder derived from an odd mushroom found only in the Mysterious Woods. If eaten, the mushrooms have an interesting side effect..."

The Postman gave a nod. "Teleporting?"

"HEY!" Sakon cut in before his uncle could say any more. "Take the pouch, we have to get going! No time to be chatting! Now get your ass moving and stop being so lazy!"

The Postman took the pouch off the counter and his eyes fell on the bite-mark on The Happy Mask Salesman's hand. The wound was still bleeding and The Postman got an strange feeling that he should know how it had happened.

"Sir...your hand?" he asked, pointing to the blood. "What happened?"

Sakon quickly blocked his view and pointed towards the door, looking a bit frantic. "Come on!" he urged.

The Happy Mask Salesman pushed Sakon aside so that his gaze fell back on The Postman and Sakon backed away, realizing his uncle had more power on the island than he let on.

"Everyone has a mask destined to find them, postman." The Happy Mask Salesman stated in a serious tone. "Some wear theirs already, others have yet to discover theirs. The kind of mask all depends on you. No other can decide for you. Keep this in mind throughout your journey. There's much about your life that even you don't yet understand."

The Postman now realized exactly who he was speaking to and frowned. He knew Sakon's family weren't exactly known for being on the up and up but he wondered what The Happy Mask Salesman wanted on Koholint island. How did he even get there in the first place?

The Postman clutched the pouch tightly in one hand and felt it would be best if he left. He wasn't sure what he did to anger him but The Happy Mask Salesman never told anyone anything good. If something was going to happen to him in the future then it was going to be something horrible. He could count on it. He turned away from the counter much to Sakon's relief.

"Thank you, sir. I'll keep what you said in mind."

As they left the shop, The Happy Mask Salesman called after Sakon. "A deal has been made, Sakon. Do not disappoint me."

Once they were outside, The Postman glanced at Sakon suspiciously. "What have you gotten yourself into now?" he demanded.

Sakon averted his gaze. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with."

"And when exactly did this whole business transaction take place?"

"While you were slowly teleporting." Sakon replied with a shrug.

"But how-"

"Hero Postman! Bald man!"

The Postman looked up and saw Tarin hurrying towards them, carrying Sakon's backpack. "I found your bag in the woods beside a lovely patch of mushrooms! I picked dozens of them! I'm going to have them with my supper tonight but you should really learn to be more careful with your possessions!"

The Postman gratefully took the backpack and slipped it over one of his shoulders. "Thank you, sir, I hadn't realized I'd lost it."

Tarin gave him a smile then turned to hurry back to his cottage, bag of mushrooms in hand.

The Postman turned the strange key over in his hand as they began walking along the path leading out of town, and scratched distractedly at his arm. It wasn't just his arm that itched however and after a moment of scratching, The Postman lifted his shirt and looked down at his stomach. Several small red spots covered his stomach and he scratched at them with a frown. Why was he covered in flea bites? When did that happen? The Postman gave Sakon a suspicious look. Exactly what had happened after he'd bitten into that mushroom?

Sakon gave him a happy grin as he drew his sword and he pointed it towards the beach. "Onward, brave postman! Destiny awaits!"

The Postman scratched at his back with a frown and at that moment decided destiny and he were enemies.

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**Sakon is wondering how long it'll be before The Postman figures it out. He's hoping it'll be never.  
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**Reviews Make The Author Happy!**


	13. Tail Cave

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**Hey guys, here's chapter 13 but just to warn you, I'm not happy with it at all. If something doesn't seem right or if you think there's something that might improve it, just let me know and i'll do my best to fix it. This chapter is dedicated to my good friend Knight who was just killed this past week in a horrible, horrible farming accident. His favourite parts of my stories were the dungeons/temples and this entire chapter is a dungeon scene just for him. I apologize in advance if the chapter seems a bit slow compared to the others.**

**********A huge thank you to my reviewers who always have such nice things to say:  
**

**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Toolazytologin  
**

**ChocolateMilkLOL  
**

**Mikaufan101**

**Renle**

**Light-Sakura**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll hopefully have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

Tail Cave

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They had found Tail Cave to the South of the island just as Kaepora Gaebora had told them and the only obstacles they came across were a few Octoroks. Sakon had cut down any monster in their path and now they both stood at the entrance of the cave, everything about it seeming ominous. Ivy climbed the walls all around the cave, almost hiding the elaborate carvings and decorations carved into the stone wall. The Postman studied the carvings curiously, wondering at their meaning but Sakon clearly was impatient to get going. He kept sighing as The Postman looked the whole area over and it got louder and louder until finally The Postman was forced to acknowledge him.

"I get the hint, Sakon."

Sakon let out a snort and waved his sword towards the cave. "Obviously not because I still don't see you moving!"

The Postman's eyes fell on the door to the cave which was sealed tightly and he knew just by looking at it, he'd never be able to move it. Three small statues stood in front of the cave, also covered in ivy and The Postman pulled some of it away to look them over. The statues resembled jesters with belled hats and checkered patterns and The Postman noticed the centre one had a keyhole for a mouth.

The Postman looked down at the key in his hand, then at the statue as Sakon floated over to see what he was doing.

"You put the key in the keyhole." Sakon informed him helpfully. "Now hurry up."

The Postman knew very well what the key was for and gave Sakon a dirty look as he stuck it into the keyhole. The moment he turned it, the entire cave seemed to shake and the cave's entrance slid open to reveal a deep, black hole. Sakon clapped his hands together and took the lead, completely unafraid, and The Postman trailed after him getting his shield ready just in case.

The moment they entered the cave, torches sprung to life lighting the entire room and Sakon gave him a lopsided grin. "Well, that's convenient at least." he stated. "Now you won't have to waste my lantern."

The room was sparsely decorated with several inactive Beamos sitting the centre and Sakon poked at them with the sword in disappointment. There were two doorways, one to the East of the room and the other straight leading to the North. Sakon gave a quick look around the room then headed to the North as The Postman gave a glance to the East. He had a feeling there was something important there but wasn't sure what.

"Shouldn't we look to the East first before continuing through the dungeon?" he questioned.

Sakon gave another fleeting look to the East but clearly wasn't interested. "Trust me, darling, all the interesting things are always hidden in the most obvious spots. I've learned a few things from being a thief after all!"

The Postman didn't know much about dungeons and even less about being a thief so he gave a nod, knowing Sakon likely knew what he was doing.

The next room to the North had some sort of strange beetle-crab monster in the centre of it and Sakon let out an excited yell, eager to fight something new. The monster was completely surrounded by a seemingly bottomless chasm and The Postman wondered how it had even gotten there in the first place. It snapped its claws at them threateningly but seemed more wary than vicious.

Sakon floated straight for it, swinging the sword wildly and it quickly hid in its shell to avoid him. The sword bounced harmlessly off the thick, black shell and Sakon frowned down at the monster.

"Cheater." he complained.

Sakon continued hacking and stabbing at it, but the shell didn't even scratch from his efforts. Determined to defeat absolutely anything, Sakon raised the sword high above his head with both hands, prepared to bring it down. The Postman was watching Sakon, not particularly impressed and didn't notice two very small monsters making their way towards him.

Sakon brought the sword down as hard as he could and the monster was knocked backwards from the force. Unable to stop itself, it fell into the chasm, snapping its claws desperately at thin air. Sakon stared down into the darkness for a moment then his shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"Aww." he said grumpily, "I almost had him!"

The Postman rolled his eyes, secretly hoping the monster's hard shell saved it from the fall. He was about to respond but let out a yelp of surprise as the two monsters jumped on him, attaching themselves, firmly to his legs. The Postman looked down and saw two very small Jellies latched onto him and relaxed when he saw they were too small to actually hurt him. Sakon upon hearing the yelp, instantly floated over, sword at the ready, looking for the attacker. When his gaze fell on the Jellies, he pointed his sword at them.

"Unhand him, foul creatures!" he yelled out heroically.

The Postman raised an eyebrow and simply reached down and pulled the Jellies off his legs without a word.

"Well, they could have been dangerous." Sakon said petulantly.

"Right." The Postman stated, turning to look at the next two doorways.

He'd never actually navigated a dungeon without a letter to deliver and somehow it just felt wrong to him. He'd always depended on his ability to find anyone, anywhere but on the island, he felt nothing. It was a dreamworld so the only one who seemed real was the Windfish. Everyone and everything else seemed like an allusion and it made him uncomfortable.

There was a door to the East and another to the West and The Postman turned to Sakon.

"Now which way?" he questioned.

Sakon pointed to the East. "We go to the left because right is never right!"

"But if you face the other way, then the West door will be the left door. How do you know which is right and which is left when it changes depending on where you're standing?"

"Shut up, darling, you over-think things." Sakon said, once again taking the lead.

The Postman was beginning to think most of what Sakon did was from pure luck but still followed after him without a word. The moment they entered the next room, the doors all locked, trapping them inside and Sakon placed himself in front of The Postman waiting for whatever foe he'd have to face. Nothing immediately attacked them, then they heard a high-pitched squeaking coming from above. Sakon looked up and saw four Keese sitting on the wall, watching them.

"Ugh, this dungeon sucks. These monsters are pathetic." Sakon complained. "I want a challenge! Did someone seriously think a Keese would defeat an intruder? Has anyone ever even been killed by one before?"

Stomping his way over, he easily killed the Keese and the doors immediately unlocked themselves. Heading towards the only other door in the room, they went through it and Sakon let out a yell of pure glee at the sight of a new monster. A Mini-Moldorm made its way straight for them and Sakon happily killed it, humming as he did so.

"Too bad it was only a little one." he commented, pointing to the chest the monster had been guarding.

"Grab the loot for me, darling." Sakon ordered.

The Postman opened the chest and found a red rupee which he stuffed into the backpack then followed Sakon as he continued through the room North. At the farthest part of the room, there was just a single Keese and Blade-trap. Sakon killed the Keese then poked at the Blade-trap as it bounced back and forth between the walls, trying to block their path.

"Hmm, can you kill these things?" Sakon questioned.

The Postman gave a shrug, running past the trap with perfect timing. "It's fine." he stated. "It's not bothering us."

"Well, it's trying to!" Sakon protested.

The Postman stopped walking at the sight of the locked door and turned to look at Sakon who was still poking at the Blade-trap.

"It's locked, we need a key."

Sakon glanced up then let out a snort. "You're with the king of thieves, we don't need keys! I'll just pick the lock."

The Postman crossed his arms. "Let's see you try." he challenged.

Sakon's eyes widened. "Did you just question my lock-picking abilities?!"

"Not at all." The Postman answered. "I'm questioning your ability to pick up a lock-pick."

Sakon hesitated, having forgotten he couldn't touch anything. "Oh..."

The Postman turned away. "Let's go find the key."

Sakon puffed out his chest indignantly. "I'm the best thief in the world! I refuse to stoop to using a key!"

"Then what exactly do you suggest?" The Postman asked, beginning to feel impatient.

Sakon pondered a second then gave him a grin. "You'll pick the lock!"

The Postman stared at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Me?"

Sakon nodded.

"I don't know how to pick a lock." The Postman informed him.

"That's fine!" Sakon assured him. "I'll teach you! It's really easy once you learn how. There's a case with my lock-picking tools in the second pouch in the back of my backpack."

The Postman doubted picking a lock was as easy as Sakon said but still dug around inside the backpack until he found the tools. Sakon knelt down and peered into the keyhole, studying the inside for a moment then gave a nod.

"Don't worry, this lock is really crappy. You can't get any easier than this unless the door was unlocked!

The Postman opened the tool-case and Sakon pointed at one of the picks. "Use that one."

"And do what?" The Postman asked, picking up the lock-pick.

"Pick the lock, genius!"

"How?"

Sakon let out a sigh and motioned for The Postman to come closer to the door. "Stick the pick into the lock and feel for a little notch towards the bottom back of the mechanism."

The Postman nodded and did as he was told but he wasn't sure what to do and couldn't seem to find a notch. Sakon watched him fumble for a minute or two and obviously wanted to just grab the pick from him and do it himself but knew there was nothing he could do. Kneeling down so he could see exactly what The Postman was doing, he let out a sigh of exasperation.

"No, not there!" he scolded. "Move the curved end over a little to the right, then press down."

The Postman moved the lock-pick over a little and Sakon gave a nod. "Yes, there!" he said. "Now press down!"

The Postman pressed down and felt something give a little bit.

"Okay good, now grab the big pick on the end, the straight one!"

The Postman took the indicated pick and Sakon gave a nod. "Now stick this one up towards the top of the mechanism. You'll feel a similar notch."

The Postman felt along the top of the lock mechanism but once again had trouble finding the notch Sakon was talking about.

"More to the left." Sakon told him. "Now pull the pick just a tiny bit towards you. Once it's there, twist both your hands to the right."

This time, The Postman felt the notch and pressed on it, feeling the lock give and he turned his hands as told and a moment later there was a click. Sakon gave him a proud grin.

"Congratulations, darling, you just committed your first breaking and entering!"

The Postman didn't respond to that and instead opened the door and shoved the tools back into the backpack. Sakon entered the room first, sword at the ready then let out a disappointed sigh when there were only a couple Sparks to be seen.

"I don't know how to kill these." Sakon complained. "I don't think I can do it with a sword."

"You don't have to kill everything in your path, you know." The Postman pointed out. "We can just walk around the Sparks and they won't bother us as long as we don't get in their way."

"Yeah, but that's boring. I wouldn't have been given a sword if I wasn't expected to use it!"

"Whoever gave that to you, probably didn't expect you to stab at anything that moved."

They navigated the room around the Sparks, much to Sakon's annoyance until they came to a sealed door on the other side. There was no key-hole on this door so Sakon gave a glance around the room.

"There has to be a switch somewhere around here." Sakon told him. "You stay here, away from the Sparks, and I'll take a closer look around the room."

Without waiting for a response, Sakon flew back across the room, inspecting the walls and ceiling closely for anything out of place. The Postman watched Sakon for a while but he wasn't doing anything particularly fascinating so he lost interest quickly. Leaning against the stone block near the door, he was quite startled when it gave way and slid back a few feet. The door slid open and The Postman stared a moment then called over to Sakon.

"Sakon, the door opened!" he informed him.

Sakon looked over then gave a grin. "Guess we found the switch."

Sakon readied his sword then entered the new room with The Postman at his heals and immediately swung at the monster that came at them as quick as lightening. The monster's shell was solid much like the beetle-crab from before and the sword bounced harmlessly off. The Postman jumped out of the way of its spiked shell and a second monster came in for the attack. Sakon tried to attack it but once again the shell withstood the sword and it came right at The Postman. This time, The Postman was a little more prepared and threw up his shield just as it reached him.

The monster smashed into the shield hard and was knocked backwards as The Postman hit the wall behind him solidly. The monster landed on its back and kicked its legs uselessly trying to right itself to no avail. Sakon spotted its soft underbelly and stabbed down with his sword, effectively killing it. The Postman was a bit winded from hitting the wall so hard and threw up his shield a second time just as the second monster came at him. Like the first, it bounced off the shield and ended up on its back, completely helpless. Sakon quickly stabbed it then let out a laugh.

"Ha! That's what you get for trying to cheat!"

Knowing he probably had a few bruises on his back from the impact, The Postman gave a wince then looked up at Sakon.

"Stop lazing about." Sakon ordered him. "We still have a lot of temple to explore!"

The Postman let out a sigh, knowing it would do no good to argue and he followed Sakon towards a stairwell spiralling down into the darkness.

"This looks promising!" Sakon exclaimed. "I bet we're close to something good!"

Eyeing the dark, ominous looking stairs, The Postman wasn't so sure. Sakon headed down them without hesitation and The Postman trailed after him, feeling rather wary. The stairs led down to a dark, damp tunnel that The Postman suspected was a sewer of some sort and he stopped on the bottom step, not sure he'd be willing to walk through it in his bare feet. Sakon got about halfway across the tunnel killing small monsters before he noticed The Postman had stopped following. Turning, he saw The Postman still standing on the staircase and furrowed his brow.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

The Postman looked around at the dripping, somewhat smelly tunnel and gave a shudder. He was an incredibly clean person by nature and the thought of even touching the tunnel floor made him a bit nauseous. His entire life, he'd kept himself and his clothes pristine so there was no way he was stepping foot onto that floor.

"I'm done." he said decidedly. "You'll just have to save yourself."

"What?" Sakon asked in disbelief. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm not going through a sewer!" The Postman replied, crossing his arms defensively. "I'm in my bare feet and everything is slimy."

Sakon rolled his eyes. "You're such a girl. You wouldn't believe some of the places I've had to crawl through. Believe me, this is nothing!"

"No."

"Then what are we supposed to do?" Sakon demanded angrily. "Give up just because you don't want to get a little dirty?"

"Sounds about right to me." The Postman answered, also quite annoyed.

"This is ridiculous! Don't be such a baby; it's just a sewer."

The Postman looked away stubbornly.

Sakon let out an over-dramatic sigh. "If any gods or goddesses are watching this, you may want to step in now because I seriously think he means it. This quest will be over if he quits."

"Who are you talking to?" The Postman asked.

Sakon gave a shrug. "This is a dreamworld so obviously the Windfish is controlling it and I bet a few other gods are in on this too. They probably wouldn't want you to quit after just the first dungeon. I bet they put a lot of work into this dream."

"Tough."

As soon as the word left his mouth, the entire tunnel shimmered in a strange grey light. It disappeared a second later and the tunnel was now completely different. Instead of being damp and slimy, it was bone dry smelling musty instead of dirty. Both looked around themselves in surprise then Sakon let out a laugh.

"I guess they didn't want you ruining their fun. Does the tunnel meet your satisfaction now, your majesty?"

The Postman gave another glance around then stepped down off the step. Sakon gave a sarcastic little cheer, then once again turned to lead the way. The Postman followed after him as Sakon slashed at the monsters in their way. When they reached the other end of the tunnel, they headed up the staircase and the room they found at the top was blood red in colour but there were no monsters in sight.

Sakon led him through the very narrow room, his eyes trained far ahead at a chest laying waiting. "It's gotta be something good! The good stuff is always hidden in places like this!"

Two Blade-traps were waiting just in front of the chest and as Sakon approached, they both shot forward, bumping into each other not expecting to go right through the thief.

"HA!" Sakon mocked. "Bet you feel stupid now, eh?"

The Blade-traps weren't very bright and kept trying to get him, bouncing off each other every single time. Sakon laughed, quite enjoying teasing the monsters and The Postman let out a sigh. Stepping over a Blade-trap, he made his way to the chest, curious about what was hidden inside. The usual magical charm jingled as he opened the chest, and Sakon spun around in surprise.

"Hey!" he protested. "You didn't wait for me!"

The Postman didn't answer, simply frowning down into the chest uncertainly.

"What?" Sakon demanded, hurrying over. "What is it?"

"...it's a pile of feathers."

Sakon peered over his shoulder into the chest and sure enough, there were several white feathers laying on the bottom. Sakon clapped his hands in pure delight.

"Don't you know what those are?!" he cried.

"...feathers?"

"They're Roc's feathers!" Sakon corrected. "Just one of these is worth a king's ransom! They are unbelievably rare!"

The Postman didn't see what was so fantastic about a feather but Sakon was certainly excited enough.

"Oh, please, please, please let this item be for me!" Sakon yelled hopefully, reaching down to take the feathers.

Sakon's hand passed right through them and he let out a heartbroken sigh. "It's not mine." he stated in disappointment. "It's yours."

"Why would I want a feather?" The Postman asked, carefully picking them up.

"Well, first because they're worth a fortune and second because they can make you jump."

"I can already jump fine." The Postman informed him.

"No." Sakon corrected. "I mean they can really make you jump; like a grasshopper."

The Postman turned the feathers over in his hand and considered the uses of being able to jump farther distances. "This would be useful for delivering mail." he stated.

Sakon immediately rolled his eyes. "You and that stupid job of yours."

The Postman didn't answer, still looking the feathers over from all angles. They didn't really look like anything special and he wondered how they worked.

"It doesn't look like there's another way out of this room so we'll have to do some backtracking." Sakon told him, still eyeing the feathers jealously.

The Postman gave a nod and hopped over the Blade-traps, surprised at how easily he jumped over them. His body literately felt as light as a feather and he was certain he'd be able to jump quite far if the need arose. All the monsters were dead throughout that part of the dungeon so it didn't take long at all to backtrack. When they were back to the room where the Mini-Moldorm had been, Sakon led them to the West where they discovered a second Mini-Moldorm which Sakon quickly killed. This was a room they hadn't been in yet and Sakon looked around it suspiciously. Two Sparks were bouncing around the room, and Sakon's eyes fell on a door on the opposite side of the room, the door surrounded by a deep, black chasm.

"How far do you think you can jump?" Sakon asked, curiously. "Think you can make it across?"

The Postman glanced down at the feather in his hand, feeling almost certain he could make it. "I think so." he responded, trying to gauge the distance.

Sakon frowned. "You think?" he questioned. "I don't want you falling into a bottomless pit, I need you. You better be sure."

Sakon floated across the chasm to wait for him and The Postman eyed the Sparks as he prepared himself for the jump. Getting a running start, he ran past them fast then leaped across the chasm, landing safely beside Sakon. Sakon gave him a grin, obviously relieved, then motioned for him to follow into the next room. The moment they passed through the doorway, the door locked behind them and Sakon immediately drew his sword.

"Get out your shield." Sakon ordered, as a strange blob-like monster smirked at them from across the room.

The Postman pulled the shield from where he'd attached it to the backpack and held it at the ready, unsure of what was going to happen. Sakon wasted no time and threw himself at the monster, swinging his sword viciously and the monster let out a cry as the blade struck it. Sakon swung at it time and time again and the monster wasn't even able to move. A spiked roller was sent rolling across the room and The Postman jumped over it, just as Sakon defeated the monster. Sakon frowned down at the body of the monster and let out another sigh.

"How can they call this a mini-boss?" he demanded. "It really sucked. The Octoroks were more difficult!"

"Mini-boss?" The Postman questioned, approaching.

"Don't you know anything?" Sakon asked incredulously. "Just how far under that rock have you been living? A mini-boss is the weak monster right before the main one! All dungeons and temples have a mini-boss! You really need to get out more!"

"I do get out." The Postman defended, thinking of the time five years ago when he'd taken a vacation. "I don't only work."

Sakon didn't believe it for a second and it clearly showed on his face. "Right. Whatever you say, darling."

"I read the newspaper too...well, sometimes. I don't get a lot of free time during the day..."

"Mmm hmm." Sakon responded, glancing towards the next room. "Remind me to never let you plan any parties for me."

"Let's just go." The Postman answered grumpily, heading towards the door. "I want to get this dungeon over with and go home."

Sakon's eyes widened. "You think there's only one dungeon?!"

The Postman stopped and slowly turned back around. His brown eyes were narrowed and Sakon took a step back.

"Exactly how many dungeons are there?" The Postman demanded, his tone bordering on dangerous.

Sakon took another step back, not wanting The Postman to hit him with the shield once he answered. "Um...a couple more..." he said uncertainly.

"How. Many."

"I don't know." Sakon answered honestly. "My uncle said there were several but he didn't give me an exact number. With most quests there's usually at least 3 or 4, isn't there? Or 5 or 6..."

The Postman looked positively furious and turned away without a word. He continued on to the next room and Sakon followed after him at a distance, trying to determine how angry he was.

"Um, I'm not the one who set up the dungeons." Sakon said apologetically. "I'm sorry you had to get dragged into this. I do appreciate it though..."

The Postman flashed him a glare over his shoulder but the fire seemed to have left him and a moment later he let out a sigh. "I know." he replied, sounding resigned.

He looked like he was about to say something more as he entered the next room but he cut off as two Blade-traps slid at him fast. He jumped out of the way and they bounced harmlessly off of one another.

"Whoa. That was a close one." Sakon commented. "I think you'd better let me go first into rooms from now on."

The Postman was glad that he was fast or the Blade-traps would have cut him right in half if they had of got him. He gave Sakon a nod who pointed ahead of them towards an enormous door with a skull carved onto the surface.

"Think we found the boss?" Sakon asked him with a grin.

"The door's locked." The Postman pointed out.

Sakon squinted at the door and sure enough there was an enormous lock in the centre of the door. "Big locks are easy." he assured him. "I can walk you through it no problem."

"And how am I supposed to pick the lock when there are Blade-traps there?"

Sakon stared at the two Blade-traps waiting for them to approach and hesitated. "Well, if it was me, I could pick the lock fast enough but I really don't think you'll be able to do it..."

Sakon paused as he thought about it. "I'm going to move the Blade-traps."

"How are you going to do that?" The Postman asked. "You can't touch them."

"Yeah, but my sword can!" Sakon answered, approaching the Blade-traps.

The Blade-traps immediately shot towards him and Sakon waited for the right moment then stabbed the sword underneath one of the traps. Jerking up his arm hard, he managed to derail it and it shot across the room out of control. The Postman jumped over it as it shot towards him and he gave Sakon an unimpressed look.

"That did not improve things, Sakon!"

"It'll slow down now that it doesn't have a rail." Sakon told him. "You may want to climb up on one of those stone slabs before I derail the second one."

The Postman jumped over the trap again as it careened towards him then quickly climbed onto one of the stone blocks in the centre of the room. Sakon derailed the second one just as he did the first and now both traps were out of control as they bounced from wall to wall to wall. The Postman was very glad he was off the floor as the Blade-traps wildly spun around and around the room and watched as they began gradually slowing down.

Sakon was laughing at the distraught Blade-traps and The Postman couldn't help but feel a little sorry for them. They depended on their rails to move and now they'd be helpless off of them. When the traps finally stilled, The Postman slid down off the slab and approached the door as Sakon gave a Blade-trap a poke with his sword.

"Sakon the mighty has defeated the evil monsters! No one can best his might and strength!" he announced proudly. "They won't be bothering anyone else!"

"Let's just get this dungeon over with." The Postman responded, pulling out the lock-picks from the backpack.

Sakon laughed at the sight of the lock-picks. "Darling, look at the size of that keyhole. You can stick your entire arm inside it; lock-picks won't do you much good."

The Postman hesitated. "Then what do I do?" he asked.

"Use your hands." Sakon responded. "I'll show you what to do."

Sakon studied the inside of the lock a moment then pointed to a specific part of the mechanism. "Press down right there and hold it in."

The Postman did as he was told, the metal feeling sharp against his fingers.

"Okay, now with your pinkie finger, feel up about an inch and you'll feel a notch."

The Postman found the notch and pressed down on it.

"Now with your index finger, feel back a little bit and you'll find the other notch."

When The Postman pressed down on it, he felt the lock give and with great difficulty, he turned his hand, acting as the key. The locked popped open and Sakon gave him a proud grin.

"You did better this time!" he exclaimed. "Maybe there's hope for you yet!"

"I'm not becoming a criminal." The Postman replied, pushing open the door.

"I'll wear you down eventually." Sakon said confidently.

The Postman didn't answer him and once they stepped through the doorway, the door slammed closed behind them and locked.

"How do monsters do that?" Sakon wondered out loud. "I wish I could lock and unlock doors at will..."

"BZZZZZ BZZZZZ" said an impatient voice from in front of them. "Outzzziderzz!"

Both looked up to see a full-grown Moldorm laying curled up in front of them, it's sharp pincers snapping angrily.

"You killed my young onezzz!" it hissed. "You will not win againzzt me!"

The Postman instantly threw up his shield as the Moldorm rammed itself against him, and he was knocked off of his feet from the force. Sakon leaped at the Moldorm and sliced at its tail, knowing that to be the weak spot of most Moldorms. The Moldorm had been about to bite The Postman but at the excruciating pain in its tail, it turned and lashed out at Sakon. Fangs sunk painfully into the thief's leg and Sakon let out a yell of surprise, not expecting the monster to be able to touch him.

He jumped into the air out of reach, now a little bit frightened and looked down at his bleeding leg.

"It can touch me!" he cried in dismay. "How can I fight it if it can kill me?!"

The Moldorm was back snapping at The Postman who was holding it off with the shield and he glanced up at Sakon.

"Kaepora Gaebora told you there are creatures who can harm you! Don't be reckless and use the sword!"

Sakon bit his lip, this not being what he wanted and hesitated. He liked being invincible and the thought of getting into an actual dangerous battle didn't really appeal to him. The Moldorm knocked The Postman to the floor a second time and its fangs just missed his neck by mere inches.

"SAKON!" The Postman yelled. "What are you doing?!"

As a thief, Sakon's self-preservation was pretty much the first thing on his mind and it went against everything in his instincts to throw himself headlong into danger. He wasn't a hero and liked very much being a villain but The Postman was his friend and also the only way he'd return to his normal self.

Taking a deep breath, Sakon threw himself at the Moldorm just as it pinned The Postman to the floor. He slashed at its tail and the Moldorm let out a bellow of fury and turned on him. Expecting it this time, Sakon managed to dodge and slashed at its tail once more. The Moldorm went wild with fury and began lashing out and throwing itself at Sakon blindly and the thief barely managed to avoid its attacks. Seeing his opportunity to strike, Sakon once more slashed at the tail and this time, the Moldorm froze as Sakon's sword managed to cut right through it then it fell dead to the floor a moment later.

Sakon let out a deep breath of relief as the door clicked unlocked and approached The Postman to make sure he was alright. The Postman slowly rolled to his feet and looked like he was about to berate Sakon but his eyes fell on Sakon's damaged leg. The leg was badly hurt and if Sakon wasn't floating, The Postman doubted he'd even be able to support his weight on it.

"Sakon...your leg!"

Sakon glanced down then let out a curse, not realizing the damage was quite that bad. "I need a healing item." he stated with a frown. "We don't have any..."

The Postman's eyes fell on the dead Moldorm. "Use the Moldorm's heart." he told him.

Sakon's nose crinkled at the suggestion, knowing heroes did that sort of thing all the time. "Eating a monster heart doesn't really appeal to me..."

"You're going to bleed to death." The Postman pointed out. "One who eats the heart of their enemy, gains their strength and power."

"How do you know this? You didn't even know what a mini-boss was but you know about the consumption of hearts? What the hell do you read in that newspaper of yours?!"

The Postman gave a shrug, not telling him that he actually knew about it from Ganondorf. Ganondorf had told him about all sorts of things villains and heroes did that he didn't really want to know but had listened anyway out of politeness.

Sakon frowned down at the bright red heart laying on the floor, then slowly reached down and plucked it away from the monster's body. The Postman averted his gaze at that point and he heard Sakon gag but refused to look.

"Ew." Sakon complained a moment later. "Why do people do that?! It's disgusting!"

The Postman glanced back at him and saw Sakon was completely healed, including the scratches and bites from the raccoon attack. Sakon gave one last shudder then turned to the open doorway.

"Come on." he said. "Let's get this over with."

The Postman followed him through the door and they were met with the sight of an enormous, intricate chest. The Postman approached and carefully opened it, wondering what was hidden inside. The moment he opened the chest, there was a blinding flash of light and The Postman once again heard that strange song from before. This time the song was played on a cello and the entire room seemed to fade into pure white as the music swelled. The Postman blinked and when he opened his eyes, he and Sakon were back in the small village, the sunlight almost blinding. The Postman looked down and saw in his hands he held a large cello, a carving of a flying whale on its back.

Sakon gave him a grin. "One dungeon down, 5 or 6 or 8 more to go! That dungeon was pathetically easy! What were the gods thinking, creating something as stupid as that? Where's the REAL challenge? They really suck at creating dungeons."

As soon as the words left Sakon's mouth, the entire island began to rumble and Sakon gave a startled glance all around. When the shaking had stopped, the very air seemed to have altered dramatically and felt much colder than before. The Postman and Sakon exchanged a look, getting the feeling that everything had just been changed. The Postman gave Sakon an unimpressed look, knowing things were likely going to be much more difficult from now on..

"Way to go." The Postman snapped.

Sakon gave him a sheepish look. "Oops."

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**Reviews Make the Author Happy!**


	14. Second Son

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**Hey guys, here's chapter 14. Wow, i'm almost up to 100 reviews already and i'm only part way through this story! You guys are so awesome! :D This chapter is a bit shorter than the last just because it's just a scene inbetween dungeons. Next will be longer i promise!  
**

**********A huge thank you to my reviewers who always have such nice things to say:  
**

**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Toolazytologin  
**

**ChocolateMilkLOL  
**

**Mikaufan101**

**Hollow Shade**

**Light-Sakura**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll hopefully have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

Second Son

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Sakon looked one way then the other but the village looked exactly the same, no noticeable changes that he could see. The air did seem a bit colder so he still felt a bit uncertain, wondering if he really did cause the gods to make changes.

"It's probably fine..." he said uncertainly.

The Postman also glanced around with a frown. "Please don't provoke the gods, Sakon." he requested. "We don't need this to get any harder."

Sakon glanced up towards the sky as there was a loud rumble of thunder and quickly gave a nod. "Um, yeah, okay."

The air almost felt cold enough to snow and Sakon gave a shiver, never being one for cold climates. As they crossed the village, the grass crunched beneath The Postman's feet, the ground frozen and hard. Sakon watched a moment, fascinated then asked.

"So, what do we do now?"

"I want to go to the South shop." The Postman responded.

Sakon furrowed his brow, shopping not really being on his list of priorities. "Why?"

"I want to get the doll my parents couldn't afford. They helped me even though I was a stranger to them and I want to return the favour."

"You realize they're not your real parents, right?"

The Postman glanced towards his parents cottage and gave a nod. "I know."

"It's a waste of money." Sakon complained. "They never even asked you to get it! We need all the rupees we can get right now!"

"Why?"

"We don't have that much to spare and we need them!"

The Postman gave him a suspicious glance. "Why?" he repeated. "What do we need rupees for so badly?"

Sakon hesitated as he quickly tried to think up an excuse. "Um...well, what if one of us gets hurt? We might need to buy a healing item!"

"A doll isn't going to cost much." The Postman pointed out.

Sakon didn't want to tell him that he owed The Happy Mask Salesman a LOT of money at the moment so he fell silent, simply letting out a sigh.

"Fine, but don't complain to me if you get your arms bitten off by a monster and you don't have a healing item!"

The Postman said nothing so Sakon followed after him towards the South shop, hoping the doll wouldn't cost that much. They saw a small child playing with a dog who looked exactly like Mido and they passed him without a word, approaching the shop.

As they entered, the bell above the door dinged, announcing their arrival, and Sakon immediately frowned when he saw who was running the shop. The Curiosity Shop Owner was laying sprawled on top of the counter, one leg dangling off the side, looking incredibly bored. He was wearing tacky checkered pants and a blue shirt, his vest unbuttoned for comfort. Despite being indoors, he wore his usual pair of dark sunglasses and stared up at the ceiling, not yet acknowledging them. With an exaggerated sigh, he glanced over at them from over the tops of his glasses. They obviously weren't who he was expecting to see and he hurriedly sat up.

"Oh" he exclaimed in surprise. "Customers!"

Sakon gave him a dirty look and said nothing..

"Can I help you?" The Curiosity Shop Owner asked, scratching at his side with a yawn.

The shop wasn't what The Postman was expecting and he stared at the strange metal contraption behind the counter. There was a conveyer belt of some kind lined with different items which went around and around beneath a large metal claw. He stared a long moment, never seeing anything quite like it.

"What is that?" The Postman asked. "Is this a game?"

The Curiosity Shop Owner gave a nod. "It's a trendy game; the only of its kind."

The Postman's gaze fell on a green dragon-like doll on the conveyer belt and he pointed to it.

"How much is the doll?"

The Curiosity Shop Owner gave his back a scratch. "It's not for sale, you have to win it. That's how the game works."

The Postman stared again at the strange looking machine. "How do you play?"

Sakon quickly interrupted. "No! Don't play it; it's obviously rigged! Just look at the sleaze running it!"

The Curiosity Shop Owner crossed his arms. "I resent that."

Sakon gave him a glare. "Yeah, I bet you do, you cheap jerk."

The Postman knew that Sakon frequently worked with The Curiosity Shop Owner and that he was often ripped off in his cut of the profits. Sakon had complained about it to him a few times but The Postman had simply informed him he didn't care about his illegal activities.

"How do you play?" The Postman repeated.

The Curiosity Shop Owner instantly went into sales mode and threw out a hand dramatically towards the large claw-like contraption. "This here, sir, is the only trendy game in existence and creatures come from all over the world just to get a glimpse of it! I've received hundreds of offers to sell it to great, powerful men but I've declined as a simple courtesy to my customers. Everyone who plays, instantly gets addicted!"

"I'm so sure." Sakon commented.

Ignoring him, The Curiosity Shop Owner continued. "You control that magnificent claw by using the controls to your left. The object of the game is to grab the prize you want with the claw. It takes perfect timing and precision! Only a true genius can master this game and get the prize they want! I kid you not!"

Sakon let out a snort. "He's not going to fall for that crap, you con artist. Just tell us how much."

The Curiosity Shop Owner frowned at Sakon, unused to having his sales pitch being interrupted. "Ten rupees a try."

The Postman stared at the game, considering it as he'd never been very talented at these type of things then gave a nod. "I'd like to give it a try."

The Curiosity Shop Owner clapped his hands together eagerly. "Very good, an excellent decision! That'll be 10 rupees, if you please!"

The Postman set down the cello and dug inside Sakon's backpack, pulling out some rupees. He handed the red one over and The Curiosity Shop Owner placed it on the counter, flipping a switch as he did so. There was a loud sound as the game started up and The Curiosity Shop Owner gestured towards the controls.

"Read the directions over the controls before trying." he suggested.

The Postman approached the controls just to his left and quickly read over the directions it gave. Sakon stood near his side, staring at everything suspiciously, certain there had to be a trick somewhere. There were two controls in front of him; one for making the claw move the direction he wanted and the other for making it drop and grab. The Postman saw the game itself was simple enough and the trick was all in the timing. Taking hold of the controls, he began moving the claw towards the conveyer belt and positioned it where he wanted. Then watching the speed of the items for a moment, he gave a jerk to the second control, dropping the claw.

Both The Postman and Sakon were watching the claw and they didn't see The Curiosity Shop Owner slip a hand beneath the counter and press a button. The speed of the conveyer belt changed just a tiny fraction but it was enough to cause the claw to miss its target. The Postman was very good at timing things so he frowned at the game as Sakon let out a sigh of frustration.

"You missed!" he accused.

The Postman kept his eyes on the conveyer belt. "It sped up for exactly 3 seconds." he stated uncertainly.

Sakon knew The Postman wouldn't lie so he instantly gave The Curiosity Shop Owner a suspicious look who simply leaned against the counter, his face the picture of innocence. Sakon had seen that look many times when The Curiosity Shop Owner was dealing with the law or with heroes so he narrowed his eyes.

"Aww, bad luck, sir!" The Curiosity Shop Owner said sympathetically. "You still have enough for another try if you like."

"I'll try again." The Postman said, taking a hold of the controls.

Sakon turned to face the game once more but this time watched The Curiosity Shop Owner out of the corner of his eye. Sure enough once The Postman began lowering the claw, The Curiosity Shop Owner reached a hand beneath the counter, pressing a button causing it to speed up. Sakon instantly spun to face him.

"AHA!" he cried out triumphantly. "I saw you cheat, you slimy weasel! You pressed a button and made it speed up!"

The Curiosity Shop Owner looked a bit startled, not expecting to be caught then quickly gave Sakon a smooth smile. "Cheat, sir? Preposterous! No need to blame me for your friends inability to play a simple game!"

Sakon drew his sword and approached The Curiosity Shop Owner, scowl in place. "Don't even try to lie about it, you sleaze! I saw you!"

The Curiosity Shop Owner let out a gasp as the sword was pointed at his throat and he stared at Sakon in shock, pinned against the counter unable to get away. "I didn't!" he insisted.

Sakon reached underneath the counter and pressed the button and held it down, the conveyer belt quite obviously speeding up.

The Curiosity Shop Owner gave him a crooked smile, knowing he was caught. "Oh. Well, maybe it's a possibility I accidentally leaned against the button..."

Sakon pressed the sword even closer to The Curiosity Shop Owner's throat whose smile immediately disappeared.

"Geez, it's only a game!" he complained. "You're taking this way too seriously!"

The Postman approached and gave Sakon a frown. "Sakon, let him up."

Sakon didn't move, remembering all the times The Curiosity Shop Owner had taken advantage of him during their business deals. "I want to stab him." he informed The Postman. "Let me stab him."

The Curiosity Shop Owner let out a horrified gasp, his sunglasses slipping down to reveal wide, terrified blue eyes. Sakon smirked at his fear while The Postman gave his head a shake.

"This isn't The Curiosity Shop Owner, Sakon, now let him up. You promised you wouldn't kill any villagers."

"I didn't promise." Sakon pointed out. "I said I wouldn't kill anyone but it wasn't a promise."

"The doll's yours!" The Curiosity Shop Owner cried out. "Since there was a malfunction in the game, I declare you the winners!"

Sakon hesitated, thinking about it.

The Postman crossed his arms. "Sakon."

Sakon let out a sigh and sheathed his sword. "Oh, alright." he grumbled, giving The Curiosity Shop Owner a glare. "You're lucky this time."

The Curiosity Shop Owner let out a breath of relief and immediately raised a hand to his neck where the sword had been.

Sakon scowled at him and began tapping a foot. "I'm waiting." he snapped. "The doll, now."

The Curiosity Shop Owner paused for all of a moment then hopped over the counter, heading towards the conveyer belt. He knew a doll for his life was a very good trade indeed and grabbed the dragon-like doll as it passed by him. Eyeing Sakon warily, he approached them and held out the doll.

The Postman took the doll with a frown, not sure if this counted as robbing him or not. The Curiosity Shop Owner scratched at his stomach, still looking nervous and then said.

"Sorry guys, since the game is malfunctioning, I'm closing up shop for the day. You can try your luck again another day..."

Sakon gave him one more dirty look but felt very satisfied with himself. He wished he could do that with the real The Curiosity Shop Owner, but he doubted that would end well. The Curiosity Shop Owner in the real world had so many dangerous items in his shop that Sakon would likely receive a face full of dark magic if he tried anything.

The Postman looked down at the doll in his hands then motioned for Sakon to follow him. "Come on, Sakon, just leave him alone."

Sakon turned away and followed after The Postman out of the shop, giving The Curiosity Shop Owner a very rude gesture as he did so. Once they were outside, Sakon grinned brightly, that being something he had wanted to do for a very long time.

"So, we going to visit Ma and Pa now?" he asked.

The Postman gave a nod. "How are we going to discover where the second dungeon is?"

Sakon gave a shrug. "It's a quest so there will be some sort of clue or sign. We can count on it."

The Postman was silent a moment as they walked then he said. "Sakon, can I ask you something?"

"Depends what it is." Sakon responded easily.

"Why does The Curiosity Shop Owner always scratch so much? Does he have a skin condition?"

Sakon let out a giggle, obviously remembering something then answered. "No, about twelve years ago he got himself cursed by my uncle. We were having a fight and he hit me just as my uncle came around the corner. The Happy Mask Salesman may be creepy but for some reason he was livid about the whole thing. He cursed him and said the only way to break the curse was for him to apologize to me. The Curiosity Shop Owner said my uncle was being ridiculous since I'd hit him first and stubbornly refused."

Sakon paused to let out a laugh. "I'm still waiting for that apology."

The Postman couldn't imagine remaining cursed when a simple apology would cure it and he then asked another question on his mind.

"Why do you refer to your uncle as The Happy Mask Salesman? Don't you know his name?"

Sakon let out a snort. "Course I do. He once told me names hold a lot of power and one should keep their name hidden away safely. It's a total load of crap but if he doesn't want people to know who he is, I'm not going to be the one to tell them. I don't need him to be angry at me."

"What's The Curiosity Shop Owner's name?" The Postman asked.

Sakon gave a shrug. "I honestly have no idea. I asked him that once and he threw a book at me and told me it was none of my business. It seemed to be a sore subject for him. I don't really care though, it's not like we're friends or anything."

They reached the cottage and The Postman knocked loudly on the door as Sakon gave another giggle, obviously still thinking about The Curiosity Shop Owner's curse.

"Come in, the door's unlocked!" a voice yelled from inside.

The moment The Postman entered the cottage he immediately knew there was something very different from last time. His mother was standing at the sink washing dishes and he simply stared at her in surprise. She was very, very pregnant and she hadn't been the last time he'd seen her. There was no baby in sight but an energetic two year old was running around the house, laughing and wielding a piece of chalk like a sword. He saw the child mark on a few things as he ran around but his mother didn't seem to notice.

Sakon raised an eyebrow. "Wow, I think we were gone for a while..."

The Postman's mother turned, wiping her hands on a dishcloth and gave them both a smile when she saw who it was. "Oh, hello again! You ran out of here so fast this morning I thought maybe we'd offended you somehow!"

"This morning?" The Postman asked skeptically, looking down at the toddler.

"That kid ages fast." Sakon commented with a grin. "I could have sworn he was smaller this morning."

The Postman's mother gave the toddler a fond look. "Oh, don't I know it! He's shooting up like a weed! I think he's going to be tall like his daddy!"

Sakon glanced at The Postman who was barely five and half feet tall and smirked. "I wouldn't count on that."

Both Sakon and The Postman knew this was probably one of the changes the gods had made so they didn't question it all that much.

"Man, you're huge." Sakon commented. "When are you due?"

The Postman's mother placed a hand on her stomach as she answered. "Not for another 5 months. I'm already much bigger than I was with my last pregnancy so I think it must be twins. I hope one of them is a girl, it would be nice to have a daughter."

"Don't hold your breath on that one either." Sakon said, remembering the next ones born were The Postman's brothers Haru and Jaru.

The Postman held out the doll, not really wanting to stay for very long. "I got you the doll your son wanted since you were so kind to me earlier."

His mother looked incredibly surprised. "You didn't have to do that!" she exclaimed. "This is too much!'

The Postman pressed the doll into her hands. "It's not."

The Postman's mother frowned then reached into her pocket and pulled out a pretty silk ribbon. "I know it's not much, but please take this in exchange!"

The Postman knew his parents had always been incredibly proud people and wouldn't accept charity so he reached out and took the ribbon, accepting the trade.

"Aww!" Sakon commented with a cheeky grin. "Now you can wear a pretty ribbon in your hair!"

The Postman gave his mother a polite nod, ignoring Sakon then turned away.

"We have to get going again. I hope your son likes the doll and doesn't give you too much trouble."

As they headed towards the door, he saw his mother kneel next to the toddler and hold out the doll. "Look Ichiro! Look at what the nice man gave you!"

The Postman froze, his hand on the doorknob and slowly turned back around. "What did you call him?" he asked.

"Ichiro." she responded, giving the toddler's hair a ruffle. "Meaning first born son."

The Postman knew very well what the name Ichiro meant and he didn't have any brothers named Ichiro. Based on his mother's age, he knew she was in fact pregnant for his twin brothers and the toddler was the same age as he should have been but something felt very, very wrong.

"Where's your son Jihiro?" he asked.

She gave him a look of confusion. "I don't have a son named Jihiro. It's just Ichiro, my husband and I. Ichiro is our first child."

"That's impossible!" The Postman insisted. "You have a son named Jihiro! He was your first born child!"

His mother gave a slow shake of her head, still looking completely baffled. "No, I'm sorry, you must have us confused for someone else."

Sakon looked between The Postman and the toddler with a frown and wasn't sure what to say. The Postman stared at his mother another long moment then turned and left the cottage without another word. Sakon quickly followed after him.

As they crossed the village, The Postman glanced over at his shoulder at Sakon. "It's not real. It's only a dream made up by the Windfish, he's only trying to confuse me."

Sakon hesitated, not sure he wanted to say this but continued all the same. "Um, darling, Jihiro means 'second son'. Haven't you ever wondered why your parents would name their first born, second son?"

"They liked the name." The Postman responded easily.

"But that's stupid and no one does that, especially in Termina."

The Postman stopped walking and levelled Sakon with a look. "Exactly what are you trying to say?" he demanded.

"Out of all the names they could have chosen, why would they choose a name that specifically means second son? You know the tradition in Termina when it comes to names like that. It's almost as if they were..."

"Replacing a child lost to them." The Postman finished for him.

Sakon gave a nod, noticing how his friends eyes were beginning to look a bit troubled. "Haven't you ever wondered about this before?" Sakon questioned. "Why you were named second son?"

The Postman shook his head. "No." he answered honestly. "I've never put too much thought into the names my parents chose."

Sakon glanced back towards the cottage. "Well, I'd start thinking about it if I were you because if that baby is named Ichiro and he was the first born and your mother is pregnant with your brothers, then where did you come from and what happened to Ichiro?"

The Postman paused a really long moment but had no answer for this. "I don't know..."

What Sakon said made sense and The Postman looked like he was about to say something more but he was interrupted by a voice calling down from above.

"Hoot! Ho there, brave heroes!"

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**Reviews Make The Author Happy!**


	15. The Missing Beast

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**Hey guys, here's chapter 15. I'm now over 100 reviews and this story is now the longest of the series! You guys are so awesome always so supportive! :D This chapter was originally going to be much longer but it was waaaay too long so i broke it up into two parts. Sorry in advance if nothing really seems to happen in this chapter because all the action was in the other part! The next chapter will be more action oriented, I promise. Since the next chapter is already half-written, it should be up in the next couple days. **

******Mikaufan101** was the 100th reviewer and I decided since I'm so excited about reaching 100 reviews I'm offering a short one-shot as prize! If you don't want anything written, just let me know and reviewer 101 will get it! Looking forward to seeing what you decide! :)  


**********A huge thank you to my reviewers who always have such nice things to say:  
**

**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Toolazytologin  
**

**ChocolateMilkLOL  
**

**Mikaufan101**

**Phoenix Skyborne**

**Light-Sakura**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll hopefully have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

The Missing Beast

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Kaepora Gaebora stared down at them from the roof of Marin's cottage. His golden eyes studied them thoughtfully for a moment then he flew down and landed in front of them in a flurry of feathers.

"Your quest goes well thus far." he told them. "Be wary of the dungeons ahead because they have been changed and even I don't know what you'll face within them."

The Postman shot Sakon an accusing look who gave a wince knowing it was entirely his fault. He had the decency to look sheepish but he didn't say a word as the owl continued.

"The cello you hold, postman, is an instrument of the sirens. I must admit at first I did not truly believe you would succeed. I see now that the goddesses were not mistaken about you."

Sakon crossed his arms with a scowl. "What about me? I did all the real work! All he did was open a couple doors!"

Kaepora Gaebora blinked at him then continued speaking to The Postman. "That instrument, along with several others, holds the power to awaken the Windfish. You must make sure to collect them all."

The Postman glanced down at the cello in his hand, wondering how something so simple could awaken a god.

"Hoo hoot. I was instructed by the goddesses to give you directions to the next dungeon. The dungeon lies to the North of the island in Goponga Swamp. Make haste and be careful as I cannot give you advice as to what you'll find there."

"Wait a sec." Sakon interrupted. "There's a bunch of instruments we have to find? How are we supposed to play these instruments all at once? Someone clearly didn't think this through very well."

"All will be made clear as your journey continues." Kaepora Gaebora stated.

The Postman stepped forward. "Um, sir?" he said hesitantly.

The owl turned its gaze to him.

"My parents, everything I saw...are these events from the past? Is it real?"

Kaepora Gaebora stared at him a long moment, then spread his wings and flew off without another word. The Postman stared after him as Sakon became indignant on his behalf.

"Now that's just rude!" the thief exclaimed. "Stupid pigeon!"

The Postman continued staring long after Kaepora Gaebora had disappeared from sight feeling troubled. Why wouldn't the owl answer him when he asked of his past? Did he know something he didn't? Sakon waved a hand in front of his face and The Postman glanced over at the thief.

"Come on, forget the stupid bird." Sakon told him. "Let's stash that cello somewhere and get going."

The Postman gave a distracted nod, giving one more look towards the sky before following after Sakon.

"Your girlfriend will probably look after it for us." Sakon said, heading towards Marin's cottage.

The Postman cringed and noticeably slowed down, not wanting to speak with his alleged love interest again. Sakon gave him a smirk, knowing exactly what his hesitation was about.

"Come on, you're going to have to face her sometime."

"Why?" The Postman demanded, reaching out to knock on the door.

"With all the work the gods put into this, I highly doubt they'll let you avoid her indefinitely."

The Postman was about to respond but the was door opened by Marin and she let out a happy gasp at the sight of The Postman. "You're alright!" she exclaimed, ignoring Sakon completely. "When I heard that you had faced a dungeon, I was so worried!"

"I faced it too!" Sakon protested. "How come no one acknowledges my heroism?"

Marin flashed him a scathing look then gave The Postman another smile. "Come in, we're just about to have supper! Let me give you a heroes welcome!"

"Er, no thank you, miss." The Postman said, backing a step away. "I was just wondering if I could leave this at your house for a while?"

He held up the cello and Marin reached out and took it in curiosity. "How pretty." she commented. "Of course I'll keep it safe for you."

The Postman turned to leave. "Thank you, miss, it's very appreciated."

"Wait!" Marin called, catching him by the shoulder. "It's going to get dark soon! You should stay for supper and spend the night."

Sakon waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Can I spend the night with you too?"

Marin gave him a look of pure disgust. "No. You can sleep outside."

Sakon gave her a mischievous grin. "Well, I wasn't planning on sleeping, if you know what I mean..."

Marin lashed out at him in an attempt to slap him across the face but her hand went right through him and hit The Postman instead. Sakon gave a laugh as The Postman rubbed at his cheek and Marin was completely horrifed at what she'd done.

"I'm so sorry!" she cried. "I didn't mean to!"

Sakon gave her a cocky grin. "So, you're a man-beater, are you? I don't think you're his type, he's not very good with pain."

"Sakon, leave her alone." The Postman scolded, turning his gaze back to Marin. "It's fine, miss, but we should get going."

"Wait, you can't go!" Marin protested. "You can't travel at night, it's much too dangerous! A lot of horrible things come out at nighttime!"

"We'll be fine." The Postman assured her, carefully pulling his arm away. "It's urgent that we get going."

Marin gave him a frown but nodded, knowing a heroes life was anything but safe. "Be careful." she warned.

"We will, miss." The Postman assured her.

"I wasn't referring to him." Marin snapped, pointing at Sakon. "You can throw him down a pit for all I care."

Sakon outright laughed. "Aw, you know you love me!"

Marin's response to that was to slam the door in his face. Sakon laughed again and The Postman gave him a look of disapproval but he didn't comment on it. Instead he turned and began walking away from the cottage, wanting to put as much distance between himself and Marin as he could.

They'd only walked a few feet before the two children from the schoolhouse ran up to them at full speed, their eyes wide with fear and excitement.

"Hey!" one cried out to get their attention. "You have to help!"

The other boy nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it's serious! Really serious!"

The Postman and Sakon exchanged a look, knowing this couldn't lead to anything good.

"What happened?" The Postman questioned.

Both boys looked all around as if scared something was going to jump out at them. "Moblins came and attacked the village while you were away! There was a whole gang of them! They stole everything we had and then kidnapped Bow-Wow!"

The Postman furrowed his brow. "Who's Bow-Wow?"

The children both stared at him as if he were a moron. "Bow-Wow! Madame MeowMeow's dog! The big black one!"

Sakon snickered. "Her name is Madame Meowmeow? This oughta be good."

"Why would moblins steal a dog?" The Postman questioned.

"Probably for ransom." Sakon replied. "Pet people are crazy."

"You need to help her!" one of the boys insisted.

"Yeah, you should go talk to her!"

The Postman looked over at Sakon. "Do you think I'm supposed to rescue the dog?"

Sakon gave a shrug. "Probably. It seems awfully convenient that it was kidnapped just before we returned to town. I'm assuming there's some purpose behind rescuing it..."

"Ok, fine." The Postman responded, turning his gaze to the cottage just ahead. "But I've never been very good with animals..."

"What are you talking about?" Sakon demanded. "You have a dog, this one can't be that different."

"My parents have a dog." The Postman corrected, starting towards the cottage. "Having pets has never worked out for me..."

"Why?" Sakon questioned, floating after him.

"I tend to forget about them when I leave for an urgent out-of-town delivery...when I get back it's not always pretty."

Sakon liked animals so he gave The Postman a frown, not approving at all. "I agree. You should not have pets. It's probably a good thing you don't have children either."

The Postman stared at the cottage and saw that the strange black beast was indeed gone, its chain snapped neatly in half. He could hear a high-pitched yapping coming from the enormous doghouse and wondered if the dog had simply gone in there after the Moblins came. Cautiously approaching the doghouse, The Postman peered inside, hoping the dog wouldn't jump out at him. Inside was a very small black beast which looked very similar to the other one. The 'dog' stared at him a moment then to his surprise let out a sigh.

"Makeup, dresses, jewellery...I want it all!"

The Postman wasn't sure he'd heard correctly and simply stared as the 'dog' let out another sigh.

"...and some new accessories would be nice too." it commented. "Something to make me look pretty!"

The Postman hesitated then reached into his pocket and pulled out the ribbon his mother had given him. The 'dog's' eyes immediately fell on it and she let out a delighted gasp.

"Oh! That ribbon! I need it! Will you trade it for a can of my dog food?"

The Postman reached out and neatly tied the bow around the 'dog's' collar and she grinned at him, her mouth filled with ragged, pointy teeth.

"I'm so lucky! Thanks! Here's your dog food! Take good care of it!"

She moved from where she'd been sitting to reveal a bent and chewed up can of dog food. She'd obviously been trying to get into it but without hands she'd been unable to. The Postman stared at the can a moment then said.

"You can consider the ribbon a gift." he stated. "Did you want me to open that can for you?"

The 'dog' shook its head. "A deal is a deal and you must take it now. It would be an insult for me to expect charity."

The Postman took the can of dog food, unsure of what he was supposed to do with it.

"Goodbye now." the 'dog' said to him rudely. "I need to get my beauty sleep."

When The Postman stood back up and turned to Sakon holding the can of dog food, the thief gave him an odd look.

"Darling, if you're hungry, you don't have to resort to dog food, you know..."

"If we have to find the big one, I can offer it some dog food so it hopefully doesn't eat me." The Postman responded, shoving the can into the backpack.

Sakon gave a shrug, having his doubts about the big 'dog' being able to be won over with a little food. The Postman approached the cottage door and gave a sharp knock, surprised when it opened almost immediately. The large, overweight middle-aged woman inside the cottage let out a loud sniff, obviously disappointed and wiped at the tears in her eyes.

"It's terrible!" the woman told him sadly. "My precious Bow-Wow has been dog-napped by Moblins! Please, please will you help my poor Bow-Wow? Everyone keeps saying you're a brave hero so will you please help him?"

"Why does no one think I'm a hero?" Sakon demanded petulantly. "I've done a lot more than you have! And I'm the one with the sword!"

Ignoring him, Madame MeowMeow grabbed The Postman's arm imploringly, tears streaming down her face. "Please help him!"

The Postman was terrible around people who were crying and never quite knew what to do. Shifting a bit uncomfortably, he gave an awkward nod.

"...I'll see if I can find him, ma'am."

Madame MeowMeow instantly let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you! It's really kind of you to help my poor Bow-Wow. They took him into the Mysterious Woods, so please hurry to find him before it's too late!"

The Postman gave her his best postal salute then turned and headed down the path with Sakon following closely behind. They walked in silence for a few minutes and as they approached the Mysterious Woods, Sakon drew his sword and The Postman readied his shield.

"Where should we go?" Sakon wondered. "Can't you use that freaky power of yours to find him?"

The Postman shook his head. "Nobody here is real so I can't sense them."

Sakon glanced up at the sky which was nearing sunset. "We won't be able to find him tonight, it's almost dark. Are you sure you don't want to stay at Marin's house? Sleeping in the woods won't be fun..."

The Postman kept walking. "I'll take my chances."

Sakon gave a laugh. "Whatever floats your boat, darling. It makes no difference to me."

They walked for a while through the woods and saw no sign of the Moblins. It was getting darker and darker so after a time, they were forced to stop and make camp. They were in a good area beside a stream, the trees above shielding them from the worst of the wind. The Postman made a fire-pit and lit a blazing fire, the heat feeling good against the sharp cold of the coming night. He unrolled the bedroll attached to the backpack and spread it out beside the fire, the fabric still damp from the ocean.

"I have some teabags buried in the front pocket of my backpack somewhere." Sakon informed him. "Unless you want to freeze to death, you should probably drink something hot."

Normally, The Postman would refuse anything Sakon offered based on principle alone, but he was rather cold and hungry so he dug inside the backpack until he found a tin of tea and a pan for boiling water. As he waited for the water to heat, Sakon settled himself down next to him.

"The salt water shouldn't have gotten inside the tin so the tea should be fine." he told him. "There's also some dried fruit and nuts in another tin."

"Do you want any?" The Postman asked him, fishing out the second tin.

Sakon shook his head. "I'm not hungry. I don't think I can get hungry."

The Postman opened the tin and everything inside was dry as he'd hoped. He took a handful of the fruit and nuts then closed the tin again, unsure of how long he'd have to make it last. As he munched on a walnut, Sakon began humming to himself, stretching out comfortably and stared up at the black sky.

"It looks like it's going to snow." he observed after a time. "You sure you want to sleep outside?"

"I'll be fine." The Postman answered, taking the boiling water off the fire as Sakon resumed his humming.

He poured the water into a mug he'd also found inside the backpack and dropped a teabag into it. As he waited for it to steep, he munched on a few more nuts and pieces of fruit. Sakon's humming turned into singing and the thief sang a little tune about an assassin and a king. The assassin ended up becoming king in the end and winning the girl and The Postman suspected Sakon had changed the lyrics.

The Postman stared into the fire quietly and sipped the hot tea, his mind obviously far away. Sakon was floating above the fire contentedly and after a time, Sakon noticed the troubled look in his friends eyes. He frowned at The Postman, knowing exactly what he was thinking about.

"The whole thing with your parents..." he began. "Do you think you're adopted?"

The Postman looked up at him and frowned. "I don't think so…wouldn't my parents have told me if I was adopted?"

Sakon considered that then gave a shrug. "Maybe they didn't want you to know? How far back can you remember? Can you remember anything strange from your childhood?"

The Postman thought a moment and honestly wasn't sure. "I remember meeting you…" he stated uncertainly. "But not really anything before that..."

Sakon crossed his arms. "We were five when we met, that's hardly a baby. What about before then?"

"I don't know. That was a long time ago." The Postman responded. "How much can you remember before you were five?"

Sakon thought about it then was forced to give a shrug. "Not much I suppose. Little kids don't have the best of memories."

The Postman poked at the fire with a stick causing a shower of sparks to fly up, then asked. "You were raised by your uncles, weren't you?"

Sakon gave a nod.

The Postman wasn't sure whether it was any of his business but asked anyway. "What were your parents like? Do you remember them?"

Sakon shook his head with a defeated sigh. "No." replied. "I'm pretty sure Guru Guru raised me since I was born. I'm not sure though because sometimes I think I remember a few odd things but it could easily be my imagination."

"Who were your parents? What happened to them?"

Again Sakon shrugged. "I don't know; I can't remember them and neither of my uncles ever talked about them. I've asked a few times but they would never tell me anything. I have a feeling something bad happened to them."

"Why wouldn't they tell you? Isn't it your right to know about your parents?"

Sakon gave a shrug. "You're not the only one with family issues."

The Postman gave another poke at the fire. "I don't have issues and I don't even know if any of what we saw was real. It could still be a trick of the Windfish."

Sakon leaned back in the air with a lazy stretch. "Why would the Windfish or any god for that matter mess with you like that? They'd have to be pretty bored to enjoy toying with a postman."

"It seems to be my lot in life." The Postman responded with a sigh.

"Well, what about the whole name thing? The Windfish didn't make that up! Either your parents are just weird or they're hiding something."

The Postman really didn't like this train of thought and set down the empty mug beside him.

"I'm done talking about this." he said. "The only way I'll know for sure is to ask my parents and with the way things are going right now, that could be a while."

"But what if you are adopted? Aren't you the least bit curious about it?"

"No."

Sakon eyed him for a moment then let out a snort. "Liar. You totally are and it's eating you up, but you just don't want to admit it."

The Postman didn't answer, studying the flames of the campfire intently. He supposed it didn't really matter if he was adopted or not but the thought of him being a replacement for an older brother made him feel a bit uneasy. What happened to Ichiro if he ever really existed? Did he die? Was he kidnaped? Where was he now? If it was real then why did his parents never mention any of this before?

Flopping down onto the now dry bedroll, The Postman stared up at the sky in silence as Sakon whistled tunelessly from the other side of the fire. The forest was blanketed in darkness, strange noises coming from within and The Postman decided he didn't care to find out what was watching them. In fact he didn't want to think anymore at all. Rolling over, he pulled the blanket over his head, intent on forgetting about his origins for a while. Sakon whistled to himself for several minutes before noticing The Postman was seemingly asleep.

"Darling?" he questioned loudly.

"What?"

Sakon grinned at the fact The Postman had responded to that. "You might want to move a bit, you're going to catch on fire if you sleep that close to the firepit. You're rather flaming as it is so we don't need to add any real fire to that."

The Postman edged a bit further away without even moving out of his cocoon. There was silence for another minute or so before Sakon floated over next to him.

"You asleep yet?"

"Yes."

Sakon smirked. "If you're asleep then how can you answer me?"

"I'm trying to sleep." The Postman amended.

"Well, that's hardly the same thing. You either are asleep or you aren't!"

"Fine, what?" The Postman demanded grouchily.

"Touchy." Sakon commented. "I was just going to let you know that I'll keep watch and wake you if anything happens."

"Okay." The Postman stated, his voice muffled from within the blanket.

There was silence for another few minutes and just as The Postman began to drift off, Sakon spoke into his ear.

"Darling?"

The Postman let out a frustrated sound. "Yes, Sakon? What do you want?"

"Nothing, I'm just bugging you."

"Don't you need to sleep?" The Postman demanded.

Sakon gave a shrug despite The Postman not even looking at him. "I haven't once gotten tired or hungry so I don't suppose so."

"Well, I do so leave me alone."

Sakon made a tsking sound in the back of his throat. "So rude when you're tired, you're like a toddler."

"Shh."

"Nope." Sakon responded with a grin. "I'm going to talk to you all night and there's nothing you can do about it."

"I can see if I can knock you out with the shield." The Postman muttered. "That's something I can do."

Sakon knew he didn't really mean it and let out a snort. "Fine, sleep away, your royal grouchiness. Don't let me stop you. I'll just sit up all night by my lonesome."

The Postman was relieved Sakon was going to leave him alone and curled up tightly beneath the blankets. The air seemed to be getting colder and colder, the wind frigid, but the fire seemed to stay the bitterness somewhat so The Postman managed to fall asleep. Sakon sat beside him, sword drawn as he stared into the darkness, certain something was watching them. Using the tip of his sword, he pushed a few more pieces of wood onto the fire, wondering whether he was even capable of freezing to death.

There were a few growls from somewhere deep in the trees and Sakon quickly turned his attention back to guarding. He watched and listened for hours, gripping the sword tightly but whatever was watching them didn't make an appearance. Although nothing bothered them throughout the night, Sakon still felt uneasy about it. Something was following them.

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**Reviews Make the Author Happy!**


	16. Rescuing BowWow

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**Hey guys, here's chapter 16. Technically this is the second half of chapter 15 so that's why it's not very long. The next chapter's going to be quite long so hopefully i'll have it up by the weekend sometime.  
**

******Mikaufan101** was the 100th reviewer and I decided since I'm so excited about reaching 100 reviews I'm offering a short one-shot as prize! If you don't want anything written, just let me know and reviewer 101 will get it! Looking forward to seeing what you decide! :)  


**********A huge thank you to my reviewers who always have such nice things to say:  
**

**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Toolazytologin  
**

**Guest**

**Light-Sakura**

******Mikaufan101**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll hopefully have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

Rescuing Bow-Wow

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It began to snow just before dawn and Sakon pushed a few more pieces of wood onto the fire with a shiver. Glancing over at The Postman who was still deeply buried in blankets, he wondered whether he should wake him. Remembering how grumpy he'd been the day before, Sakon let him sleep. He did feel a bit guilty over getting him involved in all this and was vaguely surprised The Postman would even speak to him at all. The Postman wasn't a hero, nor was he a villain used to constant danger and he had little experience where adventures were concerned. Sakon wasn't particularly fond of the fact his life depended on a civil servant but there was nothing he could do about it.

When the sun began to rise, Sakon finally approached The Postman to wake him, noting that he was almost completely covered in snow.

Kneeling down next to him, he was about to speak to him when The Postman shifted and slowly woke of his own accord. He stared at the snow in confusion for a moment before remembering where he was and sat up with a shiver. Sakon gave him an odd look then asked.

"How'd you know I was going to wake you?"

"It's five." The Postman replied, brushing the snow off of himself as if that explained everything.

Sakon rolled his eyes. "Right."

The Postman was barefoot in just his postal uniform and he wrapped the blanket around himself with another shiver. He edged a bit closer to the fire and Sakon gave a contented stretch, bored and ready to start travelling again.

The Postman wished Sakon had a change of clothes in his backpack or at least a pair of shoes, but he was forced to endure the cold.

"Where should we start looking?" Sakon asked. "Should we just keep wandering to the North?"

Unable to sense anything, The Postman gave a shrug. "I suppose..."

The Postman stepped off the bedroll into the snow and winced at the coldness. He gathered up their supplies back into the backpack then followed after Sakon as the thief floated on ahead.

The Postman quickly discovered walking through snow in bare feet was not fun at all and after a few minutes he felt like he was getting frostbite. Sakon didn't notice his discomfort and chattered to him about how heroic he was for guarding him all night. The Postman nodded along with him, not really listening and turned his gaze ahead. Everything around him was covered in a layer of ice and the snow was beginning to come down quite hard.

They still saw no sign of any Moblins and Sakon was obviously getting bored as he started slicing at random things as he floated along. After a while, Sakon let out a frustrated sigh.

"Maybe I already killed everything here." he stated with a frown. "Or maybe they're just avoiding me."

"Well, I would avoid you too." The Postman replied.

Sakon puffed out his chest heroically. "I guess my reputation has been spreading! Soon no one will dare challenge me!"

The Postman didn't answer as his gaze had fallen on an incredibly bizarre sight ahead. He could see a series of deep pits ahead and on one side of them it was snowing hard and on the other side, it was sunny and warm looking. He stared a long moment in disbelief then headed towards it, curious. Sakon followed his gaze and did a double-take at the sight of the sun.

"What in Din's name...?"

The Postman stopped just on the edge of the pit and squinted across at the other side. He could see a heart piece gleaming in the sun and he had a feeling this was the way they were supposed to go. Being careful of the ice, The Postman hopped over the pit and landed safely on the other side beside the heart. Sakon floated across after him, disconcerted when the sun hit him full force.

Staring back at the snow on the other side he wondered how that was possible. "Huh." he stated, before turning his attention to the heart piece. "Can I have this one too?"

The Postman had no interest in such things so he gave a distracted nod, staring ahead at the large swamp in front of them. Sakon took the heart piece, knowing if he managed to find only two more then his strength would increase.

"We found the swamp." The Postman informed him. "The next dungeon should be somewhere ahead."

Sakon looked up and frowned at the green swamp, wondering if The Postman would be willing to walk through it. The Postman could be a bit OCD at times so if the swamp didn't meet his satisfaction, the quest could stop right then and there.

"Do you think the dog is in there somewhere too?" The Postman asked, approaching the edge of the swamp.

"Naw, Moblins can't swim so there's no chance they'd step into a swamp." Sakon informed him. "If they're around here then they'd be on dry land."

The Postman stepped away from the edge of the swamp and instead followed along the path leading to the East. Being in the warm sun felt good and he was slowly starting to get feeling back in his hands and feet. They only had to walk a few minutes before they came to a large cave in the side of a cliff. A lit torch was at its entrance and there were many footprints leading into it. Sakon squinted at the tracks then gave a nod.

"Moblins."

The Postman stared at a strange owl statue resting against the cliff wall and approached it curiously when he saw it had something engraved on it.

"The Windfish in name only, for it is neither." he read out loud.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sakon demanded. "So the Windfish isn't a fish? Then what is it? A magic cucumber?"

The Postman thought back to the strange reoccurring dreams he'd been having but still wasn't sure what they meant. He had a feeling that the dreams were the Windfish trying to tell him something but didn't want to mention it as they were bizarre and rather unbelievable. He gave Sakon a shrug in reply.

Sakon gripped his sword tightly, and peered into the cave, able to see a single Moblin puttering about inside. "Looks like we found their hideout." he told The Postman. "Are you ready to rescue Bow-Meow or whatever his name is?"

The Postman readied his shield then gave a nod. That was all the encouragement Sakon needed and he charged into the cave, ready to kill anything in sight. The Moblin looked up at him startled, and barely managed to throw up its shield in time to block the attack. Sakon bounced back a step and grinned at the Moblin, knowing there was no way a single Moblin was a match for him.

The Moblin narrowed its eyes at him then spoke, its voice garbled and gravelly. "A suspicious looking runt." it stated, sizing Sakon up. "I'll get rid of you."

Sakon scowled at the Moblin. "Who're you calling a runt?" he demanded. "I'm completely average in height!"

The Moblin swung out its sword without another word and it passed harmlessly through the thief. The Moblin was incredibly surprised and hesitated as Sakon grinned at him widely.

"That's right, no one can defeat the might of the great hero Sakon!" he cried out dramatically. "Run in fear because I'm the monster that haunts your nightmares!"

The Postman rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, looking away as Sakon cut down the Moblin.

Sakon was clearly pleased with himself and pointed his sword towards the next room, striking a fearless pose. "Onward!" he cried out.

Sakon charged into the next room as The Postman followed slowly behind, not really wanting to watch Sakon kill anything. The next room had four Moblins, all of which were armed with bows and Sakon let out a happy yell, wanting a challenge. As Sakon sliced and fought excitedly, The Postman raised his shield to block the stray arrows that flew his way. Despite these Moblins being better equipped, none could harm Sakon and the thief defeated them all within seconds. Sakon stabbed at a dead Moblin, disappointed the fight hadn't lasted longer and let out a sigh.

"Maybe there will be more challenging ones in the next room?" he said hopefully.

"Stop wanting to make things more difficult." The Postman scolded. "Who knows what's going to happen if you don't stop it."

"Oh, don't be a spoilsport. Everything's fine."

The Postman would rather not take the chance but there was no explaining this to Sakon. Once the thief made up his mind about something, little to nothing could change his mind. He followed Sakon into the next room and Sakon let out a yell of delight at the sight of a mini-boss. The mini-boss had pink wrinkled skin, large protruding fangs and curved horns atop its head. When it saw Sakon, it narrowed its eyes and beat on its chest, much like an ape.

"I knew someone would come." it stated. "You must be an assassin sent by Madame MeowMeow to rescue the mutt. You came here to get me but it is I who will get you!"

It beat on its chest again threateningly then charged directly for them, head lowered like a bull. The Postman barely dodged out of the way in time, not expecting the monster to target him instead of Sakon. The monster smashed its head hard off the wall, the stone actually cracking from the force. The monster fell backwards, its eyes rolling up into its head and then dropped unconscious to the floor. Sakon stared down at it, sword still at the ready then let out an angry yell.

"Aw, you've got to be kidding me! It knocked itself out!"

Sakon gave the monster a poke with the sword but it didn't move. Obviously sulking, Sakon turned away, disappointed about not being able to fight it. "Of all the rotten luck! Stupid monster!"

The Postman stared down at the monster and frowned uncertainly. "Do you think its alright?"

Sakon crossed his arms petulantly. "Who cares?"

The Postman was glad at least one monster survived Sakon and knelt down beside it. Turning its head slightly, The Postman saw an enormous bump on top of its head and gently touched it. It was bleeding a dark purple and The Postman felt bad for it. Monsters tended not to think the same way people did and The Postman knew it was only trying to defend what it believed was his. Shrugging off the backpack, he dug inside and pulled out an old rag and tied it around the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

"Why are you doing that?" Sakon demanded. "I'm only going to kill him, you know."

"No, you're not." The Postman said with finality. "There's no reason to hurt him; he's completely helpless."

"All the more reason to do it now!"

The Postman met Sakon's gaze but didn't say a word. Sakon stared back a moment then let out an exasperated sigh.

"Fine, but it's completely ridiculous! None of these monsters are real anyway! Why would we just let him live? He tried to kill us!"

The Postman looked down at the monster as it shifted slightly then replied. "Just one, Sakon. Let this one live."

Sakon frowned further then let out a sigh. "I'll let your precious monster live." he promised. "But if he attacks us again then I'm killing him!"

The Postman nodded then stood to follow Sakon into the next room, not noticing that the monster's eyes slowly cracked open to watch him. It was incredibly surprised and confused over what had happened and raised a hand to the bandage on its head. Why would a human show him mercy? He didn't understand and allowed his eyes to slip closed, pretending he was still unconscious.

The next room was built much like a dungeon and they found the dog chained to the wall, a muzzle fastened firmly over its mouth. It growled at them as they approached and The Postman stopped just out of the chain's reach as it strained to get at him. The Postman exchanged a look with Sakon, unsure of whether releasing it would be the best idea.

"Should we just tell Madame MeowMeow where he is?" The Postman asked, hesitantly.

Sakon considered it then shook his head. "All of this is too convenient. This was obviously something set up by the gods and I have a feeling we need the dog for something."

The Postman stared at the snarling beast then slowly reached out his hand towards it. The dog narrowed its eyes at him and attempted to lunge at him. The chain around its neck jerked it back and it let out a loud yelp of pain. Closing his eyes, sure he was about to be chewed alive, The Postman reached out and unbuckled the muzzle.

He heard the muzzle hit the ground and kept his hand out, palm up, hoping he wasn't about to lose it. The dog wasn't expecting to be released and sniffed at his hand suspiciously. The Postman stiffened at the contact then opened his eyes a moment later when nothing happened. Chancing a look at the beast, he sputtered in surprise when it licked him upside the face. Sakon laughed at him, clearly amused but didn't say a word. The Postman noted Sakon had his sword at the ready and he had no doubt Sakon would have killed the dog if it had of attempted anything.

The beast didn't seem like it was going to bite him, so The Postman carefully petted it, its short course fur feeling strange beneath his fingers. The dog turned to lick his fingers and The Postman couldn't help but stare at its long, curved teeth. Sakon gave him a smirk and lowered his sword.

"I guess Fido here senses how much a wimp you are and doesn't think you're a threat."

At the sound of Sakon's voice, the dog growled low in its throat, clearly not approving of the thief. Despite himself, Sakon backed up a step away from the razor sharp fangs.

"We should get going." Sakon suggested. "That dungeon isn't going to defeat itself!"

"What about the dog?" The Postman asked, unclasping the chain from the wall. "Shouldn't we return him?"

"The temple is like 2 minutes away!" Sakon pointed out. "Why would we travel all the way back to the village just to turn around and come right back? Stupid and pointless if you ask me. Let's just do the dungeon and return the dog after."

The Postman knew that made sense but he didn't want to be with the dog anymore than necessary. He felt like it could turn on him at any time and he'd never been very good around animals. The dog seemed content to be led on leash, pulling ahead as if it thought he was taking it for a walk. As they passed the monster in the other room, The Postman looked down at it and noticed its eyes were open watching him silently. They made eye contact and the monster didn't move and The Postman said nothing, instead continuing on out of the cave.

Sakon floated on ahead, scouting out the swamp and The Postman stood on the very edge of the path, staring down at the green water and foul smelling muck with a wrinkled nose. It was definitely better than the sewer but not by much. Sakon returned after a moment and had his sword drawn.

"There were a few weird shark monsters but I got them all for you. There's also some sort of weird fire flower that I couldn't kill. You'll just have to avoid them."

The Postman was still staring down at the smelly swamp water and didn't move. Sakon noticed his expression and let out an irritated sigh.

"Oh, not this again!" he protested. "It's just water and mud!"

"It's polluted."

"So?"

The Postman gave him a 'look'.

"The dungeon is only a couple feet away. A few steps in mud won't kill you!"

The Postman crossed his arms. "No."

Sakon frowned at him. "The gods can't change every little thing that doesn't meet your approval! Get over yourself and just do it!"

"No."

Sakon pointed his sword out across the swamp. "How are we supposed to beat the dungeon when you won't even go near it?!"

The Postman was about to respond but just in front of them, a strange shark-like monster jumped out of the water. Bow-Wow instantly lunged at it and The Postman, who had the leash wrapped around his hand, was tugged headfirst into the swamp. Bow-Wow caught the shark between its massive jaws and quickly ate it whole as The Postman flailed to get himself out of the mud. When he stood, he spat out a mouthful of the polluted water and wiped at his eyes, trying to clear them. He was completely covered head to toe in the smelly mud and Sakon couldn't help but grin at him.

"How's the water, darling?" he teased.

The Postman stood stock-still, knee-deep in the mud, eyes closed looking completely horrified and Bow-Wow approached him, proud as can be. The Postman opened an eye and glared at the dog, not impressed at all.

"This is why I don't like dogs." he commented, trying unsuccessfully to wipe some of the mud off his face.

Sakon gave a laugh. "Now you don't have any excuse not to go to the dungeon. Let's go!"

Sakon floated on ahead to show him the way and The Postman grudgingly followed, plodding his way through the thick mud. Bow-Wow was plastered in the mud as well but seemed incredibly happy as he jumped through the muck easily.

The dungeon's entrance was quite obvious, a large open cave surrounded by fire flowers. Sakon pointlessly poked at a flower with his sword but its petals were rock solid and weren't even scratched.

"Don't come any closer or it'll shoot fire at you." Sakon cautioned. "I'll have to figure out a way to move them somehow."

Bow-Wow eyed the flowers and gave a thoughtful sniff to the air, his teeth bared and ready. The Postman suddenly realized what he meant to do and struggled to unwrap the leash from his wrist. Everything was coated in slime and mud so he couldn't get it undone and, just as he feared, Bow-Wow lunged at one of the flowers. The Postman face-planted into the mud again as Bow-Wow gnawed apart the flowers as if they were nothing but chew-toys.

Sputtering as he sat up, The Postman gave the dog another dirty look.

"I am totally going to give you a puppy for your birthday!" Sakon announced with a laugh. "A big one."

As The Postman trudged his way to the dungeon, he transferred the glare to Sakon. "Don't you dare!"

"Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't want you to neglect it like you do everybody else."

The Postman didn't dignify that with a response and entered the dungeon, glad to be able to get out of the mud. The moment they were inside, Bow-Wow shook, sending droplets of mud and water in all directions and The Postman simply let out a resigned sigh, once again wiping the mud away from his face.

The dungeon had a high stone ceiling looking very similar to a temple or palace and the cold grey walls matched it perfectly, the room illuminated by a skylight high above. A single open door lay against the far wall and Sakon squinted across the room at it.

"So, what are we going to do about Fang here?"

The Postman shook his head much like the dog had but the mud still clung to him like glue. "We can't take him in with us, it's too dangerous." he commented. "If we leave him here, he should be safe."

"What if we need him? Those big teeth of his could come in handy."

"I promised I would return him, so I don't want to put him in any unnecessary danger."

"Ok, well, come on, mud monster, let's get this dungeon over with."

Managing to get the leash untangled from his arm, The Postman followed Sakon through the only door, wondering what lay in store for them. Kaepora Gaebora had told them the dungeons had been changed and he had a feeling it wasn't for the better...

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**Reviews Make The Author Happy!**


	17. The Second Dungeon

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**Hey guys, here's chapter 17. This chapter is very long so be prepared! LOL The next chapter won't be out quite as fast since my week vacation is now over. It should be up within the next week, probably on the weekend.  
**

******Nocturne of Eclipse ** was the 101st reviewer and I decided since I'm so excited about reaching 100 reviews I'm offering a short one-shot as prize! If you don't want anything written, just let me know and reviewer 102 will get it! BTW, here's the little explanation about why i never finished my drabble requests. I actually had most of the requests almost finished but then my computer got the blue screen of death and I lost everything i'd written up to that point. I haaaaate rewriting things so i was like 'screw it' and never finished. lol ******Nocturne of Eclipse, your drabble request was for something in the POV of Ganondorf like a day in the life kind of thing. Is that what you still want or did you have something else in mind? L**ooking forward to seeing what you decide! :)  


**********A huge thank you to my reviewers who always have such nice things to say:  
**

**Reiz16**

**The Empty Lord**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Toolazytologin  
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**Light-Sakura**

******Mikaufan101**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll hopefully have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

The Second Dungeon

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The Postman stood on the ledge near the door and stared down at the floor which was covered in a strange bubbling green and orange liquid. It looked like paint of some kind but he had a feeling it wasn't quite as innocent as it seemed. Curious, he flicked a bit of mud off his arm and watched as the mud instantly disappeared as it made contact with the oily colours. The mud dissolved with an loud hiss, the colours frothing and bubbling dangerously.

Sakon stared down at the floor as well a long moment then turned his gaze to The Postman. "Um, darling, I wouldn't suggest touching the floor..."

The Postman's eyes raked across the rest of the room and fell on single moving platform that went from one side of the room to the other. The platform was no bigger than a book and moved along the far wall, stopping about five feet away from the ledge he stood on. Sakon too saw the moving platform and immediately shook his head.

"No way." he said. "You'll fall and melt."

"There doesn't seem to be another way across." The Postman pointed out.

Sakon floated around the room looking and was inclined to agree. The moving platform was the only way to make it to the other side.

"I'm going to scout ahead. Maybe I won't even need you for this dungeon."

Without another word, Sakon disappeared through the open doorway on the other side of the room and The Postman patiently waited, the strong fumes from the liquid making him feel a bit nauseous. He could hear Sakon fighting something in the next room and a moment later, the thief came back frowning.

"One of the monsters had a key for the next room but I can't pick it up. You're meant to go through the dungeon with me..."

The Postman had suspected as much and gave a nod, setting the heavy backpack down. "I'll have to make the jump."

"Please don't fall off and melt." Sakon requested.

Holding the Roc's feathers and shield, The Postman watched the platform, timing it before he approached the edge. Just as the platform was stopping, he backed up and then ran the few steps to the edge and leaped for it. His feet hit the platform solidly but his balance was off and he flailed his arms wildly only just managing to catch himself by placing a hand on the wall. Sakon looked like he'd just had a heart attack and he let out a breath of relief.

"Be more careful!" he scolded, floating beside him worriedly. "I need you to get back home!"

The Postman didn't answer, eyes focussed ahead on the other side of the room. The platform stopped about 7 feet from the ledge and The Postman couldn't make a run at this one. Holding the Roc's feathers tightly, he leaped with all his might and it was obvious he wasn't going to make it. Sakon let out a cry of horror but The Postman managed to catch the ledge with his fingertips. He quickly tightened his hold and awkwardly pulled himself up, his feet almost touching the bubbling goo beneath. The moment he was safe, Sakon let out a second breath of relief, looking far more upset about it than The Postman.

The Postman simply pocketed the Roc's feathers and turned his attention to the open doorway. Without a word, he went into the next room with Sakon following closely behind. There were several dead monsters laying in a pile near the door and The Postman's gaze fell on the key laying in the centre of the floor. Kneeling down, he picked it up and approached the locked door, trying to ignore the blood that stained the key. The door clicked open and when The Postman pushed it open, he paused at what he saw.

The entire room was a mass of moving platforms; some went straight across the room horizontally while others went diagonally or vertically. They all moved at different speeds, the effect quite dizzying. Once again, the floor was covered in the strange paint-like liquid and The Postman simply stared at the room, trying to make sense of it. Sakon looked over his shoulder into the room and immediately cursed at the sight. Both knew it would be no problem for Sakon to cross the room but it would be a different story completely for The Postman.

There was no solid floor to speak of besides the two ledges in front of either door so it was obvious The Postman was meant to use the moving platforms. Sakon floated into the room, inspecting several different platforms then turned his attention to The Postman.

"You think you can make it?" he asked uncertainly.

The Postman didn't answer, his eyes studying the movements of each platform, trying to time them. He'd always been good at timing things, just not so much in actually enacting it. When he was sure he'd memorized each platform's timing, he glanced at Sakon with a frown.

"Why is it that when you anger the gods, it's me that has to deal with a harder dungeon?"

Sakon gave him an apologetic look. "If it's any consolation, this is just as stressful for me!"

"I somehow doubt that."

The Postman gazed around the room one more time then gave a nod. "I should be able to do it; it's all in the timing."

"Well, be careful." Sakon warned. "You nearly took a swim last time."

One of the platforms came right to the ledge then went diagonally across the room to a small alcove in the wall and The Postman knew that would be the best place to start. Taking a deep breath, he stepped onto the platform as it came to a stop in front of him. Kneeling down so he could grip the bottom of the platform to keep balance, he wavered slightly as it zipped across the room. He let go just as it reached the alcove so he wouldn't get his fingers pinched and hopped down into the relatively safe spot in the wall.

"You looked like a flying mud-monster." Sakon stated, hovering just outside the alcove.

The Postman gave the thief a glare and turned his gaze to the next platform which moved in an 'L' shape above his head. Waiting until it stopped just above him, he jumped up and grabbed a hold of it as it carried him further across the room. When it had gone about half of its circuit, The Postman let go, causing Sakon to let out a shocked yell. He landed safely on another platform below which was making its circuit and Sakon hovered just in front of him, annoyed.

"You could have warned me you were going to do that!" he scolded. "By the goddesses!"

"Sakon, please be quiet, I need to concentrate." The Postman replied, his eyes already on the next platform.

As he leapt for it, Sakon slapped his hands over his mouth to keep quiet, not wanting to distract The Postman while jumping. The Postman's fingers just barely managed to grab the platform and he held on for dear life as it zoomed the rest of the way across the room. He let go and landed safely in front of the door. The Postman took a deep breath then glanced back at Sakon who looked similarly relieved.

"Hopefully that's it for hard rooms." Sakon said, floating over as The Postman opened the door.

The next room was filled with Keese and there didn't seem to be any other danger they could see. Sakon easily killed the Keese and a single silver key dropped to the floor with a clang. The Postman picked it up, glanced around the room then cautiously approached the door, sure there had to be something waiting to jump out at them. The door clicked open and swung inwards harmlessly, revealing the room beyond. When The Postman saw what lay before him, all he could do was sigh.

The room was filled with fire and more of the acid paint, this room even more dangerous than the last two. The fire came out in large blasts, the heat so intense The Postman backed up a step. He gave Sakon a look that clearly said the room was all his fault, then evaluated the fiery inferno before him. As the two rooms previous, everything seemed timed, the flames closest to him igniting first and the ones near the exit last.

"Does fire affect you?" The Postman asked. "Can you be burnt by it?"

Sakon grinned proudly. "Nope. I was experimenting with the campfire last night while you were snoring like a Goron."

"Can you look around and see if there are any other traps?" The Postman requested, ignoring the snoring comment.

Sakon saluted him in perfect mockery of the postal salute and floated into the flames. The Postman watched him inspect the room for a few moments then Sakon gave him a thumbs up, signalling all was well.

"It looks fine as long as you stay on the grate and make it to the door in time." Sakon called to him. "Just don't trip."

The flames were fast and The Postman knew he would have to run at his best to even stand a chance at making it. Staring down at the grates which were the only safe place to walk, he noticed the metal glowed red with an intense heat. The Postman stared a moment, then looked down at his bare feet. Touching the metal was really going to hurt and he hesitated. He furrowed his brow, seeing no other way across the room. Sakon saw his look and floated over.

"Think you can do it?" he asked. "You're fast enough, right?"

The Postman knew he was fast, in fact all of Hyrule and Termina knew how fast he was, but he had his doubts. How fast could someone run while their feet were being burned?

Trying to accurately judge the distance and time it would take him, The Postman was sure he could make it. It would be painful but he felt confident. He gave Sakon a nod and began backing up to get a run for it. Keeping his eyes on the flames, he saw his moment and darted forward, sucking in a deep breath as he stepped through the doorway.

The blinding, excruciating pain that lanced his feet almost caused him to slow down but he forced himself to go faster. Every step was unbearable torture and he couldn't stop the cry that broke from his throat. The first set of flames blasted up behind him so close the heat stung his back and he pushed himself even harder. The next series of flames shot up then the next, each time just barely missing him. The Postman could feel skin from the bottoms of his feet burning onto the grate then ripping off with every step and he wasn't sure how much longer he could support himself. With every step there was a loud hiss, and The Postman felt nauseous from the pain.

"Hurry up!" Sakon screamed into his ear. "I know you can go faster than this! GO!"

The Postman was starting to lose the feeling in his feet and he knew it was impossible for him to go any faster. He could see the open doorway just ahead of him and The Postman tried to focus his pain, making himself keep up the pace. The last wall of fire began shooting upwards and The Postman threw himself forward towards the safety of the door. The flames grazed his feet, The Postman not quite fast enough and he let out a scream of pain. He hit the ground hard and rolled through the open doorway, smashing through several pots resting on the other side.

The Postman laid where he fell, breathing hard with eyes closed, never feeling agony such as this. Sakon hovered over him worriedly and his eyes widened when he saw the damage.

"Your feet!" he gasped in horror, staring at the horrible, bloody burns. "By the goddesses!"

The Postman squeezed his eyes closed even harder and tried to struggle to his feet. All he could feel was pain and he couldn't support himself, falling back to the floor, breaking another jar as he did so. As he panted from the pain, a single pink fairy pulled itself out of the rubble, shaking its wings to clean itself. It immediately saw The Postman was injured and approached to help. As it swirled around him, healing to the best of its abilities, The Postman let out a deep breath of relief. Sakon knelt down next to him, watching the fairy's progress and felt guilty about the whole situation. He hadn't realized the floor would be hot and felt really stupid, knowing the burns would be excruciating.

When the fairy had successfully healed him, it disappeared in a swirl of sparkles, exhausted but satisfied with itself. The Postman slowly sat up and opened his eyes, Sakon leaning into his face worriedly.

"You okay?" He asked uncertainly.

The little fairy had even managed to heal all of The Postman's older wounds so he actually felt pretty good. He gave Sakon a nod and glanced around the room. It was completely empty save for a large chest in the centre of the room. The Postman wasn't sure whether to be impressed with the fact Sakon had ignored treasure for him or whether to just assume the thief hadn't seen it.

Getting to his feet, The Postman noticed the mud had dried to his skin, creating a dry itchy layer and scratched at it as he approached the chest. Now that Sakon saw The Postman was indeed fine, he floated over to the chest eagerly, hoping it was something for him. The Postman opened the chest without a word and it let out a musical chime, letting them know it was something good. Both peered into the chest then hesitated. Instead of a weapon or a powerful magical item, a single pair of boots lay at the bottom. Sakon frowned, feeling ripped off but The Postman eagerly seized them.

"How cheap can you get?" Sakon demanded with a sigh.

The Postman slipped them on, relieved to finally not have to wander around barefoot. They were a perfect fit as if they were made especially for him, and Sakon frowned down at them, disappointed.

"Well, at least they're nice boots..." he commented.

The Postman didn't answer as he was busy lacing the boots but he paused as a thought occurred to him.

"Why couldn't the gods have given me the boots before the fire room?"

"Because the gods have decided they enjoy tormenting you." Sakon replied. "You make an easy target."

The Postman frowned at that and finished tying the boots. He glanced around the room and saw a passageway completely blocked off by giant green crystals. Other than the way they had come in, it was the only way out of the room. Approaching the crystals curiously, he saw they looked incredibly sharp at the tips, the entire mass looking delicate yet deadly. He pushed against it carefully but it didn't budge.

Sakon drew his sword and strode up to him chest puffed out heroically. "Here, let a real man take care of that!"

The Postman rolled his eyes and stepped aside. So much for Sakon being nice to him.

Sakon raised the sword high above his head and brought it down on the crystals as hard as he could. There was a loud 'clang' then Sakon was thrown violently backwards with a shock of electricity. Sakon let out a cry of surprise then immediately shook his hands, trying to get the sting out of his arms.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Sakon whined, rubbing at his arms. "Why do I always get electrocuted by things? Ow!"

He scowled at the crystals then hesitantly approached them again. Reaching out a hand, it passed right through without causing him injury. Sakon then walked right through the crystals as if they weren't even there. He glanced back at them, looking puzzled.

"Huh. I guess they just don't like being attacked..."

The Postman set his hands on the crystals, trying to figure out how to get by. He couldn't climb over because the edges were like razors and there wasn't enough room at the top for him to jump over. He pushed against them once more and it almost felt like it was giving a little but they remained firm.

"I think I'm supposed to push them." The Postman stated, furrowing his brow in thought.

"Well, put a little muscle into it!" Sakon ordered. "Put those flimsy little arms to use!"

The Postman pushed against them as hard as he could but it still didn't budge. Backing up a step, he rammed his shoulder against it and he felt the crystals jiggle a little bit.

"Do it harder!" Sakon encouraged.

The Postman backed up another couple steps and threw himself against the crystals. This time they noticeably moved, creating a high-pitched 'ting' sound.

"You almost had it!" Sakon yelled. "Just try harder!"

The Postman flashed Sakon an annoyed look and backed up as far as he could. He ran a couple steps and was shocked when it seemed like his feet took off on their own. He moved so fast, he was a blur of colour and his shoulder slammed solidly into the crystals, sending chunks of it flying everywhere as it shattered. The Postman tried to slow down and skidded a good ten feet down the hall before coming to a full stop. When he turned around, Sakon was staring at him open-mouthed.

"How...how did you do that?" he questioned. "How'd you get so fast?"

The Postman glanced down at his boots. "I think it was the boots..." he replied.

Sakon stared down the very ordinary looking boots and suddenly changed his mind about them being lame. Deciding they were extremely awesome, he asked.

"Can I have them?"

The Postman frowned. "No."

Sakon pondered a moment. "Well, can I try them on then?"

"No."

The Postman knew Sakon's reputation and wasn't about to trust him. Sakon crossed his arms at him, looking completely sulky.

"Friends are supposed to share!" he complained.

"No." The Postman repeated, turning away to inspect the hallway.

The hallway was dimly lit but didn't seem to have anything dangerous anywhere in sight. As Sakon whined at him, The Postman tuned him out and started down the hallway, hoping the dungeon was almost over. The walk through the hallway was pretty uneventful and when they finally came to a door, The Postman paused. Slowly reaching out and opening it, he let out a breath of relief when he saw the room only contained a few monsters.

Upon seeing the monsters, Sakon let out a yell of pure glee, instantly forgetting about the boots. He happily slashed and killed anything that moved and The Postman picked up the key that fell to the floor. The room was a welcome break after the last three horrendous ones and the following five were no challenge either. Sakon was having the time of his life since the rooms were obviously meant for him and The Postman simply stood at the sidelines watching.

"When they came to a room full of green crystals, Sakon sheathed his sword in disappointment then pointed to a crystal.

"Alright, go get 'em, killer!"

The Postman simply smashed through the crystals, his boots making the job easy and beneath one of the crystals they found a switch. They both stared at it for a moment then Sakon glanced at The Postman.

"Press it."

The Postman shook his head. "How do you know that won't activate some sort of trap? These rooms have been far too easy..."

Sakon let out a sigh, obviously thinking The Postman was paranoid, then ordered. "Stand out of the way then."

The Postman backed far away and raised his shield as Sakon pressed down on the switch with his sword. The only thing that happened was the next door slid open. Sakon removed his sword and it slammed closed again.

"Hmm, so it's one of those switches..." Sakon stated thoughtfully.

There wasn't anything in the room that they could see that was supposed to hold it down so The Postman began pushing chunks of crystal on top of it. The pieces of crystal didn't weigh very much he had to create a pile as tall as himself before the door opened.

"Quick!" Sakon cried. "Through the door before someone realized we cheated!"

They hurried through the open doorway but the door remained open, the crystals apparently acceptable. The new room was completely empty, a single locked door across from them and both glanced all around, looking for a switch.

"Nyah ha ha ha!" cackled a voice from somewhere within the seemingly empty room. "Look all you want, you'll never find me!"

The Postman looked up and he saw a white, glossy looking monster attached to the ceiling. Wordlessly he pointed it out to Sakon who smirked at the monster's stupidity.

"I'm invisible!" the monster cried out. "I could be absolutely anywhere! Doesn't that frighten you?"

"Um, you're on the ceiling." Sakon stated.

There was a lengthy pause. "No, I'm not!" the monster insisted. "I'm moving all about the room like a cold breeze!"

Sakon crossed his arms. "I'm staring right at you!"

There was another pause then the monster dropped several baby Jellies down on top of them. "Cower at my incredible strength!"

Sakon raised an eyebrow and killed the Jellies with a single swipe of his sword. "...no, that really wasn't that frightening."

The monster seemed determined and dropped a good twenty of the tiny harmless Jellies down.

"Stop that!" Sakon ordered, easily disposing of the Jellies. "Come down and fight me like a man...er... monster!"

"Nyah!" the monster replied, dropping even more Jellies down.

Sakon scowled up at it as he killed the Jellies then jumped into the air. He floated up to its level then held out the sword threateningly. He was about to strike then hesitated as he got his first good look at the monster.

"You...you're an eyeball?!" Sakon cried out in disbelief.

The 'eye' turned and blinked at him then threw a Jelly at him, giggling as it did so. Sakon had no idea how an eye managed to throw a jelly nor how it could giggle. The Jelly fell through Sakon and landed on the floor, looking incredibly confused.

To Sakon, a monster was a monster, and he gave an indifferent shrug. Lashing out with his sword, he attempted to stab it. The eye simply turned its pupil towards the ceiling out of harms way and Sakon's sword bounced harmlessly off the rubbery flesh.

"Fiend!" Sakon yelled out dramatically. "I'll poke out your eye! Stop being such a coward!"

"Nyah!"

Sakon swung and stabbed at the eye but no matter what he did, he couldn't harm it. He tried prying it away from the ceiling but it was stuck fast.

"Stupid monster!" Sakon growled. "Let me kill you!"

The monster started to reply but its response was drowned out by an earsplitting roar. Both Sakon and The Postman turned towards the door just in time to see the mini-boss from the cave charge in, head bowed as it screamed out a war cry. With all of its strength, it slammed its horns against the wall, causing the entire room to shake and shift as a good portion of the wall collapsed. The eye on the ceiling wavered as the whole room trembled, then it lost its grip and fell to the floor.

The large pink monster let out a ferocious roar, beating its chest threateningly then it charged straight for the eye. The eyes didn't even have time to react before the monster's horns stabbed deep into its pupil. To both The Postman and Sakon's disgust, the eye burst, sending fluids dripping all down the monster's head and back. The monster stomped a few times on the dead body then let out a bellow of triumph, beating on its chest proudly.

Sakon was quite upset as he'd wanted to defeat the eye, and stomped over to the monster angrily.

"Hey! That was my kill, you stupid lummox!"

He raised his sword to stab the monster but The Postman quickly intervened and raised a hand to stop him. The monster grinned at The Postman, its pointy teeth black and rotted.

"I helped the little assassin!" it exclaimed proudly.

The Postman gave a slow nod, unsure of what the monster was going to do next. The monster yelled out once more as it kicked the eye's carcass then turned towards the door.

"I am the Great Moblin and the little assassin is no enemy of mine any longer! Moblins will sing your praise!"

It gave Sakon a glare then beat on its chest one final time and charged out of the room the way it had come. Both stared after him in confusion.

"Oooookay then..." Sakon commented with a raised brow. "That was just plain weird..."

"How did he get past all those rooms without getting hurt?" The Postman wondered out loud. "He's a lot bigger and much slower than me..."

Sakon thought about that but couldn't come up with an answer. "Maybe the traps don't activate for monsters?"

The Postman gave one more glance towards the door then approached the chest which had appeared in the centre of the room. When he opened it there was a musical chime and he picked up the massive key from within. Sakon instantly knew what it was for and pumped his fist excitedly.

"Yes! That's for the main monster of the dungeon!" he cried. "Finally some action!"

"The last one you fought could hurt you." The Postman pointed out.

Sakon's grin disappeared. "...I forgot about that. Do you think all of the boss monsters can do that?"

"Probably." The Postman responded, approaching the open doorway.

Sakon paused a really long moment before catching up to him. "It's not as fun if it's a fair fight." he complained.

The Postman didn't answer as he was staring at the large door at the end of the hallway. It looked exactly like the one from the other dungeon and he knew something horrible was likely behind it. Lifting the key towards the keyhole, The Postman glanced behind himself at Sakon.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

Sakon fervently shook his head. "No...but do it anyway. Go ahead and thrust your key in that hole real good, darling."

The Postman let out a sigh and unlocked the door. He was not going to dignify Sakon with a response on that one. The door slid open to reveal an enormous room with a lake of the acid paint in the centre, the only safe spots to step were the very edges of the room and several platforms. A domed ceiling was high above them letting light stream through its dirty and stained windows and there wasn't a monster in sight. They stepped into the room and the door slammed shut and locked behind them. Sakon frowned at the empty room, not liking the silence.

"Where is it?" he questioned.

As if answering Sakon, there was a loud roar which echoed all throughout the room. Silver smoke began emitting from one of the walls and as they stared uncertainly, the smoke became thicker and thicker. There was a thunderous boom which shook the entire room and pieces of stone flew in all directions dangerously. Part of the wall collapsed from the blast and a large cloud of dust rose, filling room almost instantly. There was a moments pause as the dust began to settle then they saw a movement from within the newly formed cave.

A large elegant, scaled head peered out of the cave at them for a good long moment then it narrowed its one single eye. One of its sockets was empty and Sakon let out a low curse, realizing what had happened. The monster pulled itself out of the cave, knocking the loose, gravel and rocks out of its way as it did so and continued to observe them, it's eye patient and full of intelligence. The Postman had seen creatures such as this one before and knew it was a dragon.

The monster's scales were ice blue in colour and two tall spiralling horns adorned its head, so long they almost touched its leathery wings. It was completely covered in ragged spikes and large, gleaming fangs could clearly be seen even from across the room. The dragon was truly magnificent and by the muscles rippling with its every movement, they knew this would be no easy battle.

"Um, darling, you might want to get your shield ready." Sakon suggested, drawing his sword.

Sakon gave another quick glance around the room then turned his attention back to the dragon who hadn't moved. It stood halfway out of the cave watching them silently as if deciding what it was going to do. The Postman could hear the dragon communicating telepathically with its eye which seemed to have a mind of its own and he could feel the strong magic licking at his skin. The magic was very powerful within the room and when The Postman glanced at Sakon, it didn't appear as if the thief could sense it. It was disconcerting to have voices within his mind and The Postman wondered why Sakon couldn't hear anything. Was it another trick of the gods?

The dragon seemed to be having an argument of some sort but The Postman couldn't understand its language. The dragon's words were surprisingly silky, not a voice one would expect from a great brute of a creature like that. The conversation was obviously about them and the dragon's gaze was directly on him, seemingly ignoring Sakon.

The Postman had only felt magic this strongly once before and that was when he'd wielded a powerful, enchanted sword several months ago. It had not ended well for anyone. The Postman closed his eyes a moment and felt the magic around him pulse. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he could tell the magic's core came from somewhere within the dragon's head, likely its mind. Despite the magic practically crackling in the air, Sakon didn't even seem to be aware of the magic at all; to him the dragon was simply standing there.

The dragon narrowed its eye and for several long seconds, the only sound in the room was the sizzling of the acid lake. The dragon then began noticeably bristling in anger, its claws extending and teeth bared into a snarl threateningly. The Postman readied his shield and Sakon held his sword tightly as the dragon began charging straight for them full force, right through the acid lake. Sakon spared a quick glance at The Postman and saw he was at the ready then turned his attention back to the approaching dragon.

The dragon reached them and it was like a tidal wave hitting the beach, sprays of acid and rock going in all directions. Sakon wasn't affected by the acid but The Postman threw out his shield just in time, the acid hissing as it made contact.

The dragon opened its mouth, sucked in a deep breath then shot out a blast of magic so strong, it made The Postman's head hurt from the energy crackling all around him. The shield protected him from it but Sakon had no fear and didn't move, that proving to be a big mistake as the energy struck his side, causing him to yowl in pain. The Postman saw what was happening to Sakon and, using his boots, he ran, smashing the dragon hard on the foot with the shield.

The dragon turned its attention away from Sakon and kicked The Postman away from it, causing him to hit the wall hard. Knowing Sakon needed his help, he ran at it again. Sakon jumped out of the way before a second blast could be turned on him and glanced down at his bleeding side. The dragon cut off the blast and attacked full force.

The Postman leapt aside from a clawed foot and Sakon rolled beneath the dragon as it reached for him and he stabbed upwards with his sword. The sword barely made a scratch and the dragon swiped Sakon aside with its tail before he could lash out again. Sakon was sent sprawling across the room, the breath knocked out of him and when he looked up, he felt the blood drain from his face. The dragon was coming straight for him and Sakon had no idea where his sword had landed.

There was a loud 'whump' as the dragon slammed its feet down just in front of him and Sakon looked up to see the dragon staring down at him, teeth dripping with saliva. Sakon stared back from where he was sprawled then slowly got to his feet when the dragon didn't dive straight into an attack but rather considered him first. Sakon took that opportunity to quickly scan the ground for his sword, careful not to move his head so not to give himself away.

He spotted it about fifteen feet away and he considered his options about getting his hands on it. His glare met the dragon's ferocious gaze who blew out a small breath of steam and Sakon's eyes widened as he realized what it was about it do. Just as the dragon breathed out another blast of energy, The Postman threw himself in front of Sakon, holding up his shield to protect the both of them. A second wall of energy rained down on them but the shield withstood it.

Knowing this was the only opportunity he would have, Sakon rolled into a run already halfway to his sword. He had taken the dragon by surprise as it had not expected that, and it abruptly cut off the stream of energy and leapt towards him, mouth agape. Sakon grabbed his sword and without pausing, rolled again out of the way so he once more stood in a stand off with the dragon, this time armed.

The dragon stared at the sword, not appreciating the delay and narrowed its eye to a mere slit of red. It let out a noise similar to a hiss and took a step forward. Sakon raised his sword, his hands shaking, regretting ever entering the room. He was a thief, not a hero and wasn't used to fighting for his life. Sakon swung out his sword and stanced his legs, daring the dragon to make the first move.

"The eye socket!" The Postman yelled out to him. "Its weak spot is the eye socket!"

Sakon gave a quick glance up to the empty socket and wondered how he would be able to stab there. The eye was a bit too close to the mouth for his liking. He wasn't certain how The Postman knew that was where he needed to attack but he trusted him. The dragon hissed at The Postman, obviously not appreciating its secrets being given away, and bristled, readying for another attack.

Before Sakon could even begin to wonder what was going on, the dragon charged forward and seized The Postman in one of its hands tightly. Sakon's mouth dropped open as he realized he was about to see the death of his friend and took action. Breathing heavily, Sakon ran at the dragon, sword raised. The dragon stared him in the eyes then reached out a hand to swat him away, The Postman still firmly grasped in its hold.

Sakon, swung the sword and made a shallow cut on its hand, causing it to retract its hand in surprise.

"The eye socket!" The Postman reminded him. "It will kill it!"

The dragon let out a roar of anger, gave a mighty heave, then threw The Postman high into air. The Postman felt his stomach lurch and his eyes burn as he was flung upwards and he almost reached the domed ceiling before he began falling. As he plummeted towards the dragon, it opened its mouth, its massive jaws dripping in anticipation. The Postman plunged downwards face down, the large curved teeth getting closer and closer.

The dragon's throat looked like the gateway to hell itself, red, endless and full of death. Absolutely terrified for the first time in his life that he could remember, The Postman let out a yell and squeezed his eyes closed, not wanting to see it coming. The jaws snapped closed on him and the dragon who had been ignoring Sakon, didn't see the thief on its blind side. Just as the jaws closed, Sakon stabbed his sword as hard as he could into the empty eye socket.

The dragon stiffened, its entire body freezing in surprise, then flailed out with a hand towards its eye. Sakon gave the sword a twist and pulled it free, dodging the thrashing hands. The dragon as in obvious agony and was so distracted, Sakon stabbed it in the other eye socket, bursting the dragon's one good eye. It let out a roar of pain and shook its head trying to dislodge the thief. Sakon shoved the sword in even deeper, all the way to the hilt, and with a tremendous shudder, the dragon fell to the ground. It twitched several times, its hands clasping and unclasping and Sakon gave the sword one last twist before pulling it free. The dragon did not move again.

Not even pausing to savour his victory, Sakon rushed over to the dragons mouth and pulled at it, trying to open it.

"Jihiro?" Sakon yelled, scared about what he might find. "Jihiro?"

"...I'm fine." came the reply from somewhere inside the mouth. "It didn't bite down. Please get me out of here..."

Sakon let out a breath of relief, then grinned, seeing this as a perfect opportunity to tease. Leaning casually against the mouth, Sakon said,

"What will you do for me if I do?"

"Sakon!" The Postman yelled out at him angrily.

"Well, I saved your life for a change so I think I deserve something in return!" Sakon replied, his grin growing wider.

"Sakon!" The Postman snapped. "Let me out. Now!"

"Hmm, you're kind of snippy for someone asking for help!"

"Let me out and I promise not to kick you in the face once you're back in your body!" The Postman yelled out, starting to get quite mad.

Sakon let out a sigh. "Well, I suppose since you asked me soooo nicely I can let you out."

Taking his sword, he stuck it between the teeth and pried as hard as he could. The mouth opened a small fraction and The Postman squeezed himself out, giving Sakon a glare as he did so. The Postman was now covered in saliva as well as swamp mud, his hair sticking in all directions and Sakon had never seen him looking such a mess. Sakon gave a laugh.

"You look very sexy, darling, the best you've ever looked!" Sakon commented, snickering. "You should make that your new look!"

The Postman wiped some of the saliva off his face and gave Sakon another glare. Although he was thankful for Sakon saving him, the thief made it rather difficult to even consider thanking him. Instead, he turned his attention to the ornate chest which had appeared in front of the dragon's body. Sakon hadn't noticed the chest until then and he too, approached it eagerly

The Postman reached out and opened the chest, a blinding flash of light illuminating the room. The Postman once again heard the strange song he was now beginning to associate with the island and looked inside at the cowbell within. The song that swelled around him was played on both cello and cowbell and Sakon frowned at the cowbell as The Postman picked it up.

"All that work for a stupid bell?"

The entire room seemed to fade into pure white as the music swelled and The Postman closed his eyes, feeling himself being transported.

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**Reviews Make The Author Happy**


	18. Religion of The Postman

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**Hey guys, here's chapter 18. Sooo sorry that this chapter took so long! My cat broke my laptop and i can't afford a new one right now. :( I had to wait until i could borrow a laptop from my nephew in order to post this. Hopefully if i can borrow the laptop again, the next update will be up on the weekend.  
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**********A huge thank you to my reviewers who always have such nice things to say:  
**

**Reiz16**

**ChocolateMilkLOL**

**The Empty Lord X2  
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**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Light-Sakura**

******Mikaufan101**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll hopefully have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

The Religion of The Postman

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When The Postman opened his eyes, they were back at the entrance of the dungeon. Bow-Wow gave a happy yap at the sight of him and strained against its chain to greet him. The Postman glanced over at Sakon, who gave another disappointed frown at the cowbell, then approached to untie the dog. Bow-Wow slobbered all up the side of his face in greeting but considering that he'd just been inside a dragon's mouth, The Postman didn't especially care. Without a word, he approached the room he'd left the backpack in then stopped at what he saw.

"Sakon?"

"Hmm?" the thief queried, floating up behind him. "What?"

The Postman simply pointed at the room before them. Gone was the paint-like acid and single platform The Postman had used to cross the room. Everything was silent and still. The room was completely harmless and they could simply walk across it if they wanted. The Postman turned questioning eyes to Sakon.

Sakon floated into the room, looking genuinely fascinated. "Huh." was his only comment.

"I suppose this explains how the Great Moblin got through the dungeon." The Postman stated. "The rooms must have deactivated after we got through them."

Sakon crinkled his nose. "That's stupid and unfair."

He didn't elaborate any more on that and simply floated back out towards the cave's entrance. The Postman shouldered the backpack and followed after him, Bow-Wow's leash held loosely in his hand. The moment they stepped outside, they could tell something was different. The swamp itself looked the same but everything was very, very quiet, the only sound the buzzing of the occasional bug. The Postman stepped into the swamp, looking around himself curiously. Bow-Wow was obviously eager to go and pulled at the leash, forcing him to cross the swamp.

Sakon had his sword drawn and was looking all around in suspicion but there were no sign of any monsters. The Postman made it to the other side of the swamp with no problems and they travelled back towards the woods, both keeping a eye around themselves. When they came to the deep pits separating the swamp and the woods, they now saw what was so different. Whereas before the woods had been buried in snow, it was now a complete desert, the trees dried and shrivelled.

They stared a moment and Sakon floated across first to check things out. When it seemed to be safe, The Postman hopped across the gap and onto the sand where the forest had once been. Bow-Wow sniffed at a few dead plants then began tugging The Postman back towards the village.

"What do you think happened?" The Postman asked. "Is this our next clue or did the Goddesses change the island again?"

"Probably both." Sakon replied. "I don't think anything here is accidental."

The Postman silently agreed and followed along after the thief, the heat beating down on him almost unbearable. From the time The Postman lived in the Gerudo desert he had become accustomed to the extreme temperatures, so although it was hot, he didn't find it terribly so. Sakon was miserable however and voiced his complaints loudly as they walked along. He too had been to the Gerudo desert multiple times and had a higher tolerance for heat than most people but he still didn't like it.

The Postman said nothing to Sakon's complaints and he walked in silence for a while, lost in thought. Dead grass and plants crunched beneath The Postman's boots and travelling was a lot easier since they no longer had to stay to the paths. Bow-Wow was completely pitiful in his distress and he was panting and whining in discomfort.

The Postman petted his head then commented. "All of his black fur is probably holding in the heat; we should find him some water."

"Um, darling, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but there doesn't seem to be a great abundance of water around here."

"There's a fountain up ahead." The Postman informed him, pointing. "Maybe it still works?"

Sakon squinted way ahead of them and sure enough he could just make out the outline of something large and made of stone. "How do you know it's a fountain? It could be some sort of crypt for all you know."

"You need glasses." The Postman stated.

Sakon was immediately indignant. "I do not! My eyes are perfect, just like the rest of me!"

The Postman didn't respond, instead heading towards the massive fountain. The main tier of the fountain was like a small pool with several tiers both above and below it. Surprisingly enough, it was already running, the water fresh and clear looking. Bow-Wow lapped greedily at the water on the lowest level and The Postman hesitantly reached out a hand to run it through the water while Sakon frowned at it. The last time the thief drank suspicious looking water he ended up cursed.

"I don't think you should drink that." Sakon suggested. "You might turn into a raccoon or something."

The Postman gave him an odd look. "A raccoon?"

Sakon shrugged. "You never know what might happen in this crazy place."

"You're only saying that because you can't eat or drink."

"Fine, drink it and turn yourself into a magic mushroom for all I care!" Sakon commented with a roll of the eyes. "But you can't say I didn't warn you."

The Postman ran his fingers through the water again as he watched Bow-Wow drink. "Nothing's happening to him." He pointed out.

"Maybe the curse only works against postmen?"

The Postman knew that was not likely the case and stared down at the cool, clear water thoughtfully. He actually wasn't thirsty anyway but he was dirty. Dropping the backpack to the ground, The Postman began digging around inside it as Sakon watched him curiously.

"Do you have any soap?" The Postman asked him when his search proved fruitless.

Sakon stared at him in disbelief. "You're taking a bath in the fountain?"

"I'm covered in blood, swamp gunk, and dried saliva." The Postman responded impatiently.

"What if this is the only water-source on the entire island now? For all you know, people could have to walk miles and miles to get fresh water and instead they'll find dirty scum water. You're going to force poor innocent creatures to drink your body-slime!"

The Postman crossed his arms. "I thought you were convinced the fountain was cursed?"

"I am, but I think its curse will only work on you. No need to punish the poor islanders by contaminating the water!"

The Postman leveled him with a 'look'. "Do you really care?"

Sakon gave himself away by grinning. "Nope, I'm just messing with you. The soap's in the back pocket underneath my toothbrush."

The Postman dug into the backpack and he found the soap inside a tin and by the smell of it, it was quite expensive. Setting it on the edge of the fountain, he kicked off his boots and yanked off his mud-soaked shirt, pausing when he saw Sakon was staring at him. He gave the thief a frown.

"Do you mind?" he demanded.

"Not at all," Sakon responded, unabashedly. "Continue."

"Don't be a pervert." The Postman scolded, narrowing his eyes. "Turn away."

Sakon let out a sigh and turned his back to humour him. "I don't see why you're so shy, it's not like you have anything I haven't seen ten thousand times before."

"That's not the point." The Postman responded, peeling the rest of his clothes off.

"Then what is the point?" Sakon demanded.

The Postman dropped his mud-plastered clothing into one of the lower pools to soak then carefully stepped into fountain. "It's rude." He answered, taking a seat in the cold water.

Sakon let out a snort and turned around. "Since when has that ever stopped me?"

The Postman pointedly didn't respond and instead reached for the soap. Sitting underneath the spray of the fountain, he scrubbed at his hair which was actually stiff from grime. The Postman by nature, was a very clean person, so as he felt the mud washing away, he let out a sigh of relief.

Sakon let out a groan of boredom and floated on his back, hating not doing anything. He wished some sort of monster would wander by so he could fight it or at least chase it around for a bit. After a while, he began humming tunelessly and stared up at the sky, pondering to himself. The Postman ignored him for the most part and had to admit he rather liked the scent of the soap.

"Where did you get the soap?" The Postman asked, wondering if Sakon had been looting Hyrule castle. "It smells like cinnamon."

Sakon glanced over at him. "I stole it from Ganondorf."

The Postman paused and stared at the bar of soap in alarm. "Ganondorf?!"

"Yeah, I steal from him all the time. He doesn't care as long as I only take little things." Sakon replied.

The Postman stared again at the soap as if it would bite him. "Didn't he just try to kill you because you stole from him?"

"That wasn't something small." Sakon stated. "I tried to steal a magic sword and I took off with his loftwing. He probably would have attempted to break every bone in my body if I hadn't of drunk that cursed water."

"Why do you steal from Ganondorf?" The Postman demanded. "Do you have a death wish?"

"You might as well ask me why I breathe." Sakon said with a grin. "If people don't want me to steal from them, they shouldn't leave things where I can find them!"

"You're going to get yourself killed." The Postman said decidedly.

"Relax, I told you he doesn't care if I steal unimportant things." Sakon said. "Although, I did find out the hard way not to touch his nuts."

The Postman gave him an unimpressed look. "Can't you take anything serious? You're going to get yourself killed."

Sakon paused then let out a snicker when he realized what he'd said. "No, darling, I meant real nuts, the kind that come in a shell. That wasn't innuendo for anything, you just have a dirty mind."

The Postman gave him a skeptical look.

"All I did was snitch like three almonds from the bowl on his desk and he had me beaten and thrown in the dungeon. I don't even know how he knew I did it; he must have them counted or something."

The Postman wasn't sure whether to believe him or not but decided it wasn't worth the effort to question him. Hearing a strange grinding noise, The Postman looked down and saw Bow-Wow was gnawing on his shield.

"Bow-Wow no!" he protested, reaching down and yanking it out of the dog's jaws. The dog let out a growl at him then flopped down on the ground, sill panting from the heat.

"Hurry up." Sakon ordered, impatiently. "Even the dog wants to get going."

"I'm not done yet."

"Who cares? You look clean enough to me!"

"You can wait a few more minutes." The Postman informed him. "I still have dirt underneath my nails."

"What are you, a girl?! Who cares if your nails are clean?" Sakon demanded. "Hurry up, I'm bored!"

"Harassing me will only make me take longer." The Postman informed him.

Sakon gave him a cocky grin and drew his sword. "Get out or I'll stab ya!"

The Postman didn't look overly concerned.

Sakon poked him with the tip of the sword and The Postman swatted it away irritably. "Stop that." He ordered.

"Nope." Sakon answered, popping the 'p' at the end.

He gave him another light poke so The Postman raised the shield in an attempt to block him. Sakon wasn't deterred however and only saw it as a challenge. He raised the sword back, wanting to bring the sword down hard enough to knock the shield aside.

"Quit it." The Postman growled, knowing what he was about to do.

"Nope." Sakon repeated, bringing down the sword as hard as he could.

The Postman held up the shield in anticipation but neither were expecting the sword to go right through the shield as if it wasn't even there. Both froze when steel met flesh and The Postman very, very slowly looked down at his chest. His eyes widened and Sakon withdrew the sword hurriedly.

"Are you okay?" he cried. "Did it cut you?"

Sakon couldn't see past the shield but his question was answered for him when the water in the fountain began turning red. The Postman was frozen in place, seemingly in shock and Sakon began to panic. He instinctively reached out a hand to help but he couldn't touch The Postman and there was nothing he could do. The water was getting redder and redder and Sakon realized there was no way for them to get help in time. The Postman was going to bleed to death.

Backing away with wide, scared eyes, Sakon let out a gulp then said. "Jihiro…I'm sorry."

Without another word, Sakon fled, flying as fast as he could away from the gruesome scene. The Postman gave a heavy blink, feeling rather lightheaded and stared down at the deep gash in his chest. He placed a hand over the wound in vain, dark spots appearing in his vision. He didn't notice when the sparkles begin to emit from the water or when there was a sound like tinkling bells. He did hear the splash of water however and looked up to see a Great Fairy hovering just above him. Her wild pink hair was held back by leaves of green ivy and her clothes seemed to be made of nothing more than vines and flowers. She stared down at him a moment then curled up her nose.

"…are you taking a bath in my fountain?" she demanded.

The Postman couldn't answer her, struggling to breath. He gave a wet-sounding cough and his fingers came away stained in red.

The Great Fairy noticed the severity of his injuries and swooped into action. "Okay, sweetie, hold still." She ordered.

The Postman felt her magic surround him and instantly the pain was gone. Looking down, he saw the wound in his chest slowly closing over and he let out a breath of relief.

"How did you manage to do that to yourself while taking a bath?" The Great Fairy asked, curiously.

The Postman gave a gasp, finally able to breathe properly and immediately noticed he was naked in front of a woman. Hurriedly bringing his knees to his chest, he felt his cheeks redden. The Fairy simply laughed and shook her head in amusement but didn't comment.

"It was an accident." The Postman said, answering her question.

"Well, I didn't think you would have sliced your own chest open for the fun of it." The Fairy responded, still amused. "But I must say that I don't really appreciate all the blood in my sacred fountain…"

"Sorry, miss, I thought it was an ordinary fountain…"

The fairy let out a sigh and touched the water with one of her fingers, instantly clearing it back to the way it was. Satisfied, she turned her gaze to The Postman.

"Kindly get out of my fountain now."

The Postman hesitated. "Yes, miss."

She frowned when he didn't move. "Sometime today?"

"Yes, miss." He answered, still not moving, appearing somewhat trapped.

"Oh for Din's sake." The Fairy muttered with a sigh.

With a wave of her hand, The Postman was dressed and standing outside the fountain, dry and fully groomed. The Postman looked down at himself and saw his clothes were cleaned of all stains.

"Oh! Thank you, miss!"

"No more bathing or bleeding in my fountain." The Fairy said, her eyes settling on Bow-Wow. "And no more strange beasts that drink the water."

The Postman nodded his agreement. The Great Fairy gave him one last smile of amusement then spun in the air with a shimmer of sparkles and disappeared back within the fountain.

The Postman stared a moment, then reached down to pick up Bow-Wow's leash. Bow-Wow gave an excited yip at the prospect of another walk and The Postman barely managed to get the backpack on before he was tugged away. Once he returned Bow-Wow, he'd track down Sakon wherever he was hiding.

"Why does Sakon always have to make everything so difficult?" he asked Bow-Wow.

The dog simply cocked its head at him curiously.

The Postman saw no sign of Sakon as they walked along and he wondered where the thief had gone. Hoping he had simply gone back to the village, he headed in that direction. After a while, they approached a rocky canyon and Bow-Wow suddenly bared his fangs and stopped abruptly. The Postman gave him a questioning look, then peered around the bend. He instantly saw the reason for Bow-Wow's hostility and froze, hoping he hadn't been seen. A huge army of about 1000 Moblins blocked the way, each with their weapons drawn, obviously preparing for battle of some kind. Their green faces were smeared with paint and their armour gleamed blindingly in the sun, making them truly an intimidating sight.

The Postman was about to quietly back away but Bow-Wow had other ideas. He let out a booming bark and started dragging The Postman towards the army, snarling viciously. As every Moblin turned to stare at him, The Postman fought to untie the leash from his arm. He knew he should have learned from last time not to wrap the leash around his wrist and now he couldn't get it undone. Bow-Wow stopped just a few feet in front of the Moblins and stared at them through narrowed eyes, obviously trying to decide which one to attack first.

The Postman stared at the Moblins warily as they stared back at him silently. Then to The Postman's complete surprise, they all dropped to their knees. Every eye was focussed entirely on The Postman and without any warning every Moblin began to sing. Moblins were not meant to be singers and it was both too loud and very off-key. The native tongue of Moblins was harsh and guttural and none of the Moblins seemed to be singing in the same tempo. The Postman found it both horrifying and surreal and he tried once again to pull away from Bow-Wow. Bow-Wow was incredibly confused by his turn of events and ignored the tugging on the leash as he stared at the Moblins suspiciously.

The Postman knew several languages from dealing with many races and cultures over the years and he struggled to understand the garbled singing. He was dumbfounded when he realized they were singing about him. He understood something about mercy, the kindness of a weakling human and the evil tyranny of the gods. They sang of a great battle to come against the fish of the sky and The Postman's courage to do what they could not.

Now feeling extremely uncomfortable, The Postman tugged hard at Bow-Wow's leash, trying to back away. The Moblins surged forward and surrounded him, effectively cutting off any escape. Shifting about uneasily, The Postman listened to the rest of the song in silence. When they had finished, every Moblin looked at him expectantly, obviously quite pleased with themselves. The Postman managed a shaky smile which he hoped looked somewhat friendly and really, really wanted to run away.

"**Great, merciful warrior**!" one of the Moblins greeted him in its native tongue, throwing out its arms dramatically. "**You honour us with your presence!**"

The Postman wasn't sure what to say to that and hesitated. "uh…"

"**Such eloquence the merciful one has**!" the Moblin complimented genuinely.

The Postman looked one way then the other but still saw no way to escape. "**Um…what exactly is going on**?" he asked uncertainly in their speech.

The Moblins all let out a gasp in unison and began whispering amongst themselves. The Moblin in front of him grinned widely and made another dramatic sweeping of his arms.

"**He speaks our language**!" he bellowed out to the others. "**See the intelligence of our master**?"

The Postman's eyes widened. "**Your ****what**?!"

"**You great sir, are the honoured one of the Moblin clan! No one has ever shown such kindness to our kind before**!"

The Postman suddenly remembered the Great Moblin which he had made Sakon spare. He hadn't thought of it before but the Great Moblin was likely the leader of the Moblin clan and he had saved his life. He knew from experience, Moblins placed a great deal of importance on their leaders and wars had been created over such. The Great Moblin, after killing the eye mini-boss, had told them he would be spreading the word and he had obviously been quite busy doing just that. The Postman winced at the implications.

"**Oh…**"

"**You must let us sing you praises to show our loyalty to you, great merciful one**!"

"**Um…no thank you…**"

The Moblin's expression instantly turned to a frown. "**Have we offended you in some way, master**?"

"**Please don't call me that**." The Postman requested. "**I'm not your master and I'm not…whatever it is you're treating me as. Now, I'm really in a hurry if you don't mind…**"

"**Hear his humbleness**!" The Moblin yelled out to the others. "**See how generous our master is to us? He only has our well-being in mind!"**

The other Moblins gave a yell of approval in return, pumping their fists to the air. The Postman simply let out a sigh. He had a feeling this was going to turn into a huge bother.

"**I didn't really ****do**** anything**." He told the Moblins. "**I'm just a postman**."

"**No need to be so humble, my lord**!" the Moblin replied. "**We know the tale of how you stood up to the invincible demon and made him spare our leader! You have been sent to deliver us from the repression of the Windfish! If you can stop the invincible demon then you will succeed against the evil of the gods**!"

"**Sakon isn't exactly what I would call a demon…**" The Postman replied thoughtfully, wondering if something was being lost in translation. "**He's more of a nuisance than anything**."

"**Brave, master**!" the Moblin praised.

The Postman let out another sigh. "**I'm not going to change your mind about this, am I**?"

Every Moblin shook their head. "**Our faith in you is unwavering**."

"**I wish you would reconsider**." He told them. "**You're going to be disappointed if you put your faith in my abilities as a hero**."

"**Never**." The Moblin in front of him responded.

"**Well, I really need to be on my way…**" The Postman answered. "**Will you let me pass?**"

Instantly the Moblins parted, leaving a clear path for him to pass. Keeping his eyes on the Moblins warily, The Postman started past them, Bow-Wow trotting at his side. Every Moblin craned their necks in an effort to see him as he passed and several even attempted to reach out to touch him. The dog could obviously sense The Postman's unease and anytime a Moblin reached out towards him or stepped too close, he would growl and snap at them warningly. None of the Moblins dared stand too close as he passed, the dog keeping them well at bay. When The Postman finally made it past the army, he let out a breath of relief. It was then that the Moblins began singing again. The Postman ran as fast as he could until he reached the village.

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**Reviews Make The Author Happy!**


	19. The Search For Sakon

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**Hey guys, here's chapter 19. Ugh, I really hate not having a laptop. siiiiigh. My updates are so unreliable now. :S Hopefully I can get a new one shortly so I can update when the chapters are actually done. For now, i will rely on this crappy Dell loaner. Hopefully, i'll have the next chapter posted in a few days.  
**

**********A huge thank you to my reviewers who always have such nice things to say:  
**

**Reiz16**

**ChocolateMilkLOL**

**The Empty Lord  
**

**Illusionary Path **

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Light-Sakura**

******Mikaufan101**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll try my best to have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

The Search for Sakon

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Sakon sat huddled inside a dark cave, his knees drawn up beneath his chin. He had fled as fast as he could and his first initial instinct was to hide where no one would find him. He had discovered a cave on the far side of the island and had crawled inside, just wanting to escape. The cave was completely dark and silent and Sakon couldn't believe what he'd just done. He'd just killed his only friend in an act of complete stupidity. He could still see the look of shock on The Postman's face and also the sheer amount of blood filling the fountain. Sakon knew for a fact The Postman never would have been able to survive such massive blood loss. Letting out a miserable shiver, Sakon hugged his knees to his chest.

Staring down at the sword in front of him, he noted that it was still stained with The Postman's blood. Sakon let out a gulp, staring at the quickly darkening stain beneath the sword. Before this moment, he'd found wielding a sword exhilarating, especially when the creatures he fought weren't real, but now he didn't even want to touch it. This wasn't pretend, The Postman had truly been stabbed by him and Sakon let out a miserable whine.

Why hadn't the shield blocked the attack? It had blocked everything up to that point, so why was this any different? What kind of hero-shield couldn't even stop a sword? Sakon supposed when the gods gave it to him they didn't expect him to stab The Postman with it but it was still a pretty stupid flaw.

Still staring down at the sword, Sakon couldn't bring himself to touch it. He didn't want to be a hero anymore, he just wanted to go home. He gave a hard kick to the sword and watched as it slid across the ground, falling down into the deep pit in front of him. He didn't hear it hit the bottom and hoped that it was lost forever.

Rubbing at his eyes, Sakon knew he couldn't just leave The Postman's body to rot in the fountain and let out a deep sigh. Crawling out of the cave, he stared up at the sky, noting that it was still sunny and warm and not thunder and lightning like he'd expected. He thought the gods would be tearing apart the island at what he had done but it seemed like they hadn't even noticed.

Jumping into the sky, Sakon headed back towards the desert, not looking forward to what he would find there. He knew it was only proper to bury his friend, but he didn't want to face the result of his extreme stupidity. Guilt settled itself deep within his stomach and Sakon was sure he would have been sick if he hadn't of been a ghost.

After a few minutes, the fountain came in view and Sakon gave a heavy gulp of apprehension. Landing in front of the fountain, he was disconcerted to see that there was no body or blood to be seen. He looked all around but there was no sign of The Postman. Scratching his head in confusion, he also noticed Bow-Wow was nowhere in sight. His eyes widened at a sudden realization.

"By the Goddesses! Bow-Wow ate him!" he gasped in horror. "That bloody mutt swallowed him whole!"

The thought of it made him nauseous and Sakon gagged and turned away from the fountain. The Postman was gone and he was never going to see him again; there wasn't even a body to bury. Sakon wasn't even sure he would have been able to bury him anyway due to his inability to touch things.

Suddenly feeling very weary, Sakon jumped back into the air and flew away across the island. There would be no escaping his curse now so he was destined to live out eternity on the island. Wondering what kind of life he could have now, he set out to find a quiet place away from everyone.

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The Postman had arrived back at the village and the first thing he did was return Bow-Wow home. Madame Meow-Meow was so thankful, she threw herself at him in a hug, crying and laughing all at the same time. The Postman bore it with good humour, and listened to her tearful thank yous then waved goodbye to her as she hugged the dog happily.

He didn't see any sign of Sakon in the village so he headed towards the item shop, certain The Happy Mask Salesman would know where he was. The town looked incredibly dry and it was obvious the drought was also affecting the villagers as every plant and tree was dead and shriveled. He crossed the village feeling a bit disconcerted and when he reached the shop, he was rather surprised to see The Happy Mask Salesman standing outside. He was staring up at the sun thoughtfully and The Postman wondered how that wouldn't hurt his eyes. When The Postman approached, The Happy Mask Salesman turned his eyes away from the sky and met his gaze fully. He seemed to study him a moment then gave a nod in his direction, grinning at something only he knew.

"Postman." He greeted.

"Hello, sir." The Postman stated politely. "I was wondering if you've seen Sakon?"

The Happy Mask Salesman shook his head, his eyes flitting back up to the sky. "He hasn't been here." He responded. "I imagine he is hiding himself as well as possible right now."

The Postman didn't even question how he knew about the accident at the fountain. Instead he turned his gaze to the sky, wondering what had caught the other man's attention. He could see nothing out of the ordinary and furrowed his brow. Not sure he wanted to know what could catch The Happy Mask Salesman's attention in such a way, he asked.

"Do you have any idea where I might find Sakon, sir? Where he might have gone?"

Again The Happy Mask Salesman shook his head.

The Postman let out a heavy sigh. "Why does he always have to be so difficult?"

The Happy Mask Salesman spared him a glance. "You'll get used to it."

The Postman crossed his arms. "Well, maybe I don't want to get used to it?"

The Happy Mask Salesman turned his full attention to The Postman. "You will."

Every time The Postman spoke with The Happy Mask Salesman he always got the impression he knew more than he let on. The Postman frowned and glanced up towards the sky.

"What were you looking at?" he asked, still not seeing anything unusual.

"Nothing of any importance." The Happy Mask Salesman replied, evenly. "At least not to you."

The Postman frowned at the vague answer then asked a question that had been on his mind. "What deal did Sakon make with you?"

"I do not discuss my business deals with those not directly involved." The Happy Mask Salesman replied, giving him an unapologetic smile.

The Postman had a very bad feeling about what type of deal Sakon had made but he knew The Happy Mask Salesman wasn't likely to tell him anything. Deciding to just go look for the thief, he turned away, giving The Happy Mask Salesman a polite nod. He had only taken a few steps when he heard a loud hoot from above. Pausing, he looked up.

Kaepora Gaebora flew down and landed just in front of him, creating a shower of feathers that blew all around The Postman.

"Greetings, Postman! Hoot." Kaepora Gaebora called to him. "How goes your quest?"

The Postman remembered the difficult dungeon he'd just completed as well as everything that had gone wrong in the last couple days. His expression must have shown his thoughts on that matter as Kaepora Gaebora gave him a chuckle.

"Fret not, Postman, you are doing well. Your next trial lies west in the underwater temple of the river Zora."

The Postman didn't like the sound of an underwater dungeon as he had a bit of an aversion to drowning or suffocating. Knowing he didn't have a choice in the matter if he ever wanted off the island, he let out a sigh and gave a nod.

"I need to find Sakon, do you know where he is?"

"Forget the thief, Postman, it is your destiny not his. You will do fine without him."

"I'm not going to forget about Sakon." The Postman responded, his frown becoming more prominent. "I came to this island to help him."

"Do not take offence, Postman, hoo hoot. I merely meant that you do not require his help to complete your quest. He will be more of a hindrance than a help."

"He's the one with the sword." The Postman pointed out.

"Yes, Postman, only because you would have refused to use it."

The Postman knew that if he had've been the one to receive the sword, he indeed would have refused to use it. He didn't kill as it was against his nature and that included dream monsters.

"Then I still need Sakon." The Postman countered.

Kaepora Gaebora looked like he was about to disagree but he stopped mid-word and stared over The Postman's shoulder. The Postman turned and saw The Happy Mask Salesman had approached and he was staring at the owl very intently. Kaepora Gaebora and The Happy Mask Salesman met each other's gaze directly and neither said a single word. The Postman stared between them in confusion before he remembered it had been The Happy Mask Salesman that had cursed Kaepora Gaebora in the first place. The owl gave a slow blink then spread its wings and flew off, not sparing The Postman another look. The Postman stared after him, then turned his attention back to The Happy Mask Salesman.

"You used me to curse him." he accused irritably. "Why?"

"Hmm?" HMS inquired innocently, his grin looking just a little bit too friendly.

The Postman crossed his arms. "Why did you turn Mr. Gaepora into an owl?"

The Happy Mask Salesman glanced back up to the sky for a moment. "I'm not sure what you are talking about, Postman, but that IS a strange owl, isn't it?"

The Postman had a feeling The Happy Mask Salesman wasn't about to tell him anything at all so he let out a sigh. "Are you going to keep him that way forever?" he asked.

"The owl has his own destiny; don't meddle."

"I'm going to find Sakon." The Postman said with annoyance, turning away. "I don't care what you do."

The Happy Mask Salesman didn't seem angry at his rudeness and simply gave a knowing grin as he watched him stomp away.

As The Postman headed back towards the Mysterious Woods, he didn't see the grin The Happy Mask Salesman sent after him. Chuckling to himself, The Happy Mask Salesman shook his head and entered the item shop.

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Sakon floated high above the island, feeling sluggish and depressed. He could see the island far below him, looking like a small lily pad and the ocean stretched as far as the eye could see in all directions. He had no idea where to go and simply wanted to find a spot to hide himself away for 10 or 12 years. He figured after that amount of time he might eventually grow accustomed to living a boring life on an island.

Allowing the wind to blow him to and fro much like a leaf, Sakon closed his eyes with a sigh. He allowed himself to float around aimlessly for a few minutes, having no real desire to do anything. The air was cold that high in the sky but Sakon couldn't be hurt by it and he didn't even need to breathe. He allowed himself to become lost in thought for a while before finally opening his eyes to see where he was. He was now so high, the island could barely be seen and he stared down at it thoughtfully. There was really nowhere else for him to go as he had a feeling the ocean had no end and Koholint island was the only land in the Windfish's world.

With one more heavy sigh, Sakon abruptly stopped floating and let himself plummet towards the island, not really caring where he landed. He knew the fall wouldn't hurt him and just wanted something to distract him from his thoughts. The island came closer and closer, and Sakon saw he was aimed straight for some sort of small village. Not slowing his descent in the least, Sakon watched as the ground came closer and closer. He heard several yells of surprise and he caught a glimpse of red fur just before he hit the ground with a deafening thud. Bits of rock and grass flew everywhere and Sakon blinked at the thick cloud of dust that surrounded him. Looking one way then the other, he immediately saw he had created a deep crater. Completely unhurt, he stared upwards as several hesitant faces peered down at him.

The onlookers were a variety of animals that ranged from barnyard to wild and the way they stared down at him, showed intelligence in their concerned eyes.

"Er…are you alright?" the fox asked him.

Sakon cocked his head in curiosity. That explained the red fur he'd seen.

"Do you need any help?" the horse asked him. "Are you hurt?"

Sakon shook his head still in disbelief. Could ALL animals on the island speak? Slowly getting to his feet, he looked from one animal to another. Without a word, he floated out of the crater as several of the animals gasped in surprise. Landing himself several feet away from the hole, he glanced all around himself. Five or six pleasant little cottages were in the village and everything was healthy and well-maintained; nothing at all like the rest of the island. Everything around him looked so bright and happy that Sakon couldn't help but feel confused.

"What is this place?" Sakon asked no one in particular.

"You're in the animal village." A mouse replied, shouting to be heard.

Sakon gave another glance around. "Animal village?" he questioned. "There are no humans here?"

A goat gave a shake of its head. "None. We animals all live in harmony here away from the humans."

Sakon decided he couldn't possibly find a more secluded place than this. The village was completely hidden from the outside world, surrounded by tall trees deep in the centre of the island. "Then this is where I'll stay." Sakon announced.

"Um…" the cat said rather uncertainly. "But you're a human…"

"So?"

"This is our village, meant just for us." The cat replied. "This is a peaceful place and humans like to kill and hunt. Humans are not allowed here."

"That's alright, I'll fit right in!" Sakon insisted. "I don't hunt 'cause I'm vegetarian…well, when I can be that is…Being a thief isn't easy and sometimes you don't really have a choice…"

The animals exchanged looks with one another. It was the cat who spoke up again, obviously their leader. "I'm sorry but you really won't fit in. Humans are angry and can't even accept themselves the way they are. You will cause problems."

Sakon frowned and crossed his arms. "Why won't I fit in?" Sakon asked, looking himself over for some clue. "And what do you mean that I don't accept myself the way I am? I'm awesome and love myself very much, thank you!"

The cat let out an impatient sound. "That's not what I mean."

"Is it because of the clothes?" Sakon asked, still looking himself over. "I assure you I have no problem stripping if it is! I've gone au natural before!"

As he pulled his shirt off to prove his point the animals all immediately shook their heads.

"No it's not because you choose to cover yourself." The monkey replied. "It's because you are human."

Now shirtless and in the process of working on his belt, Sakon frowned and paused. "Don't be racist; that's not a reason! I want to stay."

The animals all traded a look. They whispered amongst themselves for a minute or so then gave Sakon an appraising gaze. Sakon naturally looked like a suspicious character and the animals couldn't help but feel uneasy.

"Alright." The cat said decidedly after a moment. "You may stay as long as you don't cause trouble."

Sakon clapped his hands together. "Great, so which of you am I bunking with for the next 50 years?"

The animals frowned and exchanged another look.

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The Postman searched the former Mysterious Woods for the rest of the day but found no sign of Sakon. He didn't like having to search like a normal person and found it very inconvenient. When he began losing light as nighttime approached, he knew he wouldn't find Sakon that day. He headed back towards the village and wished he could sense the thief, but nothing on the island was real. The Windfish's presence hung heavily around the island and The Postman glanced towards the mountains thoughtfully. He wondered what type of god the Windfish was and whether he would offend him if he did succeed in waking him.

The Postman carefully avoided any and all Moblins as he traveled back to the village, not wanting a repeat of that morning's strange spectacle. The sun was just dipping behind the mountains as he reached the village and having nowhere else to go, he headed to Marin's cottage. He hesitated a long moment simply staring at the door, then knocked. There was a hesitation then the door opened, revealing Tarin. When Tarin saw who it was, he threw the door open wide and gave The Postman a large, friendly smile.

"Hero!" he greeted. "How goes your quest?"

"Fine...so far I suppose. I've been looking for Sakon, we got separated, have you seen him?"

Tarin shook his head. "I'm afraid not, Hero Postman. Marin would have mentioned it if she had of seen him. She doesn't care much for your friend."

The Postman let out a sigh causing Tarin to give him a questioning look.

"You must stay the night." Tarin told him. "Join us for supper and you can continue your search in the morning."

The Postman knew this was the logical thing to do and gave a nod. Marin pushed past her father to see who was at the door and when she saw The Postman, she let out a gasp of delight and seized him by the arm.

"Come in!" she invited, tugging him through the doorway. "You're just in time for supper!"

"Uh…"

The Postman obviously had no choice in the matter as Marin didn't even wait for a response as she dragged him inside and over to the table. She pushed him down into the empty chair and hurried away to get him a plate and The Postman watched her warily. He didn't forget what Sakon said about her being his love-interest and didn't like how overly friendly she was being with him. Neither seemed to notice his discomfort however as Tarin sat down at the head of the table and began asking about his adventures. The Postman mindlessly answered the questions, his thoughts elsewhere and eyed the plate full of roasted mushrooms suspiciously. He wasn't sure why but he had a feeling he shouldn't eat the odd, pepper-scented mushrooms and that if he did, something bad would happen to him. They didn't seem to have an effect on his hosts but he still didn't trust them. He simply claimed he wasn't hungry and didn't try so much as a bite.

Marin wouldn't stop pestering him about his personal life and whether he had a girlfriend worrying about him somewhere so eventually he stated he was tired just so he could escape her. Tarin gave him the spare bed and The Postman immediately covered himself up with sheets and pretended he was asleep so he'd be left alone. He could hear the whispered conversations of Marin and Tarin as they talked about him and he tried to tune it out, not especially caring what they were saying.

The next morning he set out at dawn to continue his search, eager to get away from the cottage. He searched all day long to no avail and once again at night he was forced to return to Marin's cottage. If it wasn't for the extreme temperatures of the desert he would have slept outside but with the conditions so extreme, he chose to stay in the safety of the cottage. He avoided any mushrooms cooked with the meals and Marin simply laughed at him, thinking he was being fussy.

Every day he went out to search for Sakon but he couldn't find him. He searched the entire Mysterious woods, the swamp and even the beach with no sign of the thief. He explored new areas of the island he hadn't yet been and crossed fields, mountains, rivers and even came across an enormous castle. As days stretched into weeks, he began to feel a bit discouraged. Had Sakon left the island? Had something bad happened to him? Was he even still alive?

The Postman found what must have been the entrance of the next dungeon far out in the bay but he ignored it completely as he continued searching. He came across an enormous graveyard that stretched on and on and The Postman got an uneasy feeling about the whole thing. Hundreds and hundreds of tombstones stretched as far as he could see, and The Postman wondered how many there actually were. Were these the graves of people who had failed as heroes? There were so many graves that The Postman knew it couldn't have been from the village. He found himself reading the names on the stones, hoping he wouldn't find Sakon's name there. He didn't recognize any of the names but he kept reading them, getting a bad feeling about the spooky graveyard.

At the very edge of the graveyard beside an old rundown house, The Postman found Sakon's name. The Postman let out a heavy gulp as he stared at the marker and hesitantly reached out a hand to touch it. The grave was rough beneath his hand and very real. It seemed real but The Postman still knew there had to be some sort of mistake. Sakon was a ghost. How could a ghost die?

It was then that he noticed the next stone had his own name engraved on it. To his relief, he saw both graves were empty, large mounds of dirt sitting beside the open holes as if waiting for their occupants. The two graves seemed to have been recently dug and The Postman slowly backed up a step. Who dug these graves and why were their names already written on them? The Postman glanced all around but the only sound came from the three crows who stared at him from the tops of a scraggly tree.

Both Sakon's and his birthday were scratched onto the graves but the end dates were blurred and impossible to make out. As The Postman stared at the two graves, he realized the end date was starting to come into focus, the numbers becoming clearer and clearer. He quickly looked away, not wanting to know. His gaze settled on the old decrepit house and he wondered if the person living there was responsible for the graves.

Hopping over a small crevice, he walked up the uneven cobblestone path towards the front door. He gave a knock to the door and immediately the crows who had been watching him began to caw almost as if they were trying to warn him. The Postman looked up at them just as the door swung open of its own accord. The hinges groaned and squeaked in protest and The Postman stared into the dark house uncertainly.

"…hello?"

"Come in, dear, you're letting in a draft." A very old, scratchy voice ordered.

The Postman, ever being polite, stepped inside and closed the door after him. He could just make out the shape of an old women standing by the window, stirring something in a very large pot. The house smelled of dust and spices but was too dark to see properly. The woman turned her head towards him and he saw a glint of green in the darkness, her eyes reflecting the light like a cat's.

"There's a very peculiar smell coming from you." She observed. "It smells like powdered mushrooms and old magic."

The Postman may have been offended if he hadn't remembered the magic powder The Happy Mask Salesman had given him.

"Yes, ma'am." He acknowledged.

"What is it you want?" the woman asked him. "I am very old and am not much help to anyone these days."

"Why are you in the dark?" The Postman asked in concern. "You could trip over something and hurt yourself."

The woman laughed. "I am blind, young one." She answered in amusement. "It matters not to me if I light a lamp."

"…oh." The Postman responded, hoping he hadn't come across as insensitive. "Sorry."

She continued stirring her pot for a moment then said. "You're curious about the graves beside my house."

"Yes, ma'am." The Postman answered, wondering how a blind woman knew of the gravestones.

"Eventually everyone finds the way to their grave; it is inevitable." She told him. "Some graves remain empty for a very long time but in the end, each and every one of them will be filled."

The Postman squinted in the darkness at the old woman but he couldn't make out more than her vague shape. He felt rather chilled suddenly and rubbed at his arms, deciding it would probably be best if he just left. He had a feeling there was something very wrong with this house. Turning around, he felt for the doorknob but couldn't seem to find it. All he felt was smooth wall. As he fumbled around in confusion, the woman's voice rang out again.

"You seek your friend." she stated.

The Postman abruptly stopped and turned around. "You know where he is?" he asked hopefully.

There was a clink as the woman's spoon hit the side of the pot as she stopped stirring. "I do." She confirmed.

Once again, The Postman wondered how a blind woman would know this but didn't question it. "Where is he?"

"I will tell you if you do something for me in return." She stated, her voice sounding a little bit too innocent.

"…what do you want?" The Postman asked, dreading the answer.

"Not much." The woman assured him. "These old bones get very cold this time of year…"

The Postman raised an eyebrow. "In the summer?"

"Don't sass me." The woman warned him. "All I want you to do for me in return is light the fireplace and the two torches near the door. That should warm this drafty old place right up!"

The Postman had been expecting some sort of horrible task so he was actually rather surprised. "That's it?"

"Why? Did you want there to be more?" the old woman asked. "I can arrange that if you want."

"No, no, that's fine." The Postman said hurriedly. "I'll light them for you."

The Postman felt along the walls for the torches and found one on either side of where the door should have been. Knowing it was going to be incredibly hard to find his flint in the dark, he felt inside the backpack. As he fumbled around inside it for a minute or so, the old woman began to become impatient.

"What is taking you so long?" she demanded. "A young thing like you shouldn't have any problem lighting a simple fire!"

The Postman frowned. "I was looking for my flint." he responded.

The woman let out a snort. "Flint? Why use flint when you have magic powder? A sprinkle of it will instantly light any torch or fireplace."

The Postman paused a moment then felt inside the backpack for the bag of powder. Finding it, he pulled it out and grabbed a pinch out of the bag. Sprinkling some into the nearest torch, it instantly sprung to life, the flames high and hot.

"That's it!" the woman encouraged. "Now the other one!"

The Postman lit the second torch then turned around just as the woman let out a relieved sigh.

"Ah, that feels much better already!" she commented.

The light from the torches didn't quite reach her and she was still bathed completely in darkness. He caught the sight of a grey coloured arm as she shifted where she stood but he still couldn't make her out clearly.

"Quickly, light the fireplace!" she urged. "I'm still very cold!"

Keeping an eye on her warily, The Postman crossed the room to the large fireplace beside her. As he knelt beside it and held out a handful of the powder to toss it in, the woman spoke up.

"Look far to the west in the animal village. You'll find your friend there."

"Oh, thank you, ma'am." The Postman answered, turning his gaze to the task at hand.

He dropped the powder into the fireplace and immediately there was a pop as the wood within it lit. There was a deep, satisfied sigh from behind him and The Postman turned around to get his first look at the old woman. There was no one there.

Furrowing his brow, The Postman glanced all around the lit room. "Er...hello?"

There was no reply. The entire house was dusty and covered in cobwebs and it was obvious no one had lived there for a very, very long time. Standing up, The Postman peered into the large cast-iron caldron the woman had been working with. It was full of dust and nothing more.

The Postman's gaze fell on the door and saw it had reappeared and was now slightly ajar. Wanting to leave the house very badly, he headed towards it. Despite himself, he kept glancing over his shoulder as he left, feeling like he was being watched. Once he was safely outside, he let out a breath of relief and hurried away from the house. The crows above him in the trees seemed to be cackling at him but he paid them no mind. If the old woman was telling the truth then he knew where to find Sakon. Adjusting the backpack, he began hurrying to the west.

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**Reviews Make The Author Happy!**


	20. Search For The Windfish

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**Hey guys, here's chapter 20. Okay, I really have no excuse this time. Lol I have spent the last week watching Supernatural and am now in the third season. I probably should have been diligently writing but I was lazy. I did some other writing besides this chapter though which I`ll likely post in the next couple days. I finished chapter 2 of my Ace Ventura story and I also have the first chapter of my new Zelda story 'Ganondorf's Mask: A Twist in Time' finished. This is going to be my next big Zelda story and it stars Ganondorf and The Happy Mask Salesman. Hopefully both will be up by Thursday or Friday. :)  
**

**********A huge thank you to my reviewers who always have such nice things to say:  
**

**Reiz16**

**ChocolateMilkLOL**

**The Empty Lord  
**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Light-Sakura**

******TooLazyToLogin**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll try my best to have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

Search for the Windfish

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The Postman stepped into the strange wooded area and glanced all around himself in confusion. In the entire desert, this was the only patch of land that was still alive, the trees tall, green and healthy. It was like an odd oasis, completely unaffected by the outside world.

The trees above him were bent, creating a tunnel-like enclosure, the air feeling still and cool. It was obviously autumn in this section of the island as leaves of all kind fell around him in a shower of colours. As he walked along, he felt there was something definitely amiss. There were no sounds at all besides the crunching of the leaves underneath his boots and he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched.

When the feeling persisted, he paused momentarily and looked at the trees surrounding him. There was complete silence with not even the sound of insects in the air. Nothing seemed out of place but why was there no sound? He took a few more steps then paused again when he couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. He couldn't see or hear anything following him so he hesitantly walked a bit further, watching his surroundings warily.

He passed by a particularly large, gnarled tree then stopped as there was a snap of twigs from behind him. He spun around just in time to see a piece of wood smash down on his skull. There was a searing pain, then everything went black as he collapsed to the ground.

A monkey stepped out from behind the tree and tossed the club aside as it approached The Postman. It gave him a poke in the chest and when it was sure he was unconscious, it gave a loud whistle. Instantly, animals of all kinds jumped out of their hiding spots and stared down at their catch.

"What do you think he wants?" asked the fox.

"I don't know." the monkey replied. "But we'd better bring him to cat."

The others nodded their agreement and each grabbed a bit of clothing. As they dragged The Postman off towards their village, none noticed the figure watching silently from the trees.

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When The Postman finally awoke, he was quite disconcerted to discover he was tied up. His head was throbbing and he had a hard time focussing his vision. Looking around he saw he was in what could only be the animal village and was surprised he'd missed it before during all his searches. The village was almost double the size of the human village and in comparison looked like paradise. The plants and trees were lush and green and a small stream wove around the outskirts of the village cutting it off from the outside world. When the old woman had told him to look in the animal village, he'd assumed that was simply the name of it but now he saw it was indeed owned by animals. The moment he shifted and opened his eyes, every animal turned to stare at him and The Postman got the very distinct impression he was not welcome.

He pulled at the vines holding him to the tree but couldn't loosen them at all.

The animals continued staring silently then parted for a large fluffy orange cat to pass. It approached The Postman slowly, its movements confident and eyes narrowed to small yellow slits.

"What is your business here?" the cat demanded. "This is no place for humans."

The Postman looked down at the cat in surprise. He definitely wasn't expecting it to speak but he had seen much stranger things lately so he supposed talking animals really weren't that odd.

"I'm looking for my friend." The Postman replied. "Have you seen him?"

The cat gave him a suspicious glare. "How can a human be friends with one of us? Human's don't befriend animals. They're all savages."

"My friend is human as well." The Postman told the cat. "His name is Sakon."

"How would I know of where this 'friend' of yours is?" the cat demanded, clearly disgusted with him. "You all look the same to me."

"Sakon's kind of hard to miss." The Postman responded, again pulling at the vines. "He's tall, thin, bald and has an extremely loud mouth. If I know him, he's likely already insulted all of you."

The cat seemed to wince.

The Postman immediately recognized the expression. "You've met him." He said decidedly.

"Yes, I know of whom you seek." The cat answered hesitantly. "He is indeed… unusual..."

The Postman let out a breath of relief. "I've been looking for him!" he told the cat. "Please, where is he?"

"I'm not like you humans." the cat informed him. "I don't betray those who trust me. It is none of your business where he is. If he wanted you to know where he was, he would have told you."

"There was an accident." The Postman explained. "He thought he hurt me, but I'm alright. Please just tell me where he is?"

The cat let out a snort. "Lies. You won't fool me with your trickery. I gave him permission to stay and although he isn't one of us, I won't betray him."

The Postman decided to try a different approach. "Do you really want to spend eternity with him?" he questioned. "He can't die you know, so he'll be with you until you die as well as your children and their children after them."

Once again the cat winced as it thought about that. "...I'll tell you but you have to promise to take him with you and to never let him return." The cat stated.

The Postman nodded. "Deal."

The cat nodded then turned its gaze to one of the cottages. "He's in there." he said as he turned to the monkey. "Untie him but keep a close eye on him."

The monkey did as it was told and untied the vines, releasing The Postman without a word.

"Thank you." The Postman said, turning to head towards the cottage.

"Be warned…he's gone a bit strange in the head…" the cat stated.

The Postman frowned at the warning, his worry returning tenfold. What had happened to Sakon in the time they were apart?

He entered the cottage then immediately stopped at the sight that met him. Sakon, who was stark-naked, was seated in the middle of the floor creating what looked like hundreds of little leaf-balls. There was an enormous mound of them around him and he didn't seem to notice The Postman. The Postman quickly averted his gaze and focussed on a spot above Sakon`s head.

"Sakon?" he questioned. "What are you doing?"

The Postman heard a slight shift of movement but there was no answer.

"Sakon?"

"You've finally come to haunt me, haven't you." Sakon accused.

The Postman glanced back at him. "What?" he asked, not sure if he'd heard correctly.

Sakon wasn't even looking at him, continuing what he was doing without pause. The Postman approached and knelt down beside him. He watched Sakon's slow, careful hand movement as he rolled the leaves into a balls then asked.

"What are you doing?"

"Practising." Sakon responded, still not looking up. "I'm getting better."

It took The Postman a moment to understand what Sakon meant. Before, he hadn't been able to touch most objects and now he was easily manipulated the leaves any way he wanted.

"How did you learn to do that?" he asked.

"Practice." Sakon responded impatiently. "How long are you going to haunt me for?"

The Postman gave him an odd look. "Sakon…I'm not dead."

Sakon let out a snort. "Yeah, right. I saw you bleed out; you're dead."

"You didn't see me bleed out, you ran away as soon as you stabbed me." The Postman pointed out.

"I didn't run away…I simply chose to leave." Sakon responded unconvincingly.

"I'm not dead." The Postman repeated.

"Just go away." Sakon ordered with a sigh. "Being haunted is a big turn off to girls."

"Sakon, I'm not dead!" The Postman insisted.

"That's exactly what a ghost would say." Sakon retorted. "I already feel bad enough about what happened, I don't need you constantly reminding me. Now please go away."

Sakon tossed one of the leaf-balls at him and it bounced off The Postman's forehead quite hard. Sakon's eyes widened as The Postman rubbed at his head where the it had hit.

"Oh...you're real." Sakon commented in surprise. "Huh. I wasn't expecting that."

Sakon stared at him a moment then his expression turned to one of pure fury. He whipped another leaf-ball at The Postman's face as hard as he could and was pleased when it hit the other man hard on the nose.

"Sakon!" The Postman protested, rubbing at his nose.

Sakon scowled at him and threw another. "You bastard!" he yelled. "I thought I killed you and here you were faking the whole time!"

"Sakon, stop it!" The Postman ordered, raising his hands to block the careening leaf-balls.

"You made me think I murdered you, you ass!"

"I didn't fake anything! You ran off before you saw what happened!"

"I did not! I saw you 'die'!"

The Postman dodged another projectile then said. "That fountain we found was a Great Fairy Fountain. She healed me and you were nowhere in sight. I've been looking for you for weeks!"

Sakon threw one last leaf-ball then paused. "Great Fairy?"

The Postman nodded.

Sakon thought about that for a moment and realized that it did make sense. He should have known that a mysterious fountain in the middle of a desert would end up being a Great Fairy Fountain. He felt a bit stupid not having thought of it. "Hmm, Great Fairy...was she hot?"

The Postman rolled his eyes and Sakon gave him an amused smile. "I forgot. You're the last person anyone should ask about girls."

"Please just put on some clothes."

Sakon looked one way then the another, seeming a bit perplexed. "…I can't remember what I did with them…"

"How could you lose your clothes?" The Postman demanded impatiently. "The cottage is the size of a bedroom."

Sakon gave a helpless shrug. "Dunno. I haven't really thought about clothes in a few weeks…I remember tossing them somewhere, but I don't know where…"

The Postman gave a resigned sigh. "Well, can you please look?" he asked. "Unless you're planning on spending the rest of the quest naked…"

Sakon gave him a smirk. "Doesn't bother me, darling, how about you?"

"Find your clothes."

Sakon simply shook his head with an over-dramatic sigh. "Even death hasn't made you any more fun; you're hopeless."

"I didn't die!"

"Whatever you say, darling." Sakon replied, getting to his feet with a lazy stretch.

The Postman quickly averted his gaze again. Sakon gave a snicker at his reaction, seeming his same old self again, and began kicking aside piles of leaves and paper in search of his clothes. The clothes were spread from one side of the room to the other and when he was done, he was still missing his socks. Scratching his head in thought, he floated up to the rafters and found them there. Humming to himself as he got dressed, Sakon felt genuinely relieved and glad he hadn't hurt The Postman. The thought that they could still find a way home renewed his hopes and he felt eager to get going.

"There!" Sakon announced to The Postman, who was still staring very intently at the wall. "I'm ready!"

The Postman glanced over his shoulder and was relieved that Sakon was dressed. Looking Sakon up and down, he noticed something missing almost immediately.

"Where's your sword?"

Sakon visibly winced causing The Postman to become suspicious.

"Sakon?" he questioned.

Sakon scuffed at the floor with the toe of one of his boots, looking rather sheepish. "Umm…it clashed with my outfit?"

The Postman narrowed his eyes. "Did you pawn it?"

"No, I didn't `pawn` it!" Sakon snapped back defensively.

"Then what happened to it?"

Sakon paused a moment before muttering something unintelligible. The Postman cocked his head, not quite able to hear him.

"What?"

"Ikickeditdownabottomlesspit!" Sakon spouted out as fast as he could.

It took The Postman a moment to decipher that, but when he did, his eyes widened. "You did what?!"

Sakon had the good grace to look thoroughly contrite and embarrassed. "Um…well…I thought I killed you and it was covered in your blood, so I…uh…got rid of it."

"Can you get it out of the pit?"

"What part of bottomless didn't you understand?" Sakon asked. "That thing is loooong gone!"

The Postman gave Sakon a 'look'.

"Geez, sorry." Sakon grumbled. "Din forbid I ever have an emotion."

The Postman let out another sigh. Leave it to Sakon to throw away the only weapon the gods gave them. He couldn't bring himself to be angry or even annoyed however since Sakon had only done it because he thought he was dead.

"What are we supposed to do?" The Postman wondered out loud. "I know where the next dungeon is but I imagine we'll need the sword…"

"Maybe the Blowfish will give you another one?"

The Postman considered it. "The Windfish doesn't really seem like an easy god to get along with…he seems to enjoy inconveniencing people."

"Well, what do we have to lose in trying?"

The Postman gave a shrug. "He's asleep; I doubt he'll answer us."

Sakon grinned. "Nothing can sleep when I'm around!" he bragged. "If I can wake you up, then I can wake anything up!"

So far The Postman's stay on the island had been anything but pleasant and he knew very well the gods were the ones to blame. He getting incredibly homesick and now he was willing to try anything. He gave Sakon a nod.

Sakon wasn't expecting him to agree so easily and hesitated. "…really?"

The Postman nodded again.

"I thought you were worried about godly wrath and all that?"

"At this point, I don't really care." The Postman answered honestly.

Sakon gave an eager clap of the hands. "Okay, then, let's go fight a Blowfish!"

"Sakon, we've been over this. I don't think we're supposed to fight him."

"Whatever." Sakon responded, rolling his eyes. "You know this isn't going to be easy. I just know there will be a fight!"

"The Windfish is inside an egg, how can he possibly fight us?"

Sakon gave him an odd look. "An egg?" he repeated. "Wait a sec…how could you know that? You know where he is?"

The Postman nodded. "I found the egg while looking for you. He's at the top of one of the mountains."

"If he's just an egg, then how do you know it's him?"

"I just do." The Postman answered. "He and I are the only real things in this dream. I've sensed where he was since the moment I arrived."

Sakon simply stared at him. "You mean we didn't have to go through the dungeons?! We could have just skipped it all because you already knew where he was?!"

"Nothing is ever that easy." The Postman pointed out. "The gods obviously want us to play their game first before they'll consider helping us."

"Some game." Sakon scoffed, thinking of the dragon. "The Windfish is a dick."

"I don't think it will work, but there's no harm in trying." The Postman stated thoughtfully. "If he wants us to continue on this quest nonsense, he'll have to provide you with some sort of weapon."

There was in fact a lot of harm that could be gained in trying, but The Postman tried not to think of that. Vengeful gods and goddesses weren't exactly on his priority list at the moment.

Sakon frowned and shook his head. "Not me, darling. I've had more than enough blood for this adventure. It's your turn to get the weapon."

The Postman simply stared at him. "What are you talking about?" he demanded. "You're not going to fight anymore?"

"I stabbed my best friend with a sword and watched him gush out blood into a fountain." Sakon replied. "I thought I killed you and I want nothing more to do with killing things."

"Sakon, I told you, I'm fine!" The Postman insisted.

"No." Sakon said stubbornly. "Everyone keeps saying you're the hero, so you wield the sword!"

The Postman furrowed his brow at this predicament. "I don't kill." He stated. "You know this."

"Not my problem." Sakon answered.

The Postman could feel a headache coming on and rubbed at his temple. He'd only been reunited with Sakon for a few minutes and already the thief was irritating him. Dismissing the situation for the moment in favour of keeping the peace, he was certain Sakon would change his mind.

"Let's just go." He suggested.

"Fine by me." Sakon stated. "It smells like a barnyard here anyway."

The moment they left the cottage, they saw the entire village of animals were gathered waiting for them. When they saw Sakon following after The Postman, seemingly leaving, every animal looked visibly relieved. They parted to allow them passage and Sakon strode past them, oblivious to the looks he received. Several of the more fierce animals hissed or growled at him as he passed and The Postman gave them an uncertain look. The hostility wasn't directed at him but he still got the impression they wanted them gone. What had Sakon done to make himself that hated?

When they finally left the animal village and were back out in the desert, The Postman relaxed and turned his attention to the mountains looming in the distance. Sakon was whistling jauntily as they walked along, seemingly happy and content for the moment. Sakon looked him up and down curiously for a few minutes then voiced an observation.

"You need a haircut; you're starting to look a bit shaggy."

The Postman self-consciously raised a hand to his hair, knowing it had grown quite a bit over the past few weeks. He was used to being obsessively neat over his appearance so this only emphasized his want to go home.

Sakon's gaze settled on his Pegasus Boots and his eyes widened.

"What did you do to your boots?!" he demanded. "They're all mutilated!"

The Postman looked down where he'd sewn the Roc's feathers onto the heal of each boot.

"I combined them." He explained. "It was inconvenient having to hold the Roc's feathers every time I needed to use them. Now I have my hands free."

"Those items were worth a fortune and you cut them all up and spliced them together?!" Sakon asked, clearly horrified.

The Postman nodded. "Yes."

Sakon frowned at him, obviously having a very strong opinion on the matter but he resisted commenting further and let it drop.

"Moron." He muttered, turning his eyes back to the mountains.

They only travelled a few minutes before they stopped at the sight of a Moblin army blocking the way ahead of them. Sakon cursed at the bad luck but The Postman simply let out a sigh, looking resigned. He didn't stop walking towards them and Sakon tried to grab a hold of him to stop him. Although he'd been practicing with his powers, he couldn't seem to concentrate enough to touch him and his hand went right through The Postman.

"What are you doing?" he demanded. "You don't have a weapon!"

"It's fine." The Postman told him, not looking very happy at the moment. "You'll see why in a moment."

Sakon had learned to trust The Postman's judgment on most things but was still wary as they approached the army. The moment the Moblins caught sight of The Postman, they immediately began singing their praises, loudly and very off-key. Sakon's eyes got very very wide and he looked somewhat terrified.

"By the goddesses!" he exclaimed. "What is that horrible noise they're making?! I think my ears are going to bleed!"

The Postman gave another sigh. "They're singing."

Sakon`s eyes widened further. "…why?"

The Postman hesitated. "Er…they're singing to me…"

If it was possible, Sakon's eyes got even wider. "What? Why? No they're not, you're lying!"

The Postman wished he was lying. "They think I'm here to release them from their oppression. The Great Moblin has apparently been telling them stories about me…"

There was a long, tense couple of minutes as they neared the army and Sakon seemed incapable of speech for once in his life. He simply stared at the Moblins with a somewhat awed expression, taking in every oddity. When they reached the army, it parted for them and the song came to an end.

"Praise the brave one!" the Moblins cheered as he passed. "Honour the hero of our clan!"

The rest of the Moblins cheered at The Postman and made no effort to stop him, shouting encouragements and praise. Sakon, surprisingly enough, let his expression stay neutral and remained silent as they pressed through the army and The Postman found that odd more than anything. He never said one single word to The Postman or about the situation in general. Once they were clear of the Moblins and they sound of their singing and cheering faded away did The Postman question him.

"…Sakon?" he asked.

Sakon stopped walking and looked away from him. "…I just have one thing to say to you." He replied, his voice still neutral.

Sakon then spun around and burst into song, his cheeky grin making The Postman relax. "Praise my mighty heroOoooOo! He sang loudly. "The prrride of the zeroOoOoooos!"

The Postman simply shook his head as Sakon continued singing as loudly as he could. The thief's eyes were twinkling in mischief and he obviously had no intention of stopping anytime soon. As they continued on their way, Sakon serenaded him and The Postman pretended he didn't notice. Sakon never seemed to get out of breath and the lyrics got sillier and sillier as the time went on. The Postman found no matter how hard he tried, he couldn`t ignore it. As Sakon sang something about a stamp being the symbol of virginity, The Postman couldn't help but laugh in amusement. Sakon instantly cut off the song.

"Aha!" he cried out triumphantly. "I have succeeded!"

The Postman raised an eyebrow in question but Sakon didn't seem to notice. "So, what is with your new found religion? Did you start some sort of cult while I was gone?"

"I didn't do anything!" The Postman insisted. "They did that all on their own! They think I'm a hero…"

"Well, according to everyone, you are supposed to be one." Sakon pointed out.

"But I'm not."

"There's no explaining these things to stupid people or in this case stupid Moblins. Just let them think you're Mr. Wonderful. They're not trying to hurt you so that's a bonus, right?"

"I liked them better when they were trying to kill me."

Sakon gave a shrug. "May I ask you a serious question?"

The Postman was loathe to think of what it was but waved for him to go ahead.

"How do I join the religion of The Postman?"

"You can't." The Postman responded. "It's by special invitation only. No thieves allowed and you need to know the secret handshake."

Sakon snickered. "It still catches me by surprise when you actually tell a joke." He said. "You're such a bore most of the time."

"This is going to take too long." The Postman stated, changing the subject as he looked at the mountains in the far distance. "How fast can you follow me?"

Sakon shrugged. "Shouldn't be a problem, I don't get tired."

The Postman nodded and gave a slight stretch, preparing himself to run. He took off at a jog and sped up as he ran along, going faster and faster, the Pegasus Boots making him feel as light as air. Sakon wasn't expecting him to go quite that fast but managed to keep up with him, pushing himself to his limits.

"Those boots are amazing!" Sakon shouted to him above the wind. "Even if you did butcher them! Too bad they're not real…"

The Postman didn't answer, all of his concentration on his running. The mountains came steadily closer and when they were at the base, The Postman leaped over the rocks blocking the mountain's staircase, skidding to a stop at the base. Sakon glanced down at the boots, the Roc's feathers still twitching from the jump.

"Okay, I'll admit it's pretty cool how you can use the speed with the Roc's feathers." He commented. "Very useful."

The Postman wasn't even out of breath yet and turned his gaze to the staircase. "The egg's at the top."

Sakon glanced up the seemingly endless staircase leading up the side of the mountain. "…am I ever glad I don't have to walk up that…"

The Postman started up without a word and Sakon floated after him, quite smug over the fact The Postman had to take the stairs like a normal person. Well, a normal person who had magical boots that is. The Postman didn't run as fast as he could, trying to avoid tripping, and it took him quite a while to make it to the very top. The only thing on the top of the mountain was an enormous nest with the largest egg either had ever seen. The egg was pale blue in colour and had several colourful spots littering it. Sakon let out a low whistle at the size of it and floated over.

"Fancy having a really big omelet?" he asked The Postman with a grin.

"I think I'll pass, thank you."

Sakon floated all around the egg, looking at it from all angles then gave a thoughtful frown. "Why is the Blowfish inside an egg, anyway? I thought fish were born out of the rain?"

The Postman gave a blink. "What?" he asked in disbelief. "Born out of the rain?"

Sakon didn't notice the look. "Yeah, like most fish just come down with the rain, don't they? That's how they get in lakes and stuff?"

The Postman wasn't even sure how to touch that one. "Um…no. They come from eggs…"

Sakon crinkled his nose. "Huh. When I was a kid my uncle told me they come down from the rain when I asked him where baby fish came from…"

The Postman was amused but didn't let it show. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe he didn't want to have 'the talk' with you and lied?"

Sakon hesitated as he thought that through. "Oh. That makes much more sense then. I suppose if I had of stayed in school, I would have learned that…"

Sakon's cheeks were a bit red and he quickly changed the subject. "Okay then, let's wake this thing up!"

The Postman approached the egg and knocked on it gently. "Mr. Windfish?" he called. "Sir?"

The egg stayed silent and still.

"Don't knock like a girl." Sakon ordered. "Pound on the thing!"

The Postman knocked good and hard on the side of the egg and called out once more. "Sir, if you can hear us, we need to speak with you!"

There was no answer.

Sakon let out a snort. "Here, let me show you how it's done!"

Sakon backed up as far as he could go, eying the egg like it was an enemy he was about to tackle.

"Sakon…what are doing?"

"I'm going to push it down the stairs!" Sakon announced. "Let him sleep through that!"

The Postman's eyes widened. "Don't you dare!" he protested just as Sakon threw himself at the egg.

Sakon flew at it full force then to both his and The Postman's surprise he went right through the shell and fell awkwardly inside the egg. The Postman stared at the smooth and quiet surface of the egg. There was no sign of the thief and he gave a hesitant knock to the shell.

"Sakon?"

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	21. Inside The Windfish's Egg

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**Hey guys, here's chapter 21. This is probably the weirdest chapter i have ever written. I suppose, what else do you expect when it's about Sakon? lol Not much left of this story, we're now in the homestretch! There's probably three chapters or so left! :) Once this one is finished, i'm going to be focusing primarily on my Ganondorf/Majora's Mask story. I hope you enjoy it!  
**

**********A huge thank you to my reviewers who always have such nice things to say:  
**

**Mikaufan101**

**ChocolateMilkLOL**

**The Empty Lord  
**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Light-Sakura**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll try my best to have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

Inside The Windfish's egg

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Sakon floated in the darkness, feeling completely disconcerted. Quickly realizing what had happened, he reached towards the egg's shell but all he found was more darkness. Sakon glanced one way then the other, confused about where he had ended up. Why was the inside of the egg so much bigger than the outside?

"Um...hello?" Sakon called out to the darkness. "Anyone there? HelloOoOoOoO!"

His voice echoed loudly but there was no reply. Reaching out ahead blindly, he found nothing, the entire area around him empty.

"HelloOoOoOoOoOoOo?!" Sakon called a second time. "Can anyone hear me? Jihiro?"

Far off in the distance, he heard a shift of movement. He turned towards the noise, still unable to see an inch in front of himself. "Jihiro?"

There was a distinct slithering sound of scales rubbing together as whatever it was approached him.

"Okay...definitely not Jihiro!" Sakon commented. "Hello? Who's there?"

The sound was getting nearer and Sakon could tell whatever was approaching was absolutely enormous.

"Er...are you the Blowfish?" Sakon asked uncertainly. "I didn't mean to just barge in..."

"I am not The Windfish." replied a cool and collected voice.

"Oh." Sakon said with a frown. "Then who are you?"

The creature shifted closer. "I am Parasite."

Sakon let out a rude snort. "Parasite?! Your parents named you Parasite? They must have really loved you..."

Sakon felt smooth, cold scales brush past his arm and he visibly shivered, not expecting the contact. He heard some more shifting.

"I am Parasite in both name and body for I devour dreams. I live in this dream, The Windfish's masterpiece, and even he cannot stop me." Parasite informed him. "I do not understand why he puts so much faith in you little humans. Your power is nothing compared to mine."

Sakon was intrigued but unimpressed by the creature's claim. "Says the disembodied voice in the dark." he challenged. "If you think you're so 'almighty' then why do you hide in the dark like a cockroach?"

Parasite let out a low hiss. "You know not to whom you speak."

"I'm not afraid of the dark." Sakon replied easily with a shrug. "I'm a thief; I spend most of my life in the darkness. A simple voice isn't enough to scare me."

"You should be afraid.." Parasite told him, sweeping over him once more. "You never know what might be lurking in the dark, waiting for you...reaching for you...wanting your blood."

Sakon felt more scales touch his arm and he shied away. "I've told you." Sakon said impatiently. "I'm a thief, everything wants me dead. The amount of allies I have would probably fit on one hand if I counted them. What makes a cockroach think it can scare me?"

There was another angry hiss. "I am not a cockroach!"

"You sound like one." Sakon pointed out. "And you like to scuttle around in the dark. I think you're a cockroach just trying to be impressive."

Sakon was caught off guard when something thick and scaly hit him hard across the face.

"Ah!" Sakon cried out in surprise, instinctively clapping a hand to his face.

"You are beginning to annoy me, thief." Parasite informed him. "That is not a wise decision on your part."

Sakon rubbed at his cheek. "Cheat." he accused. "Attacking me when I can't see you!"

"It would make no difference if you could see me." Parasite said calmly. "Either way I'm going to consume you."

"I'll be the judge of that." Sakon muttered. "You're a coward that attacks from the dark!"

"This notion that you have of being able to fight me is pointless." Parasite said. "You are minuscule compared to the power I hold."

Sakon wasn't sure why, but he felt pretty confident that the creature in front of him was something pathetic. If he could get some sort of light, he was sure the creature's allusion of power would shatter. "You're only saying that!" Sakon yelled. "You never would have dared show your face outside of this egg!"

"In that, you're mistaken." Parasite told him. "I've been watching you since you first arrived on the island. You humans are no threat to me."

"You've been watching me?!" Sakon demanded, instantly thinking of everything questionable he'd done since his arrival. "That is really creepy. It's nothing personal but I don't think you're my type...well, you're probably not my type...what do you look like?"

Sakon was promptly smacked in the face again.

"Ow!" Sakon whined, rubbing at his abused cheek. "Quit doing that, you sneak!"

"Quiet, human!" Parasite warned, its voice taking on an edge. "You will show me respect! I am the destroyer of gods and their dreams. I rule this world and will eventually consume everything! You are just an annoyance."

"Greater things than you have tried to shut me up." Sakon said. "And I thought the Blowfish ruled this world? Where is he?"

"The Windfish sleeps." Parasite replied. "And while he has been sleeping, I've been slowly burrowing into this world. I've been consuming it for a long time and now not even he can stop me. I'm too deeply imbedded in both his mind and his dreams. To remove me would kill him and his dreams."

Sakon began to feel a bit uneasy. There was something in this creature's tone that sounded genuine and completely confident. If Parasite was telling the truth, then it was a lot more powerful than he'd originally thought. "...what are you?"

"I am Parasite."

"Show me." Sakon ordered. "If you're so powerful then stop hiding in the shadows!"

"Seeing me will only make your death much worse."

Sakon crossed his arms. "Show me."

"Mmmmm, your fear is exhilarating." Parasite crooned. "Killing you will bring me much satisfaction."

"That's not fear you're sensing, it's my powerful libido." Sakon lied. "Now stop being such a coward and show yourself!"

There was a hissing laugh. "You're a fool. Your Post-friend should have left you to rot."

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard that one before." Sakon told it. "Believe me when I say there isn't an insult I haven't already been called. Now show me!"

"You are also a liar." Parasite commented. "You're terrified; I can feel your entire body trembling."

"That's just anticipation." Sakon lied.

Sakon felt Parasite push past him once more and he was almost bowled over from the force.

"You will make a fine meal; rarely do I get to taste real flesh. Hundreds of heroes have been devoured in my lifetime and soon, you too will become part of me."

"Naw," Sakon said dismissively. "You don't want to eat me, I'd probably give you mouth herpes or something. You have no idea where I've been."

Ignoring him, Parasite brushed past him once more, this time more aggressively. "Are you certain you want to see me before your death?"

"Uh...yeah?"

"Very well, I've been known to give last requests if the mood strikes me."

"Wait a sec...last request? Can I request that you don't eat me?"

"No."

"Oh, well, fine then. I guess I choose for you to show yourself."

Sakon still held a small hope that Parasite was simply a weakling hiding in the dark, but he had a sinking feeling that Parasite was exactly what he claimed.

"I will do as you ask, but you'll regret it."

Thousands of tiny green specks began appearing all around him like fireflies and Sakon watched with interest. A dull green light emitted from the specks and were quickly growing in intensity. Sakon squinted, trying to make out his surroundings but he couldn't see much in the dull light.

"I still can't see!" Sakon complained. "What kind of lousy last request is this?"

There was a shift of movement and more and more of the glowing lights began appearing. The tiny dots moved all around him like a circuit and began joining together, creating a long, string-like bead of light. The strings of green light surrounded him like a net and as the light got brighter and brighter, everything began coming into focus.

Sakon caught a glimpse of pale, white scales surrounding the glowing stream and he suddenly realized the light was coming from something alive. The beads of light were not coming from fireflies, it was radiating from a very, very long, glowing worm. A worm so enormous that it was all he could see in every direction as it coiled and squirmed around him. Sakon stared at it in complete revulsion.

"Ech!" he cried. "You're a giant tapeworm! Gross!"

Now that it was visible, Parasite's hiss seemed all the louder. "I am not a tapeworm!"

Sakon stared at the transparent, scaley skin and shuddered as he realized he could see its innards.

"Ew." Sakon commented. "I had a tapeworm once when I was seven but you're a hell of a lot more disgusting!"

"I'm not a tapeworm!"

Sakon continued as if he hadn't heard. "...wait a sec...you...you're not that same tapeworm are you? Are you looking for revenge because I tried to kill you?"

Parasite let out an infuriated hiss. "I AM NOT A TAPEWORM!"

"You look like one to me."

"Enough of your insolence!" Parasite snarled. "I've let you live far too long! I will now devour you!"

Sakon's eyes trailed over the worm looking for its head but the coils seemed to be never ending. Everywhere he looked, there were coils surrounding him so he flew up into the air, looking for an escape. Parasite sped up its movements in response, the glowing now so bright it hurt to look at. Sakon dodged a coil that reached for him and flew higher and higher.

"Ugh, don't touch me!" Sakon protested. "You're slimy and gross!"

"Silence." Parasite ordered, lashing out at him a second time.

Sakon dodged and glanced all around, looking for a way out. He couldn't even see the shell of the egg it was so enormous and far off. Through the squirming coils, he spotted something. In the distance he could see what looked like an entire stone city, every window lit, seemingly beckoning to him. In a split second decision, he took off as fast as he could away from the worm. He didn't even have to look behind him to know the worm was following, hearing its movements vividly.

The closer he got to the city, the better he could make out its details and saw it was completely in ruin, barely more than a giant pile of rubble. Sure that it was a good place to hide, he headed for it.

Flying as fast as he could, he wove in and around sections of crumbling building, not even questioning why an abandoned city was still lit. Parasite was in hot pursuit and several times Sakon felt it grab at one of his legs. Sakon didn't slow in the least, simply kicking at it violently and zigzagging through the crumbling streets.

He made the mistake of glancing back and saw Parasite's head was just behind him, mouth stretched impossibly wide, ready to swallow him whole. Hundreds of long, jagged teeth went all the way down its throat, looking like a pit of razors. It wasn't the worm's mouth that held his attention however, it was its face.

Parasite wore a gleaming metal mask that covered the entire top half of its face, the only part visible the large gaping mouth. Sakon let out a long string of curses directed at his uncle, suspecting the other man knew very well what he'd have to face. Scowl, firmly in place, Sakon managed to speed up even faster, and tried to think of a way out of being eaten alive.

Ducking behind a chunk of wall, he watched as Parasite shot past him, unable to stop in time. Taking the opportunity to run the opposite direction along the shattered streets, he heard Parasite's furious snarl from behind him. Sakon dove inside the nearest house and hid himself in a corner, still furiously cursing his uncle. He had no way to defend himself and didn't especially want to be slowly digested by a worm. He couldn't think of a single way out of the situation.

"Why does everything always try to eat me?" he muttered to himself.

Everything around him was silent and still and Sakon didn't move a muscle, simply listening to his own pounding heartbeat. He hoped if he stayed hidden long enough Parasite would eventually tire of looking for him but he seriously doubted that would happen.

He sat huddled for several long moments, trying his best to stay as quiet as possible. He could hear Parasite slithering up and down the streets looking for him and he shuddered.

"I can smell your fear." Came Parasite's voice from just outside the house. "You cannot hide from me."

Parasite sounded incredibly close and Sakon's eyes widened. He pressed himself even tighter into the corner of the room, desperately hoping Parasite was bluffing. That hope was shattered however when the snarling face of Parasite came through the door, almost too big to fit. Sakon only hesitated a moment before jumping out the open window and running as fast as he could. Parasite smashed through the wall in pursuit and dove at Sakon, jaws poised for the kill. Sakon let out a yelp of surprise and jumped to the side just in time, the teeth barely missing his back.

Sakon hit the ground at a roll and looked up from his awkward position, ready to move again if necessary. He caught a glimpse of a brilliant, burning light deep within the worm's coils, barely able to be seen it was held so tightly. Parasite obviously didn't want whatever it was to get away because most of the worm's massive body surrounded it, trying to smother it out. Sakon only had a moment to stare at the strange light before he had to dodge aside of another oncoming attack.

Sakon ran along the broken road and darted through house after house, trying to lose his attacker. Parasite simply smashed its way through the buildings keeping on Sakon's heal the entire time. Sakon was used to being chased by things that wanted him dead and knew all of the tricks. He zigzagged all over the place wildly and with that he was able to put a bit of distance between them.

He gave another glance up at the strange light and had the sudden epiphany that it was probably the Windfish. Gods and Goddesses tended to like the whole ball of light appearance and the more Sakon stared, the more he realized it was pulsing as if breathing. It blinked with a sort of live energy, much like a fairy's glow, and Parasite seemed to be trying o snuff it out completely. Sakon wondered if The Windfish was even aware of what was going on.

"Hey Blo-Windfish!" Sakon yelled to the light as he jumped into the air. "Wake up!"

There was a furious yell from Parasite when it saw Sakon was heading straight for The Windfish so it lashed out at him with both its teeth and body. Sakon dropped sharply to the side to avoid it.

"WAKE UP, YOU LAZY DOLT!" Sakon screamed. "A TAPEWORM IS EATING YOU!"

The light gave a bright pulse just as Parasite lashed out at Sakon a second time. Sakon tried to dodge it but was grabbed and quickly encircled by Parasite's body. Sakon gave a yell of fright and immediately began kicking and struggling to get free.

"Ewww!" Sakon protested. "Stop touching me, you're slimy and nasty!"

Parasite gave a murderous hiss and squeezed him all the tighter. "For your disrespect and insolence I will bite off your limbs one by one and squeeze you until you're dead! The Windfish's heroes will die an agonizing death."

Sakon turned his eyes back to the light. "A little help would be nice, you dumb Blowfish!" Sakon yelled. "Come on, you're a god! Squash this stupid worm!"

Parasite squeezed him so tightly, Sakon felt something crack and gave a scream of pain, certain he was going to be crushed. Sakon couldn't see the worm's face but he could see glowing red eyes glaring at him with pure hatred through the mask. The mask seemed to be emitting a dark power and Sakon couldn't look away.

"Help, help, help, help!" Sakon croaked out, struggling to breathe. "Please! Windfish! Wake up!"

The light just above him became even brighter and something of gleaming metal fell loose from the coils. Sakon quickly saw it was the sword and watched as it plummeted to ground far below. There was a clang as it struck the road and Sakon stared down at it.

"A…lot…of…fat…good…that…does…me!" Sakon wheezed out angrily, certain he was starting to turn blue.

Parasite chuckled at the sight of the sword. "Foolish Windfish." It stated. "It is too bad you were not on the ground to catch such a weapon…you might have stood a chance then."

Sakon grimaced at the pain in his chest but managed to say. "Uh…don't suppose you'd consider passing it up?"

"No." Parasite responded, obviously enjoying Sakon's pain.

Sakon let loose a string of expletives and struggled uselessly. Parasite stretched open its jaws wide, its mouth dripping in anticipation and began bringing Sakon closer, intending to chew off one of his legs.

Suddenly there was a tremendous crack and everything began shaking violently. Parasite paused to look around in alarm and it got worse and worse, sending the worm crashing to the ground. Parasite crashed one way then another, having no control where it fell.

"What is this?!" Parasite yelled out in agitation. "Who is attacking me?!"

"It's an earthquake!" Sakon exclaimed, getting dizzy and bruised from being thrown around with Parasite.

Sakon fell from Parasite's coils and as there was another incredible boom, he was flung violently to one side. There was a deafening crack and then the world exploded around him in a shower of shell and a collage of colour. Sakon landed hard and was too dizzy and disconcerted to make sense of what had just happened. Blinking against the bright light, Sakon looked around and saw he was sitting in the remains of an eggshell. He glanced up at the sky feeling confused about how he had gotten out and The Postman leaned into his gaze. The Postman looked incredibly worried and knelt down beside him.

"Sakon?" he questioned. "Are you okay?"

Sakon slowly got to his feet and glanced down at the empty egg shell. There was no sign of Parasite, The Windfish or anything else for that matter. The egg seemed completely empty at first glance but Sakon saw a bit of metal shining, nearly completely buried underneath shell. Sakon reached down and plucked it out of the rubble then poked at the shell, looking for signs of Parasite. He found nothing.

Glancing around himself, he saw he was now at the very bottom of the mountain staircase and immediately realized what had happened. He gave The Postman an ecstatic grin.

"You pushed the egg down the stairs!" he cried out with a laugh. "I knew you had it in you!"

The Postman seemed a bit embarrassed. "You didn't come back out..."

Sakon gave the eggshell a hard kick, sending pieces flying in all directions. "Good job, darling." he said, stomping on the remaining shell.

The Postman watched Sakon stomp for a moment, his expression uncertain then asked. "Where's the Windfish? Did you meet him?"

"Yeah...we may have a few problems." Sakon began. "The Windfish may or may not be dead..."

The Postman's eyes widened. "What?!" he demanded in shock. "Sakon, what did you do?!"

"I didn't do nothing!" Sakon defended. "How come you're always blaming me for things?"

"Because you're usually responsible." The Postman responded, crossing his arms. "What happened?"

Sakon scratched at his back with the sword as he considered his response. "It was a big, horrible tapeworm." he decided on a moment later.

"...what?"

"It was huge!" Sakon exclaimed, flailing his arms. "It almost ate me alive!"

The Postman blinked, sure he had to have misheard. "...what?"

"You should have seen it!" Sakon cried. "It was enormous and soooo gross! It was so long, it practically filled the whole egg...although I think I may have been shrunk or teleported to another dimension...I'm not sure."

"Um..." The Postman stated. "...you had a tapeworm?"

Sakon let out an irritated sigh. "Don't be stupid, darling, haven't you been listening?"

The Postman furrowed his brow. "Apparently not because I have no idea what you're talking about."

Sakon gave him an exasperated look. "It was a giant, evil tapeworm that infected the Windfish's dreams and tried to eat me. It's planning on taking over the world!"

The Postman didn't seem impressed and crossed his arms. "Are you drunk?"

"No, I'm not drunk, you stupid wad! I think the tapeworm is the final boss of this world! I think we're supposed to stop it and save the Windfish!"

The Postman was having a really hard time believing what Sakon was saying and stared at the broken eggshell thoughtfully. The Windfish's presence no longer came from the egg but rather felt like it was all around them both in the air and in the ground. He couldn't pinpoint the location no matter how hard he tried.

"If this is true, then what do we do?" The Postman asked.

Sakon faltered as that thought had never even occurred to him. Where should they start? Where would you even find a giant tapeworm bent on world destruction? "Uh...I don't know." he admitted. "Any ideas?"

"Well, I'm not sure about evil tapeworms, but I know where the third dungeon is." The Postman stated. "We should start there."

The third dungeon seemed like a logical place to start so Sakon gave a nod and a stiff salute. "Alright, but I need to stop at the village to have a few words with my uncle first."

The Postman cocked his head. "Why?"

Sakon waved him off dismissively. "Never you mind." he stated. "Now lead the way, brave postman! To the village!

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	22. The Mermaid

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**Hey guys, here's chapter 22. (sigh) I'm not dead everyone, just very slow...It seems every chapter now, i'm apologizing for the slow update. My work just fired like 10 people for too much missed time so i have been super, super busy as of late. Once they hire a few more people, i should be able to get updates out a little faster.  
**

**********A huge thank you to my reviewers who always have such nice things to say:  
**

**ChocolateMilkLOL**

**The Empty Lord  
**

**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Light-Sakura**

**TooLazyToLogin  
**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll try my best to have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman **

The Mermaid

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The Postman could tell Sakon was mad about something but the thief refused to tell him what had happened. Sakon simply stomped the whole way to the village, scowl in place, hands clenched into fists. Deciding to see if he could distract him so that perhaps Sakon would calm down a bit, The Postman started a conversation.

"Were you in the animal village the whole time I was looking for you?"

Sakon nodded but didn't answer, his expression still troubled.

"What did you do all that time?"

Sakon gave a shrug causing The Postman to frown at him.

"Well, you must have done something." The Postman stated. "You couldn't have just sat there for three weeks..."

"Wanna bet?" Sakon challenged. "What were you doing? Feeling up some farm-boy the entire time?"

"Looking for you." The Postman replied with a slight edge to his voice.

Sakon hesitated, realizing he'd been a bit mean. "..oh, right, sorry."

The Postman studied him a moment, wondering what Sakon wasn't telling him. "Sakon, what's going on?"

"So, where did you stay while looking for me? Did you live in the forest like a squirrel?" Sakon asked quickly, averting his eyes.

The Postman knew very well what Sakon was doing and didn't appreciate the conversation change.

"I was staying with Marin." he replied.

Sakon stopped dead in his tracks. "Wait...what?"

The Postman gave him a curious look. "Hmm?" he questioned.

"You were living with Marin?!" Sakon cried incredulously.

"Yes? Why?"

Sakon paused. "I thought you didn't want anything to do with your love-interest?"

"Where else was I supposed to go? I didn't exactly have a lot of options." The Postman replied. "Marin offered to let me stay with her so I agreed."

Sakon's brow crinkled as he gave The Postman an unreadable look then he averted his gaze. "Whatever." he snapped. "Not like it's any of my business who you spend the night with anyway."

Without another word Sakon stomped off leaving The Postman feeling incredibly confused. He stared after the thief in bewilderment having no idea what had just happened.

"...what?"

Sakon was heading straight for the item shop, his scowl getting more prominent by the second. The Postman followed along behind him, deciding to just let Sakon do whatever he needed to calm down. It was clear that Sakon didn't want to talk about it at the moment and the thief was pointedly looked away from him. As they passed by Marin's house, Sakon kicked over her mailbox without a word then continued on towards the item shop. The Postman stopped to fix it then hurried after him.

Sakon stopped on the fringes of the shop's property and clenched his fists, obviously debating what to do. He glared at the shop for a moment then glanced around, his eyes settling on a fist-sized stone near his feet. He knelt down and picked it up, his gaze going back to the shop. Turning the stone in his hands, he was obviously contemplating something, his face a mask of concentration.

The Postman stared at him, surprised he was even able to pick it up, and didn't realize what Sakon was about to do until it was too late.

"Sakon, what are you-"

Sakon drew back his arm and whipped the stone as hard as he could at the shop. It smashed through a window in a shower of glass and Sakon gave a satisfied smirk. He immediately knelt down and grabbed another stone then another, sending them all flying towards the shop's windows. When every bit of glass had been shattered, he threw the stones at random, knocking several shingles off the roof. Just as he reeled his arm back to throw another, the shop door opened.

Sakon paused at the sight of The Happy Mask Salesman then narrowed his eyes. The Happy Mask Salesman didn't seem particularly angry with the destruction and simply crossed his arms, giving Sakon a questioning look.

"Are you just about done?" he asked lightly.

Before Sakon even thought about it, he threw the stone as hard as he could at his uncle's head. Luckily for him, his aim was off and instead it struck The Happy Mask Salesman hard in the shoulder making him stumble back. As soon as he'd done it, Sakon froze and stared at his uncle with wide eyes as the other man fell back against the door. The Happy Mask Salesman caught himself before he fell then levelled Sakon with such a look, the thief gulped.

The Postman was completely stunned that he'd done such a thing. "Sakon!" he scolded. "What is the matter with you?! You could have killed him!"

Sakon didn't answer, his eyes trained solely on his uncle. He slowly took a step back, his face incredibly pale, and gave another nervous gulp.

"I…uh…um." He trailed off weakly, having nothing to say.

Without another word, Sakon fled. The Postman stared after him until he'd disappeared around Marin's house then turned his gaze on The Happy Mask Salesman.

"Are you alright, sir?" he asked, taking a step closer. "I don't know what came into him!"

Ever so slowly, The Happy Mask Salesman's gaze turned to The Postman. His eyes seemed to be glinting red in the sunlight but The Postman knew that couldn't be right. Surely it was just a trick of the light? The Happy Mask Salesman said nothing; seemingly studying the other man and it began to make The Postman rather uncomfortable.

"Sir?" The Postman questioned when the silence dragged on. "Are you hurt?"

"I am fine." The Happy Mask Salesman replied, schooling his expression back into his unusual grin.

The Postman got a bad feeling about that grin and eyed him uncertainly. "I'll make Sakon apologize." He promised. "No matter how angry he was, he shouldn't have thrown a rock at you…"

The Happy Mask Salesman said nothing.

"Right…well I should probably catch up with him before he gets too far ahead…" The Postman said, turning away.

"Postman."

The Postman paused and glanced over his shoulder.

"Tell Sakon that after the next dungeon I want to have a few words with him."

The Postman didn't trust that grin one bit but nodded all the same. Without waiting for an answer, The Postman hurried off in the direction he'd seen Sakon disappear to.

He found Sakon waiting for him, just behind Marin's house looking white as a sheet and incredibly nervous.

"Um, is he mad?" he asked.

"You hit him with a rock."

Sakon winced, obviously regretting his rash actions. "Well, he deserved it!" he defended.

The Postman was skeptical. "Why did he deserve it?" he asked. "What aren't you telling me?"

Sakon averted his eyes. "It's nothing to do with you; just forget it."

"Why do I get the feeling you've agreed to do something really, really stupid?"

"You're one to talk." Sakon pointed out. "You made a deal with him too."

The Postman couldn't deny this. "I didn't try to keep it from you."

Sakon didn't answer.

"Something happened inside that egg, didn't it? Something to do with your uncle?"

Sakon still didn't answer, only confirming his suspicions.

"That's what I thought. Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"No, everything's fine, now drop it."

"You hit your uncle with a rock." The Postman reminded. "How is that fine?"

Sakon let out a heavy sigh and kicked at Marin's flowerbed distractedly. "How mad did he seem? Murderous mad or scheming mad?"

The Postman considered his answer. "Scheming mad." He answered.

"…damn."

"I think you'd better just apologize."

"No way! I'm not going anywhere near him for at least six months! Maybe then, he'll have forgotten…"

"He said he wants to speak with you after the dungeon."

"…double-damn."

Sakon peered around the edge of the cottage but The Happy Mask Salesman was already back inside the shop. "We should get going." he suggested nervously.

"I think we should get a few healing items if we're entering another dungeon." The Postman suggested. "I have a feeling this one is going to be even harder."

"I'm not going into the item shop." Sakon informed him. "Why don't you ask for some from your scabby new lover?"

The Postman blinked. "Who?"

"Stupid Marin, that's who!" Sakon snapped. "She's your cheap, germy slut after all."

The Postman had never thought he'd ever hear Sakon call someone else a slut and wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Sakon..."

"I can't believe you've been staying with her! She's not even real or that pretty! I bet you've caught some sort of dream disease from her!"

The Postman raised an eyebrow. Sakon had seemed very interested in Marin previously, but now it seemed she was scum to him. "Sakon, I never-"

"In fact, why aren't you rescuing the island with her as your partner if you love her so much?" Sakon demanded, stomping on Marin's flowerbed hard.

"Sakon, you're ridiculous." The Postman said with a sigh. "I'm not dating Marin."

Sakon paused, obviously about to say something else nasty. "...you're not?"

The Postman shook his head. "She's too young for me; I've just been staying there in the extra cot. I'm not interested in her."

Sakon's entire demeanor instantly changed. "She'd too female for you, you mean." he said with a grin.

The Postman ignored that last comment then said. "If you won't go to the Item Shop then we'll go to the Curiosity Shop…er Trading Post…Trendy Shop or whatever it's called."

Sakon gave a nod. "Yeah, The Curiosity Shop Owner's definitely skeevy enough to carry stolen healing items. He probably has a few black market weapons too…"

The Postman wasn't interested in buying questionable weapons but nodded all the same, heading towards the Trendy Shop. Sakon floated ahead, still keeping a wary eye on the item shop, and stopped at the Trendy Shop's door squinting at a piece of paper taped to the door.

"Trendy Shop Closed." He read aloud. "Owner on stress-leave. Be back in one week."

The Postman looked over his shoulder at the note. "We'll have to look elsewhere for items." He said.

"Lazy jerk." Sakon grumbled. "Stress-leave my ass. He's probably in there sleeping."

"Well, you did try to kill him."

"Whatever." Sakon said, walking through the shop door. He came back out a few moments later. "He's gone."

"We should get going." The Postman said, giving one more glance to the note. "We might not even need the items…"

Sakon doubted that but gave a nod anyway. "Okay, let's get this dungeon over with. I'm sick of this place. Now where did you say it was?"

"The dungeon is in the bay on the far side of the island. I found it when I was looking for you."

"Then it looks like we're taking a swim!" Sakon exclaimed, giving him a grin. "Lead the way!"

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They stood on the rocky beach and stared out across the bay. An odd rock formation was far out in the water that was shaped strangely like a shark. Its stone jaws were open and they could clearly see a cave's entrance within.

"Well, that looks inviting." Sakon stated with a snort.

The cave's entrance was several feet under water and both knew The Postman wouldn't be able to go in. The cave seemed black and endless and unlike Sakon, The Postman had to breathe now and then. Sakon scratched his head in thought.

"Well, unless you can hold your breath for a few hours, I think you're out of luck."

The Postman stared at the shark-shaped rocks with a frown and set down his backpack on the sand. He felt pretty certain Gaepora Kaebora wouldn't have directed him to the dungeon unless there was a way for him to enter it.

"Let's go take a look at it." The Postman suggested, stepping into the water. "There might be another entrance."

"Don't drown." Sakon warned him, only half-joking. "I still need you."

The Postman waded into the cold water until he was up to his chest and then paused; getting the feeling he was being watched. He glanced around but the water was silent and still, the two of them seemingly alone. The Postman couldn't shake the feeling however and frowned.

"Coming?" Sakon called, already halfway to the rocks.

The Postman nodded and swam out to him, pushing his unease aside for the moment. The Postman had never been a great swimmer but he felt pretty confident in his ability to keep himself from drowning. Sakon watched him a moment then gave him a grin.

"You swim exactly like what I imagine a lame Zora would." Sakon teased with a laugh.

The Postman pointedly ignored him. When they reached the rocks, The Postman pulled himself up out of the water and began looking it all over. There were no other entrances he could find on the surface and Sakon scoured the area under water. After several minutes of fruitless searching, both had to admit there was only one way into the dungeon.

The Postman took a seat on the top of the rocks and stared down into the water. "Maybe there's air inside the dungeon?"

Sakon looked skeptical. "Maybe, but the passageway looks like it goes on and on and I doubt you could hold your breath long enough to even get inside."

The Postman paused as he thought about it. "You uncle seemed to already know we were on our way to the next dungeon, perhaps we could ask him about it?"

Sakon's eyes widened. "No way! What part of avoiding him for six months didn't you understand?!"

"Then what do you suggest?"

"Let's just go back to shore and figure something out. We don't have to resort to going near my uncle."

The Postman nodded and slid off the rock into the water. He only swam for a few seconds before there was a loud shriek from ahead and a loud cry of delight from Sakon.

"A naked woman!" he bellowed out.

The Postman looked ahead and saw a woman with her hands clamped tightly over her chest, her chin barely above the water. Sakon was circling her like a vulture and she yelled at him to leave her alone and stop staring. Wondering if she was what he'd sensed watching them, The Postman cautiously approached.

At the sight of him, the woman let out another shriek and sank even lower into the water. The Postman stopped a few feet away and averted his eyes out of respect.

"Are you alright, miss?" he asked.

"Don't look at me!" she yelled at him.

"I won't." The Postman promised. "Sakon, stop being a pervert, look away."

"Awww," Sakon complained. "But how often does something like this happen? Give a guy a break!"

"You're scaring her, stop it." The Postman ordered.

Sakon let out a deep sigh and turned his back to the girl. "Spoilsport."

"Miss, are you alright?" The Postman asked. "Do you need any help?"

There was a hesitation then she replied. "You don't want to look at me?"

"No, miss."

"He's gayer than spring so you don't have to worry about him." Sakon stated helpfully.

The Postman gave him a look of death. The girl, however, relaxed and swam a bit closer to The Postman, obviously trying to get away from Sakon.

"A horrible, horrible perverted man stole my bikini top!" She told The Postman.

The Postman gave Sakon a 'look'.

"It wasn't me!" Sakon protested. "I resent that!"

"What happened?" The Postman asked her.

"I was minding my own business, swimming around the bay when a sleazy fisherman came by on a boat. He caught my bikini on his fishing line and now he won't give it back! He says I can have it if I give him a kiss! I'd rather die!"

"What did this fisherman look like?" The Postman asked her.

"He was balding, had a greasy looking mustache and wore dark sunglasses. He's really creepy."

The Postman and Sakon exchanged looks, knowing exactly who it was.

"Will you get it back for me?" the girl asked hopefully.

"Where did he go?" The Postman asked.

The girl pointed at a bridge off in the distance connecting two small islands. "He's underneath that bridge fishing."

The Postman squinted in that direction and could just make out the shape of a rowboat.

"If you'll do this for me, I'll give you one of my scales." The girl promised.

The Postman glanced at her. "Scales?!" he asked in surprise.

The girl gave a tittering laugh and lifted her tail out of the water, showing him that she was a mermaid. "Yes, scales." she told him with a smile. "I've been watching you flounder about in the water and you could use all the help you can get."

"What's a mermaid scale do?" Sakon asked, wondering if it was worth anything.

"It lets you breathe underwater and improves your swimming." she informed him. "A mermaid doesn't give scales to just anyone, you know."

The Postman knew he was likely supposed to get the scale as there seemed to be no other way into the dungeon.

"Will you get it for me?" the mermaid pled, doing her best to look completely dejected.

The Postman gave a nod. "We'll do our best, miss."

She gave him a genuine smile then dove beneath the water, disappearing from sight. Sakon stared down at the still water longingly for a moment then asked.

"Do we have mermaids back home?"

"For their sake, I hope not." The Postman replied with a sigh.

Sakon turned his attention to the rowboat in the distance and gave a downright devious grin. "Wanna see if I can flip his boat over?"

"Don't drown him." The Postman instructed.

Sakon rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

"I mean it." The Postman stated.

"I'm not going to kill him." Sakon assured him. "I'm done with killing things; I'm just going to mess with him."

"You're going to have to use that sword eventually." The Postman pointed out.

Pretending he didn't hear, Sakon started across the water towards the bridge. "Be right back." He said, diving underwater.

Tredding water, The Postman watched the rowboat, waiting for Sakon to make his move. Everything was quiet and still for a very long time and The Postman began wondering if something was wrong. He was caught off guard when there was a huge blast of water that erupted from underneath the boat sending both it and the man within flying about ten feet in the air. The Curiosity Shop Owner let out a scream as he hit the water, disappearing beneath the surface, his limbs flailing out wildly.

A moment later, Sakon pulled him to the surface by his shirt, letting him cling to the side of the rowboat. Sakon hovered over him, arms crossed but The Postman couldn't hear what he was saying. Whatever it was, it caused The Curiosity Shop Owner to give a nod and reach into his vest pocket to pull out the bikini top. He all but threw it at Sakon who caught it, the thief giving him a smirk. Sakon said something else which caused The Curiosity Shop Owner to noticeably flinch then the thief was heading back towards The Postman.

Once he was back to The Postman, he gave a grin, obviously quite proud of himself.

"How did you do that with the boat?" The Postman questioned.

Oh, I didn't." Sakon replied. "I couldn't budge it so I asked a river Zora to do it for me. Those guys can really pack a punch when they want to."

The Postman glanced back towards the rowboat and sure enough, a river Zora had surfaced to tease The Curiosity Shop Owner. Sakon grinned a little wider.

"So, where's the busty fish lady?" he asked, twirling the bikini top around his index finger.

The moment he said that, the mermaid peeked out of the water, eyeing him distrustfully. Her eyes fell on the bikini top and she instantly reached for it with a happy cry. "Give it to me!" she pled. "Please give it to me!"

Sakon gave her an amused look and held it out of her reach. "What'll you give me in return?" he demanded.

The mermaid balked. "What? I promised one of my scales!"

Sakon shook his head. "No, you promised him one of your scales. I have no use for one."

The mermaid gave him an infuriated look. "Give it back now!" she ordered.

"Give me a kiss and I will!"

The mermaid's expression darkened. "You're no better than the creep who stole it in the first place!"

"Well, no need to be insulting." Sakon said, still giving her a lecherous grin.

The Postman let out a sigh. "Sakon, just give it back. Stop being a bully."

Sakon gave an overdramatic sigh and rolled his eyes. "You're such a stick-in-the-mud." He commented, tossing the mermaid her bikini top.

The mermaid caught it, then gave The Postman a grateful smile. The moment it was fastened and she was covered, she gave him a kiss on the cheek then held out a scale.

"Thank you."

"Why does he get a kiss?! I was the one who got your stupid top back!"

The mermaid stuck her tongue out at him. "Because he isn't a jerk." She responded.

"Unfair." Sakon complained, crossing his arms. "It figures that the gay one gets all the girls."

The Postman accepted the small, green scale, ignoring Sakon completely. The mermaid gave him one last smile before diving underwater and disappearing from sight. The Postman glanced up at Sakon then over at the underwater cave.

"How does the scale work?" he pondered aloud.

"Do I look like a mermaid to you?" Sakon asked. "If you weren't so busy hitting on fish people, then maybe you would have thought to ask her."

The Postman didn't point out the fact that Sakon hit on pretty much anything that moved and instead turned the scale over in his hand.

"Do I just hold it?" The Postman asked uncertainly.

"I will repeat that I have no idea." Sakon stated. "Try diving underwater and see?"

The Postman didn't like the idea of purposely breathing underwater to test it out and hesitated. Sakon simply shook his head.

"Wimp."

The Postman ran a finger over the scale and was quite surprised when it seemed to fuse with the palm of his hand. He started to pick at it to get it off then stopped when he realized he couldn't breathe. His lungs didn't seem to want to cooperate, feeling as if they were blocked off by something. Despite not being able to breathe, The Postman felt fine and hesitantly looked at the scale. It shone silver against his skin, smooth and seemingly a part of him. Feeling along his neck and then his chest, The Postman discovered he now had multiple gills. He hadn't felt them form and wasn't sure he trusted them.

"What's the matter?" Sakon asked, seeing his expression.

The Postman tried to speak but found he couldn't without lungs. He stared at the thief helplessly.

"What?" Sakon demanded. "What's the matter with you?"

The Postman tried again but had no air to speak with. Instead, he pointed to his throat, hoping Sakon would get the message. Sakon squinted at him, trying to find anything amiss.

"You can't speak?"

The Postman shook his head.

"Is it the scale?"

The Postman nodded, holding up his palm to show him.

"Huh." Was Sakon's only comment. "So, are you okay underwater now?"

The Postman let himself sink under the water to test it out and the gills did their job and he was alright. Sakon plunged into the water after him then gave him a grin.

"Well, it looks like we can do the dungeon now!" he announced. "Come on, let's go!"

The Postman marvelled at how Sakon could speak under water but wasn't able to ask about it. He felt completely natural under the water like it was where he belonged and wondered if that was a side effect of the scale. Easily swimming after the thief towards the rock formation, they entered the entrance to the dungeon.

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**Reviews Make The Author Happy!**


	23. The Third Dungeon

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**Hey guys, here's chapter 23. (sigh) I'm seriously not dead everyone, just very, very slow since I don't have a computer at the moment. I had to type this entire thing via cellphone so it was VERY time consuming lol There's only one chapter left of part 4 of The Postman series then I'm going to work on my Ganondorf story before starting part 5.  
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**********A huge thank you to my reviewers who always have such nice things to say:  
**

**********Hopekey  
**

**ChocolateMilkLOL**

**The Empty Lord  
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**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Illusionary Path**

**Light-Sakura**

**Mewmew**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll try my best to have the next chapter out shortly! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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Ballad of The Postman 

The Third Dungeon

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The Postman instantly hated the dungeon the moment they entered it. The cave was dark, narrow and in some places he could barely squeeze through. He was feeling claustrophobic but couldn't voice his unease. Sakon wasn't bothered in the least and chattered to him incessantly, leading him through the tunnel.

The underwater cave was cold and the rocks slimy and The Postman had hoped there wasn't something horrible waiting for them at the other end. He knew better than to hope the dungeon would be empty and that they'd just find the next instrument laying unguarded, but he prayed it would at least be easier.

The tunnel seemed to go on forever and The Postman had managed to scrape both his knees and elbows off the rough walls, the salt water stinging the cuts. Finally they could see light at the end of the tunnel and The Postman felt relieved. The light wasn't sunlight however and it glowed a pale eery blue and Sakon drew his sword.

"Stay here." Sakon ordered. "I'll check it out. Be back in a minute."

Without another word, Sakon swam off ahead, while The Postman hung back, squinting in the strange light. Sakon wasn't gone long and when he returned, he was holding a large glowing piece of coral. The pale blue light illuminated him and Sakon gave a grin, his teeth shining a startling white against the light. He held the coral out and waved The Postman over, clearly excited.

The Postman approached but didn't accept the piece of coral Sakon tried to shove into his hands.

"It's covered in some sort of weird glowy slime!" Sakon exclaimed. "The whole inside of the dungeon is covered in it!"

The Postman stared at the piece of coral and didn't trust it at all. It was unnatural and in his experience that always meant something bad. Sakon poked at the coral and his finger came away covered in the glowing slime. Grinning even wider, he proceeded to smear it all over himself until his whole body glowed. He gave a childish giggle and glanced up at The Postman.

"Aren't I 'radiant', darling?"

The Postman rolled his eyes.

No longer needing it, Sakon tossed the piece of coral aside, the slime on his body lighting up the tunnel around them. Whistling to himself, Sakon continued on his way and The Postman quickly followed after. At this point they had been in the tunnel for nearly twenty minutes and The Postman was glad he hadn't attempted to enter the dungeon without the mermaid's scale.

They swam for a few minutes, the only sound Sakon's whistling, until they came to a large room covered in the coral. Looking high above, The Postman could see the surface of the water and headed for it, hoping to find dry land. He only got halfway to the surface before he felt a stabbing pain in his left leg and instinctively kicked out. The pain only increased and he looked down to see a Skull Fish latched tightly onto the leg. Using his other foot, he kicked it off, a stream of blood quickly surrounding him. Instantly dozens of Skull Fish were around him, nipping and gnawing at his legs and The Postman began to panic, trying desperately to reach the surface to get away from them.

While living with the Gerudos, he'd seen creatures thrown to hungry Skull Fish by Ganondorf and knew exactly how fast they could strip off flesh. Kicking furiously to get to the surface, he didn't even see Sakon slashing at the fish, trying to keep them at bay. He broke the water's surface and grabbed onto the slick rocks, yanking himself out of the water without even waiting to make sure the coast was clear. He booted off the one determined Skull Fish still attached to him and glanced down into the water, gasping in an attempt to breathe. His lungs still weren't working and he pulled at the Mermaid Scale trying to dislodge it from his palm.

Just when he thought he was about to suffocate, the scale came loose and his lungs filled with air. Sucking in air greedily, he glanced over as Sakon burst out of the water, sword still drawn. Sakon looked relieved at the sight of him and sheathed the sword, floating over to get a look at the damage.

The Postman looked down at his legs and although there was a lot of blood, the wounds didn't seem very deep and he knew he was lucky.

"I didn't see the fish..." Sakon said apologetically. "...sorry."

The Postman wiped away some of the blood. "I'm fine." he assured him, getting to his feet. "It looks worse than it is."

Sakon spat at the water. "Stupid Skull Fish." he grumbled. "I have a bad history with them."

"Ganondorf?" The Postman guessed.

Sakon nodded. "Ganondorf taught me to swim by throwing me into a lake filled with Skull Fish. He thought not being able to swim was a weakness so he claimed he was 'helping' me. Asshole."

"Well...I guess it worked though, right?"

Sakon gave him a dirty look. "Don't defend him. I nearly lost an important part of myself that day."

For the first time, The Postman looked around to see where he was and saw he was sitting right outside a doorway leading deeper into the Dungeon. The doorway was nothing more than a hole in the wall with a crudely cut wooden door and The Postman approached cautiously. The door didn't look like anything that spectacular so The Postman reached out towards the handle.

"Careful." Sakon warned.

The Postman pushed open the door and was met with the sight of an empty stone room. The room was quiet, covered in a layer of dust and seemed completely innocent. The Postman had been through enough to instantly distrust it and hesitated in the doorway, looking for anything out of place. Sakon floated into the room fearlessly, holding up a hand signalling that he'd take care of it. He inspected every corner of the room then looked back at him with a shrug.

The Postman stepped into the room and the door instantly slammed and locked after him. At the sound of the click, The Postman froze, knowing something was about to happen.

"What did you do?!" Sakon accused.

The Postman didn't answer, his eyes focussed on a thin slot in the wall which was slowly opening. Hearing the grating sound as it opened, Sakon turned to stare. Slots began opening all over the room and both slowly backed away into a corner.

Without any warning, arrows shot out of the slots in all directions and The Postman barely managed to drop to the floor in time to avoid them. Sakon was a little slower on the uptake and dozens of arrows sailed harmlessly through his chest hitting the wall behind him. As a second wave of arrows passed through him, Sakon let out a giggle.

"Oops, probably a good thing these things can't hurt me..."

The Postman was laying as flat as he could on the ground, hands covering his head and he didn't look up. "Find the switch!" he cried.

Sakon looked one way then the other. "And how do you propose I do that? I don't see it."

"There has to be something! Look again!" The Postman ordered, trying to make himself even smaller.

"Bossy, bossy, bossy." Sakon commented, inspecting the slots the arrows came from.

The stream of arrows seemed endless and piles were quickly growing on the floor all around them. The Postman didn't dare move, being in the only safe spot in the entire room and watched as Sakon looked the room over thoroughly. After a few moments, the piles of arrows became high enough on all sides so that The Postman could sit up without fear of being shot. Sakon wasn't having luck and the piles of arrows were getting so high, the thief had to brush several aside to continue his search.

"This is ridiculous!" Sakon commented. "What a waste of arrows! Who would put this much effort into trying to kill you?!"

The Postman didn't answer as Sakon continued grumbling to himself, his attention on something else altogether. Something felt off in the room and he gave an uncertain look around. The sound of the arrows continuously hitting the wall was almost deafening but he could still hear something beyond it, something hauntingly familiar. He listened intently, tuning everything else out and the soft whisper of a song met his ears. It was as soft as a breath but yet it pulled at him like a siren's song. It was the same gentle song he'd been hearing since the storm on the pirate ship and he glanced over at Sakon. The thief didn't seem to hear anything out of the ordinary and was still muttering to himself as he searched.

The Postman stared across the room in the direction he was certain the music was drifting from and slowly got to his feet. An arrow whizzed by his ear and he flinched back but he couldn't take his eyes off the far wall.

"Sakon?"

"Hmm?" the thief questioned, glancing over. His eyes widened. "What are you doing?! Get down, you moron!"

The Postman pointed. "Check that wall."

Sakon squinted at the bare wall. "There's nothing there, darling, I think you need glasses."

The Postman couldn't explain it but he was certain the music was coming the wall. Using all of the agility and speed he possessed, he crossed the room and slapped a hand to the spot the music came from loudest. A switch that was blended in with the wall perfectly, pressed in and the arrows instantly ceased and the door slid open revealing the next room.

Sakon stared at The Postman then the switch then back again. "You're weird." he commented. "Your freaky mail powers can do some pretty stupid things." He then floated out of the room without another word.

The Postman gazed at the switch, the music now coming from the open doorway. "...but it wasn't my powers..." he said to no one in particular.

The first thing The Postman noticed upon stepping through the doorway was that everything was awash in motion. An enormous waterfall was pouring down around them, the roar deafening and room was filled with a cold mist. They couldn't see where the waterfall ended, the water disappearing into the darkness far below. A large waterwheel was affixed to the center of the room, platforms spinning and turning about wildly. The music clearly came from the waterfall's very top where he could just barely make out the sight of a platform and an open doorway.

The Postman stared a long moment then let out a sigh. Not even muttering a complaint, he approached the platform's edge and peered down into the darkness.

The waterwheel was halfway across the room and he knew without his Pegasus Boots and Roc's Feather he never would have stood a chance at jumping so far. He backed up, judging the distance as Sakon stared at the waterfall in wonder.

"Do you suppose that waterfall is really water?"

The Postman paused and looked back at the waterfall. That thought hadn't occurred to him and if it was really acid or some other harmful liquid, it would make everything much harder. The Postman suddenly wished he had of brought his shield with him. He continued backing up, now preparing himself for a world of pain.

"Um, darling, shouldn't you-"

The Postman took a deep breath, ran several steps and then leapt towards the waterwheel with all his might. His fingers barely caught one of the slick platforms, his hands slipping against the wet metal. He struggled to pull himself up as the wheel spun, bringing him closer and closer to the waterfall. Digging his nails into the grooves where the platform screwed together, he found a grip and pulled himself up, just as he was plunged into the waterfall.

Sakon let out a yell much too late and watched as The Postman disappeared from sight, unable to do anything to help.

Sakon let out a breath of relief when a moment later, the wheel left the waterfall and The Postman was still clinging to the platform. Soaked and half-drowned, The Postman coughed and struggled to his feet, not wanting to go through the waterfall a second time. Glad that it really was water and not something horrible, The Postman wiped at his eyes and prepared himself to jump. Partially deaf from both the roar of the waterfall and from having water in his ears, The Postman noted that the music was as clear as day.

Sakon had never seemed to notice the music and The Postman began to suspect that it was in his own mind. The Windfish or the Goddesses were obviously meddling, wanting to ensure he got through whatever traps and dangers that lay ahead. He hoped that's what it was anyway and not that he was simply losing his mind.

The waterwheel reached its highest point and The Postman jumped for the open doorway, hitting the floor with a splat and rolling several feet before coming to a stop. The door slammed shut as soon as he hit the floor and he let out a groan, knowing that meant there was a trap. Sakon floated through the door and knelt next to him worriedly.

"You still alive?"

"Sort of." The Postman answered, brushing his wet hair out of his eyes.

"Good enough for me." Sakon responded, drawing his sword. "So what's next?"

The Postman sat up and was once again met with the sight of an empty room. Not trusting it, he very slowly got to his feet, not wanting to activate anything. He looked one way then the other cautiously, and then took a hesitant step forward. Instantly, the entire floor collapsed and he plummeted headlong into the darkness.

Sakon let out a gasp and dove towards the gaping hole but was shocked when he bounced off of it like there was some sort of magic blocking the way. He kicked and pounded at it with all his might, but he succeeded in doing was bruising his hand.

"Jihiro!" he yelled down into the darkness. "Jihiro!"

There was no reply.

Furrowing his brow, Sakon looked up as a door slid open. He had a feeling that The Postman was alive and knew he had to find him before something else did. Luck always seemed to work against them so he clenched the sword and stepped into the next room.

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The Postman expected to be bashed and torn against rocks or spikes as he fell but surprisingly enough, he landed in water. He broke the surface choking and sputtering but was otherwise fine and glanced around. He couldn't see much in the dim light and tred in the water slowly, trying not to make too much noise or movement. Looking up, he couldn't even see where he'd fallen from.

He felt something brush against his legs and he looked down, hoping the water wasn't full of Skullfish. He couldn't see into the water and carefully swam a few feet away. He was nudged a second time, this time harder and then without warning, he was yanked beneath the water.

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If Sakon were capable of being harmed by ordinary weapons, the room may have frightened him. In fact, he probably would have been hysterical at this point, but since he was relatively safe, he stood in the center of the room giggling. A ceiling of spikes slowly descended towards him and he couldn't help but be amused. He doubted The Postman would have found the room as amusing and was glad he wasn't there. Trying to stop a deathtrap with a time limit would have been irritating.

Although he was tempted to stand there to see what would happen, he knew he had to keep going and passed through the door to the next room. When the room was engulfed in flames and the floor began excreting acid, he began whistling the march of the Dekus, passing on to the next room without pause.

The next room was filled with various monsters and Sakon let out a yell of glee and drew his sword. He charged for the nearest monster and raised his sword for the kill, eager for the fight. He paused, sword inches from the Wolfos' neck and frowned. He raised the sword and tried again but just couldn't bring himself to do it. He'd had enough blood for this adventure and he was sick of staining his hands in it.

He gave the Wolfos a poke with the sword, causing it to yelp, and then he turned away. "You're lucky this time." He muttered. "I coulda made a pooch-kabob out of you."

Every monster in the room instantly lunged at him but their attacks fell through him and they ended up attacking each other instead. Blood and pieces of fur flew in all directions and Sakon averted his eyes.

"You can't hurt me, you stupid furballs!"

Sakon wasn't entirely certain the Wolfos or any of the monsters for that matter understood him, so he continued on through the room without another word, ignoring the sounds behind him. Navigating a dungeon when one was nearly invincible quickly became very dull and after the tenth straight room of death and despair, he let out a sigh. He supposed someone had put a lot of work into those traps, but they lost their 'wow' factor when he could just walk right through anything thrown at him.

"Oh wheeere, oh wheeere has my Jihiro goooooone, oh where, oh where can he beee?" Sakon sung as loudly and off key as he could manage and passed through yet another room full of arrows, acid and spikes. He sang obnoxiously as he walked along, hoping The Postman might hear him and was quite startled when someone spoke to him as he entered a hallway.

"Who's Jihiro?" asked the unexpected voice.

Sakon paused mid-step and glanced all around the seemingly empty hallway. "Huh?" he responded intelligently.

"You lost a Jihiro." The voice said patiently. "Who is that?"

"Depends on who wants to know." Sakon responded testily. "Where are you?"

"Look down." The voice told him.

Sakon looked down and saw a tiny snail about the size of his pinky nail sitting in front of him. He wasn't certain how a snail could sit, but he was sure that's what it was doing.

"You're a snail?" he asked skeptically.

"What's wrong with being a snail?" it asked, sounding a bit hurt.

"Hmm, nothing I suppose, except that you're kind of gross and no one likes you."

"That's rather mean." The snail pointed out. "What makes you so much better than me?"

"Well, for starters, I can do this!" Sakon answered, raising his foot into the air.

He held the foot to step on it but the snail didn't seem afraid, only indignant.

"Don't!" it ordered.

Sakon wasn't actually planning to step on it anyway but he still held his foot over it threateningly. "Why?" he demanded.

"I was going to offer to help you find whatever a Jihiro is, but you are a bully. I don't like bullies."

Sakon knelt down and plucked the snail from the floor, holding it up so he could see it more clearly. "What do you know?" he asked. "You're just a snail; a tiny snail at that."

"I have big aspirations."

Sakon let out a snort but had seen weirder things lately so he set the snail on his palm. "I'm looking for my friend; we were separated when he fell through a hole in the floor."

The snail adjusted one of its eyes to look up at him then said. "He's with Mynora." It responded.

"Who?"

"She is the monster of this dungeon, she has your friend."

"You're a snail, how do you know this?"

"When you're small and very slow, you tend to watch and listen a lot."

Sakon pondered on that a moment. "Alright, fine." he conceded. "Where do I find the monster?"

"She's in the water deep beneath the dungeon." the snail told him. "Keep going down if you wish to find her."

Sakon had already tried going through the floor several times to no avail and so far hadn't seen any staircases or passages that might lead him beneath the dungeon.

"How do I get there?" he demanded.

"Beat the dungeon and you'll see." the snail replied.

Sakon didn't trust that answer and gave the snail a frown. "Fine, but you're coming with me." he said, setting the snail on top of his shoulder. "You'd better hope it isn't a trap."

He took a few steps towards the door and the snail let out a shriek. "Slow down! You're going way too fast! You're going to kill us!"

Sakon paused as the snail giggled. "I'm just kidding, you can keep going."

Sakon gave the snail a smirk then opened the door to the next room.

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The Postman choked on a mouthful of water as he was yanked underwater and he quickly slapped the Mermaid's Scale onto his palm. Instantly feeling better, The Postman struggled against whatever had a hold of him as he was pulled deeper and deeper beneath the surface.

The Postman couldn't see at all but he had a feeling he was about to be eaten by something. When he finally came to a stop, the water pressure was hurting his ears and could sense something moving nearby.

"Why do the Goddesses hold such interest in you?" a voice asked. "You don't look like much."

The Postman couldn't answer since he no longer had use of his lungs and instead gave a shrug, wondering how he could be seen at all in such darkness.

"Hmm," the voice said. "You don't even know the extent to which they're manipulating you, do you?"

The Postman cocked his head.

"I didn't think so." the voice replied smoothly. "You know nothing about who you are and what the Goddesses have planned for you."

The Postman continued listening, unable to deny he was interested in what was being said.

"Poor little Jihiro," the voice mocked him. "You never stood a chance at being anything else but the monster they're molding you to be."

The Postman's confusion must have shown because the voice gave a chuckle. "Do you not see it? Everything that has happened to you has been for a reason. You cannot alter your destiny. The Goddesses will have their monster."

The Postman couldn't think of anything terrible he'd done to deserve the title of monster and gave a frown of disbelief. The voice had to be lying to him.

"You don't believe me."

The Postman shook his head. He wasn't a bad person and he doubted anything could make him such.

"All of these adventures you've been going on have been carefully shaping you and preparing you to take your first kill. You will kill and the blood on your hands will change you forever."

Again The Postman shook his head. He would never hurt anyone; it just wasn't in his nature. He knew it was all a lie. Even if the Goddesses were manipulating him, what was the purpose of it?

"I see you will need more convincing." the voice said. "Allow me to show you."

He felt a light touch on his forehead and instantly his mind exploded with images and sounds.

The Postman was standing in a village he didn't recognize. He seemed to be much stronger physically and he was covered in scars and cuts obviously obtained in battle. There was blood soaking the ground, the grass stained and dripping. The houses around him were burning, the smoke so thick he could barely see. He was clenching a sword in his hand, the blade sticky with blood and his gaze fixed on the carnage in front of him. The Postman felt everything this version of himself did and it was like he really was there and in control. He felt an immense satisfaction at what he saw and stepped around a pile of debris, making his way through the village.

The Postman saw himself cut down any survivor he found, their screams echoing in his ears perfectly. He felt nothing but an aching emptiness as he sliced and stabbed, his eyes only focussed ahead, never looking back. His adrenaline seemed endless and he could smell and taste the blood and death that surrounded him.

He took a deep breath and turned his eyes to the sky, the very heavens burning red with the call of war. There was the constant rumble of thunder like the beat of a drum and it urged him on. Holding his sword to the sky, The Postman let out animalistic yell and continued on through the village, crazed and determined. Nothing could stop him and he knew it. Everything was going to burn.

Just as suddenly as it had happened, the vision was gone and The Postman was once again surrounded by darkness. He felt both stunned at what he'd just seen and in disbelief. He furiously shook his head, trying to convey that he wasn't like that at all, that there was some mistake but the voice simply laughed.

"They will turn you into the perfect warrior to use in their war." it said. "You will lose all humanity over time until you're nothing more than the walking shell you saw in that vision. There's nothing you can do to alter this."

The Postman continued shaking his head, completely disagreeing with everything the voice said.

"You still think I am lying?" the voice asked in amusement.

The Postman gave a confident nod.

"You cannot deny that your life has been getting more and more hectic this past year. Eventually you will have no choice but to take your first kill. Although I really don't know why the Goddesses have chosen you, I know that you will become exactly what they want you to. Everyone has their part in this, even I will play my part."

Again The Postman shook his head. It was all lies. He knew the vision couldn't have been real. He would never hurt an innocent person. In fact he couldn't picture himself hurting a villain either.

"You don't have to believe my words." the voice said. "Look to your family's past for the answers. You aren't who you think."

Before anything else could be said, everything lit up as bright as day. The coral around him had lit up and now The Postman looked to see who it was that held him. It was an enormous white worm.

"Get off of him, you stupid tapeworm!"

The Postman turned just in time to see Sakon slash at the coil that held him. Parasite let out a furious howl as Sakon successfully cut off a segment of its body and it retracted the rest of itself down into the earth out of site. Sakon waved the sword threateningly and stuck out his tongue.

"There! That's what you get for messing with my friends! You better run!"

The Postman wanted to point out that a worm couldn't run but instead gave Sakon a grateful look.

"Stop getting yourself into trouble!" Sakon scolded, crossing his arms. "I won't always be here to rescue you, you know! I had to go through like 30 rooms to find you!"

The Postman rolled his eyes.

Laying at the bottom of the water was what used to be a giant fish but it had holes gnawed all through it, its flesh barely holding together. Sakon crinkled his nose at it.

"Well, I guess that explains what happened to the temple boss...Ouch."

The Postman stared at Sakon still holding the sword and couldn't help but shudder, remembering what he'd seen. What was so interesting about his past that it affected what the Goddesses had planned for him? Did this have anything to do with Ichiro who may or may not be his older brother? Did the mystery lay with him? The Postman would have sighed if was capable and instead turned his attention to Sakon's shoulder where a small snail was sitting. He gave the thief a questioning look who didn't notice, his attention already on the chest sitting beside the dead fish.

"Treasure time!" he announced. "Come on! Go open it!"

Swimming down to the chest, The Postman opened it, large bubbles of air escaping as he did so. He pulled out a silver flute and the very familiar music swelled triumphantly within his mind, everything going white as they were teleported out of the dungeon.

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**Reviews Make the Author Happy!**


	24. The Finale

**********The Windfish in name only for it is neither. How does one get to the island of dreams?  
Is it by sleep or is it by death? The Postman finds the journey is not as easy as it would seem.**

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**********Authornote:**

**Wow, is this chapter EVER long! lol So here is chapter 24, the final chapter for this part of the series! It's very long but there's plenty of action so don't get scared! I really hope you guys enjoy it!  
**

**********A huge thank you to my reviewers who always have such nice things to say:  
**

**********Reiz16  
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**ChocolateMilkLOL**

**The Empty Lord  
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**Nocturne of Eclipse **

**Light-Sakura**

**TooLazyToLogin**

**Don't forget to read and review and I'll try my best update as quickly as possible! Any suggestions, feedback or criticisms are welcome and appreciated! Never be afraid to tell me what you really think! :D**

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**Ballad of The Postman**

**The Finale**

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The Postman slowly opened his eyes when he felt his feet touch solid ground once more. The Mermaid's Scale was gone and he took a deep breath, looking around himself in disbelief. They were back on what used to be the beach but it was barely recognizable. Giant holes riddled its surface like Swiss cheese, the holes black and endless. The entire island had been gnawed beyond recognition and great lengths of white worm squirmed all throughout them.

Sakon looked one way then the other then let out a curse. The Postman glanced over at him and saw the thief was clenching the sword so tightly, his knuckles were white. The Postman's eyes fell on the snail which was slowing crawling up the side of Sakon's head.

"Sakon, you have a snail on your head." He pointed out.

"I know." Sakon responded. "That's Gertrude."

The Postman cocked his head in confusion. "Gertrude?" he repeated.

"She helped me find you."

"…right." The Postman said, frowning at the tiny snail.

"I am actually not a female." The snail informed him. "I don't have a gender; I can be either if I choose. Sakon has decided that I seem more like a female and he gave me a name."

"Er…" The Postman said, not sure how to respond to a talking snail.

Deciding there were other more pressing matters, The Postman turned his eyes back to the disappearing island. "We should go find your uncle and make sure he's alright."

Sakon quickly waved him off. "He's fine."

"Most of the island is gone," The Postman pointed out. "What if he's hurt? Don't you want to make sure he's safe?"

Sakon's expression clearly said that he did not.

"Do you have a lot of family?" Gertrude asked him innocently. "So many that the death of one does not bother you?"

Sakon scowled and let out a curse. "Okay, fine, but I already know he's fine. It would take more than a stupid worm to kill him off."

Sakon began stomping off in the direction of the village and The Postman gave another glance around at the hundreds of holes, then quickly followed after.

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The village was in complete ruins. Every cottage was chewed to pieces and the entire town seemed completely vacant. The Postman shivered, the sight of the houses bringing the vision of blood and fire to mind, and he felt completely nauseous. Sakon kicked at the rubble that was once the Item Shop but it was obvious The Happy Mask Salesman was nowhere to be found. Sakon frowned, clearly not knowing what to think and turned to face him. When he saw The Postman's distraught expression, his brow crinkled in worry.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

The Postman didn't answer, unsure of how to explain the vision Parasite had shown him. He crossed his arms uncomfortably and averted his gaze. Sakon looked across the town to where The Postman's dream parents lived and saw the cottage was completely gone.

"None of this is real." Sakon reminded him. "The island is all a dream, the people were all dreams. Nobody really died."

The Postman gave a distracted nod which seemed to satisfy Sakon.

"I don't know where my uncle scuttled off to, but he can take care of himself. Knowing him, he's probably already back in Hyrule scheming something."

The Postman had his doubts about that but didn't say so. Instead, he turned his gaze to Marin's house which was nothing more than a pile of broken wood. A giant hole was where the left side of the cottage used to be and The Postman hesitantly approached. Sakon followed after him, frowning at the cottage and silently hoping to himself Marin had been eaten by the worm.

"The other two instruments were inside her house." The Postman stated, pulling away a piece of wood. "We need them to wake the Windfish."

Sakon glanced around at the perforated island. "…are you sure we should wake him? This looks like an awful lot of brain damage to me…"

"How else are we to get home?" The Postman asked, pulling away more sheets of wood. "He's the only one that can fix this."

Sakon knew this was true but was a little worried about waking a brain-damaged god from hibernation. Most Gods or Goddesses didn't like Sakon to begin with and he could only imagine what the Windfish's reaction to them would be.

"I think you should be the one to wake him…" he suggested. "Gods seem to like you."

Seeing something shine in the debris, The Postman pulled out the cowbell which was perfectly unharmed. Cleaning it off with his shirt, he set it aside to continue digging.

"Sakon, wouldn't it be faster if you helped him?" the snail asked.

Sakon let out a sigh. "Bossy snail." He muttered, pulling away a piece of wood. "Why don't you help him if you're so worried about the time?"

"I will gladly do so if you tell me how." The snail retorted. "Snails have never been very good at lifting."

"Smart-aleck."

Sakon was the one to find the cello and he pulled it out of the rubble, noting the surface was scratched and dented. "Go figure that it would be the stupid cowbell that survives." He stated. "So what do we do now?"

The Postman ran a hand over the cello's surface but didn't look overly concerned. "I think it's alright, the strings are still intact."

Sakon strummed his thumb across the strings and listened to the low mournful sound it created. "I don't know how to play any of these instruments." He stated. "My uncle forced me to play the organ a few times as a kid but I don't know the first thing about flutes and stuff."

"Neither do I." The Postman admitted.

"Don't look at me." Gertrude informed them. "I can't help you."

"The Windfish must have known there was a possibility we wouldn't be able to play the instruments." The Postman said thoughtfully. "I'm sure it will be alright."

"I volunteer to play the cowbell." Sakon stated. "It doesn't look too hard to figure out."

The Postman looked down at the three instruments then furrowed his brow. "How can two people play three instruments?" he questioned. "We need another person."

Sakon looked one way then the other. "Uh, darling, I think we're fresh out of extra people at the moment. They're probably all worm poop by now."

The Postman stared at a large segment of worm nearby and shuddered. "What about your uncle? Didn't you say you thought he was still alive? Can he play any of these instruments?"

"I make a point not to be involved in my uncle's daily life so I have no idea." Sakon answered. "We don't know where he is anyway."

Parasite was clearly growing larger and larger by the minute the more he consumed the island and The Postman knew they didn't have a lot of time before the island was gone completely. The haunting music had been calling to him since they'd arrived in the village and he knew he was being urged to move on.

"Should we go to the Windfish's mountain?" he asked uncertainly. "It looks pretty intact from here…"

Sakon squinted at the mountain in the distance. "No harm in looking, I guess. We already wrecked the Windfish's egg so I don't know what it will accomplish."

"I just have a feeling that's where we should be…" The Postman said, picking up the instruments.

Sakon had learned to trust The Postman's feelings and intuitions when it came to destinations so he nodded without a word. The Postman gave one more glance around the destroyed village, then turned to head towards the mountain. Sakon followed closely behind as The Postman dodged around large coils of worm and leapt over the craters and holes that were in his way.

There definitely wasn't much left of the island, the ground unstable and brittle from the thousands of holes chewed through it. Several times, The Postman almost fell when the ground gave way, but he was fast and managed to catch himself on more stable ground each time. Parasite was seemingly ignoring them for the moment, whatever he was doing obviously taking precedence. Although the worm was constantly moving and creating new holes and crevices, it had made no outward attempt at attacking them.

Nothing on the island was left untouched, everything destroyed and falling apart as they passed. Even the Great Fairy Fountain had been shattered beyond recognition, the water and magic long gone. There was no sign of the Moblin tribe or anything else alive for that matter. Everything was gone.

Dark clouds were forming overhead, thunder already gently rumbling in the distance. The Postman had a feeling the Gods and Goddesses were watching them and he couldn't help but feel apprehensive. Was Parasite telling the truth? Were the divine truly trying to turn him into a monster? He had no answer for this and simply sped up, trying not to think about it.

The music got louder and louder, the closer they got to the mountain and as they ran up the steps, it was deafening. The Postman couldn't hear anything else past the music, seemingly deaf to all other sound. The moment they reached the top of the mountain and The Postman's feet touched the crest, the music cut off abruptly. The silence seemed to hit him like a ton of bricks and The Postman felt his limbs shaking as he took a step forward.

"Hero?" an unexpected voice questioned.

Both turned to see Marin sitting near the Windfish's nest, her face tear streaked and dress torn. She looked like she'd been through hell and The Postman didn't doubt the horrors she had seen. She began crying at the sight of him, covering her face with her hands and The Postman shifted uncomfortably.

"I prayed,' she whispered. "I was praying so hard that you would come. I was afraid you had died with the others…"

The Postman wasn't sure how to react but he felt an unexplainable guilt rise within him. "Marin…" he began. "I'm sorry…"

Brief, hot anger flashed in her eyes. "Where were you?" she demanded. "Our world was dying and you were nowhere to be found! Everybody and everything is gone! What kind of hero are you?!"

The Postman blinked. "I'm not a hero." He responded carefully. "I'm sorry, but I'm just a postman, a nothing. I'm nobody's hero."

He had been saying that from the very beginning but no one ever seemed to listen to him. Everyone always seemed to have their own idea of who he was and nothing he ever said changed their minds.

Marin wiped at her eyes bitterly then slowly rose to her feet. She reeled back her hand to slap him but it was Sakon who caught her arm. His expression was murderous as he held her arm at bay and Marin was clearly shocked, not resisting in the least. Sakon pulled her close so they were nearly nose to nose, his eyes narrowing threateningly.

"Don't you dare." He warned. "He may be a dumbass in denial about a great many things but this is not his fault. He did what he could while you useless villagers just sat on your asses waiting to be saved. Maybe if you had of actually tried to defend yourselves from the start, this never would have happened! If anyone is to blame, it's you!"

Sakon shoved her away from him harshly and Marin almost lost her balance as she stumbled back. Her expression was both shocked and greatly distraught as what Sakon told her sunk in.

"You can't blame her." The Postman said with a frown.

"No." Sakon disagreed, still looking angry. "Some skanky woman does not get to tell us what a crap job we've been doing! Let her try fighting through some of those dungeons! She wouldn't last two minutes!"

"From what I've observed, people often say things they don't mean when they're upset." Gertrude offered. "Doesn't she have reason to be upset?"

"Shut up, snail." Sakon grumbled. "Wasn't talking to you."

"Gertrude's right." The Postman said. "I'm not taking it personally and neither should you."

Marin gave them both an apologetic look. "I didn't mean it." She confessed. "Please help me save what's left of my island!"

The Postman wasn't entirely sure of what he could do but he nodded all the same. "I'll do my best, miss."

He didn't hold high hopes but there was no point in her knowing that. If anything, she should have been asking Sakon to save her, he was the one who could actually fight after all.

Marin wiped her eyes again and gave him a small, sad smile."Thank you." she said taking a step towards him.

Sakon, not so subtly, stepped between them and demanded. "Can you play an instrument, Skanky?"

Marin cocked her head. "Did you know you have a snail stuck to your forehead?"

"Answer the question."

"Uh, yeah, I can play the ocarina..." Marin responded uncertainly.

Sakon grabbed the flute from The Postman and thrust it into her face. "Good, you can play this then."

Marin accepted the flute and gave him a flabbergasted look. "A flute is nothing like an ocarina! I've never played a flute before!"

"If you can blow an ocarina then you can blow a flute." Sakon retorted, pausing a moment to giggle at what he'd just said.

The Postman rolled his eyes. "Do you think you can try?" he asked Marin hopefully.

Marin looked down at the flute in her hands. "I can try..." she stated. "Why do we need to play the instruments?"

"The island needs its god, we're going to try to wake the Windfish."

Marin's eyes widened. "Wake the Windfish?! We are part of his dream; what happens when he awakes? Waking him could make the entire world disappear!"

The Postman gave a slow nod, knowing that was a complete possibility. "The Windfish is being consumed and unless we wake him, this entire dream will disappear forever. Waking him is the only chance we have so that he may fight back."

Marin looked away from him silently, her gaze settling on the ocean in the far distance. "My father used to always tell me that there was nothing beyond the sea, that it just stretched on forever, but I believe there must be something there... When I found you on the beach, hero, my heart skipped a beat and I just knew the world was so much bigger than I thought. I was sure you'd come from the gods to give us a message, to give us hope."

Sakon gave a condescending snort but Marin didn't notice and continued.

"Now when I look out to sea, I imagine all the wonderful places that must be on the other side. If I were a seagull, I would fly as far as I could away from here and see them all! I would sing for all the people in the world! If I pray to the Windfish, I wonder if my dream will come true?"

Sakon let out another snort. "Your one wish is to become a disease-ridden scavenger bird that no one likes?" he paused as he thought about that. "I wholly support this wish."

"Bully." Gertrude pointed out.

The Postman wasn't sure what to say to Marin so he said nothing at all. She turned to face him then held up the flute, her expression determined.

"Let's wake him." she stated. "My island is dead anyway so if I disappear then I will join my friends and family. Perhaps we will all come back in the Windfish's next dream? Perhaps I will return as a seagull and finally get my wish?"

Sakon grinned, obviously about to say something mean so The Postman quickly spoke up. "Okay, let's get started."

Sakon lifted Gertrude and placed her behind one of his ears for safekeeping then held up the cowbell.

The Postman stared down at the cello, having absolutely no idea how to play it, and wondered if he had to play it 'well' or just had to make a bit of noise with it. If it was the latter then he was certain he'd have no problem.

They no more than lifted the instruments, when the entire mountain began to quake and shift beneath them. Marin let out a cry as she stumbled, the flute falling to the ground with a loud 'ting'. The Postman grabbed a hold of a boulder to steady himself and Sakon drew his sword, knowing exactly what was coming. There was a monstrous boom and the entire top of the mountain seemed to explode in chunks of rocks and earth. Clouds of grey dust billowed around them in a thick, choking veil and the shadow of the monster within slowly began emerging.

Red eyes glinted at them from the dust and Parasite's gaze seemed to be settled entirely on Sakon. He chuckled at the sight of the thief, pulling more and more of his body out of the mountain.

"My prey doesn't often get away, human." He said calmly. "You will be consumed the same as the rest of this world."

Sakon scowled up at him and jumped into the air, sword held tightly. "I'm not going to be eaten by a tapeworm."

Parasite let out an irritated snarl. "I am not a tapeworm! You, human, are a dumb little meatbag to keep antagonizing one who has the power to kill you."

"Hey, no need to be insulting!" Sakon responded, giving Parasite a cocky smirk. "It's not your fault that you're a tapeworm! I can understand why you're sensitive about it. It is kinda gross!"

"Sakon!" The Postman hissed. "You're only making him angrier! Shut up!"

Parasite's eyes flitted to The Postman briefly, but it was clear his issue was primarily with Sakon. He bared his fangs in a snarl and then lunged, mouth agape but it was not at Sakon as expected. Marin let out a scream as Parasite coiled around her and she struggled uselessly as he began squeezing the breath out of her.

"Hey!" Sakon protested angrily. "Quit picking on girls!"

"It does not matter." Parasite responded, squeezing tighter. "Everything will be consumed eventually anyway."

There was the definite sound of cracking bone and Marin screamed all the louder. The Postman let out a gasp of concern for Marin and stepped forward in an attempt at appeal.

"Why are you doing this?" he demanded. "Why do you want to destroy everything you touch? What good is a dead world? Please let her go."

"I am what I am." Parasite responded casually. "Everyone and everything is set on their own paths and nothing can change this. I was created to destroy and you were created to be used. You can fight destiny but you can't win against it."

Sakon squinted at The Postman for a moment, obviously confused. "What's he talking about? Who's using you? Tell me and I'll go beat them for you."

"He's lying." The Postman responded confidently. "No one is using me and the gods hold no interest in me."

Parasite gave a low hissing chuckle. "Believe what you want, it won't change anything."

Parasite gave Marin another squeeze and she let out such a shriek and The Postman took a step forward. He wasn't a soldier, nor did he have the mentality of a reckless hero and he wasn't sure what to do. He didn't possess any weapons or have any great powers so all he could do was watch helplessly. Sakon on the other hand, was used to recklessness and felt pretty confident when he strode towards Parasite.

Although Sakon didn't care much for Marin, he didn't especially want to see her die and decided it would make him look good to come to her defense. Holding up his sword, he charged.

Parasite met Sakon's gaze directly then with a loud snap, squeezed Marin limp. The Postman let out a gasp as she was tossed aside over the edge of the mountain, her still form disappearing down into the void. Sakon stared in disgust, uncertain about how he felt about Marin's death, and lifted his sword threateningly.

"Coward!" he accused angrily. "Killing a girl! I'll cut off your head!"

Parasite didn't reply and instead lunged for The Postman who was looking completely shell-shocked. Sakon let out a snarl and leapt between them, swinging his sword at the worm's face. The blade bounced off the mask with a loud clang and knocked Parasite off target. His teeth sunk into the boulder next to The Postman and Sakon swung at him a second time.

"I said to leave the girls alone!" Sakon yelled. "Why don't ya pick on me instead?"

Parasite rounded on him in an instant and Sakon barely managed to dodge out of the way in time. Parasite rebounded and lunged at him a second time, the worm's fangs grazing his back and tearing his shirt. Sakon let out a curse as he realized Parasite had used The Postman as bait to draw him in close. Cut and bleeding, Sakon sped up, trying to get enough distance between them so he could retaliate. Fangs snapped at one of his legs and Sakon kicked out at it, trying to get away. It was very reminiscent of the last time he had faced Parasite and he wasn't about to allow himself to be captured again.

Squirming coils of worm were everywhere Sakon turned as Parasite kept pulling himself further and further out of the mountain. He seemed much bigger than when Sakon had seen him inside the Windfish's egg and the coils filled the air like a grotesque pile of spaghetti.

The Postman saw the danger Sakon was in and pulled out his shield and reached into the backpack looking for something useful. His hand closed over what he was looking for and he was off, running to catch up with Sakon, not sure what to do, but knowing he had to help.

Parasite snapped at Sakon's head, who dropped to the ground and rolled just in time. As a thief, he was used to everyone trying to kill him so he had the reflexes of a cat. There wasn't a town or village in Hyrule that didn't have a death warrant out for him and Sakon had barely escaped many situations that most people would have died in. He'd lived in constant ostracism and danger since the age of fifteen, and as far as he was concerned, no one besides a hero was allowed kill him. That didn't mean he was going to just walk into danger however; his self-preservation wouldn't allow it.

He dodged to one side as Parasite once again took a bite at him and he sped up even further. Parasite was very quickly becoming frustrated and lashed out at the thief with a length of its body, knocking him hard to the ground. Sakon let out a cry of pain as he was smashed bodily into the ground and didn't have time to recover before Parasite pounded a coil down on top of him, nearly crushing him. The worm then held him down as Sakon wheezed, trying to recover. Feeling like one enormous bruise, Sakon gave a useless squirm, unable to budge an inch against the enormous weight.

"So weak, little thief." Parasite mocked, his white fangs gleaming. "No one can defeat Parasite, you will die."

It was then that The Postman threw the entire bag of magic powder at Parasite's face as hard as he could, the white powder exploding upon impact. Parasite let out a howl of agony as his entire face caught fire and he reeled back, unknowingly releasing Sakon.

Sakon rolled to his feet, gave The Postman a grin then jumped into the air away from Parasite. Parasite ground his own face into the dirt repeatedly until the flames were snuffed out then he turned a murderous gaze onto The Postman. He lashed out at him and The Postman barely had time to raise the shield before he was smashed into a large boulder. Parasite quickly swiped at him a second time, sending him sprawling into the side of another rock. The shield had lessened the impact slightly but not nearly enough and he crumpled limply to the ground, bleeding and dizzy. Sakon let out a cry of outrage and flew at Parasite as fast as he could, kicking the worm hard in its burnt and shriveled face.

A chunk of flesh came off at impact and Parasite let out a monstrous roar, his face now bleeding a thick black ooze. Sakon stuck out his tongue at him, flying backwards in an attempt to lead Parasite away from The Postman. Parasite's red eyes narrowed at Sakon in pure hate, and he lunged at the thief without warning, his jaws snapping mere inches from Sakon's face. Instantly, Sakon was on the run again, trying to think of a way to kill the worm without getting himself maimed in the process. Coils of worm lashed out at him from every direction and Sakon dodged and zigzagged expertly, looking for an opportunity to attack.

The Postman was slumped against the boulder, his head bleeding heavily and barely conscious. He could feel the hot stickiness of blood streaming down his face but was confused and couldn't remember what had happened. The ballad of the Windfish was echoing loudly in his mind, clearly urging him to open his eyes and he let out a groan. He couldn't hear any of the battle taking place, the deafening music within his mind drowning out all other sound. Slowly opening his eyes, the song only grew louder, clearly ordering him to get up and take action.

The Postman tried to focus his bleary vision on the fight in front of him, his body just not wanting to cooperate. His whole body ached and he fell back when he attempted to push himself up. The music screamed at him in response and The Postman again forced himself up. Feeling a building clarity as the sounds came back to him, his eyes settled on Parasite who nearly filled all of the sky. He began searching the air for Sakon, hoping the thief was alright. He found him flitting high above him, barely a speck against the monstrosity that was Parasite, sword drawn and avoiding attacks the best he could.

Sakon dodged a vicious assault and suddenly saw his chance. There was a soft-looking patch of skin just below Parasite's head and he knew if hit hard enough he'd be able to slit the worm's throat. Ducking below an attack he lifted his sword for the death-strike and lunged. His sword almost touched Parasite's throat but Sakon suddenly froze, unable to go through with the kill. Despite knowing that Parasite wanted to and would kill him, Sakon just couldn't do it.

Parasite saw this as an opportunity and took it.

The Postman reached down and picked up his shield, noting that there seemed to be blood completely covering him. Squinting up at Sakon above, he let out a gasp as Parasite's teeth caught Sakon by the leg.

Sakon howled as the razor-sharp teeth pierced his leg, stopping his escape dead in its tracks. Parasite crunched down all the harder and there was the definite snap of bone as Sakon screamed. The worm threw Sakon hard to the ground, the thief unable to slow the fall. He smashed bodily into the mountain, his limbs scraping across the rocks until he finally came to a stop. The sword flew from his hand, far out of reach and Sakon let out a low whine of misery, multiple broken bones making themselves known. Before he even had time to move, Parasite slapped down a coil on top of him, pinning him to the ground. Parasite was now confident in its victory and he gave a sort of hungry grin towards his captured prey.

"No, no, no!" Sakon yelled out, all bravado instantly gone. He was through being a hero and just wanted to give up and go home. Screw the universe, someone else could save it.

"I am going to eat you piece by piece." Parasite told him casually. "Where would you like me to start? Any requests?"

Sakon gave a wriggle then nodded. "Yeah, you can start with my hair."

Parasite stared at Sakon's bald head a moment then tilted its own head dismissively. "I think I will start with your flesh." He stated. "You will survive it but the pain will be wondrous. After that I will take off your limbs one by one."

"Gross slimy tapeworm." Sakon snapped.

Parasite replied by applying pressure to Sakon's broken leg. The yowl was immediate and Sakon felt his vision blacken for just a moment, the pain unbearable.

The Postman watched in horror as Sakon was bitten and thrown to the ground, feeling both shocked and numb. It was clear the thief wasn't getting back up and needed his help. He took a step forward but his legs were shaky and buckled beneath him. He hit the ground with a grunt, the music scolding him and ordering him to get himself together.

First Parasite had killed Marin and now he was going to kill Sakon too. The Postman was furious that he could do nothing to stop it and the music swelled to mirror his anger. Reaching out on pure instinct, he felt his hand close over something made of cold metal. He looked down to see he was holding Sakon's sword and stared at it in surprise, the metal shining fiercely as there was a flash of lightening. There was a second flash and he saw that Sakon's name was no longer inscribed anywhere on the sword. In brilliant golden letters, the name Ichiro was engraved on its side. It was his brother's sword.

He stared at it long and hard, wondering what this could mean. Did his brother send this for him to use? Did he know he had learned of his existence? Who was his brother and where was he? The Postman looked all around but he was alone. The music screamed at him to move before it was too late and The Postman found himself slowly rising to his feet. Clenching the shield in one hand and the sword in the other, he saw Parasite begin lowering its head towards Sakon, teeth bared. Instinct took over and The Postman lashed out at a large section of the worm.

Parasite hissed in surprise as he was cleanly severed in two, black blood spraying across the mountaintop. The bottom half of the worm thrashed about in its death throes but the front end was still very much alive. The dead coils loosened and released their hold on a brilliant ball of energy and it fell to the ground, bouncing before coming to a stop. The Postman instinctively knew it was the Windfish.

Rounding on The Postman, Parasite let out a hiss at the sight of him, jagged teeth exposed in absolute fury.

"You will suffer greatly for this, human." It promised, lunging at him, mouth agape.

Sakon stared at The Postman with wide eyes, not expecting this at all. He watched as The Postman stood his ground, and smashed his shield into Parasite's face, knocking the attack aside. He stabbed out with the sword and successfully sliced along the worm's side, sending more black blood dripping. Parasite obviously wasn't expecting The Postman to be on the offensive and was anything but happy. Blind with rage, it lashed out at The Postman with both its teeth and its body, determined to kill him.

The Postman was driven by the screaming music in his mind and lashed out again and again, feeling like he was in a dream he couldn't wake from. His quiet life as a postman seemed a lifetime away and now the only thing he knew was the sweat and grime of battle; battle that seemed much too familiar to be coincidental. The Postman was in no way strong but he was extremely quick and the steel of the blade felt natural in his palm. His thoughts seemed to have come to a complete standstill, Parasite being the only thing he was capable of concentrating on.

Parasite's bleeding lower half was healing itself quickly as he attacked, the skin stitching together like he was being sewn from some large invisible hand. Long lengths of severed worm covered the top of the mountain, Parasite himself looking short and stubby at just over 100 feet in length.

Parasite slammed into The Postman like a wall of bricks and he was thrown back hard into a large chuck of rock. The Postman let out a cry of pain as his arm hit a sharp piece of stone and the sword and shield fell from his hands. Parasite gave him a cruel grin of success and hit him a second time, knocking him to the ground. The Postman's vision went black for a moment, his entire body screaming in pain and past the booming, angry music, he heard Sakon call to him.

Gasping for air, The Postman gave a wince knowing several of his ribs were broken and he slowly forced his eyes to open. He was met with the sight of enormous white fangs just inches from his face. Sakon was calling to him as loudly as he could but The Postman was feeling dazed. He couldn't understand a word the thief was yelling to him but it was extremely panicked and the music was swelling and ordering him to move.

The Postman felt the ground next to him and his fingers once again found the sword, despite the blade having been flung away. He stared up into the burnt face of Parasite, the worm's eyes narrowed to furious red slits from behind the mask.

"You are a nothing. She was fool to put so much faith in you." Parasite hissed, "I will kill you to save her the embarrassment of your failure. When you are dead, I will enjoy ripping the thief limb from limb."

Parasite dove down at The Postman, teeth bared for the kill and without even thinking about it, The Postman brought the sword up in one powerful swing. There was a sickening 'squelch' as sword met flesh and the severed head of Parasite hit the ground in front of him. The music cut off abruptly and The Postman's mind was filled with a heavy, crippling silence.

Realizing what he'd just done, he stared at the blood-soaked sword in complete horror and threw it to the ground. There was blood and flesh everywhere and The Postman remembered Parasite's monstrous vision of the village and he felt completely nauseated. Why had he done that? He was no warrior; he didn't even know how to fight! He'd taken someone's life! He had murdered a creature and its blood now surrounded him, puddles of it growing next to the head and body, seemingly accusing him.

He very slowly pushed himself to his feet and stared down at the head, its jaws still snapping in the attempted kill. He felt an overwhelming despair at what he'd done and although Parasite was a monster, he knew he shouldn't have killed him. He knew he was hurt quite badly but couldn't feel a thing, the horror outweighing anything else.

Unable to look at what he'd done any longer, The Postman turned away, his eyes settling on the Windfish's ball of light which seemed to be getting duller and duller by the second. He turned his eyes to Sakon in the distance, who was looking even worse for wear than him. Sakon's leg was clearly broken and the thief was covered in blood from head to toe.

Despite his obvious injuries, Sakon gave him a grin and a thumbs-up, clearly not bothered by what The Postman had just done. Using his arms to support himself so he could sit up, he looked incredibly proud and called over to him.

"Way to show that tapeworm who's boss, darling! I didn't know you had it in you!"

The Postman didn't answer. He hadn't known he'd had it in him either. It seemed he was capable of a great many things he'd have rather never found out. Suddenly without warning, a hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him quickly to one side just as Parasite's head lunged at him. The head fell to the ground dead, this being the last of its strength and life. The Postman looked beside him at The Happy Mask Salesman who was making a point to carefully brush invisible dust from his clothes. He was no longer dressed as a villager and once again he donned his fancy purple clothing.

"Careful, Postman." The Happy Mask Salesman cautioned with a knowing grin.

"Where did you come from?" Sakon called in surprise.

Sakon stared at his uncle thoughtfully for a moment then gave a shrug, immediately wincing at the movement. "Leave it to you to scuttle in once all the danger is over with."

The Happy Mask Salesman turned his gaze to the severed head and approached it, all of his attention now on the mask. He gave the head a prod with his foot to make sure it was dead, then very slowly reached for the mask. It pulled away from the corpse with a bare touch of his hand and immediately shrank down so that it was human-size. The moment the mask was removed, Parasite began shriveling like someone had lit the worm on fire and within seconds, nothing was left at all.

Sakon leaned back against a rock, wheezing but his eyes stayed glued to his uncle suspiciously. "You better disinfect that thing or you'll give yourself tapeworms." He called out.

The Happy Mask Salesman clearly wasn't paying him any attention and ran a hand carefully across the mask's surface. The Postman could feel the power radiating off of it and gave a shudder, not liking it at all. Looking incredibly satisfied with himself, The Happy Mask Salesman quickly placed the mask away inside his backpack, then finally turned his attention to Sakon. He approached the thief as Sakon eyed him warily and didn't say a single word as he knelt down beside him. He quickly looked over Sakon's injuries with a thoughtful expression then turned away.

"You'll live." was his only comment.

Sakon scowled at him. "Anyone ever tell you that you have the bedside manner of a toad?"

"You have a snail on your face." The Happy Mask Salesman replied.

Sakon reached up and plucked Gertrude from his forehead. "How in Din's name did you survive?!" he cried out in astonishment.

"I'm much tougher than I look." the snail replied. "I may be small but I have a hard shell and an intense dislike for worms."

Sakon grinned down at the snail and placed it safely on his shoulder. "I'm not fond of worms either." he commented agreeably.

The Postman still hadn't said a single word and stared down at the ground, feeling self-conscious and awkward. Sakon waved him over with a cheerful grin and The Postman approached, knowing at some point he'd have to tell Sakon about Parasite's vision.

"Why are you being all mopey?" Sakon demanded good-naturedly. "We won, we actually did it!"

"Yeah." The Postman replied without much emotion.

Sakon frowned at him, taking note of all the blood and cuts. "You're hurt..." he observed uneasily. "How bad is it?"

"I'm fine." The Postman lied, wavering slightly.

Sakon's eyes widened.

"I'm just tired." The Postman told him, every part of his body in agony."So, what do we do now?"

The Happy Mask Salesman turned to face them. "Our business is concluded here so we go home of course."

"How?" Sakon whined.

The Happy Mask Salesman knelt down and picked up the flute from the ground. He held it out towards them and when he was sure he had both men's attention he said. "To leave the dream, the Windfish must be woken."

"Fine, go ahead then." Sakon said eagerly. "I want to get out of this dump and back home!"

The Happy Mask Salesman handed the flute to The Postman. "I believe you're the one the Windfish has been calling. You have to be the one to wake him."

The Postman stared down at the flute and wavered again. "I don't know how to play."

"Try." The Happy Mask Salesman replied, searching the mountaintop for the other two instruments.

The Postman stared down at the flute in his fist, noting that his hands had flecks of black blood on them from Parasite. The flute felt much like a sword against his palm and The Postman almost dropped it in revulsion. The Happy Mask Salesman brought over the other two instruments and gave him an expectant look, wondering what the delay was. The Postman took a deep breath, averted his gaze from his hands and schooled his expression into indifference.

"Hurry up!" Sakon ordered impatiently. "I want to get back into a body that's not all smashed to pieces!"

The Happy Mask Salesman spared his nephew a glance. "Your injuries will carry over with you." He informed him.

Sakon's eyes widened. "What?! Why?!"

The Happy Mask Salesman gave a shrug. "You know the old saying that if you die in a dream you die in real life? This is no ordinary dream."

Sakon scowled at him. "How do you know this?" he demanded.

The Happy Mask Salesman ignored him and didn't answer, instead motioning for The Postman to get on with it. Sakon gave The Postman a large grin and pulled himself up a bit straighter.

"Guess I'll see you on the other side, darling."

The Postman had no idea how to play a flute but he raised it to his lips all the same and gave it a blow. One shrill note sounded, then to his surprise the flute disappeared from his hands. The sound of a flute filled the air, its notes low and gentle and The Postman immediately recognized the tune. Glancing over at the others, it was clear they heard it too and The Postman felt relieved that it wasn't just in his mind. Sakon was looking all around, his expression bewildered but he didn't question it.

The Postman was handed the cowbell and he gave it a shake, the bell immediately disappearing too. The cowbell's deep chime joined in with the flute and The Postman was wordlessly handed the cello. He didn't have a bow for it so he ran his fingers across the strings, the cello disappearing before he'd even finished. The sad, mournful sound of the cello joined in with the others and the nearly extinguished ball of light in front of them began to grow brighter and brighter.

It gave one final pulse then proceeded to explode, showering them all in some sort of hot powder-like debris. They were blinded by the brilliant power being released and all three shielded their eyes against it. There was another blinding flash of light that seemed to pull at their flesh uncomfortably, a presence so large and powerful, it couldn't be ignored. Through the light, The Postman caught sight of what looked like a giant flying whale before his mind exploded in a collage of images and he felt his body collapse beneath him.

He saw blood, flames, and death everywhere and he stood in the center of it all, sword raised and eyes cold and hard. He only had a moment to gaze at the horrible sight before the image shifted.

He saw an imposing black castle in the sky, a brown-eyed baby laying naked on an altar within its rooms, a tall man in a black cloak and his parents standing nearby. His mother was crying and ringing her hands nervously as she watched and his father was holding her close, his eyes never leaving the infant. The cloaked man was reading from a book above the baby, his words strange and unfamiliar. The baby's skin began to emit a dull glow and the man's voice began to get louder and louder. The Postman wasn't quite sure what he was seeing but before he could put much thought into it, the images were gone as quickly as they'd come and he was surrounded by darkness.

The darkness could have lasted five minutes or five years as The Postman had no concept of time. He had the sensation of weightlessness, there was no pain and he was too groggy to think clearly.

He heard a soft whisper in his ear but the voice sounded thousands of miles away and he couldn't understand it. It became a bit louder and he felt a word ghost across his mind.

"-Hero."

The Postman continued floating blissfully, having no opinion on that.

"-Hero." the voice repeated even louder.

The Postman struggled to react but he had no words to use. He felt like he was beneath some sort of veil and mentally reached out to draw it aside.

"Hero-"

The Postman tugged at the darkness even harder.

"-Hiro!"

The Postman felt himself rising like he was surfacing in water and the voice became even clearer.

"Jihiro!"

"Jaru, I don't think we should move him, he looks really bad."

The Postman struggled even harder to pull away the smothering darkness.

"JIHIRO!"

The Postman became aware of excruciating pain and let out a moan, this being the first sound he'd made. He reached out his hands and felt warm, rough sand beneath his fingers. Sand? Where did sand come from? The Postman slowly opened his eyes a crack, the light nearly blinding him, and he blinked a few times before he could focus his vision. Looking up, he saw several of his brothers and sisters gathered around him worriedly, none daring to touch him.

"Thank the goddesses." his sister Toshiko said in relief. "You scared us half to death!"

The Postman took a shallow breath, his chest feeling like it had been crushed and winced at the pain. Why were his brothers and sisters on the island? How did they get here all the way from Termina? The Postman gave another long blink and then tried to sit up. He fell back down with a grunt, his limbs too bruised and swollen to be of much use.

"No, don't move!" Jaru cried out in a panic. "Stay still!"

The Postman squinted up at him. "Help me up." he ordered, his voice dry and scratchy.

All his siblings immediately shook their heads.

"You're hurt." Toshiko pointed out.

"Help. Me. Up." The Postman said with more force.

The others exchanged a look with one another then two of his brothers reached forward to gently help him sit up. The Postman felt several of his ribs shift at the movement and he bit his lip in an attempt not to cry out. Once sitting up properly, The Postman glanced around and to his complete surprise he saw he was on the beach of Great Bay in Termina. It was just after dawn and he could see a pirate ship sailing away in the distance, it's black flags raised as a warning to all.

"Where have you been?" Toshiko demanded, a hint of anger in her voice. "We've been looking for you all night! What happened to you?"

The Postman simply stared at her. He had no idea how he got home and he wasn't sure how to explain his two month absence.

Toshiko gave him an odd look. "We thought we saw you ride by us a few minutes ago dressed as a woman...but it couldn't have been you. What happened? Who did this to you?"

The Postman's eyes widened. A few minutes ago? What was going on?! His gaze went back to the pirate ship now barely visible in the distance. If they had seen him ride by just a few minutes ago then he should already be on the pirate ship on the way to the island... How was he in two places at once?!

"You're really not looking very good..." Jaru commented. "We need to get you to the doctor's."

The Postman was beginning to feel extremely light-headed and none of this was making sense. Did he even go to the island? Did he imagine the whole thing? Was he really just losing his mind? Did he have a mental breakdown at Haru's wedding and hallucinate everything? Nothing made sense and The Postman let out a deep groan.

He let his head drop tiredly and saw the Pegasus boots were still on his feet. It wasn't a dream, the whole adventure had really happened. They had escaped the island and woken the Windfish.

"Find Sakon." he ordered, feeling himself slowly being pulled back towards the darkness of sleep. "Please."

"Who?"

The Postman's eyes drifted closed. "Ikana Canyon. Cave. Please, find him."

Without another word, The Postman lost consciousness, slumping limply into his sibling's arms. As they carefully lifted him, none noticed they were being observed.

Watching from high above, a Goddess stood silent and still, a seagull perched beside her. The bird had a little bit too much intelligence in its eyes and let out a powerful shriek, taking off into the air, flying as far and freely as it desired.

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**Reviews Make the Author Happy!**

**So, as you all know, there is still the very big mystery of The Postman's past left unresolved in this chapter. I was planning on having it all revealed in part 5 of the series. Would you guys rather it be a separate part or just added onto this one for a super long story? I thought you guys might prefer it to be split up since the length of part 4 is kinda scary right now but it's up to you. Let me know what you guys think. :)**


	25. Author Note

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**Authornote:**

Hey guys, so you all know that I was trying to decide whether to make part 4 just one enormous story or separate the conclusion of the story into part 5. I took into consideration the reviews and PM's I received and this is just a quick note to let you know that it seems to be unanimous that everyone wants a part five so I will do my best to have the update out as soon as possible. I've decided to write both part 5 and my Ganondorf/Happy Mask Salesman story at once so hopefully there'll be an update at least once a week.

All of you readers have been so supportive of this story and I'm truly grateful for all the suggestions, helpful criticisms and kind words! ;D You guys are awesome!

BTW, If you're looking for something good to read in the meantime, Reiz16 is writing her own origin story for the characters and chapter one of her story has been posted.

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